Shooting myself in the foot

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ok, I need some hive psycho therapy!

 

I have noticed that I have a bad habit of bad habits. I want to go to bed earlier. I am so fatigued and really have nothing keeping me up late. But I will sit around dinking on the computer or watching mindless t.v. instead of doing what my body is telling me it wants to do.

 

I am trying to lose weight. I have healthy food in the house and make good meals for my family. But I will keep eating (even the healthy stuff) long after my body really wants it. And it doesn't even taste good to me at that point!

 

I want a healthy lifestyle along with a healthy energy level, healthy activities to engage my body and mind. Or at least I say I do. But deep within me there seems to be a part of me that is screaming "No! You can't make me lose weight! You can't make me be healthy!"

 

Any advice? Free psychological advice?

 

Christian Content from here on down:

 

Is this a sin nature thing? You would think that my "flesh" would want the best for my flesh, if you know what I mean?!!!

 

UPDATE**********

 

It is 10:30 and I'm going to bed! (I've been staying up until 11:30 so this is good).

 

I ate much better today - had protein at snacks.

 

No exercise yet. My dc will not let me alone while I exercise. It raises my heart-rate but for the wrong reasons!

[Sue G in PA]

I don't know that it is "sin nature" persay. As for the sleep issues...I've boiled mine down to this: The sooner I go to sleep, the sooner morning will come and my day will start over with the same old, same old. Putting off going to bed, puts off going to sleep which puts off waking to a new day full of sibling rivalry, fights over schoolwork, more sibling rivalry, more trying to figure out my ds6 whom I just don't understand at all, nastiness from ds5, etc. You get the picture. As for the healthy foods issue...sometimes we just crave the "junk". Today, instead of eating the fresh fruit and veggies we just bought, I've been snacking on Hershey's Kissables left over from Vday. Great, huh? Part of that is being pregnant, stressed out and tired and just needed CHOCOLATE!

 

As for you...you mentioned part of you screaming "you can't make me be healthy, lose weight, etc.". Do YOU really want to lose weight, be healthy for YOU? Going to bed earlier will help w/ the fatigue AND the weight loss. When I'm fatigued, I tend to get a bit "depressed" (not clinically speaking, just a bit more down in the dumps, KWIM?). When I'm depressed (down) I don't make good decisions. It's a cycle. Perhaps your challenge lies in that "cycle", too? I'll be praying for you...

[Michelle T]

I don't have advice for you, because I am struggling with the same thing. There are lots of reasons for self-defeating behavior, sometimes obvious, sometimes not.

 

 

I tell myself over and over to just "get up and do ..." whatever it is, but that doesn't seem to do the trick!

Michelle T

[ThelmaLou]

As a Christian, I would agree completely that sin is at the root of failing to do what I know is wise. I find these same things to be true of myself. I'm sure you've read this, but Romans 7: 13-25 speaks directly to these things. Some excerpts: "I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate....So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies cloes at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my memebers...Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

 

You said, "You would think that my "flesh" would want the best for my flesh, if you know what I mean?!!!" You would think, wouldn't you? But scripture confirms that it's just the opposite. My own sin makes me do stupid, self-defeating things. Realizing this helps me take responsibility for my own actions and not feel like a victim. I have no one to blame but myself. And no one can give me strength to fight that sin but the Lord. Thanks goodness He delights in answering the prayers of His children. Our battle against sin will be relentless until the day that "we will be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is." He has won the "war", but the mop-up battles continue until that time.

 

Proverbs 14:1 is an encouragement to me when I find myself engaging in self-defeating activities: "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down."

[Lisa in SC]

For me, it's more of a perfectionist thing (which, does boil down to sin, ultimately). If I think I might fail, then I just won't do it. Makes no sense, but it's how I operate.

 

I'm making some headway now doing a combination of a couple of things. One, I try to associate some type of reward with a new, desired behavior. For example, in order to get to bed at a decent time, I tell myself that 1) Dh prefers me to go to bed at the same time as he does, and 2) Since I'm always cold, he'll be there to warm me up. That sounds ridiculous, but it works for me.

 

Two, something someone wrote here (sorry I can't remember who) really spoke to me. She wrote that she finds 10 things for which to be thankful before she gets out of bed. That has really helped me form a much more self-forgiving, positive attitude. Colleen's words of wisdom regarding getting up early have helped me in that regard too. Thanks to both of you! :)

 

Three, rather than thinking "I must eat perfectly/organically/low-fat/etc." and setting myself up for failure (because I do always fail when I think this way), I have been focusing on being intentional with eating *and* planning for simplicity. By being intentional, I just mean that now I intentionally eat 3 meals and also allow for a snack if necessary. By planning for simplicity, I have been doing smoothies for breakfast and soups from veganlunchbox paired with a 1/2 sandwich for lunch.

 

This week, I made a batch of black bean soup. I've been having a cup of soup along with 1/2 of a vegetarian sandwich of some sort (today it was a 'chikn' lol patty with hot sauce & lots of veggies). For breakfast, I'm alternating between blueberry and strawberry healthy fast smoothies as well as one that is vanilla but incorporates a little granola. I don't have to think about breakfast or lunch at all. That's key for me. Keeping it simple. Dinner is also simple, but I do much more variety. It just needs to be as much of a no-brainer as possible. Oh, and I keep junk out of the house. If it's here, I'll eat it. :o

 

It's tough, though. I just seem to be prone to self-destructive behavior. I'm constantly battling it. I don't know if anything I wrote helped, but I hope so. If nothing else, perhaps you were entertained by my babbling.

 

Lisa

[MomofSeven]

the series was on purity but he touched on one thing that really hit me. Ou society is not used to deprivation. (so true). He challenged the listener to deprive yourself of one thing each day. This could be food, time on the computer, sleep, idleness, whatever you really want but know is not particularly God's best for you.

 

I've put this into practice and each time I deprive myself, I feel like I'm conquering a little bit of that sin nature.

 

I wish I could do his message justice. I know you could find the sermon series on line.

[mcconnellboys]

I could never do dieting or even healthy eating until I increased proteins and reduced carbs. Eating carbs, even those that are good for you, in excess, doesn't satisfy you, deep down, for very long. I can prowl the house all night and eat one carb after another and I'm still searching for something. If I can make myself eat proteins, instead, such as various types of nuts, peanut butter, cheese, etc., then I find that soon my cravings have settled down and I'm okay.....

 

And when I'm sitting in front of my tv/computer combo, just vegging, and I start to have that sleepy feeling - or see that it's xxxxxx time at night, when I told myself I'd go to bed, then I get up and go, no loitering. It takes a while to break bad habits (about three weeks, at least).

 

Good luck to you,

 

Regena

[jacqui in mo]

I would add that you should try only changing ONE thing at a time, whichever you feel will be easiest to do or have the biggest impact. Maybe just work on getting to bed earlier first & that make give you the alertness & mental energy to work on your small parts of the diet later. HTH ;o)

[Laura Corin]

I find that starting with exercise helps. If I do at the very least a brisk half-hour walk each day, I'm more likely to eat well, drink more water and go to bed at a decent hour. It just seems to regularise my body, somehow.

 

Laura

[melissel]

I find that I have a hard time going to bed at night and eating healthfully because I spend all day doing doing doing for everyone else, and NEVER for myself. Staying up late at night is the only time I ever get to be truly alone, doing things solely for me. Same with eating poorly--it's like it's my only treat. But lately, the repercussions of living this way have been so negative that I've finally been driven to treat myself better (or at least try). It's so hard to make myself get in bed by midnight and up by 7:00 (it's supposed to be 6:00), but when I can do it, my days go much better. Seeing the small payoff of even a day or so of better moods, greater efficiency, more sunlight etc. helps me keep going.

 

Also, in terms of energy and eating, I recently read The Mood Cure and started supplementing according to the author's recommendations, and I'll tell you, it's made a real difference in not only my mood, but also my relationship to food. It's been a long time since I ate a meal and felt truly satisfied afterward, but that's been happening lately, and it's mind blowing. DH and I went out to dinner the other night, and I couldn't even finish what was on my plate, when normally I would finish it, pick at his, have dessert, and then pick when we got home too. It's weird! I recommend the book. It hasn't done all the things I'd hoped for my emotions, but I'm still playing with the details. In terms of eating and satisfaction, though, I can't believe the results.

[nuthouse]

forms of electronic media are cut off, no telephone, no computer, no videos, no TV, no hand held games, ect are turned off at 8'oclock. Bedtime follows naturally about 1.5 hours later. Make a time cutoff instead of saying no the something you like to do. Ms. D.

 

PS. I'm glad you like the cookbook.

[wide eyes & laughter]

When I am exercising consistently, food is not much of an issue. But for me, it always starts w/exercise. To motivate myself toward exercise, I have discovered 2 things about myself which work: 1) I have to leave the house to exercise (I can't bring myself to step over laundry and past the piles even though we have a treadmill) and, in order to maintain consistency, it needs to be a gym type place. (Can't be the great outdoors b/c weather prohibits that consistency) and 2) I have to keep the incentive before me, which although I need to take off more weight is *not* weightloss, rather it's the good feeling (endorphins!) I get from cardio exertion.

 

I've also pegged something else about myself: The more I focus on food (counting it, measuring it, low-fat, low-carb, yaddi yaddi), the more I want to eat. I guess I'm saying deprivation doesn't work for long-term goals for myself. Serving food on smaller plates helps me remember I don't need anything beyond that first serving.

 

Has there been a time in your life when this wasn't such an issue? If you can peg what has worked for you & why it worked and go with it, there's your key. The above forumula has always been what works for me. When I veered from it with latest trends or tried what worked for someone else, is when I've "crashed and burned" and failed to meet my goals.

 

I also crash & burn when I, for whatever reason, break my routine. Then I flounder and have to get back on course.

[Laura Corin]

forms of electronic media are cut off, no telephone, no computer, no videos, no TV, no hand held games, ect are turned off at 8'oclock. Bedtime follows naturally about 1.5 hours later. Make a time cutoff instead of saying no the something you like to do. Ms. D.

 

PS. I'm glad you like the cookbook.

 

I switch off my computer at 9pm. I usually watch television from around 9:30 to 10:30, then read in the bath until 11:30. That helps me wind down for bed.

 

Laura

[Sugarfoot]

I can relate to so much of the self-defeating stuff. It's hard.

[Jean in Newcastle]

UPDATE:

 

It is 10:30 and I'm going to bed! (I've been staying up until 11:30 so this is good).

 

I ate much better today - had protein at snacks.

 

No exercise yet. My dc will not let me alone while I exercise. It raises my heart-rate but for the wrong reasons!

[Tap]

A little help for me is....I put little reminders or inspirational quotes by the things that are my worst crutches.

 

 

The one by my computer says

 

"Teach your children like you want them taught!"

 

It is a reminder to me that I wouldn't want their teacher sitting in front of a computer. I would want her interacting and actively teaching. It is a simple phrase that has a lot of meaning to me. When I know I have been on the computer too long, I stop read it and most importantly, ask my lazy self to explain to my teacher self, what I am doing and why it is more important that what I am supposed to be doing!

 

I often change quotes to fit my needs at the time and the placement of them.