Janna Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 If you have the ability to be stubbornly determined, but find yourself being moderately passive, how do you get that determination back? I am so frustrated with myself because I can't seem to find my determination/strong-willed/competitive nature. It's been missing for months now and I can't seem to get it back. It's like I have the motivation, but I can't seem to muster up the determined effort to do what needs to be done, kwim? It doesn't seem to be working to just wake up in the morning and *choose* to be determined, either. Believe me, I've tried. I don't know if I'm mildly depressed because my dh is *still* without a job, if I feel out of control with everything going on around me, and therefore am passive to trying to control *anything* right now, or if it's actually a good place to be - not being so controlling, but more relaxed. I would think that if it's a good thing, I would *feel* like it's a good thing, though. And I don't. I'm highly frustrated and disappointed with myself. If you understand what I'm talking about and have btdt, what did you do to get your yourself going again? It's almost like I need to get angry enough about it, and I'm not. I'm angry with myself, but apparently not angry *enough*. On the other hand, I would hate to think that my stubborn nature only comes into play when I'm angry, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 Are you getting any exercise? It sounds like you are a bit depressed, which is certainly understandable in your situation and coming off of a long winter (assuming you have winter where you live). I would encourage you to get outside early in the day for some intense walking. Take the dc for some exercise, too, and have them take turns pushing the stroller so you can swing your arms. That will get your blood pumping more, which may help you feel better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted April 3, 2009 Share Posted April 3, 2009 I don't know if I'm mildly depressed because my dh is *still* without a job, if I feel out of control with everything going on around me, and therefore am passive to trying to control *anything* right now, or if it's actually a good place to be - not being so controlling, but more relaxed. I would think that if it's a good thing, I would *feel* like it's a good thing, though. And I don't. I'm highly frustrated and disappointed with myself. I understand this part of what you're saying. Life feels out of control, & even a tiny bit of control would help everything feel a little bit less like your world is reeling. I'm not sure, but I think that might be part of what you're getting at. Anyway, I deal w/ that w/ tunnel vision. My dh is (sort-of) looking for work, too. We've had car problems, and... well... lots of problems for a while. To some extent, if I can make my world smaller, & control *that,* it helps me feel more in control (or less worried) about everything out of my control. I might choose to get the laundry done, if it's become really crazy. I might do one load of laundry & get dinner on the table on time. I might help the kids clean their room if it's gotten out of control. Maybe try to simplify our school plans or write out a menu, organize recipes, clean the one thing in the bathroom that's driving me nuts. Other times, it means closing the door & drinking a cup of tea. Half an hour to an hour of quiet w/ no interruptions, to recenter, find my calm, breathe, & come out kind. Sometimes everything I try blows up in my face. Even then, all you can do is keep trying. I've been surprised how much prayer can help & scripture. I ought to know better, but...I forget. LOL I could be totally off-base about what you mean, but I do know that I'm incredibly determined, yet there are times when I just sit here, staring into space because I'm so overwhelmed. It's so endless. And the endlessness hints at pointlessness. Usually, I put on someone else's glasses, see my kids grown up & how fast the time flew, & take the glasses off, glad to find I have a few more dinners to fix, a few more diapers to change. And I try to be grateful. Again, though, I'm not sure that that has to do w/ determination. *IF* this is what you mean, one of my favorite verses is in James. It's a cropped verse taken slightly out of context, but I've painted the words in HUGE letters & hung them over my kitchen sink: "Count it all joy." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I just get more involved in stuff outside the house :) Find something new to get excited ABOUT. Are you taking any vitamins? I've heard that B-complex can help, but get a "good" one that is easily absorbed. I've had some times where I feel kinda blah, but they don't usually last more than a week or two. Mine's more the "yearly burnout that will pass" than anything else. good luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mooooom Posted April 5, 2009 Share Posted April 5, 2009 I tell myself that I feel that way, and determine what I would do if that were true and then DO it. Oftentimes the sense of accomplishment will get you back on track. I would try making lists of what you are planning to accomplish, cross things out - then make lists of what you have done and review frequently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janna Posted April 6, 2009 Author Share Posted April 6, 2009 That's a good idea. Now I just have to find the motivation to make the lists, LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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