Does anyone have/have had an au pair?

[Renthead Mommy]

Has anyone had an au pair? Now that we are moving back to just outside the city, I've started thinking about it. We had many neighbors that had them when I was living there in high school and college. They are easy to find in that area as so many of them want to be close to NYC.

 

I don't need or want a full time nanny, and I don't need a maid, but it would be nice to have someone around for an hour or two in the morning so I could run to the gym or run errands. And it would be nice to have a little extra help with the house. But the main thing is my son is just so into languages.

 

He picks things up quickly and his instructors have said his accent is excellent. We had to drop out of Japanese because he was too young to work it on his own, and I just couldn't keep up to help him. He is loving the spanish he's taking now, and he even picked up a few things from our tour guides in Chinese. And while I was planning on doing Spanish again next year, now he's telling me he want's to learn french as well! So now I'm thinking an au pair would be a good choice to help that out, as well as a back up babysitter.

 

So can I hear about people's au pair experiences?

 

Thanks.

[Alice]

I haven't had one personally but several of the docs at work do and I hear their stories. :) The downsides have been that it's someone new every year so there isn't really a continuity. And they have had some who were really nuttty...for example, one girl tried to take the kids on a field trip, got lost and took them to the NRA headquarters instead. (Not trying to start a debate on guns but for this family this was not ok and the au pair knew that.) Lots of other examples about unreliability. I think most of them are young and some of the issues were what you'd expect with a young college student.

 

On the plus side, they have said some of them are wonderful and it's been a great opportunity for their kids to meet new people from different cultures.

 

My friends are using them as more of a full time nanny and usually for young kids....so the cons might not be as big a deal for you. You'd be around and I could see the benefits if you want the language help.

[Liza Q]

My sister has an au pair - Maria - from Brazil and she is just the most wonderful person! She is 22, takes care of my nieces/nephew about 35 hours a week and takes a class or two at a local college. Since my sister lives in Queens Maria has really taken advantage of NYC and is having a great time here!

 

We are all so sad that she is going home in July.

 

ETA: My sister has not had Maria teach the children Portuguese but I can see that it would have been ideal if that had been what she wanted.

Edited April 17, 2009 by Liza Q

[Lux Et Veritas Academy]

I had one for a summer- I just found myself leaving my kids more and more as the weeks went on. So it depends what you are really getting one for. I think a little help is great, but don't let it distract from your purpose of motherhood, which it can easily do.

[Liza Q]

I wanted to add that my sister and bil both work full time. Their hours are a little different, though, so the au pair is only with the children 6-7 hours a day.

 

I know that my sister pays a lot for Maria. Less than she would for day care, but more than she would want to for babysitting a few hours a day. So you should price it out!

[Stacy in NJ]

I worked as a nanny for two years while attending college in NYC. I lived with the family and, basically, provided before and after school care, as well as, some weekend evenings.

 

I used an agency to get my job and knew and socialized with many of the other nannies and au pairs in my area.

 

The girls from other countries tended to come from scandinavia and usually only for one year. They were also quite young, 18 & 19. Some of them seemed responsible and great with kids; others seemed only interested in partying.

 

I think it's a bit of a crap shoot. I would recommend very careful interviewing to try to weed out the party girls. They'll also need a guest room or comparable space in your home.

[Catwoman]

It sounds like you're looking for part-time babysitter/light household help, not an au pair. Au pairs are usually looking for full-time, live-in work.

 

Personally, if I wanted my ds to learn another language from a native speaker, I'd hire a tutor. If your sitter speaks another language, how will you know that she speaks it correctly? (Think of everyone you know, and then think about how many of them you'd allow to teach your child to speak English! Some people have terrible grammar skills, speak mainly in slang, etc.)

 

If you only need part-time help, I'd suggest asking around the neighborhood for references. You can't be too careful about who you allow access to your kids when you're not around.

 

Cat

[Friederike in Persia]

It would be great exosure for your son, but as others have said before me, the trick is to pick the right one.

When I was 16 I really wanted to go overseas ( I'm German), but my parents were concerned where I would end up. So I managed to find a family via a friend and with that friend's recommendation my parents were fine and I had a great time in CA for half a year.

My point being, do you know anybody from Mexico, Spain, France, Japan,...whichever language he's most interested in? In that case you might be able to arrange something personally, with recommendations that are reliable. So many people would love to learn English in the US.

I could send you 30 Tajiks, but I don't think that's on his wishlist :D.

[Renthead Mommy]

It would be great exosure for your son, but as others have said before me, the trick is to pick the right one.

When I was 16 I really wanted to go overseas ( I'm German), but my parents were concerned where I would end up. So I managed to find a family via a friend and with that friend's recommendation my parents were fine and I had a great time in CA for half a year.

My point being, do you know anybody from Mexico, Spain, France, Japan,...whichever language he's most interested in? In that case you might be able to arrange something personally, with recommendations that are reliable. So many people would love to learn English in the US.

I could send you 30 Tajiks, but I don't think that's on his wishlist :D.

 

Thanks for the offer, but luckily he hasn't come up with that one yet! :lol:

 

The exposure is exactly what I'm looking for. I worked as a nanny during college, both part time and full time and knew au pairs that were there to be full time babysitters and other that were just there for the exposure factor.

 

I wish we did know someone to just come and stay a while. A good friend of our did just that. The daughter of friends of friends of theirs came over from Beligum for a long summer and it was great for both of them. I would like to do something like that, I'll have to start asking around.

 

Thanks everyone.

[Stacy in NJ]

If you're more interested in the language aspect, how about an exchange student instead?

[joannqn]

If you're more interested in the language aspect, how about an exchange student instead?

 

That's what I was going to suggest. You can find exchange students who stay for anything from a couple of weeks to an entire school year.

[Renthead Mommy]

That's what I was going to suggest. You can find exchange students who stay for anything from a couple of weeks to an entire school year.

 

 

I thought about an exchange student, but aren't they usually high school students? Living right outside NYC I don't really want to deal with a 16 year old wanting to do NYC, and I don't really want to parent a teenager either. Especially there. I remember being 16 and just outside the city. I don't want to have to think about having to take care of someone else's kid when I'm sure they are doing what I used to do. I've already come to realize the NYC I hung out in is not he NYC I'll be taking my 7yo to! (I actually had to buy a tourist with kids type book for NYC!)

 

College aged exchange students I could handle no problem. So do you do exchange programs when you are in college? That is certainly something to consider.

 

Thanks.

[TeacherZee]

Lots of college students do exchange programs. It is incredibly common. Contact one of the local colleges and ask them. I know college students would probably love to come and play/interact/talk to your child. You need to be aware of their visa conditions if you intend to pay them. One idea might be to simply offer them dinner and/or lunch the day they come and maybe invite them to some typical American things during the year. They might not get much contact with people outside the college bubble and would welcome it.

[Kate in Arabia]

I thought about an exchange student, but aren't they usually high school students?

I was an exchange student in univ, I lived with a family in Austria for six weeks. For me it was fantastic; because my host family knew very little English my German improved dramatically.

 

At my university there was an office of international programs, they handled all the exchanges -- and there were (are) a *lot*. I would start by calling there.

[Friederike in Persia]

I thought about an exchange student, but aren't they usually high school students? Living right outside NYC I don't really want to deal with a 16 year old wanting to do NYC, and I don't really want to parent a teenager either. Especially there. I remember being 16 and just outside the city. I don't want to have to think about having to take care of someone else's kid when I'm sure they are doing what I used to do. I've already come to realize the NYC I hung out in is not he NYC I'll be taking my 7yo to! (I actually had to buy a tourist with kids type book for NYC!)

 

 

 

Thanks.

 

:iagree: I was a very mature sixteen year old exchange student, but I was still 16 and needed to be helped to figure stuff out, get taken to places,....from what I've read that's NOT what you're looking for.