Happy Camper Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 He has a meeting at 1PM today with his manager to discuss a less-than-favorable performance review. He was expecting this from his manager, who seems to be out to get him, but he feels it is very undeserved. He has been working very hard, with lots of overtime, especially these last 3 weeks, to finish up some projects before he takes time off for the baby (who is due to arrive any time now). These efforts have gone unnoticed. As a result, he is exhausted, frustrated, stressed, and seems ripe for a “fight†– not necessarily the best attitude to have towards your boss in this job market! Please pray that he will be able to handle the meeting with self-control and respect, while also defending his performance. If his review stands the way it is currently, he would likely receive no raise whatsoever, which has happened in the past. As you likely know, this kind of stress comes home with him, so it has impact for our whole family. He has “requested†that the baby not come until he makes more progress on things at work, which is not exactly what I want to hear with my level of discomfort at this stage! I dread calling him when the time comes. What should be a joyful time is far from it right now. So include me and the kids in your prayers too. Thank you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 I hope everything goes ok for your dh today -- since he's already expecting the worst, maybe it won't be as bad as he thinks, and he will be able to remain calm and collected throughout the meeting. It sounds like the stress may be even worse for you than for your DH, though! You are waiting for the new baby and I'm sure you're dealing with everything else at home, plus you're trying to encourage your DH and help him with his stress -- and now you're sitting at home worrying about the meeting, over which you have absolutely no control. AAARRRGH!!! Sending you a big hug! :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2a&z Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Hugs and prayers for your entire family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 :grouphug: and prayers coming your way. For you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Adding my prayers and best wishes ((hugs)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Camper Posted March 12, 2009 Author Share Posted March 12, 2009 The meeting was... OK. Dh was able to keep his cool, although some of the things he told me he said made me cringe a bit. He is simply beyond taking it anymore. His manager didn't have much to say regarding the defense dh put up. He did propose a "remediation plan" - which involves dh meeting deadlines on a number of projects, all of which are within the next 3 weeks. The manager doesn't seem to understand (or care) that these are completely unrealistic deadlines (based on the available time that dh has in his week after doing his regular job responsibilities - oh, and the fact that we are expecting a baby imminently), which dh has tried to explain in every way he knows how. The short of it was, if dh doesn't meet these deadlines, disciplinary action would follow, which could include termination of employment. So now dh is seriously thinking of pulling the supervisor and HR into it. He wants to put together his thoughts first and get it in writing so it can be on record. He seems resigned to the fact that he will be fired (although he claims he will quit first), and wants to make sure the company knows his side of the story. I have to confess that I cried most of the afternoon yesterday (including most of our phone conversation, but I'm pretty sure dh didn't hear or notice - he was too agitated). I recognize it's mostly hormones, but there is also genuine concern for dh's health (he's been taking meds to calm himself down), stress levels, and sadness that he's so far from being mentally/emotionally ready to welcome this child into the world. So thank you so much for your prayers and support. It was (and is) a comfort to know we were/are being lifted up in prayer. Clinging to His promises... HC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubrey Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Btdt. Prayed for y'all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmgirlinwv Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 :grouphug: BTDT as well. It stinks, but something good came out of it in our case. When I was pg w/ dd dh had lots of stress and problems at work, many of which were beyond his control. He did quit/terminated. This led to the job he has now, which is a better/less stressful job. Well, it was until recently. I think everyone is stressed now. Dh only took off one day when dd was born. He has always been our provider and takes it very seriously. He didnot take 8 days vacation last year because of all the work that needed done. He was not compensated for this. He lost it. He works 60 hours a week at least. He is salary. He was given a big promotion w/ no raise in pay. He is due a yearly bonus and we don't know if he will get it. He just focuses on doing his very best. It's a difficult time in his industry and he knows lots of people out of work. He tries to make himself invaluable. It is very stressful for him. I know its hard on you as well. You'll all get through it and be that much stronger and closer than before. This too shall pass. We all hope. :001_smile: Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 We've done this twice now. Hubby has a knack for getting some unreasonable bosses. Sorry your hubby is going through this. It really takes a toll. My husband had a boss (who was also the owner so no head to go over when things got bad) who frequently would drop a major task (4-8 hours) in his lap between 4 and 5 in the afternoon and expect it the next morning. I can't even tell you how many times he didn't get home until 2,3,4 in the morning. But he didn't quit because if he is fired/laid off, he can collect unemployment, if he quits he can't. (at least this is the rules in our state and we learned the hard way on that one). He was job hunting but nothing was happening so he had to hold on because we needed at least unemployment to make it. Eventually he was fired and we were happy. The job was so bad that we went out to eat to celebrate his getting fired. But God was still with us. All our NEEDS were met, we were sure we would lose our house but God provided in many different ways that we never even missed a payment. So now that you've had a good cry, I hope you are feeling better(it helps me to just get it out). Job or no job, things will go on, you will survive, and God will be in control of it all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5Youngs Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Hang in there. I know that it is very hard, but try not to get upset about things that are completely out of your control. There is always light at the end of the tunnel~ Send that sweet baby loving thoughts and peace, as often as you can. I'll be praying that you will be the calm in the storm for your husband...... You're not alone in this~ :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 I recognize it's mostly hormones, but there is also genuine concern for dh's health (he's been taking meds to calm himself down), stress levels, and sadness that he's so far from being mentally/emotionally ready to welcome this child into the world. HC This is why we have two parents. When one isn't firing on all cylinders, the other one can take up the slack. Rub that big belly of yours and hum lovely tunes. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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