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Have you done Flylady without the shoes-and-sink fetish?


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I was browsing last night - I really need to get the house under control and I liked the way she talks about building habits slowly.

 

I don't want to do the shoe thing (being seen with shoes on indoors here would lead people to assume that I had nasty, unhygienic habits) and the sink..... well, I live in Asia, so I have a housekeeper.

 

What I need is to get into better tidying habits. I'm wondering if I just pick and choose what aspects to do (or even just do it on my own, making my own lists) whether I'm setting myself up for failure. I'm really very lazy and have never been tidy (my mother is worse than I am, so I never learned any kind of routine).

 

Thanks

 

Laura

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Well...I can't stand to have shoes on inside the house..so that was out for me. But the tidying thing...well...when I finish with something I just put it away. My parents drilled me when I was small...everything has a place and it should be in that place. I got rid of the big clutter and kept the things that I love to be surrounded by and trained everyone to pick up after themselves. The kids also know that when Mom's in doubt about something she'll throw it out..it's a great motivator for people picking up after themselves.

 

Oh..and I also play a crazy game of 10 minutes with my little man. In 10 minutes we try to see if we can get everything picked up, put away...it's fun as we put on our favorite jams and set the timer and scurry about. :D

 

I don't know if this is what your asking about...but it sure works here. :)

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I am lazy and untidy, too, as was my mother. I so badly don't want to pass this on to my kids, and I'm feeling the same need to get my house under control. I've tried to start FlyLady a couple times, but I never get past the sink. I did scrub my sink very thoroughly according to her directions (at our last house, where it was stainless steel). It looked great. And I kept it that way for awhile, but I didn't get into any of the other routines. At this house, the sink process didn't work as well. My sink is a different material, and I think it is permanently stained. I was so discouraged when I spent the time trying to clean it and it still looked bad, that I gave up.

 

Anyway, I'm thinking that most people who have used FlyLady successfully say it's really about small steps and routines.

 

I do have a question about your post. Why does living in Asia automatically mean that you have a housekeeper? And what chores does your housekeeper do?

 

I know that getting into a routine of running the dishwasher before going to bed at night, and starting a load of laundry first thing in the morning is helpful to me in keeping the dishes and laundry under control. Establishing a definite day of the week to change and launder bed sheets has ensured it gets done weekly. But I'm still horrible at the tidying up aspect. We have a lot of piles of stuff (mostly paperwork and books). I think my biggest problems are that we don't have enough space to put everything, I'm too indecisive to know whether we should keep something or toss it, and I'm too lazy to put things away right away.

 

I guess I haven't really been much help, except in commiserating. I hope you get some better answers. I'll be watching this thread, too.

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I do have a question about your post. Why does living in Asia automatically mean that you have a housekeeper? And what chores does your housekeeper do?

 

 

The reason that all your toys and clothes are made in Asia is the same reason I can afford a full-time housekeeper. We pay her an absurdly high wage by local standards and it's still very little.

 

She's here eight hours a day. She does all the laundry, dishwashing and cleaning, in addition to some of the shopping. She makes breakfast and lunch, then plays with the kids in the afternoon (informal Chinese class). She's a dab hand at bilingual Monopoly and has the patience of a saint.

 

She doesn't read English, though, and our biggest tidiness problem is books. That has to be my and my boys responsibility.

 

Laura

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And dh does the kitchen, so the sink gets shiny every night without my help.

 

What I did do, though, was make my dresser top the kitchen sink. That is, every day, the first free minute I have, I tidy my dresser top and dust it. My dresser top had become a dumping ground for all sorts of clutter--clothes I'd worn but were still clean, clothes I needed to mend, receipts, knitting, all kinds of stuff, all piled up on my dresser top.

 

When I started the habit of every day, no matter what getting it cleared off, it just made things feel different. And it felt like I was all-around more productive. I totally understand what she was saying about the kitchen sink thing.

 

So, pick something in your house that's a symbol of your untidiness--the hall closet, your shoe rack, your desk, any one thing--and decide that every day, no matter what, that one thing will get put in order. Make it the first thing you get accomplished that day, and/or do not go to bed until that one thing is done.

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So, pick something in your house that's a symbol of your untidiness--the hall closet, your shoe rack, your desk, any one thing--and decide that every day, no matter what, that one thing will get put in order. Make it the first thing you get accomplished that day, and/or do not go to bed until that one thing is done.

 

Maybe our bathroom counter top. I sit and look at it while I'm on the loo, and I find it depressing. I'll go and do that now - the kids are in bed and it's time for my night-time wind down (which includes turning off this infernal, time-wasting beast).

 

Thanks

 

Laura

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For me, the most helpful part is/was building the Control Journal. I set-up routines to help me keep on track (and when I get off track, I go back to it). I will admit the wearing shoes has helped me, but even Flylady talks about those living in Asian cultures not wearing shoes. Regarding the sink, it drove me nuts to constantly wipe out the sink, so I let the sink fetish go.

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I've been starting to build up routines for a few days now and I see them beginning to spread. One of my first things was a 'hot spot' in my homeschooling room: everything gets dumped on the window sill. So I started checking that every evening. I found myself just casually tidying up the sofa that's right next to it. It took no time and it felt..... natural.

 

So I think I'll probably build a control journal day by day, but not sign on for her emails. I may go to her website to see what the zone of the week is, or I might develop my own rotation. It's going to be interesting, because I actually have two houses: a larger apartment in China and a tiny one in Hong Kong. We'll see how I get on between those two places.

 

Thanks

 

Laura

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I try to do Flylady....and most certainly without the shoe-and-sink fetish. I do agree with PariSarah and I picked my 'hot spot' and I struggle mightily with it daily. I get ready everyday up to my shoes. I can be ready to go out the door in a nanosecond ~ just have to put on my shoes. I couldn't make the program work where you clean certain rooms on certain days. It seems all of my house was cluttered every day! How does that happen??

 

I play a game with myself. If I put in a load of laundry and clean a room, then I can play on the computer for 15 or 30 minutes. Then I have to do another load of laundry and clean another room. I get an amazing amount of stuff done, but it is broken up plus I get 'me' time to play. Weird, but it works.

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Just follow the decluttering, organizing aspects of her website. She definitely has great ideas for getting rid of clutter, and for keeping the house in good order. But yeah, her obsession with the sink is a bit over the top.

 

I always wear shoes anyway, so that part doesn't bother me.

Michelle T

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well, I live in Asia, so I have a housekeeper.

 

 

It's one of the benefits too of living in Africa - and one of the luxuries that I'll miss when we emigrate in a few months’ time (if all goes to plan). Our housekeeper comes three days a week and picks up what has been left lying, cleans and does the laundry.

 

In anticipation of our having to pack all we own into a container and also to moving to a smaller place, I've been inspired by Flylady to spend 15 minutes a day decluttering. I tackle one shelf at a time. Whatever I throw out goes directly into a box or bag and then into my car. It doesn't come back into the house and I make a point of dealing with what's in the car whenever we're in town. It has been quite an eye-opener to realize how much unnecessary stuff we have. As I've thrown things out, it has become easier to find a unique, dedicated space for every item in the house. It is therefore easier for the children (and our housekeeper) to know where to put things. It is also a lot easier to keep things tidy when there's less of it!

 

Throwing out books has been the biggest wrench. I still have some stashed away in crates that need sorting. I console myself with the fact that there will be better libraries where we're going. Having said that, though, I have found that there are less books lying about when each has its own place on a shelf. It is obvious to the user where the book has been removed and where it has to be returned. Giving toys a dedicated space has had the same result.

 

Flylady promotes baby steps and routines. Committing to just 15 minutes a day becomes a habit very quickly.

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I do FlyLady/ did FlyLady by following her principles. I was not and am not fastidious about my sink. But following her ideas helped me to change my mindset/paradigm/way of thinking about my house, the work that needs to be done in it, how well it needs to be done, and who can do it.

 

It helped. Oh, here's a link to a blog post I did about the FlyLady: Ode to Flylady

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