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Stories like this really make me wonder about family life

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in other familes.




I mean, how long does it take to find out who lives in a household?


And why would a little girl go out for breakfast at 6:00 am with her uncle? How many uncles awaken their nieces at 6:00 am for breakfast? She was three years old!


And, who would let their daugther go with someone who says something like, "And watch the news?"



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Well, on the surface of your questions - our electrician used to habitually take his granddaughter out for breakfast and then to school (the corner diner in town has closed, so I don't know if he still does), and I have no idea if she lived with them or her parents work a very early shift or what. I never really thought to inquire; he just called a couple of times when he was coming to do work and mentioned that he'd be over after breakfast and school drop-off. (small town, they live about 3 blocks away)


So I wonder if it wasn't unheard of for the uncle, particularly if he was staying there, to go out for breakfast and take her with him if she was up and other family members weren't?


I don't know why it would be difficult to determine whether he lived there, unless the investigating officers hadn't put in their report by the time the news story went out. Telling them to watch the 6:00 news would be weird, though... I mean, doesn't that imply he won't be back? :001_huh:


That's really sad. I wonder what's behind it all.

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The story is so sad and leaves a lot of unanswered questions...


But if my brother wanted to take one of my kids out to breakfast before he went into work, and other circumstances made it make sense, I wouldn't bat an eye. ... Now somehow, I'm betting there were signs in this family that all was not right and stable, but still, an uncle spending time with his nieces and nephews doesn't sound odd necessarily to me. (Which isn't to say it's reasonable with *all* uncles! But I'd trust my brother completely to take good care of my kids...)

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What's odd about going out for breakfast at 6 AM? Lots of people eat breakfast at that time or earlier; when my dd was 3, she was routinely awake at 5 AM and certainly ready for breakfast at 6 AM! I wouldn't think twice about an aunt or uncle wanting to take her for breakfast.


I don't find it strange that the media can't verify where the guy lived; it could mean the police know but haven't informed the media, or it could mean the guy was living with various relatives, going from house to house, making it a little harder to say where he 'lived.' Or it could mean that the police had other issues to address and hadn't even approached that one.


The line about 'watch the news' is certainly bizarre, and I'm hoping it turns out that it wasn't as big of a red flag as it sounds. Perhaps he said it to another kid in the house, young enough to not recognize the meaning? Or he did say it to them, but not in an ominous way?


It sounds awful to us, like the parents were idiots, but there's really very little information in this story. It wouldn't be out of character for my brother to call and tell me "watch the news tonight" and say nothing else! I'd be curious, but I wouldn't think that he was about to go kill someone, kwim?


That statement, if he did say it, does give me pause, but the other two items don't blip on my radar at all.

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I agree with others about the breakfast. The 6 o'clock new thing is odd, but who knows...I mean, I can remember calling my dh and telling him to watch the news that eve, cause my gf and I had spotted a fire, so its possible that they thought he'd witnessed something...too little info to make any sense out of what happened, other than the loss of a child.:angelsad2:


My heart goes out to her parents. :crying:

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We were at my sister's beach condo a couple of weeks ago. My husband's brother took our 4 year old dd out to breakfast one morning so we could sleep in. He might have told us to watch the news the night before because the whole story about the pirates and the captain being held hostage was happening. I can see where an outsider may have been confused about who lived where.


There was nothing strange going on. My DBIL takes my kids to all sorts of things, and had taken my older boys to play golf the day before. He doesn't have kids, and he likes to spend time with mine.


I don't think there is anything alarming about my family life. I love that my kids' uncle loves to spend time with them. In fact, he will probably show up at ds's soccer game today and want to take him to dinner afterwards. And he may mention that we should watch the news.

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He didn't exactly invite her to come along, according to this article, he snatched her in anger and left:




I can see uncles wanting to spend time with family members, and I can see people going out to eat at 6:00 am, though I admit it's early for me as I like sleeping in, and my three year olds were never up that early.


Honestly, the write-up just seemed strange to me. If someone told me to watch the news while taking my daughter out, I would ask why -- what's going to be on the news. And, I would not let someone with a history of drug problems leave my house with my daughter in a raged condition.


And, I think if they were able to get that the guy lives with family members in Passaic, they would know whether those family members include the little girl.


Mendez had been living with family members in Passaic, but it wasn't immediately clear if he and the girl lived in the same residence.


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Actually, this story doesnt seem to have all the facts. I have a friend that lives a few blocks from where this happened. The news stories around there are all saying that the uncle was a crack cocaine addict and the child was taken from the home in anger as retaliation. And the mother went to police after he took her. That's what my friend told me.

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It's common for people living in poverty to bounce around from house to house a lot. I work with some disadvantaged youth and I am always hearing about how this week the uncle is out of jail and living with them, then the next week he has his girlfriend there, then the next week they moved in with the girlfriend's parents.


Also, these same people don't generally care where their kids are. Someone taking a kid out of the house is a good thing. They can call the drug dealer and get high without having that whiny kid around.


Not that all people living in poverty are like this, of course. But I see it more than I would ever like to.


Unfortunately, Social Services has too many cases to help all the kids living in such bad homes They have to devote their resources to the kids who are made to drink 40 oz. bottles of alcohol to get them to pass out (this happened to a kid I know earlier this year). They have to help the kids who are dragging their drunken mother across the floor in an effort to wake her up because they haven't had anything to eat that day (more kids I know). Even in these extremes, there are kids that slip through the cracks.

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