ummof3 Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 Hello :) Posting on behalf of a friend here. My friend's daughter is 6 and about to leave school in two weeks to be homeschooled. The thing is in the last few weeks or longer she has been very reluctant to go to school for one reason or another. In the last week she has been kicking and screaming in the mornings to the point where my friend has just not bothered sending her in or taking her in later. My friend isn't one to give into tantrums but this is getting her down. Plus the schools SENCO (special educational needs coordinator) thinks there may be wider parental issues :glare: which is rubbish. The girl just wants to leave school and knows there are now two weeks to go. My friend is worried that by allowing her dd to leave now means giving into her daughter and looking like a bad parent - the school might think this. But I don't see the point of making her dd cry every morning for the sake of the school. Her dd has already done some FLL, HWT and some other bits this morning quite happily. She's just a child desperately wanting to be homeschooled :001_smile: What would you suggest? tia xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 As parents and as long as we are following the state's homeschool law, we have a right to pull our kids and homeschool them when we want to. I'd gently and with encouragement guide your friend into caring less about what others think. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 What is the legal framework in the UK? If your df can legally let her dd stay home, IMHO she should. I'd wonder what was going on at school that caused my kid to pitch a fit at the thought of going. Once you've given notice that you're going to withdraw a child to hs, the school personnel might treat the child poorly or look to stir up trouble for you, so it's best to withdraw your child as soon as you give notice if you possibly can. Good luck to your friend! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hen Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 we are homeschooling a friends son, and the last few weeks of public school for him, last year, sounded very like what you are describing. she went ahead and pulled him out, 1 or 2 weeks before spring break. We did sit down and have a meeting with him, to explain the fun things we will be doing, but also the expectations..and that the fun things will be pulled if he doesn't do what he is expected to do..which is to show up every morning without tantrums, to have a good, willing attitude with me about schoolwork, and to do his schoolwork everyday. Also, that we (me and my husband) would decide if he was to have a sick day -at that point he was always crying wolf.. I think the meeting and responsibilities outlined counterweighed the worry of giving in to him by pulling him out early. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 As parents and as long as we are following the state's homeschool law, we have a right to pull our kids and homeschool them when we want to. I'd gently and with encouragement guide your friend into caring less about what others think. ;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 As parents and as long as we are following the state's homeschool law, we have a right to pull our kids and homeschool them when we want to. I'd gently and with encouragement guide your friend into caring less about what others think. ;) :iagree: Hey! I agree with Joanne! See Joanne, we can find some common ground! ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ummof3 Posted March 23, 2009 Author Share Posted March 23, 2009 Thank you all. She's been reading the threads but I haven't had a chance to ask her what she has decided. I did advise her to make this Friday her dd's last day and to encourage her to wait at least until then to leave. It will be nice to have a little goodbye party and she has gifts to give the children. I'm not aware of her having issues at school, she has always been a fun, sociable child and always at the top of the class. :001_smile::grouphug::001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MBH Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 When kids are begging to leave school then it is worse than you know. She is not being a bad parent. She is doing what is best for her child. If the administration already knows they are leaving the dd could be getting flack or maybe the reasons that they are leaving are only the tip of the ice berg and the mom just doesn't know it all. It took over a year for some stuff about my son's school experience to come out. I was amazed by what he hadn't told me. Why wait? Let the child relax and soothe her anxiety. Being a parent sometimes means holding firm about really important things but it also means responding to the needs of our kids. She is expressing those needs in the only way she knows how and the mom needs to respond appropriately no matter what some random school officials think. :iagree: Please encourage her to remove her child asap. There is more going on than she knows. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 23, 2009 Share Posted March 23, 2009 For whatever reason, this 6 year old does not have the capacity to wait it out. It doesn't always have to be something that we would think is major (though it could be) in order for it to be too much for a 6 year old. Bring her home. If it is done legally and without a lot of drama, then there shouldn't be a problem with the school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 If we don't like the school enough to continue sending our child there, do we care about their opinion of our parenting? I don't see this as giving in, but changing her decision because her daughter is right. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 My friend is worried that by allowing her dd to leave now means giving into her daughter and looking like a bad parent - the school might think this. Giving in? Her daughter is miserable and she's asking for help from one person in her life that she trusts and who is responsible for her well-being and safety. I think your poor friend has her priorities mixed up. She's caring more about what the school thinks than what is good for her daughter. Poor little girl. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Hello :) Posting on behalf of a friend here. My friend's daughter is 6 and about to leave school in two weeks to be homeschooled. The thing is in the last few weeks or longer she has been very reluctant to go to school for one reason or another. In the last week she has been kicking and screaming in the mornings to the point where my friend has just not bothered sending her in or taking her in later. My friend isn't one to give into tantrums but this is getting her down. Plus the schools SENCO (special educational needs coordinator) thinks there may be wider parental issues :glare: which is rubbish. The girl just wants to leave school and knows there are now two weeks to go. My friend is worried that by allowing her dd to leave now means giving into her daughter and looking like a bad parent - the school might think this. But I don't see the point of making her dd cry every morning for the sake of the school. Her dd has already done some FLL, HWT and some other bits this morning quite happily. She's just a child desperately wanting to be homeschooled :001_smile: What would you suggest? tia xx I say get her out--the sooner, the better. Why would the school think she's a bad parent? Why does she care what the school thinks? What's wrong with taking a young child--a YOUNG child--out of an environment that makes her cry *every morning*??? Get her out. Should I come over and help?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 I don't think I have enough information to know what's "right" here... I mean, I don't know from your post whether the child is truly miserable or whether she's being manipulative. If I had a child who was in great pain from being forced to go to school and I thought having to go each day was damaging to her, I'd do whatever I needed to to get her out immediately. ... ... But there are a few things in your post that make me wonder if the child is, perhaps, just throwing tantrums because she knows she can make her mother give in? And that would be a really awful precedent to set going into home schooling. It could make parenting / teaching this child very difficult in the future, if she already knows she can get what she wants by kicking and screaming and wearing her mother down. And, as I say, I really don't know what is going on in this case. I'm not there. But I would try not to let concern about "what the school might think" play into this. I would try to do what was best for the child long term. If each day at school kills off a little bit of her soul, I'd pull her now and be done with it. But if it's just a matter of "don't wanna", I would lay down the law, "You only have X number of days more. We can make a calendar for you to cross off the days. And we can look forward to only having a few days left. But you may not kick and scream and throw tantrums about going to school, and each time that you do you will [insert privilege-loss here or other consequence]"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 24, 2009 Share Posted March 24, 2009 Bring her on home. It's hard for even a 6 year old to wait 2 weeks. It sounds like she wants to be home. I think giving in to tantrums a few times a week would be harder on parental authority than just saying, "Okay sweetie - we see how much you want to be home and we've decided to go ahead and start your homeschooling now." Is there a specific reason why "2 weeks from now" instead of just "now"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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