6yo b'day party help

[Aubrey]

Dd is about to turn 6, & she told me she wants a fairy party, but didn't mention any friends, which is fine. There aren't that many girls here (her age), although there are plenty of kids over all.

 

Tonight, though, she mentioned wanting her friends there. She listed 3 girls from the apts we were living in 2 mos ago. Two of them are 9, one is 2. This would be *wonderful,* except one of the 9yos...likes to...pick someone to pick on, if that makes sense. She was relatively nice to dd until the other 9yo moved in. The other girl also seems nice enough, but together...well... you know how girls can be.

 

Dd is enough younger that she never noticed being snubbed, but it got bad enough before we moved that I quit letting her go out to play when 9yo #1 was out, if that makes sense. Never told dd my reasons, just had the dc busy at that time of day. Partly, she'd begun calling 9yo her "best friend" because she was basically the only other girl in the apt complex. (9yo #2 moved in later & hs's on a diff schedule than us, lived kind of a ways down the complex, etc.; #1 was ps, 2 doors down)

 

If we were having a party w/ 6-10 little girls coming over for 2 hrs, the 3 girls listed above would be fine as is. But w/ *just* those 3? I don't like it. Kwim?

 

We've met some girls dd's age in the neighborhood since moving, but *just* met, kwim?

 

Fwiw, I've told dd we can make fairy cakes together & that I'll paint her nails. She's asked if she can try on my jewelry (lol) & draw pictures & scrapbook w/ me. So I think we could possibly pull off a mother-daughter thing, if y'all could just help me spin it.

 

Dd1 turns 2 right after dd5 turns 6, so we can do a double birthday if that's helpful or split them up, if that's better. Mostly, I just want to protect dd to an appropriate extent. She's one of the most gentle-hearted, generous, bright-spirited people I've ever known.

[buddhabelly]

We've met some girls dd's age in the neighborhood since moving, but *just* met, kwim?

 

 

If the girls in the new neighborhood seem nice, I vote for asking two of them to come over and have a fairy party with your daughter. Tell them no presents are necessary.

 

If you really don't feel comfortable doing that, the mother/daughter thing sounds fun. (Is dh available to amuse the other children so it really will be a mother/daughter thing?)

 

Have fun,

 

Julie

[chiguirre]

We've only ever done family parties because I just can't organize a party and supervize ds9 at the same time. We do go all out to either buy or make a special cake that the b-day person gets to pick. I buy paper plates, hats and noisemakers and we all wear them. We make a big deal of turning off the lights, lighting the candles and singing En esta noche tan bonita and Happy Birthday. I get the kids a couple of nice toys to unwrap. I haven't had any complaints yet, even though dd and ds8 have been to larger, lots of kids style birthday parties.

 

When dd turned 6 in March, I got her a Barbie Thumbelina dress and doll that matched. She loves matching sets and Target had a whole bunch of Thumbelina stuff. I think they also carry Tinker Bell and friends and Barbie fairies so you should be able to find something both your dd and you like.

[snickelfritz]

It's fine to say family only. We do that some, too.

 

However, it sounds like you're open to having friends. So, you know if she will be disappointed if there aren't any..........

 

I would vote for inviting a couple of girls from the new neighborhood. Maybe call and talk personally to the moms. Tell them no gifts, but it's partly a way for the girls to get to know each other better. That gets rid of the "why did they invite us, we hardly know them." Maybe you could still do a fairy "tea." Or make it mother/daughter if the parents wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the girls, just yet. Decorate some cupcakes with glittery frosting, etc.... very low key and inexpensive. Make a glittery fairy craft or fairy wand, etc... You could even invite them to come dressed in their favorite princess/fairy/dress up. Give them lots of opportunity to get to know each other and maybe opportunity for you to get to know the mom's.

 

If you really don't think she would care, I would say it's your call. The mother/daughter date sounds fun.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

3 girls of any age is a bad bad combo. We talk to my dd all the time about how she needs to be careful in groups of 3 that she's not leaving anyone out. Dd really tries hard to be a good friend and not to hurt people's feelings- but it still happens. Whenever I get stuck with 3 girls here, I strongly suggest jump rope. That way two are turning and one is jumping.

 

Tween girls are strange animals also, searching to find where they fit in. Right about 10 years old, you see leaders start to emerge and groups form. 6 year olds are generally happy go lucky creatures and are usually oblivious to this. I would venture a guess that 9 yo #1 was trying to assert herself as leader over 9yo #2, and your dd got used as tool in that mission. If girls don't have a whole lot of guidance from mom or other strong women, they can turn mean mean mean at that age.

 

We are having the opposite problem planning dd's b-day. Last year, we had it at Justice for Girls and it had to be a small party because of the venue. Dd just invited her really really good friends, we ended up with 8 girls, and that worked well. Dd has been to 11 birthday parties just since January. Plus, when one of the dance team girls has a party, they generally invite the whole team. Places around here usually do party packages for 10-15 kids, with you paying for each additional kid.

 

One thing I've considered if I want to be lazy and get out of doing a huge party is to tell dd to pick one friend and take them either to the amusement park, water park, or for a day of girly fun like pedicures and such. This could be an option for you.

 

Overall though, I vote for trying to get your dd to stick her neck out a bit and invite some of the neighborhood girls for a party so she can get to know them. Sure, not all of them are going to be perfect kids, but you're a good mom and fully capable of teaching your dd to handle the complexities of girl world.

[Aubrey]

It's fine to say family only. We do that some, too.

 

However, it sounds like you're open to having friends. So, you know if she will be disappointed if there aren't any..........

 

I would vote for inviting a couple of girls from the new neighborhood. Maybe call and talk personally to the moms. Tell them no gifts, but it's partly a way for the girls to get to know each other better. That gets rid of the "why did they invite us, we hardly know them." Maybe you could still do a fairy "tea." Or make it mother/daughter if the parents wouldn't feel comfortable leaving the girls, just yet. Decorate some cupcakes with glittery frosting, etc.... very low key and inexpensive. Make a glittery fairy craft or fairy wand, etc... You could even invite them to come dressed in their favorite princess/fairy/dress up. Give them lots of opportunity to get to know each other and maybe opportunity for you to get to know the mom's.

 

If you really don't think she would care, I would say it's your call. The mother/daughter date sounds fun.

 

Saying no gifts takes the awkward factor out--I hadn't even thought about gifts. But I can't remember any of the daughters' names, only one of the mom's, & I don't have phone numbers. One family lives in the gray house, one is on campus on Thursdays, & one lives in the house w/ the connected yards.

 

See what I mean? I think it would be really weird. Maybe it's just me. I love your idea, though. I wish there was a way to postpone dd's bday.

[Jan in SC]

You could ask the two nine year olds in a way that lets them know that you really appreciate them giving up some time to dote on your daughter for her birthday. Sort of.. I know she is really young for you two, but you were her birthday wish and I would love it if you could work together and make her feel special!

 

You could even let them give her a sparkly make-over. Maybe include them in some planning as a team that must work together.

[oliveview]

Our kids don't have a large circle of friends. Often, the kids that they are in various activities with are ones that I really don't want to have over for a party. They always ask to have friends at their parties, and I have never said no. What I do is similar to what you are doing with your daughter. I offer them a "party" or "something else". The "something else" depends upon the child and the year.

 

This March when our 6 yo ds turned 7, he wanted a lot of friends at a party. We came up with plans for a party, just like what he wanted, then I presented him an alternative plan. He could have either, but not both. He loves rocks and I told him we could have a "rock adventure" as a family. He would have cake and a present or two and a friend if he wanted on his birthday, and then as a family we would go to several "rock" destinations over a weekend that he had been wanting to go to. He chose the "rock adventure" and we will be going to Rock City and Ruby Falls, as well as a museum. These were on my list of places to go this year so it all works out.

 

FWIW, last year he chose to have a military party. He only had a couple of friends so I just made sure there were lots of things to do to make it special. The year year before, he was turning 5, we did a swamp trip. We live near the Okefenokee and we did that instead of a big party.

 

So, I would try to sell her on something special and see if the party is really what she wants or if she would rather spend the day as a fairy. First, talk to her and find out what kind of fairy she is talking about (seasonal, color, flower). You could start the day off with a special breakfast. Get some edible glitter and sprinkle it on her food so it looks fairy-ish. Do her hair and nails, like you said, and then put that sparkle stuff in her hair and on her body. Faries have to sparkle! Do it early so she can be a fairy all day. Make sure she has a fairy costume she can wear all day. Have a fairy "bower". If you don't have one, then use something you already have like a tent or sheet. You want her to be able to have a tea outside in the afternoon. Tule or mosquito netting are both cheap if you don't like what you already have. Do a couple of craft projects through the day. You could make fairy tiaras with strips of tule or a silky fabric. I would cut the proper lengths and then let her tie them onto a simple head piece you get at the craft store. Buy her a pink rose and pull the petals off so she can have a rose petal bath. There are just lots of fun fairy things you could do! The trick is to sell her on the idea and then follow through with a memorable day.

[Penelope]

Our kids don't have a large circle of friends. Often, the kids that they are in various activities with are ones that I really don't want to have over for a party. They always ask to have friends at their parties, and I have never said no. What I do is similar to what you are doing with your daughter. I offer them a "party" or "something else". The "something else" depends upon the child and the year.

 

This March when our 6 yo ds turned 7, he wanted a lot of friends at a party. We came up with plans for a party, just like what he wanted, then I presented him an alternative plan. He could have either, but not both. He loves rocks and I told him we could have a "rock adventure" as a family. He would have cake and a present or two and a friend if he wanted on his birthday, and then as a family we would go to several "rock" destinations over a weekend that he had been wanting to go to. He chose the "rock adventure" and we will be going to Rock City and Ruby Falls, as well as a museum. These were on my list of places to go this year so it all works out.

 

FWIW, last year he chose to have a military party. He only had a couple of friends so I just made sure there were lots of things to do to make it special. The year year before, he was turning 5, we did a swamp trip. We live near the Okefenokee and we did that instead of a big party.

 

So, I would try to sell her on something special and see if the party is really what she wants or if she would rather spend the day as a fairy. First, talk to her and find out what kind of fairy she is talking about (seasonal, color, flower). You could start the day off with a special breakfast. Get some edible glitter and sprinkle it on her food so it looks fairy-ish. Do her hair and nails, like you said, and then put that sparkle stuff in her hair and on her body. Faries have to sparkle! Do it early so she can be a fairy all day. Make sure she has a fairy costume she can wear all day. Have a fairy "bower". If you don't have one, then use something you already have like a tent or sheet. You want her to be able to have a tea outside in the afternoon. Tule or mosquito netting are both cheap if you don't like what you already have. Do a couple of craft projects through the day. You could make fairy tiaras with strips of tule or a silky fabric. I would cut the proper lengths and then let her tie them onto a simple head piece you get at the craft store. Buy her a pink rose and pull the petals off so she can have a rose petal bath. There are just lots of fun fairy things you could do! The trick is to sell her on the idea and then follow through with a memorable day.

 

:iagree: This is similar to what we do. In your situation, I might invite the 3 girls dd requested plus the kids in your new neighborhood... but since you feel awkward doing that, and aren't sure the new girls would show up, I'd try the above.

[Mommy22alyns]

Becca just turned 6 in March, and she's very into the fairy thing too. :001_smile: If you can swing a mother-daughter day with baking and dress-up, I bet your DD would love it. Would she like her little sister to join in, or would she prefer the one on one time? Take her cue on that.