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Need advice for my 7yoDD

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My 7 yo DD is, to put it mildly, challenging. She has ADHD and a speech problem, and she may have other LDs. School is actually going fine at this point, except for spelling, and I am researching other options for that. I make a lot of accommodations for her, but she is working at grade level.


Here is my real problem. This child needs a lot of activity to really help keep her behavior in check. Right now, we do homeschool PE, piano, gymnastics and swimming, and she could probably use more than that really. The problem is that most of these things are progressive, and she is not progressing because she is not listening. She is not causing disruptions in these classes, but she has stalled and is not moving forward. I don't know what to think about that.


Part of me feels like she needs to have something she likes well enough to want to work on, and part of me feels like just having activities really is helping her behavior. She is about to start speech therapy, finally, and she will HAVE to be able to focus and listen there, and I don't know if the other stuff is sending the wrong message -- go and have fun, and don't worry about listening at all. I just got told yesterday that the swimming instructors think she needs to take a break because she won't do what they say, so they don't think there is anything left that they can teach her right now.


I am just really frustrated. My other two DDs are nothing like this, and I feel like all I am doing is reinventing the wheel for this child as it is and focusing way more attention on her than them. I would just take her out of everything, but I don't know if that is the answer either because I am honestly not sure if she isn't listening because of a maturity issue or stubborness or what. And I don't even want to think about what it would be like to have to drag the 7 yo DD to activities for the other two and have her try to sit patiently while they finish.


Thanks to anyone still reading this. I just feel like I am failing this child right now, and I don't know what to do about it.

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My 8yo ds is ADD (no hyperactivity) with moderate to severe language delays. He's been in speech therapy since he was 5yo. One of my 7yo twins also has a language delay and the other twin would be diagnosed with ADHD after being in the dr's office for 5 minutes! Just to let you know I've been where you are!


The speech therapy really has helped him. He's a lot better at listening/following instructions... Believe me, the therapist will know how to work with her on paying attention!


We haven't tried any homeschool group activities... the gymnastics class didn't work AT ALL! Swimming worked for us. How many times per week does she go to swimming? How large is the group she's in? With my older son, we moved him from one pool to another (large year round competitive team that used several pools for practices) where the group size was much smaller. That helped him turn the corner and start developing as a swimmer. When he was in the larger group, he actually was regressing! Forgot how to do breaststroke and butterfly! With the twin who's ADHD, we had to take all electronics away and use them as a reward for paying attention in his swimming group. Luckily his practices only last 30 minutes/twice per week as opposed to his older brother who practices 60 min/4 times per week. Anything over 30 minutes and he loses focus. Like at baseball practice.... :001_huh:


:grouphug: and hang in there!

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