What do you do when your child complains about the school work?

[blessedmom3]

My 5 1/2 yrs old complains about doing school work almost every time . I am not sure what to do -- if I should take a break from school and just read books ( which he enjoys) or be consistent and make him do what he is supposed to do . At this time , I only focus on Math , Reading and Phonics so there is not even more than 30 min/day . We are doing Horizons 1 and he reads at about 3rd grade level so it wouldn't hurt if we would take a break but I don't want to let him take control and do whatever he wants...

 

How do you manage when your child complains?

[Ravin]

My 5 1/2 yo complains, too. But then, she complains about ANYTHING I ask her to do. I find incentive helps. Usually, "Well, if you don't want to do X now, that's fine, but you're not going online or watching TV until it's done or it's time for mommy to sleep." (I work nights, and for my own rest I allow DD free reign of the TV and computer while I sleep; she's limited to just a few TV channels and websites, and tends to do other "projects" with the TV as background).

 

usually, she'll comply within relatively short order. If not, well, she'll suddenly find lots of creative ways to entertain herself, which is usually fine with me, too. We tend to get more done on my days off, when I'm not planning a long nap.

[laylamcb]

My 5 1/2 yrs old complains about doing school work almost every time . I am not sure what to do -- if I should take a break from school and just read books ( which he enjoys) or be consistent and make him do what he is supposed to do .

 

Why not? If you've got a child who loves to read (and be read to--don't stop reading aloud, even though he can read for himself), feed the love now while you still can. ;) And when you've read until you're hoarse and blood's running out of his ears, send him outside to dig in the mud. Free science curriculum! A 5yo can't do better, IMHO. I really, really DO like to pretend that I'm a classical educator, but honestly, I believe that what a 5yo is "supposed to do" is play.

 

Keep up the good work, Mom! :grouphug:

[MamaSheep]

Maybe it's in the 5 1/2 year-old rule book somewhere. I tried to find my daughter's copy so I could figure out what's going on with her, but I never did. Now she's 6 1/2 and going through a giddily distracted phase that is DRIVING ME CRAZY! But the complaining has eased off a bit.

[Ellie]

My 5 1/2 yrs old complains about doing school work almost every time . I am not sure what to do -- if I should take a break from school and just read books ( which he enjoys) or be consistent and make him do what he is supposed to do . At this time , I only focus on Math , Reading and Phonics so there is not even more than 30 min/day . We are doing Horizons 1 and he reads at about 3rd grade level so it wouldn't hurt if we would take a break but I don't want to let him take control and do whatever he wants...

 

How do you manage when your child complains?

What does a 5½ child *have* to do?? Does he have "control" in other areas of life? If not, then listening to his needs and taking time off from school work is certainly not going let him take control.

[Alana in Canada]

I completely understand where you are coming from.

 

Firstly, he (hopefully) doesn't see this as a power struggle between you. Don't teach him that it can be!

Just get up tomorrow (or Monday, or whenever you've decided) and say, "Hey, You know what, Mommy's decided we're going to read today." Then, when you are done, send him outside. Honest. It's OK.

[Christine]

 

How do you manage when your child complains?

 

Oh, I thought you meant an older child. . .

 

Do you do your work in one chunk of time? If so, I would stop that, do math and take "recess", do reading and then lunch, do phonics and then read out loud.

 

Honestly, I noticed, with my kids, that they just complained. Sometimes it was because I was giving them something to do (and they'd rather come up with their own stuff), and sometimes it was habit. And the fact that it was a habit was truly annoying!

 

And, complaining gets really old; and I'm "the world's meanest Mommy". (Just ask my kids, I'd easily get unanimous votes.:tongue_smilie:)

 

So, for every complaint, I added more work.

 

(My older kids were about 8 / 9 when they truly started complaining though. My younger kids are at the grumbling stage now, but I know that the complaining stage will soon happen.)

 

The complaining stopped.

 

Now, when my older boys complain I look into it; because if they complain now there is a definite problem, like the curriculum isn't working for them, or moving too quickly, or not enough explanation. . .

[Faithr]

Oh my! I would say you are going to have a problem on your hands if you kill the love for learning now at the tender age of 5.5. Math should be fun games to play; reading should be a delight. Phonics should be snuggling on the couch for 5 or 10 minutes with mom learning how these mysterious squiggles on the page work to make words. It should be nothing like drudgery. I think you'll get much, much, much more done if you just let him play and you read to him a lot. The only thing I'd stick to is having him do a little penmanship 3 or 5 minutes several days a week, if he doesn't want to do any writing on his own (but if does, then let that take the place of formal penmanship!).

 

MHO!

[Tabrett]

This is very, very normal. My dd is 5.5yo and does the same thing. Last year she "loved" school. This years she asks everyday, in a complaining voice, "Do I have to do school today? I don't want to do school.". This is asked EVERYDAY. I just say, "Yes, you do because I want you to be smart." and go on with the school day. She also does this with her chore chart. After her chore chart and school, she is allowed free play for the rest of the day. I think he 20 mins of chores and 1.5 hours of school is nothing to the 10 hours of free play she has each day. If she were in public k for 7 hours a day, she would not have such free time! So, I don't believe I'm pushing her too hard by making her do school.

[liltrees]

Why not? If you've got a child who loves to read (and be read to--don't stop reading aloud, even though he can read for himself), feed the love now while you still can. ;) And when you've read until you're hoarse and blood's running out of his ears, send him outside to dig in the mud. Free science curriculum! A 5yo can't do better, IMHO. I really, really DO like to pretend that I'm a classical educator, but honestly, I believe that what a 5yo is "supposed to do" is play.

 

 

:iagree:

[In the Rain]

Why not? If you've got a child who loves to read (and be read to--don't stop reading aloud, even though he can read for himself), feed the love now while you still can. ;) And when you've read until you're hoarse and blood's running out of his ears, send him outside to dig in the mud. Free science curriculum! A 5yo can't do better, IMHO. I really, really DO like to pretend that I'm a classical educator, but honestly, I believe that what a 5yo is "supposed to do" is play.

 

Keep up the good work, Mom! :grouphug:

:iagree:

[calandalsmom]

At 5, I think school should be about spending time with mom doing fun things. So I'd back off if she isnt enjoying it.

 

Now, ask me what i think about my 11 yo who complains about schoolwork??? LOL

 

Actually, my 11 yo hasn't complained lately. I must be doing something wrong. *snicker* Note to self: up the workload on ds 11.

[WTMindy]

Even though five is young, I would still build a routine that is predictable for them. I think that teaching kids that they don't always get to do what they want when they want is every bit as valuable as teaching them math (at that age). So, while they have plenty of time to learn math and other subject, I would NOT wait on teaching them to work when it is time to work. Now, having said that, when my kids were in K, we did tons of reading outloud, short (but predictable) lessons, lots of learning through singing, projects, etc. But, my kids knew that when it was time to work, complaining wouldn't get them out of it. Let them know that everyday there will be x,y, and z, and you expect them to do it without complaining. And then there will also be time to do a, b, and c, which is what they prefer to do.

[Mommy22alyns]

Becca rarely complains, but I just remind her of what she has to do and what she'll get to do when her work is over for the day. Some things don't get done until school is over.

 

We have sticker incentives - she gets a sticker for each day and when she collects five stickers, she gets to choose a treasure from our treasure box. I fill it with things from Dollar Tree or Target's $1 spot - notepads, bracelets, stickers, colored pens, etc.

 

And I'm not above pointing out that she's very lucky to not have to hop on the bus at 7 am and not get home until 3:30-4, and THEN have homework on top of that.

 

I also give her snack and play breaks during her school work too.

[carolyndsg]

For a K student, 5-15 minutes each subject, i.e. Phonics, handwriting or writing-related activity (coloring, lines, art!) and math games is plenty!! Have fun...I was too intense for my ds7 when we did K

[Penelope]

Maybe it's in the 5 1/2 year-old rule book somewhere. I tried to find my daughter's copy so I could figure out what's going on with her, but I never did. Now she's 6 1/2 and going through a giddily distracted phase that is DRIVING ME CRAZY! But the complaining has eased off a bit.

 

Yeah, this. :tongue_smilie:

 

At 5 the only thing I required he sit for was phonics. At 6/7 I have gotten "stricter" but there are still times where we call it a day and just go outside. He is required to do his best when it is school time this year, though. But for kindergarten, I just figured, he was learning to read and learning so much more outside of "school" time, that it wasn't worth struggling over.

[Sahamamama]

Even though five is young, I would still build a routine that is predictable for them. I think that teaching kids that they don't always get to do what they want when they want is every bit as valuable as teaching them math (at that age). So, while they have plenty of time to learn math and other subject, I would NOT wait on teaching them to work when it is time to work. Now, having said that, when my kids were in K, we did tons of reading outloud, short (but predictable) lessons, lots of learning through singing, projects, etc. But, my kids knew that when it was time to work, complaining wouldn't get them out of it. Let them know that everyday there will be x,y, and z, and you expect them to do it without complaining. And then there will also be time to do a, b, and c, which is what they prefer to do.

 

:iagree:There are two sides to this coin. On the one side, what you might call the "Bigger Picture" side, how important is that Horizons math page? Not very. BUT, on the other side of the coin, the "Daily Structure" side, how much is 20-30 minutes, really, out of the 12 or more (mostly "free") waking hours of your young son? Not much. YES, he is young and there is time, so let him explore, play in the mud, etc., etc., BUT... it is NOT going to damage him to do a few short and snappy lessons with his mother 4-5 days a week.

 

FWIW, it might help if you keep the "school time" but vary the approach. For example, you are still "working on math" if you count, skip count, sort objects, draw shapes, build with Legos, play math games, bake, cut pizza into fractions, and work on math fact flash cards. You are still "working on handwriting" if you (together) write a thank you note to someone who gave you a gift. You are still "working on phonics" if you read poems and pick out the rhyming words, look through "I Spy" books for things starting (or ending) with the "sh" sound, or practice old phonics lessons with magnetic letters (let him play a little ;)). My daughter once caught me up short when she said, longingly, "Mommy, do you think that today I could please just play with these letter magnets?" :001_huh: Oh, Sugar Lump, YES!

 

At times we forget how little they really are. Acknowledge his child-ness. And stay on the road to learning. I like Mindy's answer, because I think it's the key for how to balance it out. HTH.

Edited May 1, 2009 by Sahamamama

[Kuovonne]

Even though five is young, I would still build a routine that is predictable for them.

:iagree:

Building the habit of doing what they're told is an important skill - at this age more important than any math or reading skill.

 

Here's one suggestion: Cut the amount of work way back until it is rediculously quick and easy, and insist that it be done with no complaining.

 

After the habit of attending to lessons is built, you can gradually increase the amount of school work, if you want to.

[Alice]

My son is 5 1/2 and complains about school but he's sort of a glass is half empty kind of guy. He complains about lots of things that I know he likes (yesterday it was going to a friend's house...he didn't want to leave home but when we got there he had a blast).

 

I've just learned to read him and know when something is really an issue and when it's just his nature. So, most of the time, I don't give him an option for "school". I know it isn't really something he dislikes because while we are doing it he enjoys it. I think you have to be in tune with your child and know their personality.

 

I do make sure to keep any formal school time short, a max would be 60 minutes and that would only be if we're doing a math game or something he's into. More typical is 30 minutes a day. I try and balance it out so we do one thing that is more challenging for him a day...that might be read a longer story or learn a new concept in math or work on handwriting (which is his least favorite). Everything else we do that day would be review or games or practice of something he knows.