How important is it to you that your DC enjoy homeschooling?

[Stacey in MA]

I am curious how in the minority I am.... My kids don't really enjoy homeschooling, though we intend to continue through high school. Any of you in a similar situation?

[Tammy]

I don't care if my kids enjoy it.....that is the way it will be, LOL!

[kaylk in tx]

Mine wouldn't enjoy anything that interfered with their ability to play all day! They wouldn't like PS either for that reason so I just don't worry about it. :D

[Avila]

I try to follow reasonable requests, so in that sense, I do try to make sure that for each child, there is *something* enjoyable. But each of my DDs has something they just don't like, and we have to do it anyhow.

 

My middle DD honestly just doesn't like any subject but science, and only then with experiments or about animals. For her, if it had to be enjoyable, we would have to completely unschool. And while I have several friends who do that and it is working for them, it is not in my personality to make work, so it is not an option for us.

[brehon]

Enjoy it compared to...what? Playing outside? Heck No! Playing trains? Heck No! Watching movies? Nope again. Other schooling options? Mine don't have any experience with ps or private school, so they have no basis for any sort of judgement.

 

There are certainly days, weeks even, my kids don't enjoy their lessons. I don't intentionally make school a drudgery. I try to find enjoyable books, activities, ect to complement what we're doing. However, they must learn and, well, it's simply not going to be fun all the time.

 

I like Karenciavo's quote in her signature - Be patient and tough; someday this pain will be useful to you. (That may not be the exact quote, but you get the drift.)

 

It's most important to me that my kids learn. I do my best to make what I can enjoyable - we do several science experiments per chapter, at least one extra history activity per chapter (and I'm *not* crafty), and I really do try to find books I think will engage them. Somedays we'll drop formal school and do other activites (work in the garden, go to a museum, etc). And somedays we just drop lessons and have fun.

 

My oldest is just over a year younger than your oldest (just for reference). Maybe you could find a way to tweak what you're doing or maybe a particular curriculum isn't meshing with your dc's way of learning or maybe everyone is in a season of blah. IIRC MFS had a wonderful blog post several years ago about finding the joy in schooling. Good Luck.

[OnTheBrink]

If dd enjoys her schooling, it makes for a more pleasant day, and I do take her thoughts in to consideration, but overall, I decide how she's educated and we'll do it the way I decide.

[amy g.]

Well, I care.

 

The first year that we homeschooled I had a horrible thought, "What if I push and push them and make them unhappy just for some future goal of a college scholarship and a successful future, but for some reason, they don't live to adulthood."

 

I know it is morbid, but this is the only life we have, and I'm determined that we all enjoy it.

 

Of course, I also believe that true learning feels good and is a natural human desire, so It's not like I have to force them or trick them into learning.

 

Would you rather be smarter, or happier? Would you rather have more money or be happier? Do you see why I don't think it is a silly goal?

 

Fortunately, my wonky way of looking at things hasn't hurt them too much. The older three are cheerful hard workers.

 

Miss Bossy....well....remind me not to watch the movie about the Bad Seed.

[Mommyof4ks]

Mine wouldn't enjoy anything that interfered with their ability to play all day! They wouldn't like PS either for that reason so I just don't worry about it. :D

 

:iagree: :lol:

 

Of course we don't have nearly the rigor in our program as others, because after facing the possibility of losing my youngest I have lightened up and we enjoy learning together.

Edited April 1, 2009 by dwkilburn1

[Tree House Academy]

Sure, I hope that overall, my kids enjoy homeschooling. However, I also realize they are not always going to "enjoy" school and doing school work. Everyday is not going to be blooming beautiful roses for them (or for me), so I am realistic and understand they may, at time, not enjoy it at all. It does not matter right now, though. We will be homeschooling because dh and I both think this is best.

 

That said, if there is ever a time that my kids are miserable or that I am miserable and this is no longer the best situation for our family, I will not hesitate to find other arrangements for them. My decision will not hinge on whether they "enjoy" it...but more on "is it working, 95% of the time, for our family right now?"

 

:)

[Laura R (FL)]

Amy G, I'm much like you. It's important that my children enjoy the learning process, as well as any other portion of their lives. We're not going to quit Algebra because someone doesn't like it, but I will find ways to make Algebra as painless as possible.

 

I can't compare that experience to public school, because I'm not in control of what happens in that environment. I am in control of my home environment and while I can't control others, we have a happy house and I've tried to teach them that their contentedness and 'happiness' comes from their spiritual life, regardless of their circumstances. Kinda cheesy, I guess.

[Amy loves Bud]

Well, I want them to enjoy it, and try to make it pleasant for us all. But, we would still do it if they didn't like it.

[WTMCassandra]

Enjoy it compared to...what? Playing outside? Heck No! Playing trains? Heck No! Watching movies? Nope again. Other schooling options? Mine don't have any experience with ps or private school, so they have no basis for any sort of judgement.

 

There are certainly days, weeks even, my kids don't enjoy their lessons. I don't intentionally make school a drudgery. I try to find enjoyable books, activities, ect to complement what we're doing. However, they must learn and, well, it's simply not going to be fun all the time.

 

 

:iagree:

 

My real answer lies somewhere inbetween "somewhat important" and "not very important." I answered "not very important" because I thought the description fits us pretty well.

 

Brehon hits it on the head that the children have no basis for judgment. Mine have always been homeschooled too and are in the same boat.

[homeschooltoone]

I answered not important. He doesn't care much for school whether it's homeschool or ps school. School is not fun.

[swellmomma]

I do try to plan things I know they will enjoy to keep the learning fun, I also take their thoughts into consideration, such as changing our writing program after listening to tears for 6 months with the one we were doing. Overall though there is going to be topics/subjects they do not enjoy and they will have to simply suck it up because certain things have to be learned. My oldest wold prefer to play video games all day, and my dd would prefer to hang out with friends instead of work. They both have subjects they absolutely hate but I will not drop subjects just to make school "happy time" kwim. That said overall my kids prefer homeschooling, they have spent time in public school and hated it, so they do have something to compare it to, and when they grumble about having to do something for school I remind them of what it was like when they were in ps and they tend to get down to business.

[Aubrey]

Well, I try to make it pleasant, but that doesn't mean we'll quit if they suddenly think it isn't. So I voted somewhat, but I guess everything below that could have applied to us, too.

[JennW in SoCal]

Enjoy isn't quite the right word. I want my kids to be engaged in their schooling but I don't expect them to be thrilled over every single subject every day of the week. I create courses to fit their interests, avoid as much busy work drudgery as possible, and try keep even dull subjects like Algebra as fun as possible. There is lots of laughter in our day, but my kids still have to do work they'd really rather avoid. Along the lines of what Amy said -- there is no point in them being unhappy. Life is too short and the world far too interesting for school to be misery.

 

If they weren't thriving at home I would find another educational setting for them.

[joannqn]

Amy G, I'm much like you. It's important that my children enjoy the learning process, as well as any other portion of their lives. We're not going to quit Algebra because someone doesn't like it, but I will find ways to make Algebra as painless as possible.

 

:iagree:

 

We learn what we need to learn but I try to make is as painless as possible. I try to find the best curriculum for each child which helps. Then I add in as much "fun" stuff...books we enjoy, movies to go with what we are learning, field trips, crafts, projects, etc. I find that my kids retain so much more when they enjoy it and learn some things by osmosis (or so it seems).

[Laura K (NC)]

It's not just to put work in front of them, but to make them enjoy learning. There's that quote, Education's not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire, or something like that. I pick the subject material, and then I try to find a way to make that most enjoyable. If I didn't, I think I would be failing my kids, not only in their own education, but also in their kids' educations. I want them to like it enough to look back fondly as well as seeing the value.

 

Fun doesn't necessarily mean "lite." And "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." :)

[Spy Car]

It's not just to put work in front of them, but to make them enjoy learning. There's that quote, Education's not the filling of a bucket, but the lighting of a fire, or something like that. I pick the subject material, and then I try to find a way to make that most enjoyable. If I didn't, I think I would be failing my kids, not only in their own education, but also in their kids' educations. I want them to like it enough to look back fondly as well as seeing the value.

 

Fun doesn't necessarily mean "lite." And "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." :)

 

:iagree:

 

And they learn more when they are happy and motivated. Our job is to keep the fire blazing.

 

Bill

[Melissa in Australia]

I have a list of essential subjects that they have to do and some that are negotiable.

this is in older age groups. eg. my 15 year old couldn't stand vocab from classical roots. He went on strike and wouldn't do anything foe 3 weeks. he is not the most commutative kid, and it took me 3 weeks to work out what was the problem. once I worked out the problem we negotiated that he could drop vocab form classical roots and do logic every day. End of problem.

[Guest Katia]

I voted "other" because in our family it really depends/depended on what ages the dc were at the time....

 

When they were little, we homeschooled them because that is what we felt called to do. Nothing could have coerced us to send them to ps (again), not even if they hated homeschooling (which they did not!)

 

Once they were high school level, however, we felt it important to give them choices in their educations since, after all, it was/is their futures.....so if they are unhappy at home we look at options such as:

taking a class or two at the ps

taking a class or two at the cc

outside activites

jobs or volunteer opportunites

enroll in ps (last option, but still available to them)

 

Different stages of life call for different lines in the sand.

[Ida]

When I first started homeschooling, I, like most people, had this vision that I was going to be able to create this wonderful perfect learning environment for my children and as a result they were going to automatically love learning and be happy, bubbly, brilliant beings. Early on I took it personally when my oldest didn't get excited about the curriculum I had painstakingly picked out or worse yet when he flat out rejected it. It took years, but I am now at the point that school is work, sometimes rewarding and sometimes just hard, but life is like that. Certainly I still try to pick programs that I think address each particular child's needs and learning style. I expect them not to complain about it, but I don't expect them to like it, and when they do, that's icing.

[Audrey]

I am curious how in the minority I am.... My kids don't really enjoy homeschooling, though we intend to continue through high school. Any of you in a similar situation?

 

I put that it is very important.

 

It is VERY important to me that ds wants to homeschool. I wouldn't homeschool if it were a constant battle against someone who really does not want to be there. I don't think that would do any of us any good.

 

That said, ds knows very well that the only other option is public school, and we know he does NOT want to be there. So I guess wanting to homeschool is really only relative to the limited options available to him.

 

Enjoy.... hmm... I don't expect him to enjoy all of our lessons. Not every subject is going to appeal to a kid. However, I do think it's important that overall he enjoy the learning process. I don't want to shove it all down his throat. I want to foster a positive learning ethic. To that end, we try very hard to organize lessons that are interesting an engaging to balance out the inevitable frustrating or uninteresting lessons.

 

It's like a good meal. Along with the rich and tasty items, you balance it with the somewhat less inspiring, but no less important fibre and greens. You can enjoy a good meal without necessarily having enjoyed every single bite to the same extent as another.

[Veritaserum]

One of the biggest reasons we homeschool is so that our kids will retain a love of learning. I don't want to instill a hate of learning by forcing them to do homeschool if they really, really don't want to. What I disliked about public school was that my learning needs weren't met. Homeschooling allows me to personalize for my individual children. Really, that's the whole point for us. :)

[Veritaserum]

Enjoy.... hmm... I don't expect him to enjoy all of our lessons. Not every subject is going to appeal to a kid. However, I do think it's important that overall he enjoy the learning process. I don't want to shove it all down his throat. I want to foster a positive learning ethic. To that end, we try very hard to organize lessons that are interesting an engaging to balance out the inevitable frustrating or uninteresting lessons.

 

It's like a good meal. Along with the rich and tasty items, you balance it with the somewhat less inspiring, but no less important fibre and greens. You can enjoy a good meal without necessarily having enjoyed every single bite to the same extent as another.

 

:iagree: If my kids whine about something I'll usually negotiate terms that are acceptable to both of us. Same with veggies at dinner, lol. None of them have asked to go to public school. They realize that their public schooled friends do waaaaay more forced work than they do at home. :tongue_smilie:

[Sweetpeach]

I voted "very important" --- again, this doesn't mean we don't do anything. As the teacher, it's my responsibility to mix joy with learning . . . if our kids decided they want to specialize in a field that takes an extra 10 years of study after they graduate from high school, I want them to have the stamina and the excitement to press in and on for as long as it takes. Life after undergrad can be tough; takes tremendous dedication and committment so I feel it's very important to make sure our littles are learning and enjoying it at the same time. I don't want to be pushing uphill for the next 10 years . . . slogging along without lots of joy and laughter. They ultimately choose to excel at uni or not and once they've left our home, I can't control their choices. I feel I must influence now while I can and so I use the honey approach and rely less on the vinegar to catch the goals I'm after.

 

My 2 cents.

 

Tricia

[Haiku]

I voted "other." It's extremely important to me that the kids enjoy homeschooling. After all, my entire aim in homeschooling is to provide my kids a better experience than they'd get in school, and that doesn't just mean better academics.

 

However, the "very important" choice said we wouldn't homeschool if the kids didn't enjoy it, and that's not true either. We will homeschool regardless, but I will do everything I possibly can to make it enjoyable for the kids. If they graduate and look back and say, "I got an outstanding education but I hated homeschooling," then I will not have succeeded. If they grow up and say, "I had a blast but learned nothing, " I will not have succeeded.

 

Tara

Edited April 1, 2009 by TaraTheLiberator

[Carrie12345]

I'm an "other". It's extremely important to me that my kids enjoy homeschooling. But I wouldn't put them in ps if they didn't. I'd just keep working to make it enjoyable and telling them to suck it up through the parts they don't! ;)

[Kim in Appalachia]

playing outside, or with their Legos, K'nexes, playmobile, or watching TV. They would rather do anything than school.

 

My dd 11 would rather read any book except the ones I assign. My oldest would rather spend the day cooking and doing crafts (quilting, knitting, etc...)

 

We do school because we should, and they are all aware of how much more free time we have because we homeschool.

 

I do try to work with them when it comes to curriculum, but that has backfired a few times. I mostly pick what I believe will work well for them, and then force them to do it. :001_smile:

[fivetails]

I voted 'other' because none of the options fit quite right for me... it's very important to me that they enjoy homeschooling - but the poll option with that speaks about not homeschooling if they didn't like it.... not the case here. We're hs'ing, end of story - but at the same time, I try my best to have them both enjoy what we're doing because I think it's important. :)

[Jackie in NE]

I drag them kicking and screaming from their warm, cozy beds, feed them gruel for breakfast, and force them to solve complex mathematical problems until I'm too tired to go on. Then, we do Latin!

 

This way, when they finally leave home to go to the college that they're perfectly prepared for, they will absolutely love it and get advanced degrees, and be able to support me in my old age!!

 

;);) It IS April 1st, isn't it?

[SquirrellyMama]

It used to have more importance than it does now. I wasn't going to stop home schooling but I was knocking myself out to make it fun. I finally told my dd that it wasn't always going to be fun but she had to do it anyway.

 

Kelly

[RebeccaS]

Mine wouldn't enjoy anything that interfered with their ability to play all day! They wouldn't like PS either for that reason so I just don't worry about it. :D

:iagree:

[Peela]

I put "other" because although the kids don't get a choice as to whether they homeschool or not- we feel it is in their best interests- it IS important to me that they enjoy it somewhat and I go out of my way to adapt the program so that our days are fairly happy.

 

My dd14 just told me this afternoon- she wonders what school would be like. I know she has a longing to go lately- she is in contact with many older kids through Scouts and is being exposed to talk about parties and alcohol etc. But she wants to go for the social life- and she already does have a good social life, but she'd like more- and we feel she probably would let go of the academic side of things to just have a good time. In other words the original reason for homeschooling her in particular- peer pressure issues- still stand.

But that doesn't mean I just dictate their program and not care whether they enjoy it or not. I do care and it is designed with their unique personalities in mind.

[Nan in Mass]

Other here, too. Mine would naturally rather be doing one of their own projects than school, but they don't mind doing school and I try to arrange things so they enjoy lots of it. There are a few subjects that they have regretfully concluded they just don't enjoy no matter what, and I try to find an efficient way to do those, not make them longer by adding in interesting extras. I agree with Tara.

[lionfamily1999]

I said somewhat, but more because I try to make it enjoyable and interesting.

 

I can't think of a reason why we would stop homeschooling, though. So, it's not as though he has a choice in the matter, but I do try to keep him happily involved.

[chiguirre]

I voted that it's not important. With ds there really is no choice because there is no institutional school that will meet his needs. Even if we both hated it, we'd still have to hs. Dd is along for the ride because it's easier for me logistically. It would take a lot for me to put her in school.

 

That said, we have a good time hsing and I do try to make our studies as interesting to them as possible. They both love read-alouds so it's not too hard to make them happy. If I can throw in some Schlessinger videos, they're happy as clams. Right now we're studying the Greeks and my dd is enamored of Persephone. Ds is a big fan of Haephestus because he has a smelter. I've seen them playing bacteria and white blood cells (okay, it was a pillow fight but ds was a bacteria and dd was a white blood cell). They're happy and I'm happy too.

[elegantlion]

I voted somewhat. We do make homeschooling fun, although our vision of fun is probably different than most. ;) But we homeschool because it is what is best for ds right now. That's our choice, dh and I, not his.

[dragons in the flower bed]

I am curious how in the minority I am.... My kids don't really enjoy homeschooling, though we intend to continue through high school. Any of you in a similar situation?

 

 

I try to create a learning program that pleases the kids. I create the daily plan, taking some of the kids' requests into consideration. I expect that to please them. Are my expectations too high? This is a courtesy to them; we'll homeschool whether the kids enjoy it or not.

[lynn]

I know that bad days come from kids either being tired or what we are learning is just plain boring. There are days we all need a break and head out the door to get away from it all for a day.

[dragons in the flower bed]

The first year that we homeschooled I had a horrible thought, "What if I push and push them and make them unhappy just for some future goal of a college scholarship and a successful future, but for some reason, they don't live to adulthood."

 

I have thought the same thing. A child the same age as my firstborn, from the same church we attended at the time, who was interested in all of the same things, and even blond and blue-eyed like mine, died when both kids were two. We lived across the street from the cemetery, and they put up a little statue of him that was always there, reminding me not to take a single second for granted.

 

But I also am not willing to sacrifice their future for the sake of their present. There has to be a balance. I truly do not believe that any of our local schools will adequately prepare the children for life or work.

[sweetTN]

We will home school regardless of how dd *likes* it, but feel it is important to instill a love of learning.

[JFSinIL]

Mine wouldn't enjoy anything that interfered with their ability to play all day! They wouldn't like PS either for that reason so I just don't worry about it. :D

 

Yup!

I tell recalcitrant students "That is why it is called schoolWORK and not schoolPLAY!"

 

And if they whine too much they can do double of whatever the subject (usually math) might be.

 

Evil Mom

[WTMindy]

It is not important to me that they like all the daily work, but I'm very thankful that over-all they like being homeschooled. They have no desire to go to a traditional school, and I'm glad. But, I don't work super hard to make sure they like every subject.

[Peela]

 

But I also am not willing to sacrifice their future for the sake of their present. There has to be a balance.

 

For me, I am not willing to sacrifice their present for their future. To me, our days need to be generally happy- not every minute, not even every day, but generally speaking, the overall tone needs to be of a happy childhood, not a stressful one, or one that is only a preparation for the future.

But, balance in the key.

[dcjlkplus3]

Mine wouldn't enjoy anything that interfered with their ability to play all day! They wouldn't like PS either for that reason so I just don't worry about it. :D

:iagree:

[Guest janainaz]

It is important that my kids be happy and at peace in life in general. I can't say at 9 years old that I would let my son make the decision on his education. However, as he gets older I will certainly consider and assess our life and take to heart his feelings (and my other son when the time comes). I do believe that if my husband and I are happy, content and at peace, we will pass that along to our kids. The freer we are in our lives, the freer our kids will be. I don't know what the teen years have in store, but I certainly hope to give our sons a fair amount of freedom where they don't feel over-controled and suffocated by our agendas for their lives. If either one of my kids had a deep heart desire to go to regular school, I think I would not say "no". If our connections with our kids are healthy, it would not be the worst thing on the planet to let them spread their wings (but certainly not in our school district....).

 

I think that if kids are miserable being homeschooled, there must be a deeper reason why - maybe things are out-of-balance in some area.

 

So, yes, I would care and it will never be "my way or the highway" with my kids.

[hornblower]

I'm finding the poll is muddling me because it's switching from discussing homeschooling & discussing curriculum....

 

Whether we homeschool or not is the decision of the parents.

 

HOW we homeschool is mostly our decision but we're very willing to look at input from the kids about what they'd like to tackle & how. So they can give me a vote on Saxon v. Singapore Math, or whether they want to do geometry this year or next, but they don't get to say that they want to go to the school down the road.

[Guest janainaz]

For me, I am not willing to sacrifice their present for their future. To me, our days need to be generally happy- not every minute, not even every day, but generally speaking, the overall tone needs to be of a happy childhood, not a stressful one, or one that is only a preparation for the future.

But, balance in the key.

 

I agree.

[nova mama]

But I'll do it whether they like it or not. I'll probably just try harder to make them like it.