It is so hard to raise extroverted children when you are painfully introverted.

[KidsHappen]

Generally speaking, Easter is a family holiday in our house. It is usually reserved for family dinner and then games or crafts or whatever. My hubby had to fly out today though and all the teens are gone to other relatives for the holiday so I let my children play with the neighborhood kids this afternoon. Their normal curfew is 5:30 or 6:00 depending on when dinner is, what the homework load is, what are plans are, etc. Tonight, I let them stay out until 6:00. When they came in they were in tears because two of the neighbor families are having dinner together and we weren't invited. The neighbor kids told them it was because the parents don't know me very well. My kids said it's because I don't like people. I do like people and I do know the parents. I am on a very friendly basis with them and I would do just about anything to help them out. I am just not comfortable socializing to the extent they are. I am fine with this, however, it breaks my kids heart. They want Ms. Social Suzy for a mom.

 

I already make serious efforts on their behalf in this regard. The 6th grader goes to school and goes to church with one of the neighbors. They go to social activities. They participate in team sports. The neighbor kids are at my house every day. I bake for the neighbors and do favors for them. I talk to them everytime I see them. I just don't know how much more stretching I can do.

 

And then I wonder, even if I wanted to socialize, when would I fit it in? I am a busy woman. Homeschooling and homemaking are both full time jobs. ANd then I have physical therapy and chiro and dr. appts. I have exercises and walking. I barely fit it in now. Plus all the little things that add up to lots of time - the dog lately.

 

And my 6th grade dd is busy too. She is allowed to play from 3:00 to 5:30 or 6:00 when she comes in for dinner. That leaves about 4 hours in the evening. She has at least 1 hour of homework every evening, one hour of independent reading and then an hour to shower, brush her teeth and hair, pick out her clothes for the next day, pack her backpack and lunch. That leaves one hour for computer, movies, games and any other family time or activities. Plus we have to squeeze in sports and church and sometimes other social activities on school nights.

 

It seems like our lives are already full and yet they want to do more with the neighbors. Don't the neighbors have lives too? How is it they always have time to socialize? Do they just make it a priority over other things? Why can't I have either introverted kids or introverted neighbors? :tongue_smilie:

[Sophia]

I feel your pain.

Dh and my three older dc are serious extroverts.

I have to come out of my shell all the time to accommodate them and often left drained and exhausted by weeks end!

Recently, with spring events and all, socializing has kicked into overdrive and I finally put my foot down and said enough.

I told all four of them that I should not be the only one to be flexible, but they need to be understanding of my need for downtime too.

We're a family and we all need to be understanding of each other. If we don't see other people on a Friday night...it's OK!!

Honestly, I worry my older dc are going to think life is one big party and mope around until the next social event.

Balance, you extroverts, we need balance....and quiet:D

[mcconnellboys]

Oh, I share your pain! My life has been very much this way since my older, extremely extroverted son hit about age 11. They just have to understand that you are who you are and while you will make some efforts to be more extroverted for them, it just may not be possible for you to turn yourself into a social butterfly. There are lots of folks just like us in the world; just as many as there are extroverts, I'd wager. I'm not sure how to make them understand, except with time, sorry....