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Question about competition in kids close in age


Marie in Oh
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I have a soon to be 11 yo DS who is a 5th grader and a 9 yo dd who is a 4th grader. The only subject they don't do together is Math. DS is a good math student but is not a hard charger-- he is on target to finish MUS Epsilon. DD just finished Delta and is beginning Epsilon. THis bothers DS to some degree. I can see DD catching up with him next year. I was thinking of putting DS in TT 7 (he has tested into it) rather than MUS Zeta and letting DD finish the MUS elementary series. WOuld that work to cut down on the competition between them? I do not like that he is feeling bad that his little sister is catching up. The funy thing is, dd #3 may catch up to both of them they way she is ripping through stuff. Oh my. Well, what do you all think?

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I've discussed this extensively with my dd8 (my ds7 WILL surpass her in math, probably this year.) We just explain to her that everyone is good at something and it's usually different things. Her brother just happens to be really really good at math, and she's not. It doesn't discourage her, she has a very good attitude about it.

 

I don't know if a discussion like that might help in your situation or not.

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I've discussed this extensively with my dd8 (my ds7 WILL surpass her in math, probably this year.) We just explain to her that everyone is good at something and it's usually different things. Her brother just happens to be really really good at math, and she's not. It doesn't discourage her, she has a very good attitude about it.

 

I don't know if a discussion like that might help in your situation or not.

 

WE talk about his strengths-- tee things he is better at than she is, etc. all the time. However, it is extremely demoralizing to him to be passed up. He is fiercely competative, so that must have something to do with it. I just thought maybe if they were working different curriculums, it would minimize the competition in his head. We plan to move to TT for Prealgebra/ Algebra in the future, so I would just start him earlier than expected.

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My two oldest dc are 9 & 10. My 9yr. dd is ahead of my ds in many subjects. It doesn't seem to bother them at all.

 

My two middle dc 7 & 8 are more competitive, next year I am doing two separate reading programs. They are in 1st & 2nd grade but both read, spell etc on the same level. My first grader just finished his 1st grade CLE math, instead of putting him in CLE 2, I chose to use another math program Schoolaid Math grade 2 . Eventually he will switch back to CLE.

 

I'm sure I'm just putting things off with these two:001_huh: but my 2nd grader is very sensitive about these things. Hopefully with prayer and encouragement it won't be such a problem with him in the future.

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We struggle with competition almost everyday the the older boys. The older one is a math whiz and a super student. The younger one resents it and won't work on anything with his older brother. He even got upset during Bible today when his brother leaned over to help him find the right verse. The younger one wont' accept help from his brother at all. All I can do is to constantly reassure the younger one that he is doing great. Yes D is better at math but you are better at football and writing stories and catching snakes and frogs, etc. I tell him that I don't want 2 of the same child and that he shouldn't try to be his brother. All this just to say that we have the same issues here. I just think learning to accept your differences is part of growing up. I just keep trying to make each of them secure with who they are.

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My 4th grader (age 9) is has leaped ahead of my 5th grader (age 11) in math (actually, in language arts, too, with the exception of writing). The way I am handling it is to use separate curricula for both. For Math, my 4th grader is using a California PreAlgebra text, and my 5th grader is doing Saxon California 6 and Singapore 5B. For Language Arts, my 4th grader is using Michael Clay Thompson's Caesar's English II, Grammar/Essay Voyage, and Wordly Wise 6, while my 5th grader is also doing Wordly Wise 6, but is using Vocabulary from Classical Roots 6 and IEW B. By mixing things up, I can minimize the competition between them. Putting them in separate rooms is also a necessity, sometimes, because they CHATTER CHATTER CHATTER.... better than fighting, I guess, but makes it tough to accomplish everything!

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I second Laurie in China. My two are 9 and 11 but it is the other way around. My oldest is really smart and for a long time was always correcting the younger one. We used to streamline history, science and bible but the youngest kept feeling so "dumb" even after the criticism (sp) stopped. She is getting better with time and beginning to own her own feelings. I keep telling her that only she can choose how to allow someone to make her feel. I keep reminding her that she is made in the image of God and that we are all equal. However, he has made us all for different purposes. They do two different histories and it has been a great break. Next year we are going back to Ancients and I am going to be having her work with the youngest to build her confidence. I will have her read and teach some of the topics, while the oldest goes and does outlining etc. HTH. Jeana

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