Frustrated with HS community enabling itself to lower standards...

[Rose in BC]

How do you know this? Do you have personal experience? Do you know how all school districts work? To me, this is yet another homeschool myth...nice to say, easy to scare other homeschoolers with, yet based only on rumor, not fact.

 

It may come as a total shock to some of you, but "the system" can actually work with children who struggle to learn.

 

 

I have a child who I know, without a doubt, would not have managed in ps. We do not live in a an area where "the system" does does a good job of handling struggling learners. My child would have been labeled and probably sent for Ritalin. (I'm not saying there isn't usefulness in this drug but I am of the opinion it is over prescribed.) I also know this same child would have benefited from me lightening up in the early years. I am a driven, goal oriented person and wanted him to meet high standards year after year. He is now in Grade 8 (still schooling at home). I have come to realize that some children develop later. I'm not saying parents should neglect their children's education but I am saying that for some children not reading until a bit older, not developing strong writing skills until older, etc., goes hand in hand with their natural development. I would have saved our household a lot of grief if I hadn't been so hung up on being able to read at 5, write in Grade 2, etc.

 

I think it's hard to make blanket statements because everyone's circumstances are different based on their family differences and their geographical location differences. While I agree there are hs families who do not do a good job the same can be said about ps.

[Elizabeth Conley]

I'm not saying parents should neglect their children's education but I am saying that for some children not reading until a bit older, not developing strong writing skills until older, etc., goes hand in hand with their natural development. I would have saved our household a lot of grief if I hadn't been so hung up on being able to read at 5, write in Grade 2, etc.

 

 

This is important for those itching to judge the quality of other people's home schooling efforts.

 

I am surrounded by people who feel entitled to judge how my kids are doing. Few of these judges have any idea what my son goes through on a daily basis as he struggles with his medical problems. Only a few of these judges have a clue what's going on with the kid. They don't know squat, but they sure are quick to judge.

[Elizabeth Conley]

Like Rose, I know that PS would be bad for my son. I know because he went to PS for 4.5 miserable years before we pulled the plug.

 

They treated him like dirt because he had hearing problems. They acted as if he was stupid, and taught him little or nothing. Now that he's home his ITBS scores are all well above the 90th percentile. Not that this fact slows the "judges" down. They can always find something to criticize.

[Heather in WI]

These threads deteriorate quickly when parents of special needs kids feel defensive. When I post on these types of threads, I always feel the need to say (medical or psychological disabilities are excluded.) The OP was not referring to special needs kids or including them in her statement. She was referring, I believe, to posts like:

 

"My (non-physically or medically challenged) 10 yo ds refuses to do more than 20 minutes of school! Is this ok? I just want to throw in the towel."

 

with 20 replies like:

"That's ok! My son is the same way!"

 

"That's the beauty of homeschooling!"

 

"Just take a week off! Maybe he'll want to do next week!"

 

"Have you tried doing less school? Maybe you're burning him out? Drill and kill kills their spirits anyway."

[Rose in BC]

These threads deteriorate quickly when parents of special needs kids feel defensive. When I post on these types of threads, I always feel the need to say (medical or psychological disabilities are excluded.) The OP was not referring to special needs kids or including them in her statement. She was referring, I believe, to posts like:

 

 

 

In most ways I would say he was a typical boy but it might be more accurate to say he needed more time to mature.

 

I am in no way endorsing slovenliness. And I have already agreed that there are some people who do neglect teaching their kids and their kids would be better of in ps.

 

I am also saying sometimes, even "normal" kids need extra time to meet milestones and that this is not the equivalent of a lack of teaching in the home.

 

For what it's worth, I too am unhappy when bad homeschoolers give good homeschoolers a bad name. (There's a tongue twister.) I guess I would just say you have to be careful when judging other people.

[mirth]

I feel that the # of homeschooled kids who would be better off in public are so few and far between that it is noise level.

 

So what about unschoolers who have no standards at all? Would they be the dregs of the hs society?

 

Anyway, the whole idea that somebody else is responsible doesn't work for me. The drawback/caveat of hs'ing for me is that there is no one else to blame if things go wrong.

Edited October 7, 2009 by mirth

[Jonibee]

Originally Posted by Ria

You forgot one: "Homeschoolers are always ahead of their public-schooled peers just by virtue of being homeschooled." That's a lie, plain and simple.

 

I agree with your post. As one who began homeschooling 16 years ago, I can tell you that things have really changed. Back then, homeschooling was considered very much outside the norm, much more so than it is now. Homeschoolers seemed to feel a sense of obligation to prove themselves, to make sure their children got an excellent education, to make sure their children did not fall behind their public and private schooled peers.

 

Over the past 8 years I've seen all that change. I've taught classes where students are *years* behind, had 4th graders who could barely read a sentence, seen highschoolers who couldn't write a paragraph. Math? Science? Forget it...the moms would tell me, "I'm not really good at math..." or "I was never a science person..." Auughh.

 

I don't keep quiet on these boards about this; indeed, I've stepped out plenty of times to say if you can't give your children a decent and appropriate education, put them in school. Homeschooling is magical and wonderful IF the parent considers it his/her JOB. Jobs take commitment, hard work, perseverance, and dedication. School is not an option, it's not something to put aside when things get hectic, or when mom or kids just don't feel like doing it. Sure, once in a while that won't cause harm, but when it becomes a pattern there's a problem.

 

This might not be a popular mesasge, but I don't care. A child's education is a very serious matter. Making excuses for being years behind, for not teaching science during the grammar stage, for switching from one math program to another, year after year, with no forward progress is just that - an excuse. Excuses do not educate a child.

 

I would like to point out that I do see more dedicated, caring homeschoolers on these boards than I ever did in real life. The Well-Trained Mind is an excellent guide, and parents who follow it will not have to worry about their children's educations.

-----------------------

Great post, Ria!

And may I add that I am getting REALLY tired of every other homeschooler I know calling me and my kids overachievers?!! Why? Because we DO THE WORK. I'm tired of that. I am tired of their cop-outs.

Joan

[Heather in WI]

I feel that the # of homeschooled kids who would be better off in public are so few and far between that it is noise level.

 

 

{shrug} I guess it depends on the public school. Some public schools in our area are so horrible that I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. It makes me angry that the level of their ineptitude is not on the evening news every night. On the other hand, some public schools in our area are unbelievably fantastic. The majority are in the ho-hum middle.

 

There are homeschooling friends that I think their children would be better off in either the ho-hum middle or one of the better schools. Do I say this? Of course not. It is as much their right to homeschool their children the way they want to as much as it my right to homeschool mine the way I want to.

 

I do feel bad for the children however. I know they are not dumb and could do so much more than is currently expected of them.

[ereks mom]

...No, it is not acceptable for your child to be that far behind unless he truly has a learning disability. You may need to reconsider your motivations for HS and step up and take responsibility for your child's lack of education at home.

...Falling behind is NOT an option. He will do better at home than at PS, or he may as well go back to school...

 

I emphasized a sentence from your post because I find it so very true. A dear young college-age friend (a ps graduate) asked me just this past weekend why I homeschool. My answer was that I knew I could do a better job of teaching my kids than the public schools would. And I do my best to make sure that I do just that. If I didn't, my kids may as well go to the public school.

[Tidbits of Learning]

There are plenty of brilliant people stuck in dead end job and barely showing up for those. Sad but true.

 

It's a Mom's job to play on her children's strengths and work on the weaknesses. If her kids are brilliant but mentally lazy, it's HER JOB to work on that - to get them to do the hard parts of academic work instead of just coasting on their innate intelligence.

 

It is our job to work on their weaknesses. I have faced this very dilema with my 3rd grade that seems to be incapable of finishing math in a normal amount of time. It isn't the actual math though. It is the copying of the problems. At a co-op meeting, I mentioned my dilema and how to get her prepared for the rigors of copying math from textbooks from now on out.

What ensued was a 30 minute thinly vieled argument about how she wasn't ready and I should just go buy a math workbook from Walmart and call it a day or unschool for a while instead of training her to perservere and overcome her weakness. I mean they got mad at me for saying I needed to continue and work with her on this weakness instead of just letting her do a Walmart workbook.

So I agree that so much of the you can wait or you can put it off or let them be kids is bad for homeschoolers. It is especially bad for new homeschoolers.

I posted on a different forum about my choices for 1st, 3rd, and 4th to get some feedback on the curriculum I had chosen (this is my first year at home-afterschooled for 4 years prior). I was met with some good responses and then one person jumped me over how much I had my first grader doing and how I should wait until even 5th grade for so much writing and grammer and phonics...It was very off putting, but what was more so was the amount of people that came on to tell me that I should let my ds6.5 (first grade) go outside and play and go on nature walks for the whole year and call it first grade. This was the advise I was given after putting my 1st grade curriculum up for review and advise.

So I do think that homeschooling can be overwhelming at first and trying to find your niche and figure out where your kids are is hard enough without going down the path that you can just wing it until high school and then panic b/c they are so far behind. I get so mad every time I see someone ask for advise and get told to let their kids be kids for a while longer.

[Stacy in NJ]

IQ isn't destiny. .

 

If you review my post, you'll see that I significantly qualified my comment.

[StartingOver]

I agree with your post. As one who began homeschooling 16 years ago, I can tell you that things have really changed. Back then, homeschooling was considered very much outside the norm, much more so than it is now. Homeschoolers seemed to feel a sense of obligation to prove themselves, to make sure their children got an excellent education, to make sure their children did not fall behind their public and private schooled peers.

Ria

 

 

I too have seen the face of homeschooling change over the last 20 years. Back then we had something to prove. Now I see so many families in my area doing 5-10 field trips a week. I always wonder when they have time to teach their children.

 

I know my thoughts won't be popular with everyone. That's ok with me.

 

Everyone has to do what is right for thier own children.

[Peek a Boo]

Back then we had something to prove. Now I see so many families in my area doing 5-10 field trips a week. I always wonder when they have time to teach their children.

 

 

Some people actually teach their children through field trips. We learn quite a bit through discussion when we're out and about.

 

My answer was that I knew I could do a better job of teaching my kids than the public schools would. And I do my best to make sure that I do just that. If I didn't, my kids may as well go to the public school.

 

Not me---- I homeschool cuz I can't stand the social crap that goes on in the schools. Based on what the public school is producing, I'd rather have a well-socialized young adult that can read well and fill in any gaps in their knowledge on their own than a kid that knows how to play the school game.

 

but that's just me ;)

[Peela]

 

Not me---- I homeschool cuz I can't stand the social crap that goes on in the schools. Based on what the public school is producing, I'd rather have a well-socialized young adult that can read well and fill in any gaps in their knowledge on their own than a kid that knows how to play the school game.

 

but that's just me ;)

 

I think that is more my inclination as well. I never originally homeschooled in order to give my kids a superior education than they would get in schools- that was a possible wonderful side benefit. I homeschooled my son because he had LDs and suffered in school...it was traumatic for him and he wasnt learning at all...I was more worried about his self esteem than anything- his giving up. For dd, it was purely social...we just didnt want to lose her to the system.

 

I found TWTM months after I had begun homeschooling. I was happy to try anything, even unschooling, rather than school.

I would not call us especially "rigorous" any more, but we do do a fair school day almost every day. I don't take days off lightly. We have our routine. I do wonder at the families who don't spend much time at home, but I also wished I spent more time out of the house doing field trips when my kids were younger.

There is more than one way to homeschool. And not all kids are college bound.

[ereks mom]

I homeschool cuz I can't stand the social crap that goes on in the schools.

 

I think that is more my inclination as well. I never originally homeschooled in order to give my kids a superior education than they would get in schools- that was a possible wonderful side benefit. ...

 

My original intention was to give my kids a superior education than they would get in the (terrible) local public schools. For us, the side benefit is that they are spared the "social crap" that goes on in the schools -- and that became a BIG benefit once they reached middle school & high school age. Neither of is right or wrong, we just have a different purpose, I guess. And to paraphrase what Peela said, there's more than one reason to homeschool.

[LibraryLover]

lol

Edited October 9, 2009 by LibraryLover

[lionfamily1999]

Standards are either in the eyes of the beholder, or else those set by the state. If you fall below the standards of the state, you won't be hsing much longer ;) If you fall below my standards... well... I guess you didn't really care about my standards in the first place.

 

I'm still getting used to hsing. I'm still feeling it out and learning just how much room there is for personalization. My standards are high and I'm learning that I don't have to do what someone else (or some other school) dictates in order to reach and exceed those standards.

 

I'm more than happy to say, if nothing's getting done, maybe you SHOULD take a day off. I also say it's better to slog through to the weekend and then use your weekend to repair your schedule (not to do work, but to plan it).

 

I think that setting standards for hsing as a whole is impossible and also, I think many people are reaching their own standards (maybe not mine ;) ). I'm sure there's plenty of people here that would enable me to lower my standards, but in the end that's my problem, because they are my standards.

[hscherger]

Can I just ramble a bit?

 

I really feel that the HS community has completely enabled itself to settle for for lower standards than we should.

 

"Is it okay if we take off school this week even though we are 6 weeks behind? We just need to take a break."

"Can my 10 year old do Core 1?"

"My 10 year old is not writing, and is in 2nd grade math. Is that okay? "

 

All of these are all too often met with a resounding YES!

 

:iagree:

 

You are only hurting your kiddos if you have low expectations!

[Radish4ever]

I'm sure you'll get a variety of responses... but I agree with much of what you say for myself. Low standards are why my kids aren't in public school in the first place.

 

 

:iagree:

[Peek a Boo]

My original intention was to give my kids a superior education than they would get in the (terrible) local public schools. For us, the side benefit is that they are spared the "social crap" that goes on in the schools -- and that became a BIG benefit once they reached middle school & high school age. Neither of is right or wrong, we just have a different purpose, I guess. And to paraphrase what Peela said, there's more than one reason to homeschool.

 

no no no!

I'm more right than you are!!!

 

:boxing_smiley:

nyah nyah nyah nya-nyaaah nyaaah!

:001_tt2:

 

 

 

 

-----------------

just kidding!

 

sorta ;)

[funschooler5]

Some people actually teach their children through field trips. We learn quite a bit through discussion when we're out and about.

 

 

 

Not me---- I homeschool cuz I can't stand the social crap that goes on in the schools. Based on what the public school is producing, I'd rather have a well-socialized young adult that can read well and fill in any gaps in their knowledge on their own than a kid that knows how to play the school game.

 

but that's just me ;)

 

:iagree:

 

There's more than one way to teach. My homeschooling motto is "first do no harm". My kids are happy, they love to read, love to watch educational movies/tv shows, and they are kind, intelligent kids (in my not-so-humble opinion :D). Yeah, we're doing the classical education thing (with Latin, even! :tongue_smilie:), but that's just us. I know plenty of unschoolers out there with smart, motivated kids. Who am I to say they aren't doing enough "schoolwork" every day?

[LibraryLover]

:iagree:

 

There's more than one way to teach. My homeschooling motto is "first do no harm". My kids are happy, they love to read, love to watch educational movies/tv shows, and they are kind, intelligent kids (in my not-so-humble opinion :D). Yeah, we're doing the classical education thing (with Latin, even! :tongue_smilie:), but that's just us. I know plenty of unschoolers out there with smart, motivated kids. Who am I to say they aren't doing enough "schoolwork" every day?

 

 

Bzzzt. I will need clarification on this answer. Alex? lol

 

Are you saying that children can thrive and be intelligent without being made to sit through reams of work sheets and crying jags? Where is the discipline? Where is the suffering?

 

Surely you jest!

Edited October 9, 2009 by LibraryLover

[ereks mom]

no no no!

I'm more right than you are!!!

 

:boxing_smiley:

nyah nyah nyah nya-nyaaah nyaaah!

:001_tt2:

 

 

 

 

-----------------

just kidding!

 

sorta ;)

 

:lol:

[SonshineLearner]

You know... I've seen this thread for a while. I have a 6th grader, and I'm constantly trying to think of how to make her stretch. I don't wanna bend down to her level... I want her to rise about me:-) It's hard.... harder than I ever thought. She wants the ACE way... you know... fill in the blanks and you're done... I want the "Wanna think/talk about it" ...

Carrie:-)

[Lizzie in Ma]

I have never known anyone like this.

 

I think its far more concerning that people are teaching their children from science texts which claim that black holes are caused by sin and history books which say God planned that the white europeans would murder and steal from the "indians" (isnt that what providentialists really mean?) or that dinos were made on day 6 and coexisted with man than whether or not someone finishes their palate of latin workbooks for a particular year.

 

 

Ok to answer the OP... Personally, the homeschoolers I know are a mixed bag with wildly varying goals and ideas about what homeschool looks like. I know massive underachievers, I know kids that struggle and I know some of those crazy smart overachievers too. I don't know anyone who does not sincerely want the best for their children even if I may disagree with their methods. For the record, I am a classical homeschooler with eclectic tendencies and a proud member of Draconian Homeschoolers.

 

and now to respond to the quote above... WOW!! Just because you do not have a young earth, Christian, Providential viewpoint does not make books that have these views nor the folks that have these beliefs scary. It is folks that say things in such a manner, that are both scary as well as disrespectful. And NO it is not what Providentialists mean.

[Reya]

I don't think IQ is a good predictor of success.

 

Because it doesn't make you feel good to think this? Because you know this guy and he's really smart but he hasn't done anything with his life?

 

IQ, the ability to delay gratification in pursuit of a goal, and literacy are the big three things most closely correlated with success. IQ is positively correlated up to about 3 standard deviations above the mean and then is negatively correlated--but the reasons for THAT are in the structure of institutional education rather than anything else.

[creekmom]

I know this is an old thread, but someone asked for a good "butt kicking" thread in another post recently. This is a good one!

[unsinkable]

I know this is an old thread, but someone asked for a good "butt kicking" thread in another post recently. This is a good one!

 

I was looking at this thinking, "Hey! 2009 called. It wants its thread back!"

[suppleasthewind]

I have temporarity lowered my standards in one area - writing and journal keeping. The boys hated this while in school. The boys are thriving in other areas right now, so I am going to let this area slide and try to get them back into it in the fall.

[KristinaBreece]

And more and more true the farther above an IQ of 150 you go.

 

A lack of challenge and consistently low standards feeds laziness and frustration.

 

I only read the last page of this old thread, but I have to vehemently agree with that bolded statement.

[FlyingMOm]

Sunshyne,

I remember that thread-it hit me hard as well. I wasn't giving my children the education they deserved. Our classical homeschooling went to relaxed homeschooling (math and library books) to unschooling to nonschooling. Ria's post was a kick in the bu** for me. All three of my school age kids are in ps right now, and doing well. Two will be home in the fall, though, now that I have my act together and my priorities straight. I'm looking forward to homeschooling again and now realize what a huge responsibility it is.

Jennifer

 

Could someone post a link to this thread? I'd like to read it as well!

[LittleIzumi]

I know this is old :tongue_smilie:, but I have the opposite problem. I took my kids ages out of my siggy because the work they love & that challenges them in a very wonderful, enjoyable way, some people think is nearly akin to torturing kids that age. So. Yeah. Just curricula, no ages in my siggy for quite a while now.

[Elizabeth in WA]

I'm kind of glad this thread has been resurrected. I'm currently struggling with how to handle snarky comments made directly to my child (while he is at his sport and I am not present) to the effect that we do too much school. He has asked how he should answer "Why do you do so much schoolwork?" and I have no idea what to tell him to say since any answer I could think of would in effect insult the asker's homeschool. I also don't think it's as much a serious question as a hostile comment.

:rant:

Thus far we have been ignoring it, but really.... what inspires a homeschooling parent to make negative statements to another child about his home education, especially to the effect that it is too rigorous?

:rant:

 

Back to this thread... it reminds me that I am not all alone in having high academic standards. :) So thanks for the resurrect.

[momma aimee]

I'm sure you'll get a variety of responses... but I agree with much of what you say for myself. Low standards are why my kids aren't in public school in the first place.

 

I have my kids at home, disablities / challanges and all, to hold them (and our family) to higher standards.

 

if a child has a strong disablity (LD or other) and is years behind peers, ok -- but no other reason.

 

it is our job to teach our children to challange themself and be accountable to themselves

 

I agree, FlyingMOm I'd like to see it too

 

i expect the other HS moms i hang around to challange me and hold me accountable. i need good data and BTDT advice and a reality check as i freak out about my 5.5 yo not doing XYZ that some age mate is doing -- but in general our community can prod up on the greatness or let us slide -- i'd perfer to be prodded

[momma aimee]

I'm kind of glad this thread has been resurrected. I'm currently struggling with how to handle snarky comments made directly to my child (while he is at his sport and I am not present) to the effect that we do too much school. He has asked how he should answer "Why do you do so much schoolwork?" and I have no idea what to tell him to say since any answer I could think of would in effect insult the asker's homeschool. I also don't think it's as much a serious question as a hostile comment.

:rant:

Thus far we have been ignoring it, but really.... what inspires a homeschooling parent to make negative statements to another child about his home education, especially to the effect that it is too rigorous?

:rant:

 

Back to this thread... it reminds me that I am not all alone in having high academic standards. :) So thanks for the resurrect.

 

i think I'd be temped TO insult the asker.

 

"because I am capable of this much and more"

 

"becuase you have no idea The what the future holds"

 

"idle hands are the devils hunting ground"

 

"i have to ask, why don't you do more"

Edited June 8, 2011 by momma aimee
typo -- i am not a great speller but i try not to look tooo stupid

[Plucky]

I really don't have time to worry about anyone else's homeschooling but my own. Most all my hs friends are doing a great job from what I see, and I don't question it. I do know one family has older kids doing lower work than mine, but that is only because my kids talked about a certain curriculum we all use and told me. These kids are fabulous and smart. I'd adopt them. Why worry about other people?

[SweetBean]

I'm kind of glad this thread has been resurrected. I'm currently struggling with how to handle snarky comments made directly to my child (while he is at his sport and I am not present) to the effect that we do too much school. He has asked how he should answer "Why do you do so much schoolwork?" and I have no idea what to tell him to say since any answer I could think of would in effect insult the asker's homeschool. I also don't think it's as much a serious question as a hostile comment.

:rant:

Thus far we have been ignoring it, but really.... what inspires a homeschooling parent to make negative statements to another child about his home education, especially to the effect that it is too rigorous?

:rant:

 

Back to this thread... it reminds me that I am not all alone in having high academic standards. :) So thanks for the resurrect.

We have the same issue. It seems that the general public seems to have an opinion of homeschoolers, that we all get our work done in 3 hours. My teens are occupied with school most of the day. We don't have loads of extra time to help you with this or that project. We just don't.

[DawnM]

Where is the OP? I think she isn't even on here anymore.

 

I struggle with this, I really do. My kids don't do nearly the school they *should* be doing.

 

Part of this is because I have allowed my oldest, who has LD issues, to somewhat control the amount of time we spend and then the rest is just plain laziness and not wanting to follow a routine.

 

We ARE stepping it up though. I have made a temporary schedule but need to get it down better.

 

Summer will not be spent doing nothing. We will continue to do light math, vocabulary, merit badge work and reading AND will be adding in writing and spelling as our main Summer Focus (IEW and Apples and Pears.)

 

History and Science and heavy LA will be reserved for Fall.

 

Dawn

[Plucky]

Where is the OP? I think she isn't even on here anymore.

 

I struggle with this, I really do. My kids don't do nearly the school they *should* be doing.

 

Part of this is because I have allowed my oldest, who has LD issues, to somewhat control the amount of time we spend and then the rest is just plain laziness and not wanting to follow a routine.

 

We ARE stepping it up though. I have made a temporary schedule but need to get it down better.

 

Summer will not be spent doing nothing. We will continue to do light math, vocabulary, merit badge work and reading AND will be adding in writing and spelling as our main Summer Focus (IEW and Apples and Pears.)

 

History and Science and heavy LA will be reserved for Fall.

 

Dawn

 

It looks like she quit homeschooling. Looks like she quit 12/2009.

Edited June 8, 2011 by True Blue

[Hillary in KS]

He has asked how he should answer "Why do you do so much schoolwork?" and I have no idea what to tell him to say ....

 

 

"I do it so when I step up to the counter to order my fries from you, I will be able to do so using correct English grammar." :glare:

 

Ok. I wouldn't actually encourage my child to respond this way. But I'd sure think it. :lol:

 

Poor kid.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

I'm kind of glad this thread has been resurrected. I'm currently struggling with how to handle snarky comments made directly to my child (while he is at his sport and I am not present) to the effect that we do too much school. He has asked how he should answer "Why do you do so much schoolwork?" and I have no idea what to tell him to say since any answer I could think of would in effect insult the asker's homeschool. I also don't think it's as much a serious question as a hostile comment.

:rant:

Thus far we have been ignoring it, but really.... what inspires a homeschooling parent to make negative statements to another child about his home education, especially to the effect that it is too rigorous?

:rant:

 

Back to this thread... it reminds me that I am not all alone in having high academic standards. :) So thanks for the resurrect.

 

Possible answer: Because if you love learning it isn't work. ?

[ereks mom]

I don't think you sound awful.

 

I think every family has its own way of handling their homeschooling, but I do think it's important that kids be given the opportunity to learn, and to be academically competitive unless, as you mentioned, there are learning disabilities involved.

 

I also have no problem with people who slow down their schooling due to illness or because they need to help an ailing family member, or for any number of other legitimate reasons. Most of those families will work hard to get back on track as soon as they can.

 

If I'm not mistaken, you're talking about the moms who are too lazy to put forth the necessary effort that's required to homeschool their kids. I've known a few families like that, and the kids were very bright, yet very far behind their peers. It seemed so unfair to the kids. I have to admit that I thought the kids would have been better off in school right from the start, as the moms didn't seem to have what it took to homeschool. (And I'm not claiming to be the best homeschooling mom -- I have self-discipline issues, too, so it's hard work for me to try to stay on schedule.)

 

I am in favor of doing things your own way, but I think that, when the kids are falling way behind, it should be a huge wake-up call to the moms that perhaps they should re-evaluate what they're doing and make some changes, as it seems like it's usually the moms who are the problem when the kids aren't progressing (again, assuming there are no mental, physical, or developmental problems present -- that can be a whole different story!)

 

Cat

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

[ereks mom]

I think that is WILD. I mean, I could have said that when my kids were little (and BOY DID I), but in the past 5 years, I have known a few people who do the bare minimum (usually using something like Penn Foster) and a few more people who do a decent job getting through a curriculum each year. I don't know anyone who gets close to being academically superior. The GREAT MAJORITY of homeschoolers I've met don't do schooling on a regular basis, don't have their children/teens do the work for co-op our other outside classes, and have kids that test many years behind.

 

I think it is absolutely wonderful that there are areas where parents of teenagers can honestly say that they know only one or a couple inadequate homeschools. I wish I could.

 

Unfortunately, it's the same way around here. The vast majority of homeschoolers in my area are doing the barest minimum. They schedule "park day" on school days during school hours. When one of the moms called to invite us along, I asked her, "When do you do school?"

 

Her comment was, "I count everything as school. When we go to the grocery store, that's math. When we play outside, that's p.e." etc...

 

I asked how she justified that since we are required to report attendance each month to the board of education. She said, "I just make up something for the form."

 

We live in a university town, and there are lots of community programs lead by volunteers from the university, and the homeschoolers take advantage of these because they are usually free. EK went to a free weekly Apologia Biology lab last year (taught by a biologist), and a free Apologia Chemistry lab this year (taught by a chemistry professor). The classes were labs only; reading the material, doing the questions, and taking the tests were to be done outside class. And guess what? The ONLY kid in the class whose parents actually required her to do the work was EK. I know this for a fact because I talked to the parents and they told me.

 

I wish I was kidding. People around here don't have a high opinion of homeschoolers because the homeschoolers around here are the ones who can barely read or write.

 

ETA: I just realized that this thread is over 2 years old. But I'm not going to delete my response because I needed to vent about this anyway. :LOL:

Edited June 8, 2011 by ereks mom

[LaxMom]

I have the same cringe-inducing experience. Repeatedly.

 

Yes, we sure do take breaks, but not when we're behind. Yes, there are areas where I see a gap, so we put more effort there. Yes, my six year olds are not reading fluently and I do say "eh, it'll happen" but that does NOT mean we sit back and wait and do something more "fun"; we just keep practicing knowing we shouldn't stress about it.

 

And we do struggle. And we constantly reevaluate our needs and how our current process is meeting those needs... Must be the old software engineer in me because that evaluation process is continuous in all areas of our life.

[angela in ohio]

... we just keep practicing knowing we shouldn't stress about it.

 

This is the key to a great homeschool. :001_smile: Working at it, but not freaking out.

[LaxMom]

This is the key to a great homeschool. :001_smile: Working at it, but not freaking out.

 

Well, I wouldn't say I don't freak out, but I do remind myself, in the words of a wise friend who also homeschools, "this a marathon, not a sprint".

[angela in ohio]

"I do it so when I step up to the counter to order my fries from you, I will be able to do so using correct English grammar." :glare:

 

Ok. I wouldn't actually encourage my child to respond this way. But I'd sure think it. :lol:

 

Poor kid.

 

"Because I will rule you one day... bwhahahahahaha...." :lol:

 

That's my dc's joke answer (among themselves.)

 

In reality, they say, "Because I love learning new things, doin't you?" with a smile.

 

My dc don't get badgered as much as I used to from other homeschoolers (I'm sure I probably posted about that earlier in the thread way back when.) Its either that my dc will turn out to hate us because we worked them so hard, or that they can't be Godly and intelligent. :001_huh: :glare: They always say it with such hope in their voices.... :D

[angela in ohio]

Well, I wouldn't say I don't freak out, but I do remind myself, in the words of a wise friend who also homeschools, "this a marathon, not a sprint".

 

Oh, the random freak-out is certainly expected (just finished one a few weeks ago ;),) but I know some who live in a constant state of panic, running this way and that, worried about what may or may not come to pass. Better to be as you said. :001_smile:

[Jenny in GA]

 

If I'm not mistaken, you're talking about the moms who are too lazy to put forth the necessary effort that's required to homeschool their kids. I've known a few families like that, and the kids were very bright, yet very far behind their peers. It seemed so unfair to the kids. I have to admit that I thought the kids would have been better off in school right from the start, as the moms didn't seem to have what it took to homeschool. (And I'm not claiming to be the best homeschooling mom -- I have self-discipline issues, too, so it's hard work for me to try to stay on schedule.)

Cat

 

This may sound silly, but how do you (or anyone else) define "lazy" and "very far behind"?

 

The OP is right; most homeschoolers seem to suggest "relaxing" and "not worrying about it" and stress things like how important life skills and family relationships and flexibility are when discussing these things.

 

Sometimes I wonder that I'm too lazy. How do I know? What are "signs" of being too lazy and not having what it takes?

[mcconnellboys]

Actually, yes, yes I will mind and I'll come and virtually kick your butt if you miss even one day of school this week - so you come back here and give an account of yourself at the end of it. I think you're right on track for a problem that I've seen here, too (and I know that more of it exists than I even know about). I don't ask many questions of others, 'cause I really don't want to know if they're not doing what they should - even the thought of it makes me cringe....