momofkhm Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 DH and I decided that our kids should do a triathlon - it's short! But I ahve to take the kids swimming. I had dh take ds swimming this weekend so he knows how to go through the locker room to the pool and where to find everything in there. Basically "this is the locker room" since I can't go in there. But now I'm wondering if this is a good idea. If I'm at the door and I hear him screaming I will rush in and see what is going on, but I was planning on taking a shower myself so I won't even hear if he screams. I figure I have a few options: (1) no one showers at the pool, we all wait until we get home. (2) the girls and I take turns showering and listening at the door, but I know the girls won't run in there if they hear anything. (3) the kids shower there, I shower at home or after everyone is sitting outside the locker room. Or you can just tell me that I am being overly cautious and nothing will happen. Probably nothing will. We will go at an off time anyway - like 1:30/2 pm. Too late for lunch hour swimming but too early for after school swimming. Thoughts? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Is there a good reason option 1 won't work? Seems like a workable solution to me. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.J. at J.A. Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Our community center has a family locker room...are you sure that's not available? Blessings, Angela Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 What kind of facility is this? Is there any reason to believe that dangerous people would be lurking? If DH is not worried about what he saw in the locker room then I wouldn't worry about it any more, unless this was a community hotspot for homeless men to take showers or something. If it really bugs you, everyone can shower at home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ciyates Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 My son is on a huge swim team. Most of the parents of younger kids have their kids come up to the bleachers and put clothes on over their suits and go home and shower. That is what we did when he was younger. Now that he is 13 he has decided that swimming is as good as showering (I have actually heard him say But MOM it has chlorine in it!). I don't think you are being overly protective. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrixieB Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 Our pool has a family changing room. It also has the rule that children must use the locker room specific to their gender at age 7 and up. If you'd prefer that your son not use the locker room by himself and no family changing room is available, then your option 1 is your best bet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mesa Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 I we are all swimming my 8 yr old son goes into the womens locker room with me. I go in first to make sure there isnt any nekkid women in there.. then we all go in together. If it's just him swimming (swim team( then he just dries off a bit and puts his clothes on over his jammers and showers at home. He started doing this himself, and prefers it to changing and showing at the pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 (edited) My little bro [on the phone w/ me right now] has some advice: "If the mom is hot, there will be no objections to her accompanying the 8yo into the men's locker room." :D I would vote for #1 or taking them in w/ me like Tired Mama does :) Edited April 13, 2009 by Peek a Boo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSDCY Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 My 9yo went to the shower/locker room at the swimming facility once and decided he wanted to wait until we get home to shower. It suits me just fine even though it's a 20-25 minutes drive. I think it's not only safer but also cleaner to shower at home:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 My little bro [on the phone w/ me right now] has some advice:"If the mom is hot, there will be no objections to her accompanying the 8yo into the men's locker room." :D Do we have the same brother? :lol: I would DEFINITELY wait until you get home. The pool near us will NOT ALLOW me to bring my ds in the women's locker room past age 6. There is no family locker room. My ds is NOT showering in a men's locker room without my dh available. So we have no other options. NEVER BELIEVE that "nothing bad" will happen in these places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 A few ideas.... Do they have a rinse off shower outside the locker room? If so, have him rinse off the pool water, dry off and take a full shower when he gets home. You can also ask the lifeguard about their recommendations. They usually have a pretty good feel of the safety of the locker room. One problems lies in the design of the locker rooms. If you are at a more expensive club that you have to be a member to get in and has security in place, I would feel a tiny bit more secure, just because it keeps out 'some' unsavory people (knowing full well anything can happen anywhere). If you are at a community pool that the locker room is open to the public or to people who are using other parts of the center....I would be very cautious. If people have full autonomy in a situation, I think it would be more likely to take a risk, than at a club that requires ID and has video camera in hallways. I haven't been to a pool in our area that doesn't have a family locker room. It isn't always obvious, so if you don't see one, you may want to ask. If you do allow him to go, you may have him 'buddy' with a friend, especially one who is a little older, to give him and you some security. You can wait outside the shower for him and the girls, listen for any yelps, and then once he is done, have all the kids wait together for you to shower or just dry off and finish up yourself after you are home. Is he old enough to stay in the pool alone with the lifeguard? Maybe you and the girls can get out early, shower, and then once you are done, he will be able to shower with you listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 I can stand at the exit to the men's shower room and hear everything. The one time this came up, I just called to him now and then and had him give me running chatter on what he was doing at that moment. I have a hard time believing someone would molest a shouting child whose mother is 25 feet away. There were no other exits, besides a fire alarm door, or back out to the pool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted April 12, 2009 Share Posted April 12, 2009 We had to switch pools because of this situation, except that I couldn't even trust the boys to just walk through the men's locker room to the pool without getting into mischief (they're both autistic). There was no neutral entrance to the pool. Now that they're older, we might be able to try the Y again, but I'm very annoyed that a supposedly family and special needs friendly organization won't address this problem. Sorry, this is one of my big personal peeves! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momofkhm Posted April 13, 2009 Author Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think we'll do the shower at home to start anyway. To answer a few questions: I haven't seen a family room but I haven't looked either. It never occurred to me. DH and I go early mornings so it just makes sense for a women's and a men's. I have no reason to fear anything but it's just the fear associated with raising kids. I have friends who won't let their sons do anything out of their sight. Then I have friends who let their sons do everything! It's a public facility in that anyone can go. BUT I'd be surprised if homeless were going to shower there. It's not free and you kind of have to know where it is to find it. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 I think we'll do the shower at home to start anyway. To answer a few questions: I haven't seen a family room but I haven't looked either. It never occurred to me. DH and I go early mornings so it just makes sense for a women's and a men's. I have no reason to fear anything but it's just the fear associated with raising kids. I have friends who won't let their sons do anything out of their sight. Then I have friends who let their sons do everything! It's a public facility in that anyone can go. BUT I'd be surprised if homeless were going to shower there. It's not free and you kind of have to know where it is to find it. Cheryl If they don't have anything like a family room in place, feel free to print this thread and ask if they would consider it. many stores are implementing family restrooms too because of this [i've seen them at Target and SAM's]. PS: people don't have to be poor or homeless to be psychopathic wackos who like to hurt children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 If they don't offer a 'family room' - I'd take him right into the girls with me. He's a little eight year old boy - not a teenager. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 and all the facilities in my area do not permit children that age of the opposite sex in locker rooms. Do you have your 8yob walk in the bathroom at home? I think 8 is too old to being seeing unclothed and partially clothed persons of the opposite sex. Taking a child that age in the locker room and forcing the adult woman who use the facility to wait is inappropriate. I vote for going home to shower. That is if your facility has no family dressing room. Most do now. And in many facilities the family dressing area is also the access for persons with disabilities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Wisc Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 He talks to you all the while he walks through the shower room. He can get dressed with a Blue Tooth in his ear. Jean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 and all the facilities in my area do not permit children that age of the opposite sex in locker rooms. Do you have your 8yob walk in the bathroom at home? I think 8 is too old to being seeing unclothed and partially clothed persons of the opposite sex. Taking a child that age in the locker room and forcing the adult woman who use the facility to wait is inappropriate. Maybe locker rooms are different in different places - the ones at the pool we used to go to (we've moved since, haven't seen the ones here yet), nobody was unclothed outside of the change booths (well, with the exception of the odd little energetic toddler running about with a bare butt, being chased by a Mum LOL)....people came out of the pool, rinsed off under the shower things (you'd sometimes see someone washing their hair, but nobody was ever actually *showering* like they would in the privacy of their own home, naked and whatever.. )...and then went into a change booth/cubby thing to change their clothes... {Our ds10 comes into the ladies or family rooms (depending what a pool has) with me and always will, but I know we're in a different situation because it's disability-related. He needs 1-1 assistance, direction, sighted guide, etc. We haven't run into any problems anywhere, but I suppose the fact that his disabilities are extremely evident and the fact that he only looks about 4 or 5 years old has played a role in that. } Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele B Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My husband prosecutes for Family and Children Services. He used to prosecute s@x crimes in the DA's office. He says send NO little boys to the mens' locker room! We have a really nice facility in a small southern town. I feel like it is a really safe place, but I cringe when I see little boys go in there and their mothers' waiting outside the door. Why risk it? Take everyone home! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele B Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 And as for an 8-year old in the womens' locker room - no! My 8-year old and her friends would not like that! Towels slip, girls are silly, and old women do not cover up well! Let me repeat: the old ladies in the locker room, do NOT cover up well! :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Maybe locker rooms are different in different places - the ones at the pool we used to go to (we've moved since, haven't seen the ones here yet), nobody was unclothed outside of the change booths (well, with the exception of the odd little energetic toddler running about with a bare butt, being chased by a Mum LOL)....people came out of the pool, rinsed off under the shower things (you'd sometimes see someone washing their hair, but nobody was ever actually *showering* like they would in the privacy of their own home, naked and whatever.. )...and then went into a change booth/cubby thing to change their clothes... {Our ds10 comes into the ladies or family rooms (depending what a pool has) with me and always will, but I know we're in a different situation because it's disability-related. He needs 1-1 assistance, direction, sighted guide, etc. We haven't run into any problems anywhere, but I suppose the fact that his disabilities are extremely evident and the fact that he only looks about 4 or 5 years old has played a role in that. } I don't know about the OP's but we have been to several pools that didn't have privacy screens and everyone was out in the open. The only privacy was the few small bathroom stalls. Private clubs offer changing areas here, but most community pool locker rooms are very open, with shower heads lined up on the wall. Some do shower with a suit on, but many women and girls are in various stages of undress in the open areas. I agree that an 8yo is not welcome in most opposite sexed locker rooms here. It is a hard age, where they are in between being too big for the opposite sex and too young to be alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele B Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 Sorry, my brain is not working today!:tongue_smilie: I would urge caution letting 8 year old girls or boys in the locker rooms without a parent. Usually there are only a few people in the locker room, but sometimes a high school team is using the pool or a group of middle school girls and their language is loud and nasty. I cringe when I hear them talking in front of my girls! Usually an adult presence helps, but PLEASE! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted April 13, 2009 Share Posted April 13, 2009 My son is a daily swimmer and he always ways to shower at home. He just pulls sweats or shorts up over his swim suit and changes and showers when he gets home. He's 11, and this isn't so much about safety for us. He just doesn't feel like showering with a bunch of other boys, I figure it's a great way to get Athlete's foot (or worse) and everyone just like showering at home. I definitely wouldn't take an 8 year old in the ladie's locker room. Women are often not modest in locker rooms (they figure they shouldn't have to be, I guess). THere was a woman at the Y I used to use who would walk around buck naked, blow her hair dry - whatever. It was HORRID (I really don't want to see any one naked, lol). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 (edited) Do you have your 8yob walk in the bathroom at home? I think 8 is too old to being seeing unclothed and partially clothed persons of the opposite sex. Taking a child that age in the locker room and forcing the adult woman who use the facility to wait is inappropriate. with all due respect, if it comes down to my 8yo's safety vs a grown adult being patient, I'm siding w/ the kid Every. Time. eta: And as for an 8-year old in the womens' locker room - no! My 8-year old and her friends would not like that! : i'll ditto the statement i made directly above: a kid's ACTUAL safety vs unintentionally seeing someone unclothed? lesser of two evils would kick in. Thankfully, that doesn't have to be the only option ;) Edited April 14, 2009 by Peek a Boo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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