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Been thinking about socialization, and what hs kids will be like in the future


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You know, I almost can't wrap my brain around how *different* my girls lives are from mine. No school. School was the formative experience of my childhood, really. (I kind of think that is sad, now, actually!)

 

It occured to me just how much of my personality and outlook was formed by attending a traditional, instutional school. And actually, a lot of things in my life are a direct result of rebelling against that, LOL, like hsing, my line of work when I worked, etc.

 

And how our society as a whole has been so shaped by the common experience of institutional school for the past 100 years.

 

And how my kids are not getting that.

What does that mean for their future?

How are they different in some fundamental way than I am, having our childhoods shaped so differently?

What will these kids (there are a significant number of hsers these days) be like as adults, as members of society, as leaders?

 

Does it actually make any difference, or is it just an educational method with the end result being an educated child, regardless of delivery method? I used to think so, but the longer I do this, and the more I reflect on my childhood, the vast majority of Americans childhoods, and that great influence of institutional school. And what it would be like for that not to exist! WIll it change the way they think? Influence their lives? Does it matter?

 

What do you think?

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Ds11 and I were talking today about his friends. His best friend is his age. But a man in his late 20's is a close second. In fact, ds told me "I can talk easier to adults." I think some things will even out when they are adults.

 

On the other hand, my dc have cultural references from classical literature as well as classic t.v. There are times when people don't get their allusions to Homer (and we're not talking Homer Simpson)!

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I have ponder this also.

 

My dd does not have a clique of friends, no bullying going on, no one to tell her what to think and how 'things are done'; wow, businesses might be different if run by homeschoolers lol.

 

Seriously though, I wonder if it will matter in the end. The people that I know who were homeschooled are just like me really, and I attended public school my whole educational life. They went to college, got married, had kids, are involved in church and so on. They do seem more open to change, missionary work, leadership roles, and that sort of thing.

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My oldest is in college right now, and he has noticed that he has cultural things in common with his classmates, even though he wasn't at school. For example, they can all sing the Animaniacs theme song LOL. So, it's not like they can't relate at all. Now, if you don't watch TV or allow them to have any popular culture, well, then, I don't know.

 

There is a book called What Mothers Do: Even When It Looks Like Nothing (it's one of my favorites!) and the author discusses something called the "hurdle model." So it's all "let me just jump over this hurdle and then I can relax - winter break, spring break, summer, graduation, MA, whatever. The girl has always been working on something that would end. But motherhood doesn't: it's a day-in, day-out, kind of grind, and the hurdle model doesn't serve it well. Psychologically, it may be better to not develop that sort of model, and since school is the primary thing promoting it, maybe homeschooled girls will have an easier transition to motherhood. Just some thoughts!

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My oldest is in college right now, and he has noticed that he has cultural things in common with his classmates, even though he wasn't at school. For example, they can all sing the Animaniacs theme song LOL. So, it's not like they can't relate at all. Now, if you don't watch TV or allow them to have any popular culture, well, then, I don't know.

 

There is a book called What Mothers Do: Even When It Looks Like Nothing (it's one of my favorites!) and the author discusses something called the "hurdle model." So it's all "let me just jump over this hurdle and then I can relax - winter break, spring break, summer, graduation, MA, whatever. The girl has always been working on something that would end. But motherhood doesn't: it's a day-in, day-out, kind of grind, and the hurdle model doesn't serve it well. Psychologically, it may be better to not develop that sort of model, and since school is the primary thing promoting it, maybe homeschooled girls will have an easier transition to motherhood. Just some thoughts!

 

That is very interesting. I had that mentality for the first 3 years or so of being a mother, and it was frustrating. I will have to be sure not to project that mentality onto my dd.

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Different doesn't always mean bad. In fact, a good deal of the time is means GOOD. I have mourned a few things, but mostly, my kids have an awesome life that I would have loved. Most of the opportunities I mourn most about though have nothing to do with school. INstead, money and personality shapes a lot of it. And again, my kids have some pretty cool opportunities and things I only could have dreamed of.

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Well, since I was homeschooled and so was my husband, many, many years ago... both of us were pulled out of private schools after about fifth grade. He was in Philly. I lived in rural VA.

 

I think it does slightly change your outlook, personality. I think we are both more likely to care less what our peers do/think. We have a reputation for not following the crowd. We are both reasonably close to out families and have good relationships with our parents and siblings. Both of us have many friends of different ages, but our best friends are our own age or have children the same age as ours.

 

I disagree with the poster that said that "homeschooled girls would have an easier transition to motherhood." I think that would depend entirely on whether you had younger siblings. I had none until I was 12.

 

My mom homeschooled me for academic reasons beginning in 1985. She was working on her masters and doctorate during that time and I got to be along for the ride. My parents divorced after I was an adult.

Edited by Old Dominion Heather
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