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I have two sons and I told them God made womens' bodies with special things to take care of babies when they're growing in the mommy's tummy. When a baby isn't growing in there, God made a way for the things to come out, kind of like going to the potty, so everything would be nice and fresh if a baby needs it.

 

Probably could've done a better job, but was caught completely off guard! I have one that just won't take "Talk about it later" for an answer!

 

Good luck!

 

Kim

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My ds is 9 and knows what menstruation is. It wasn't a difficult conversation, but then I have farm references to use and he's familiar with what goes on with livestock, so it was really a non-issue.

 

His only questions were: "Does it hurt?" Answer: No.

And, "Will you have to do that forever?" Answer: No. Most women start around age 10-13 and finish around age 45-55.

 

We've always been very matter-of-fact with him in regard to natural biological functions.

Edited by Audrey
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and said "What are these? And what are they for?"

 

I wasn't quite ready to explain that to him. I put him off saying, "I'll tell you later." But I'm not too comfortable with that answer or any other I can think of. What would you do? (I'm sure this will come up again.)

 

 

Some of us believe that it's best to answer as honestly as possible, appropriate to the age, without saying more than the child is wanting to hear.

 

So, in your case, as soon as possible, I would simply say, "Son, I promised to talk to you later today. The things you saw are called tampons and they are used by women once a month during their menstrual cycle which is part of how women are able to have babies." He may not ask for more information. If he does, answer his questions accordingly. Remember, it's not anything lewd or sinful. It's part of how we were designed. Treat it like you would any science lesson. Your son will be better off for your honest answers.

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I explained it to my ds (7). I wasn't horribly graphic, but told him, soon his body would go through changes and he would grow hair in wierd places and start to stink, etc. Then, I explained that one of the changes girls go through is that they start to 'lay eggs' inside their bellies to make babies with and if the eggs don't become babies then they come out and their body washes their belly out with special blood and girls use different things to soak up the blood so it doesn't make a big mess. Gross, I know.

 

Whenever there's a question I'm not ready to answer I tell him to ask me when he has hair under his arms.

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and said "What are these? And what are they for?"

 

I wasn't quite ready to explain that to him. I put him off saying, "I'll tell you later." But I'm not too comfortable with that answer or any other I can think of. What would you do? (I'm sure this will come up again.)

 

my ds found some and asked me! Dh and I had already decided to answer all things pertaining to puberty and s*x naturally - so as to keep lines of communication open, always. So, I just told ds what they were used for and why they were needed, etc. It wasn't at an opportune time to do the topic justice, so the initial explanation was a bit brief. But later, I initiated more explanation. Now, though he's only 10, he talks to me and dh about everything. I see this as being healthy for ds and for our family.

 

Good luck as you decide how to handle things your way,

Cheryl

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When my husband was deployed to Iraq, my children got very worried that I would disappear, too, so they would follow me to the bathroom sometimes.

 

We finally potty trained our 3 year old! (He's almost 4.)

 

When we were still working on it a few weeks ago, we all kept bugging him about if he had to poop or pee.

 

He said, "No, no poop or pee or any red stuff, either."

 

I told him, "I'm glad you don't have any red stuff. If you had red stuff, it would be bad. Mommies just have red stuff sometimes."

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My children know that mom bleeds and those (and pads) are for me. It sounds really gross now that I'm typing it :001_huh: but it doesn't bother them at all.

 

I told my daughter that when she is bigger she will bleed too and she is totally fine with that. I told my ds that he doesn't have to worry about it, only girls and moms and he is fine with that.

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and said "What are these? And what are they for?"

 

I wasn't quite ready to explain that to him. I put him off saying, "I'll tell you later." But I'm not too comfortable with that answer or any other I can think of. What would you do? (I'm sure this will come up again.)

 

I would say that when a female's body matures from child to young woman, the uterus, the special place for growing babies, sloughs off its lining monthly if the young woman does not get pregnant. This sloughing of the uterine lining manifests itself as bleeding from the vagina. This monthly bleeding is referred to as menstruation or period. The woman puts the absorbent cottony plug inside the vagina to catch the blood. Alternatively she may use a paper pad in her panties to soak up the blood flow.

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I would say that when a female's body matures from child to young woman, the uterus, the special place for growing babies, sloughs off its lining monthly if the young woman does not get pregnant. This sloughing of the uterine lining manifests itself as bleeding from the vagina. This monthly bleeding is referred to as menstruation or period. The woman puts the absorbent cottony plug inside the vagina to catch the blood. Alternatively she may use a paper pad in her panties to soak up the blood flow.

 

At 8, the age of the op's son, that much info would have scared the dickens out of our daughter. :tongue_smilie:

 

Everyone's kids are different though - each of us knows how much info our kids are able to handle at various ages. :)

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I have two sons and I told them God made womens' bodies with special things to take care of babies when they're growing in the mommy's tummy. When a baby isn't growing in there, God made a way for the things to come out, kind of like going to the potty, so everything would be nice and fresh if a baby needs it.

 

Probably could've done a better job, but was caught completely off guard! I have one that just won't take "Talk about it later" for an answer!

 

Good luck!

 

Kim

 

For the average young child, this is probably great info. It's enough, but not too much.

 

Ria

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Guest janainaz

My ds did that when he was 7. He found one under the counter in the bathroom and I walked in from grocery shopping and he had it taken apart on the kitchen island and said, "Mom, what IS this?" I just told him they were girl supplies and if I told him, I'd have to kill him. The words "girl supplies" left him totally uninterested.

 

If he REALLY wanted to know and knew some of the other stuff, I might explain it scientifically - high-end without details. Logic tells me that it would be easier to explain it when they are that age as opposed to 12 with raging hormones, or ..... hearing it from friends or peers in a crude and rude way. That I don't want to happen.

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all my kids know what they are. My 5 year old has a habit of reminding me to buy more when we are out grocery shopping. I am in the camp of answering most of my children's honestly but age appropriately, so when they asked about the box of tampons I told them. My older 2 know about menstruation because we have talked about the changes that occur with puberty, my 5 year old knows that mommy's use them when there is no baby in her tummy, and for him that is all he needs to know.

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I don't have any problem with, "Sweetie, it's something that ladies use, and it's private."

 

Not that you don't plan to explain it, but you can pick WHEN you're ready to explain. You can even explain that:

 

"It has to do with the facts of life, and I want to wait until just the right time to explain that. Right now while I'm in between loads of laundry just isn't a good time."

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I guess I am the odd ball here because when something like this pops up, I usually tell my children, that it is not something they need to know about, so don't worry about it. My children know that I give them all the information they need for right now, and that there are some things that they are not ready for. End of story. That is just how I handle it and my kids seem happy with it.

 

Michelle

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our reply has been that "it takes care of normal bleeding in Moms --maybe when you know more about the human body we'll discuss it again."

 

If indeed they ARE ready for a longer talk, then we tend to launch into it. But under 10yo --esp for boys-- that is usually enough. But we don't approach bleeding in general as a bad thing --esp w/ the number of cuts and scrapes in our house :D -- so "taking care of bleeding" explains a lot to them.

 

eta: another great resource is to read the instructions from the box ;)

Edited by Peek a Boo
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Why would you tell your children fetuses develop in a woman's "tummy?" Tummy is a synonym for stomach. If a parent were reluctant to use specific anatomical terms, why not something vague like "special place" as opposed to providing incorrect information?

 

 

not necessarily. when most kids say their tummy hurts, they really mean their GUT --the lower portion of their abdomen. The slang "tummy" can be used to refer to stomach or a protruding belly area.......which is where the womb ends up by 9 months and what most kids picture when thinking about someone being pregnant, lol.

 

 

even m-w.com gives one defintion of "stomach" as c: the part of the body that contains the stomach : belly , abdomen

 

 

so whether the info is "incorrect" or not is up for debate. Gotta be careful when telling someone they are using slang incorrectly ;)

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Why would you tell your children fetuses develop in a woman's "tummy?" Tummy is a synonym for stomach. If a parent were reluctant to use specific anatomical terms, why not something vague like "special place" as opposed to providing incorrect information?

 

 

I always just say "belly" when referring to where a baby grows. As in, "you used to be this little when you were in mama's belly." Hopefully, they will be able to pass biology class. LOL

 

As for the OP, for a question like that at that age, I would just say, "Oh, that's something Mommy uses," and more often than not my son would say, "Oh." If not, I would just tell him a simple version. It's not that I am worried about telling them about it, it's just that the answer would be far more than they would be truly be interested in.

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I told my dc when they were very young as I found scientific truth easier than trying to think of something else.

 

I explained it like this, which they seemed to accept without further questions, although they were younger than your ds is now.

 

I said that Mommy's body has a special place called a uterus where babies grow. Each month the uterus makes a cozy blanket or nest out of tissue and blood in case a baby is going to grow. If there is no baby, Mommy's body sheds the blanket made of blood and tissue so it can make a fresh one for next time. Mommy uses these cotton things called tampons to soak up the blood like a sponge. It isn't bad blood or a boo boo. It's good blood that only women have, it's only a small amount and it doesn't hurt at all.

 

When they were a little older they wanted to know how the blood got out and I told them a small hole that only women's bodies have called a v*g*n* or birth canal that's like a tunnel that leads to the uterus. They did know how babies are born from a mother's body so they were ok with this. I find anatomy lessons easier than stalling. They never seemed to ask questions that they weren't ready for.

 

Because of our science-based conversations they just seem to accept things as they are and have a nice respect for the human body without being embarrassed or weirded out.

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I guess I am the odd ball here because when something like this pops up, I usually tell my children, that it is not something they need to know about, so don't worry about it.

 

I've no compulsion whatsoever to explain tampons ~ even in a remote sense ~ to an 8 year old boy. Even the other day, when I forgot to flush after changing a tampon and my 11 yo came upon the evidence, I didn't explain anything. He asked, "Why was there all that blood & other stuff in the toilet?" and I simply said, "Oh, I was bleeding but don't worry about it." Which was perfectly fine with him; it wasn't as if he was deeply interested.

 

Now, that isn't to say that I intentionally hide facts from my guys, or that I'm going to send them out into the Great Big World not aware of the fact that women menstruate. (Anyway, they know cows mentstruate so it isn't as if they're entirely sheltered.:tongue_smilie:) But I don't think an 8 yo boy needs to know the purpose of a tampon.

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and said "What are these? And what are they for?"

 

I wasn't quite ready to explain that to him. I put him off saying, "I'll tell you later." But I'm not too comfortable with that answer or any other I can think of. What would you do? (I'm sure this will come up again.)

 

Explain it. It's not dirty or embarrassing. I declined my 5-y-o's request to see the hole the baby came out of, but in general, I deal with answering questions as the questions come.

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Why would you tell your children fetuses develop in a woman's "tummy?" Tummy is a synonym for stomach. If a parent were reluctant to use specific anatomical terms, why not something vague like "special place" as opposed to providing incorrect information?

 

not necessarily. when most kids say their tummy hurts, they really mean their GUT --the lower portion of their abdomen. The slang "tummy" can be used to refer to stomach or a protruding belly area.......which is where the womb ends up by 9 months and what most kids picture when thinking about someone being pregnant, lol.

 

 

even m-w.com gives one defintion of "stomach" as c: the part of the body that contains the stomach : belly , abdomen

 

 

so whether the info is "incorrect" or not is up for debate. Gotta be careful when telling someone they are using slang incorrectly ;)

 

:iagree:

 

"Tummy" or "Belly" is *very* often used to refer to the entire abdominal area. :)

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We've always been very matter-of-fact with him in regard to natural biological functions.

 

This is pretty much the way we handle it, too. Although all of our converation has centered around mammals in general, not specifically humans (or more specifically, me). Recently we had to stop at the drugstore for me to pick up some supplies and the boys wanted to know why we had to stop. I told everyone in the car I was menstruating and needed some supplies to fit inside my body so that blood wouldn't leak out and I could swim. Ds9 pipes up from the backseat, "Are you saying that you could still have a baby?!?" I will admit to having an awkward moment. As "up front and open" as I think we are, I wasn't ready for this. Ready or not, though, we had a little impromptu "how to prevent conception" conversation in the car (after dh & I quit laughing, that is).

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Explain it. It's not dirty or embarrassing. I declined my 5-y-o's request to see the hole the baby came out of, but in general, I deal with answering questions as the questions come.

 

Show it. It's not dirty or embarassing.

 

 

:lol:

 

 

I'm not serious! But it is private, as is your period and what you use for your period. Some moms are more private than other moms.

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I probably would have just said "not yours" and left it for a later conversation because he was asking about a thing, not human development. If he had been asking about how babies are made or something I would have had no problem telling him, but he wasn't asking that.

 

I have explained it all to dd7 because she asked. It was no big deal.

Edited by Cadam
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When my 7yo asked just recently, I just told him, without going into details about *where* the tampon did its job (I think I said something about it going in the place where the baby comes out). He kind of gave me a funny look.

Edited by EKS
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I don't use tampons, but I have told my DS at a very young age what such things are for. I also used pictures in a biology book to show him. He did ask to see my parts, but I had to draw the line there. :lol:

When my ds asked to see it I told him it was one of my 'private parts' and we don't show each other those ;) We did use biology pictures though, of course, I was pregnant and that peeks curiousity.

Edited by lionfamily1999
I put dd instead of ds........ that made a lot of sense ;)
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With only one bathroom for the five of us, I don't always have privacy in there. Now that the kids are older, I usually do but not until they were about five. They've seen pads and blood so it was discussed it then at their level. Once a month, women bleed. We aren't sick and we don't need to go to the doctor. It's normal. You'll understand more when you are older.

 

Both my daughter and my son are aware of women's menstrual cycle. My daughter knows more because she's two years older and I had her read the body book by American Girls.

 

Right around the age of 9/10, I intend to cover the other gender and sex in detail. I want them to know about it before they run into it from other people.

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Hmmm. I don't remember a time when my ds *didn't* know what tampons were for. Seriously. I determined when my dc were still crawling that it's simply easier on everyone if we had an open-door policy in the bathroom. As a consequence, from the time my dc were toddlers, they saw tampons (clean and soiled). They think their "yucky", but not any worse than a soiled band-aid would be. We studied the human body, including reproduction/menstruation/"mating" when they were about six years old. And they've always had a theoretical understanding of the whole process, and the "equipment" needed to deal with the flow that comes out of a woman's body when she doesn't become pregnant.

 

Ds is 11 now, and the open-door policy stopped with him a long time ago. But, he knows what tampons are for. He thinks the whole thing is gross, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with them (won't even carry a new box from the grocery bag to the bathroom), but he knows what they are!

 

Our little dd is 3 1/2. She's seen me change them. I've explained that every month, if I don't start making a new baby, then my body doesn't need this blood and other stuff, so it comes out. The tampon and pantiliner catch the stuff so that it doesn't make a mess. Simple.

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Hmmm. I don't remember a time when my ds *didn't* know what tampons were for. Seriously. I determined when my dc were still crawling that it's simply easier on everyone if we had an open-door policy in the bathroom. As a consequence, from the time my dc were toddlers, they saw tampons (clean and soiled). They think their "yucky", but not any worse than a soiled band-aid would be. We studied the human body, including reproduction/menstruation/"mating" when they were about six years old. And they've always had a theoretical understanding of the whole process, and the "equipment" needed to deal with the flow that comes out of a woman's body when she doesn't become pregnant.

 

Ds is 11 now, and the open-door policy stopped with him a long time ago. But, he knows what tampons are for. He thinks the whole thing is gross, and he doesn't want to have anything to do with them (won't even carry a new box from the grocery bag to the bathroom), but he knows what they are!

 

Our little dd is 3 1/2. She's seen me change them. I've explained that every month, if I don't start making a new baby, then my body doesn't need this blood and other stuff, so it comes out. The tampon and pantiliner catch the stuff so that it doesn't make a mess. Simple.

 

Same here - Seriously - I could've written this post. My kids all know what a period is and why women get it. They knew this well before they knew the facts of life. So, I don't think you have to explain everything! Just that women bleed once a month if they aren't pregnant. Tampons help catch the blood just like a bandaid does.

 

I'd like to hear what you did!

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Well, this morning, I said to ds, " Remember when you asked about those things in the bathroom yesterday but I didn't have time to answer? Well, I have more time now." I said, "You know girls and boys bodies are different, right?" And he said, "Ummmm......yeah, I guessss so??" Lol, had he not noticed yet? So I said,"Nature made it so women (and girls when they grow up) can have babies. So when there is a baby inside the mommy's body there needs to be all kinds of things there to help the baby. If no baby is growing, then the body doesn't need it and gets rid of it. It comes out. There is some blood. That's it. Not a big deal. These are to keep it from being too messy." He said," Ouch..." So I told him it doesn't hurt. And I said that only women and not little girls have this, but that everyone's body changes as they get older and his would too. I think he really got into this part of the conversation.:D I said "you'll get more hair all over like Daddy (who is hairy everywhere) and my cute 8 yo ds showed me he "was already getting hair on his legs" . And then he brought up the smelly teenage boys at the hockey rink. Ahhhh....things to look forward to.

 

Anyway, I thought I needed to answer him because I think it's the third time he's asked. He's always accepted the "those are just for mommy" kind of answer, but I thought since it's come up more than once (and with all this advice here) that more of an answer was in order.

 

Thanks all!

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Well, I don't know what you tell boys. I don't think my 44-year old DH has EVER contemplated those "lady things!" ;) Or my brother. Or my dad. But my dd8 knows. I have discussed it with her in the CVS while I was buying them. I SO want to avoid the way I found out. Picture it - We were in the parking lot going in to the Father-Daughter Square Dance and my dad says," One day you will find bl%%% in your pa%%%%%, but it will be OK." Then we went in to the Dance. Hmmm... Boys need to know that women bleed monthly and it is connected to fertility, but I don't think many would appreciate the finer points of tampon-ology! I don't think there is a perfect way to present the info; think of all the generations before us who have bungled through it! I'm sure you will do fine! (better than my DAD!)

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Well, this morning, I said to ds, " Remember when you asked about those things in the bathroom yesterday but I didn't have time to answer? Well, I have more time now." I said, "You know girls and boys bodies are different, right?" And he said, "Ummmm......yeah, I guessss so??" Lol, had he not noticed yet? So I said,"Nature made it so women (and girls when they grow up) can have babies. So when there is a baby inside the mommy's body there needs to be all kinds of things there to help the baby. If no baby is growing, then the body doesn't need it and gets rid of it. It comes out. There is some blood. That's it. Not a big deal. These are to keep it from being too messy." He said," Ouch..." So I told him it doesn't hurt. And I said that only women and not little girls have this, but that everyone's body changes as they get older and his would too. I think he really got into this part of the conversation.:D I said "you'll get more hair all over like Daddy (who is hairy everywhere) and my cute 8 yo ds showed me he "was already getting hair on his legs" . And then he brought up the smelly teenage boys at the hockey rink. Ahhhh....things to look forward to.

 

Anyway, I thought I needed to answer him because I think it's the third time he's asked. He's always accepted the "those are just for mommy" kind of answer, but I thought since it's come up more than once (and with all this advice here) that more of an answer was in order.

 

Thanks all!

Very similar to what I told my ds. It's funny how excited they get about stinky armpits in their future :)

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Well, DD knows all about it and DS would know just as much as her if he was 4 and half when I had a baby!

 

I explained periods to her by using chickens and eggs as an example, and everything else falls into place. The yolk and white are there for a baby chicken, if there is one, but when there is no baby chick, the hen still lays an egg. Same for people, but instead of eggs it looks like blood. A baby chick gets into the egg when a daddy cell from a rooster meets up with it before the hen lays it. If there is no rooster in the hen house then there will not be chicks in the eggs. Those condoms that you found are to keep daddy cells from meeting up with my eggs b/c we don't want babies.

 

Upon finding a tampon and simply asking what it is I would just say that I use them when I am on my period... I wouldn't go into details about how they go inside my body unless that was specifically asked. But, if you have had a baby and explained birth to them then that makes it pretty easy to explain too.

 

I think you did a really good thorough (but not overly) job Woolybear.

Edited by Lovedtodeath
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Perfect opportunity to explain. Honestly, this is a great age. My 3.5 year old follows me to the bathroom and sees me changing menstrual products every month. She always asks and I always explain. "This is something to catch the blood from Mommy's period. Every month, a woman's body builds a nest to grow a baby in. But if there is not a baby growing, her body does not need a nest, so it comes out of her vagina. The tampons absorb it so it does not make a mess.

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Hooray! I'm glad it went so well.

 

Ah, boys. My 11yods is convinced he has six-pack abs, and major biceps, and hairy legs. He simply HAD to have deodorant when he was 10 (but I don't think he uses it -- doesn't need it yet). Of course, if I blink too long, I'll open my eyes to find he has all those things! I'm not ready for my little boy to grow up. It's so strange!

 

Enjoy your little guy while he's still little!

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Hooray! I'm glad it went so well.

 

Ah, boys. My 11yods is convinced he has six-pack abs, and major biceps, and hairy legs. He simply HAD to have deodorant when he was 10 (but I don't think he uses it -- doesn't need it yet). Of course, if I blink too long, I'll open my eyes to find he has all those things! I'm not ready for my little boy to grow up. It's so strange!

 

Enjoy your little guy while he's still little!

My ds checks his pits every day for hair :)

 

He had a sore throat the other week and got a little hoarse. He was POSITIVE it was puberty and his voice was changing. Lol!

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My 3.5 year old follows me to the bathroom and sees me changing menstrual products every month.

 

I find this interesting - others have mentioned similar, that their kids have actually seen them using the "girl stuff" because of open doors and such...

 

I didn't know what these things were until I was...eh...10, I think. Open bathroom doors just didn't go on in our house - it was a privacy thing. Nor do they go on in ours (dh, kids and I) today - dd12 has never seen me use anything like that. She'd have been disgusted! :001_huh: (as would I have been if I'd seen my mother or stepmother doing that when I was a kid. Ewww!)

 

(She knows what they are, what they're for, why, etc - after all, she's 12 - because we've talked about it, before anyone wonders about that.)

 

I'm not saying it's a bad thing - everyone decides what's right for their family - I just find it interesting because it's so opposite to what is familiar to me. :)

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Well, this morning, I said to ds, " Remember when you asked about those things in the bathroom yesterday but I didn't have time to answer? Well, I have more time now." I said, "You know girls and boys bodies are different, right?" And he said, "Ummmm......yeah, I guessss so??" Lol, had he not noticed yet? So I said,"Nature made it so women (and girls when they grow up) can have babies. So when there is a baby inside the mommy's body there needs to be all kinds of things there to help the baby. If no baby is growing, then the body doesn't need it and gets rid of it. It comes out. There is some blood. That's it. Not a big deal. These are to keep it from being too messy." He said," Ouch..." So I told him it doesn't hurt. And I said that only women and not little girls have this, but that everyone's body changes as they get older and his would too. I think he really got into this part of the conversation.:D I said "you'll get more hair all over like Daddy (who is hairy everywhere) and my cute 8 yo ds showed me he "was already getting hair on his legs" . And then he brought up the smelly teenage boys at the hockey rink. Ahhhh....things to look forward to.

 

Anyway, I thought I needed to answer him because I think it's the third time he's asked. He's always accepted the "those are just for mommy" kind of answer, but I thought since it's come up more than once (and with all this advice here) that more of an answer was in order.

 

Thanks all!

 

 

Sounds like you - and your son - handled that conversation well. Excellent job, Mama! :001_smile:

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I wanted my kids to know about periods from an early age so they wouldn't be freaked out by it, so when they were little I would say, "mommy's bleed a little every month when they aren't pregnant. It doesn't hurt, and it can be a little messy, so that helps to keep it all clean." Very matter of fact. Not too much info. My son doesn't really get it all, but he (age 10) knows the general idea.

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My boys are 5, 9 and 12. They all know on an age appropriate level about periods and where babies come from and such.

 

We are just very open about things. I don't want the kids to be embarrassed to ask things. So I am just very matter of fact.

 

Today I told the kids I will take them swimming tomorrow but that I would just be watching this week.

 

My 9 year old pipes up, "Oh, are you on your period?"

I replied, "Yes, I am."

He said, "Didn't you just have one of those last month, I thought you only got them once a year?"

I said, "No such luck, once a month."

 

And that was that........

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