hmschoolmom22 Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 my dd(8 yrs old)is more than capable of doing her schoolwork on her own - she constantly says "I need help" or that she doesn't understand when I know good and well she does understand or that she can certainly do it on her own...I found myself saying to her this morning, "you can do it Olivia, you are a very smart girl, just try it, think about it really hard, I bet you can figure out the answer"...and of course she did! my question is, do you hold your kids hand? do you sit there with them doing problem after problem, reading the directions, going over the work with them or do you make sure they understand the lesson, go over the directions and then let them go on their own? I can tell you exactly what we were doing this morning - pronouns - they take a the place of a noun - we went over several examples and she even made up a few sentences on her own using nouns and then replacing the noun with a pronoun. Then it was time to rewrite the sentences, replacing the noun with a pronoun...I heard "can I just tell you the word and you rewrite the sentence?" then it was....I don't know, I forget what a pronoun is, this doesn't make any sense, you need to help me!! BUT, as I said earlier, as soon as I told her she can do it and I walked away, she did it, as a matter of fact she just yelled to me that she was done with the whole lesson and I'm sure she got a 100%. opinions? advice? what do you do in this case? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My Olivia (dd9) will do this if I let her. I usually just watch her work one problem, one sentence, etc. by herself. I then tell her that she has to try the rest of the problems set/grammar page alone and we will go over it when she is done. She would have me right beside her all day if she could. I have four other dc that I'm trying to teach, so that is impossible. She is doing much better at doing her work independently since I require her to try it on her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMindy Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 With my dd almost none. She is a very independent worker. My son needs a lot of hand-holding still. We are working on that, but the truth is that he is an oral processor and he loves to do it all outloud with me. It isn't because he is trying to avoid writing things, he just loves it when we do it outloud. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I have to tell you both that I love the name Olivia. I fell in love with it after hearing Phil Keaggy's song Olivia (he wrote it for his daughter). About the original question: I don't do much hand holding at all. I don't know if it's a product of having 5 so close in age, but even right now my ds5 is doing his Saxon 1 math fact sheet by himself. If they can do it without me, then that is what I expect. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I have to sit with mine for all their work. Not necessarily right next to them but have to sit with them. In my case though it is because the older 2 have adhd and other issues which means they are highly distractable, and ds5 is more like a pre-K in his work so he needs me right next to him coaching him along. So during school time I am at the table with them or if we are not schooling in the kitchen then I am in the same room at least reminding them to stay on task. DD9 does try the "I can't do it" routine sometimes, I usually ask what about exactly is stumping her, and typically it is simply that she wanted me to cheer her on not that she didn't really get it. So I cheer her on for that one and then tell her to do the rest on her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I have had to sit with both of mine until they were about 11-12. Now they can work independently, but I have to sit with my 6yo. I think it is age-appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetTN Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I just go over the assignment to make sure dd understands the directions, and then she completes her work on her own. I can tell if she is unsure of her work because she will pull her desk over to mine while she works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I teach the lesson to her and sit with her while she does the first couple of problems, then I let her do the rest on her own. I stay nearby to help preempt daydreaming. We do most of our work in the morning after breakfast, so I clean the kitchen and do laundry while she is doing the work. But I don't leave her until after I have seen that she does one or two on her own. The only exceptions are her Singapore Challenging Word Problems which I do along side her and copy work which we also do together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 I explain, and then I sit in the same room with them in case they need help. DD is almost 8 and is now starting to be able to finish up some things on her own (math review, copywork, spelling). I think it's an age thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnetteB Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 Our Olivia just celebrated her 11th birthday :) Ds, 13, and she have to be "encouraged" not to distract each other during schooltime. Dd, 8, just needs a little instruction and reminders to "read the instructions!" Ds, 5, needs a lot of "hand holding." A phone call can scatter my students :glare: Dd, 14, studies in her room alone and we suspect that she falls asleep over her books sometimes, lol. I check up on her progress from time to time and hope that the others won't get to playing. Fortunately, the older children have all been very self-motivated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandy in TN Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 My 6yo does his Kumon independently. All other math and LA I sit with him, so that he can make corrections immediately. WP's AW I mostly read to him. Next year we will be using HOD Bigger and I expect it to be the same. I expect it to be this way until middle school. In middle school I will begin giving him the weekly assignment sheets instead of holding them myself. He will begin doing more independent science and history, but I still plan to teach LA and math. 15yo ds has a weekly assignment sheet, but I rarely sit with him. Next year will be the same except that his math assignments will be from a tutor. 17yo ds is primarily outsourced. I do not even read over his papers or check his math. I do drop him off at his classes, so because of that I know that he goes to class but that is it. Next year as a senior he will (hopefully if we can get another vehicle) drive himself, so I will be out of the loop unless he asks something of me. HTH- Mandy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted March 25, 2009 Share Posted March 25, 2009 my question is, do you hold your kids hand? do you sit there with them doing problem after problem, reading the directions, going over the work with them or do you make sure they understand the lesson, go over the directions and then let them go on their own? ... opinions? advice? what do you do in this case? I still read some directions, if they're tricky, and I often read word problems ('cuz of ds' dyslexia) still. Other than that, I'll help out on the first couple of problems/questions, and then he's on his own. If it's hard, I'll monitor so he doesn't get off track. He occasionally does the fake "help!" routine. If I know it's fake, I just say, "I know you know this. You can do it. Give it your best shot, and we'll go over it." If he's being really difficult about something that I'm sure he knows, I remind him of what he's NOT getting to do because he's taking so long! For us, this is SPELLING. (He loooooves grammar now, so that's a breeze. He even loves handwriting. He is not actually my child. He must have been switched at birth.) Occassionally, he does this in math, if he really dislikes the topic or is too bored. For the most part, making the work harder helps my ds. It could be that the work is either to hard or too easy as it is, or just really boring so she's attention-seeking....? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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