Help me understand my son

[Moxie]

My son just turned 8. Compared to some of his friends and his younger sister (I know I shouldn't compare but I can't help it) he seems really immature.

 

~He still cries a lot when he gets upset.

~He has NO problem pulling down his pants and using the bathroom with the door open no matter how many people are around. We've worked on "close the door" with no success. He just doesn't care.

~He will do things that friends want him to do even if they are things he knows he shouldn't do and that we've told them not to do (he left the yard without telling us last weekend because he thought we would say no).

~He gets really upset when people don't play the way he wants. That usually leads to crying.

 

My DH doesn't think we can trust him enough to let him go to Scout day camp and I tend to agree. The bathroom thing and the way that he will go against his own instincts really scare me. Are we over-reacting and expecting too much? Is there anything we can do to help him mature or do we just keep waiting?

[hsmom]

I would have to say it sounds like a normal boy. They tend to mature slower. Now mine is going to be 13 this year and we have finally mastered the bathroom thing, he still tends to cry a lot, and gets upset when others don't play what he wants. He also plays with kids that are younger a lot, I think that is due to the boys that age are "getting into girls" and he is not.

 

I let him go to a 2 day camp last summer even though I was not too sure on how he would do and he did great. I think it helps them by knowing we are willing to give them a chance at showing us they are getting older and can do things.

 

Now it will be supervised by the scout leaders right? I really don't think it would be too bad, but that is me.

 

Over all he just sound like a boy.

[Impish]

Have you discussed any of this with his pediatrician?

[WTMindy]

Those things don't sound abnormal to me, but I wouldn't let my kids go to camp if I wasn't sure that I could trust them to make good choices.

[Remudamom]

None of mine were like that. I don't think I'd let him go. Too much potential for trouble.

[Sasharowan]

My almost 8yo is like that with the bathroom. The only thing that even makes a dent in that area is his sister screeching at him. She is 9 and gets highly offended if he doesn't close the door. He did scout camp last summer and will go again this summer if the budget allows. They are really good here about keeping track of the kids and they emphasize the buddy system. Talk to your den leader if you think there will be issues. As far as the crying, mine will only break down if we are home with just family, so I don't know about that.

[Peela]

Your son sounds completely normal. Apart from the bathroom thing, my son is the same and he is 13 now.

Yes, it's hard not to compare, but I think its good to remind yourself to accept him as he is. Boys have their own beauty, for all their later maturing :)

My son does Scouts and has done overnight camps for years now (and now much longer ones). I find camps and such actually help him to learn socially acceptable behaviour. You don't leave the toilet door open once other kids tease you for it, or a leader tells you to close it.

[Rosy]

My son is like that too...I like for him to have experiences away from me/home--it reinforces what I teach him about acceptable behavior (if the adults involved are on the same page as I am, which I usually try to determine ahead of time).

[Brindee]

My ds15 was like that too! It's good to hear others say that's normal! :) He's been WAY slower to mature than our oldest ds! He's doing much better at this age--doesn't cry anymore........which is a good thing, since he's over 6 feet tall now! :D

 

He's only 8, I'm thinking you can give him a few years and he'll mature fine. Some are just slower at it than others! Best wishes!