At what age do you let your children decide how many activites.

[lynn]

DS has been taking guitar and excelling but spring training for footballs starts and it conflicts with guitar of which there are no other class offerings for times that work with our schedule. We want ds to play football because he talks about this a lot and we want him to continue guitar but again the times of available lessons conflict with football. He is 12 1/2 years old if this matters. Do we make this decision for him or let him decide?

[nancypants]

DS has been taking guitar and excelling but spring training for footballs starts and it conflicts with guitar of which there are no other class offerings for times that work with our schedule. We want ds to play football because he talks about this a lot and we want him to continue guitar but again the times of available lessons conflict with football. He is 12 1/2 years old if this matters. Do we make this decision for him or let him decide?

 

I Would let him decide. I would give my personal opinion and reasonings for it (mine would be for guitar) but I would then let him choose.

[Tracey in TX]

Let DS decide. Small, irrelevant decisions are healthy stepping stones for a child to learn to make bigger decisions.

If guitar is important IYO, and he's dying to p[lay football, consider have him practice as if he's taking lessons and put the lessons on hold. Otherwise, switch teachers to accomplish both desires.

Good luck to find a solution,

[StaceyinLA]

I have learned that what I may want for my children may not be what they want for themselves in the long run. If it is not something serious or harmful, I let them make the choice.

[Stacia]

You may be surprised at what he chooses, lol. I'm sure he'll pick what's most interesting to him. And, as others have said, it's a great way for kids to learn decision-making skills.

 

You could help him make a pros/cons list if he's having trouble choosing.

[Unicorn.]

Is the football only one day a week, or is it 5 days a week? If it is more than one day a week, I would tell the coach "sorry, Jr. can't be here on X day, he has guitar" If the coach is not understanding, I wouldn't want him coaching my kid anyway. (dh has coached Jr. High, High School, and College sports- my dh wouldn't have a problem w/ that.)

 

I would review all your options, keeping in mind that missing spring training may or may not affect his playing in the fall. (again, depends on the coach). Then let your ds have a say in what he wants, but ultimately, you are the parent and you get to decide.

[Julie in CA]

If it's choosing between two good things, and I'm fine with it either way, I let the kid decide. I'm going to give you my opinion about which I'd pick though...

I'd let my ds do the football, if that's what he wanted. The guitar can be learned independently, if necessary, and football must be done when the opportunity arises. Also, it's a pretty limited time when a boy can do football, and guitar can be picked back up again at any time in the future when the timing is better. I know the anti-footballers will disagree about whether football is important, but as I've posted before, my ds experienced a *lot* of positives when he played football.

~Julie~