I'm surprised at few of you get asked why you homeschool...

[battlemaiden]

Reading the post about what you say when people ask, "why do you homeschool," many of you said people rarely ask.

 

Is it just me that gets this question all the time?

 

Seriously, it is a rare week that I don't get asked- maybe every other week. I suppose this may occur because I will talk to just about anybody- in lines at the store, at the park, in the street, etc. :o

 

But I was really surprised that so few people are asking. Maybe they look at me and naturally think, "What the HECK was she thinking!" LOL :)

 

Jo

[JudoMom]

Reading the post about what you say when people ask, "why do you homeschool," many of you said people rarely ask.

 

Is it just me that gets this question all the time?

 

Seriously, it is a rare week that I don't get asked- maybe every other week. I suppose this may occur because I will talk to just about anybody- in lines at the store, at the park, in the street, etc. :o

 

But I was really surprised that so few people are asking. Maybe they look at me and naturally think, "What the HECK was she thinking!" LOL :)

 

Jo

 

I didn't answer the other thread, but I rarely get asked.

 

First theory: I live in a community where homeschooling is quite common.

 

Second theory: When someone asks where the boys go to school and I answer with "we homeschool", and they respond with some variation of "really?", then I respond right off the bat with a version of "Yes, it works for us right now" so I never give them a chance to ask.

[Beth in Central TX]

I rarely get asked why we homeschool, but I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because there is a school district in our area that you don't want to send your children to, so they assume we live in that ISD.

[Mrs Mungo]

I get asked all the time. Although, I have to admit when the cashier at the gas station asks I'm really tempted to say something other than "it works for us."

[Michele in New Zealand]

I get asked all the time! All the time. It's unreal.

 

I have started to say stupid stuff like ...."So I can sleep in, I would never make it to school on time." Now my eldest is at school, that doesn't work so well. ;)

[Tap]

I don't get asked by people outside of the homeschooling community much, but I get asked quite often by other homeschoolers.

 

I help out a lot of new homeschoolers and they are usually the most curious.

 

I share out reasons with anyone who wants to hear them. Our reason is fairly simple...DS13 asked in 5th grade if we could. We made a deal that we would try it for 3mths and if either one of us wanted to stop we could. His private school held his seat for him (the dean was very sad to see ds leave the school) and within 2 mths we knew it was exactly what we were looking for. Ds wanted to homeschool because he wanted to waste less time waiting for other kids to get their work done and he wanted to have more time to study subjects that interested him.

[Remudamom]

All I can say is it's a small community around here, people know me, they value their lives.

[Excelsior! Academy]

We rarely get asked because it is pretty common around here. But if I get the socialization question one more time I am tempted to respond with "We're against it." I just want to see the reaction on their faces!:D

 

Seriously, they aren't even asking the question they are intending to.

[Tracey in TX]

A large percentage of people who've asked us actually say they've considered it. Two families are watching us and waiting until summer to decide if it's right for them. Guess that makes us guinea pigs :)

I don't mind answering, because most people are kind and curious.

[Mama Lynx]

I rarely get asked "why."

 

More often, when someone asks where my kids go to school, and I respond they they are homeschooled, I'm either met with, "Really? That's great!" Or a horror story about some other kid who homeschooled and was ruined for life.

 

Generally naysayers don't ask me "why." They just feel free to tell me all about their disapproval and skepticism. They will ask me questions about HOW I do things, but they don't care about "why." They ASSUME I do it to shelter my kids from the world.

 

The last one was a waitress in a fairly nice restaurant. We could not avoid her, but we could control her tip. She was "kind" enough to show her skepticism when I answered that, yes, I *do* teach them myself, and do not hire tutors for everything. :rolleyes:

[Mrs. H.]

1. Oh, my *insert friend's sister's family member's name here* does that too. Her kids are so weird. :p

 

2. Really? I could never do that. My kids drive me crazy, and I only have *insert small number here*.

 

3. You must be *super patient, organized, crazy, etc*. This is usually the point where I have to peel my 3 yr. old off the cash register or something else horribly embarassing.

 

I've never been asked why. Church schools (in small churches) are really common around here, so I think people see us (long hair, skirts, etc.) and assume we attend one of those churches.

[readwithem]

Same here, plus TX makes hs'ing so easy. I think everybody knows SOMEBODY who homeschools.

[Liz CA]

Reading the post about what you say when people ask, "why do you homeschool," many of you said people rarely ask.

 

Is it just me that gets this question all the time?

 

Seriously, it is a rare week that I don't get asked- maybe every other week. I suppose this may occur because I will talk to just about anybody- in lines at the store, at the park, in the street, etc. :o

 

But I was really surprised that so few people are asking. Maybe they look at me and naturally think, "What the HECK was she thinking!" LOL :)

 

Jo

 

they can tell we are nuts, so they don't even ask!

You are probably right. Since you naturally talk to people, the subject comes up and I think people these days are so surprised every time they see a *larger* family. I never get asked with just one child/young man now.

My friend who homeschooled seven at one point was asked a lot.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't get asked so much now because I don't meet that many new people! Many people will ask my dc what grade they are in, they just tell them the grade number (even if we don't really go by "grade" as such). We don't volunteer the homeschooling thing.

 

I'm not out in the community that much during school hours. On occasion I've been asked why my kids are not in school. I just tell them that our school is out that day - "teacher inservice"!

 

My neighbors all know that I homeschool. I must be "famous" in the neighborhood because the last new neighbor who moved in said, when I introduced myself, "Oh, so YOU are the HOMESCHOOL mom!"

[Janna]

I have never, not once, been asked why we home school.

 

But I'm not usually out and about during "normal school hours" for someone to wonder why the kids aren't in school.

 

People have asked the kids where they go to school and my kids will say, "We're home schooled," but I've never been asked why. Usually the response is, "Oh, I could never do that" or else they ask the kids if they like it.

 

Now watch. Because I posted this, I'm going to be bombarded with people asking me - demanding from me - why I home school, LOL!

[Anne in Hawaii]

~ "What about socialization?" Smarty pants me wants to say, "Oh, no! I never thought of that! Guess it's back to the drawing board!"

 

~ "What curriculum do you use?" or "Where do you find your materials?" This question bugs me because most of the time the person asking couldn't tell me what curriculum their child's school uses, and they don't really care where I get my stuff -- just that it comes from some "approved" source.

 

~ "I could never do that!" I also say, "Yeah, that's what I used to think, too."

 

~ "I'm not that patient." And I try really hard not to wet my pants laughing at that one. :D

[PariSarah]

I rarely get asked "why."

 

More often, when someone asks where my kids go to school, and I respond they they are homeschooled, I'm either met with, "Really? That's great!" Or a horror story about some other kid who homeschooled and was ruined for life.

 

Generally naysayers don't ask me "why." They just feel free to tell me all about their disapproval and skepticism. They will ask me questions about HOW I do things, but they don't care about "why." They ASSUME I do it to shelter my kids from the world.

 

Yup. I'd say 95% of the time, I get, "Oh, that's great!" plus maybe a silly comment or two. ("Oh, you must be very smart, young man!" or "You must have a great teacher, there, kid!") Occasionally, I get, "Now, how does that work in NC, because my daughter is thinking about it. . . "

 

Rarely, I get somebody that opines at liberty--why it's great, why it's a bad idea, what we should be doing and how.

 

But almost never do people probe my reasons. When they do, I usually mention something about keeping ds bilingual, and everybody thinks that's just ducky. (I'm sure they'd think otherwise if I were an immigrant family trying to maintain my home culture, but since I'm white and trying to maintain an academically useful language, they eat it up. :rolleyes:)

[GothicGyrl]

I think the reason I don't get asked so much is because there are two camps that exist here:

 

1--the "I really do not care" camp--who, if asked and get the response, just go "ok" and leave us alone

 

or

 

2--the "really? wow, good for you. It's about time because these schools nowadays.............." --this is usually by the older group of people who were either "homeschooled" themselves (eg: only went to one room school houses back in the day when it was just during non-harvest season, so the rest of the year they were "taught" by mom) or the older group of people who recognize what pisspoor school systems we have and am actually glad that this option exists.

 

I've met exactly ONE retired teacher who challenged me and that didn't last long once I questioned how "positive" her socialization was in her classroom. She had no choice but to admit it wasn't positive and promptly shut up.

 

All of the teachers at my DH's school who know us, know we homeschool and support us insomuch as they even give us textbooks they are no longer using! His own Principal supports it!!!

 

I just don't get any negativity and the one or two times I did, it was very easy to squelch. And I like it that way.

[Scarlett]

Today my dentist asked me 'how is that homeschooling going?' I told him fine and that we love it. He then started talking about math and asked if I had resources for upper level math in case I needed it. I told him yes, and eventually I figure we will have a tutor around around house. He nodded and then told me that his son had a calculus teacher in high school who basically did not teach the material AT ALL, but that his son was able to teach himself from the book. That son is now a chemical engineer working for Dow. So, he pointed out, your son might not even need a tutor even if you don't know the material well.

 

Reading back over that makes it sound like he was condenscending to me, but honestly he wasn't. He was having a real conversation about real challenges....and conceding that the same challenges apply in public school settings.

 

I am not often asked by total strangers WHY we homeschool. They do ask 'is school out' or 'where do you go to school?' and in that way they sometimes learn we homeschool. The conversation usually does not go past a light hearted, 'do you like your teacher?'

 

I saw an classmate from highschool the other day and she asked me why. I gave her my reasons---which are many and she really didn't have much to say. She is a sub teacher and both her teenage kids are really into the system, so I doubt she thinks it is a good idea.

 

Basically I give my reasons without apologizing.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

~ "What about socialization?" Smarty pants me wants to say, "Oh, no! I never thought of that! Guess it's back to the drawing board!"

 

~ "What curriculum do you use?" or "Where do you find your materials?" This question bugs me because most of the time the person asking couldn't tell me what curriculum their child's school uses, and they don't really care where I get my stuff -- just that it comes from some "approved" source.

 

~ "I could never do that!" I also say, "Yeah, that's what I used to think, too."

 

~ "I'm not that patient." And I try really hard not to wet my pants laughing at that one. :D

 

I have interpreted the curriculum sourcing question differently. I always took that to mean that they really had no idea where one would go to get textbooks and other stuff. With the underlying question "Do you have to make all that up yourself?" I think that people are relieved to hear that there are lots of sources, including amazon that sell stuff. I also think that here in Hawaii, there is also the undercurrent that many, many classrooms don't have books.

 

To the I could never do that and I'm not that patient questions, I've stopped beating around the bush. I tell people now that I struggle with a lack of patience and sometimes with sarcasm and that God has really used our homeschooling as a way to correct these flaws.

[Audrey]

I don't get asked why I homeschool, even though I'm the only homeschooler in our little town. I think it may have to do with the fact that people don't quite know what to say when I say "we homeschool." It may also have to do with the fact that when I say "we homeschool," I do so in a way that indicates that portion of the conversation is now over. (And, just FYI, I don't say it snotty or rude, but I do have a certain "way" that I've cultivated that lets people know we are now changing the subject, so to speak).

 

I actually do like talking about homeschooling, but I don't like having to defend it, KWIM? I also know that I can't get passionate about homeschooling with people who send their kids to town school, because I certainly wouldn't want them telling me how "fabulous, fantastic and just plain perfect" public school is. And, for me, it's hard not to be passionate about homeschooling when I talk about it.

[kat19]

and we tend to be out and about quite often..

We do get "Oh there is no school today" and we just say "We home school" then they just leave it at that..

[battlemaiden]

Having read through the replies, I can see that people were taking the "why" much more literally than I was. I have indeed been asked, "WHY do you homeschool", but more often I'm peppered with logistical, philosophical, and personal questions about our choice to homeschool. Many of you mentioned that people don't ask you "why?" but ask you "how?". I would agree that this happens more often than not. Add that to that fact that I can talk to a stump :o- seriously I just LOVE meeting people from all walks of life.

 

My husband gets asked about our choice to homeschool a lot. He also gets challenged by his colleagues about the ability to give a quality education- of course he is surrounded by engineers! ;)

 

I can see that our exposure to wide varieties of people not associated with homeschooling or church makes us more of an oddity than most. Nobody in our church has ever asked me anything about homeschooling except what we use (curriculums).

 

It's starting to make a little more sense.

 

Thanks everybody!!!

 

Jo

[Doran]

...I usually mention something about keeping ds bilingual, and everybody thinks that's just ducky. (I'm sure they'd think otherwise if I were an immigrant family trying to maintain my home culture, but since I'm white and trying to maintain an academically useful language, they eat it up. :rolleyes:)

 

ROFL! But, a sad truth at the same time.

 

We get "What, no school today?" just about everyday. "Why" or "How" come much less often. Must be these brass knuckles I wear -- people are just disinclined to mess in my business. Seriously, I am happy to offer replies as time and circumstance permit. Sometimes it's best for me to just say something quick like, "It's a better fit for our kids than public school." But, if the person seems genuinely interested or perplexed (or both), I am more than happy to pull out my soap box and give my whole schpeel. By the time I'm finished, they may be sorry they asked.

 

Talking to stumps, Jo? Not sure you ought to bring that up in your homeschool discussions. But, it sure makes for a great mental image. :D

 

Doran

[Colleen]

I chat with a myriad of people, too. I'm rarely out and about with my children during traditional school hours, though, and homeschooling is not too terribly uncommon in this neck of the woods. No one has ever asked me point-blank why I homeschool ~ I seriously doubt anyone cares. When people do find out I homeschool, the response is nearly always one of the following: "Cool!", "Good for you!", or "I wish my mom would have homeschooled me!" (this last one typical heard on the ski slopes on a weekday.:))

[Daisy]

I get asked all the time too. I think it's because not many homeschool in my immediate circle. Not many folks in my church homeschool so I get it frequently there. Oh, but even more annoying is that I'm asked ALL the time by homeschooling families why I don't go through the public school homeschooling charter. Do they really want me to answer that? I get so tired of that question b/c it is almost always an accusation.

[JWSJ]

Most of the time our son gets asked an indirect question like, "What grade are you in?' or "What school do you go to?"

 

He'll smile and say he's homeschooled.

 

Usually, the questioner is supportive. (And I bet they already knew we HSed.)

[gardenschooler]

I rarely get asked, and it was even rare when I was regularly out and about with two or three young (but obviously school aged) children. We used to have regular days out - Monday was the zoo, Wednesday was the libary, etc.

 

Now, we are usually only out on Tuesdays, but we still don't get asked. Sometimes we go shopping after our co-op on Tuesdays, and still, no questions or even funny looks. The part of town where our co-op is has tons of homeschoolers, so that may be why.

 

Homeschooling is very rare in our neighborhood, but we still don't get asked. Even the *police* don't ask my kids anything when we go out bike-riding or for a walk during the day. I guess they just look at the kids, see me with them, and assume we homeschool. Dd13 has occasionally been out by herself to walk her dog at lunchtime, still no questions. And because we are near a lot of schools, the police are supposed to be on the lookout for truants. Yet we've never been approached. We must really, really look like homeschoolers!

 

Dd13 is now going to a nearby college to workout two mornings a week with a friend of mine (and she definitely does not look like a homeschool mom :p), so we'll see. But it's been a few weeks already, and still, no questions.

 

There have been a few times that my dds have been asked where they go to school (at a new ortho's office, things like that), and no one raises an eyebrow when they tell them that they're homeschooled. I think it's just very common now, even if you're not in TX!

 

When we first moved into this neighborhood (about 7 years ago), I would get asked by neighbors, "So, your kids will be going to (school right down the street, one of the few "good" schools in the city that people actually used to have to camp out in line to get their kids transferred into), right?" When I told them no, that we homeschool, instead of asking why, they would inevitably respond with a list of why that wonderful school wasn't really so wonderful once you're on the inside. I usually didn't know *how* I was supposed to reply to this - it didn't feel right to join in. It was pretty uncomfortable, until I got used to it.

 

As a matter of fact, when I told one neighbor of mine (who has four children who have gone through these schools as straight A students, and she's heavily involved with the PTA) that my oldest wanted to attend the high school the next year, her response was, "Oh, Why?"

She tried to talk me out of it!!! It was good warning for what the future held, though.

 

I think the fact that our local schools are not the greatest keeps people from asking why we homeschool, too.

 

Or maybe I just have a crazy look in my eye, and they're afraid. :eek:

[OhM]

But one mom in our GS troop has the funniest response whenever our hs-ing comes up - her eyes get very big and she plasters a very creepy-looking smile on her face. (She really looks as if she's watching me sprout another head or something) and says some variation of "that's ni-i-i-ice" coupled with a form of "well, let's get away from this topic right quick!"

 

I never know if she's trying so hard to bite back a negative comment, or if she's fighting some internal bias that she holds against homeschoolers. Maybe she's not fighting a bias, and she's just trying to be nice while thinking, "I knew they were weird!"

[GreenKitty]

Twice, I have gotten asked why we homeschool. Both times I responded that 'we do what works for us'. Both people were snotty to begin with.

 

We do get other comments though. Such as

'Don't your kids have school'

'Are your kids out today'

'No school today'

'I can't wait till break is over so the kids can go back to school'

 

Sometime I will hang around and say they are homeschooled and then I get comments like,

 

'I would kill my kids if I had to stay home all day'

'I homeschooled for year but my kids really needed to socialize with others'

'I could not be around my kids all the time'

 

to which I respond 'That's too bad' then walk away. It depends on my mood. I will also respond, 'Yes, they have school today' and then walk away. Though other times I look all at them with wild eyes and turn to the kids to say 'You have school today!':eek: And then walk out quickly. :p

[PinkInTheBlue]

I get some sort of question from time to time. Nothing more than the usuals you have all listed. However, my biggest annoyance is that we don't homeschool the 'usual' route for here in Alabama. The state has no system for allowing or disallowing homeschooling so everyone has made up their own system, and thereby belief. I believe that method is unnecessary and heavily abused by providers so I just don't use it. When I tell other homeschoolers I don't do what they do they get this slightly horrified look in their eyes and start looking around like the police, education board and child services are going to show up at any moment. And then here I am annoyed once again that people aren't looking at the law for themselves and making their own decisions. :rolleyes:

 

But then again, I'm a bit of a rebel that way. ;)

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I get asked all the time too. I think it's because not many homeschool in my immediate circle. Not many folks in my church homeschool so I get it frequently there. Oh, but even more annoying is that I'm asked ALL the time by homeschooling families why I don't go through the public school homeschooling charter. Do they really want me to answer that? I get so tired of that question b/c it is almost always an accusation.

 

Oh, I have no problem answering that one. I spent three years justifying every book that we wanted reimbursed under a homeschooling allowance program (though not a charter school). The fact that I had a masters in education and worked with my children on a daily basis meant less than the fact that their books didn't meet the norms for kindergarten and first grade. We finally had to get a gifted assessment in order to be repaid for the books we were actually using.

 

What a charter school might be offering is not enough for me to go back to a system where a stranger has fiscal veto power over my curriculum choices.

 

Having said that, I love the homeschoolers I know who are using a local charter program. I would never turn them away from a conference or a coop just because they are under the charter school. But I have occasionally asked them what they get out of it and if it's really worth it. I usually get uncomfortable silence as a response.

[Scarlett]

I just have to say, not all Charter Schools are created equal. I have no complaints about the way ours is handled. No one bugs me. They send materials...I use them and add to them. They let my ds skip 2nd grade math. I read the science and history and edit out as I see fit...but no curriculum out there would eliminate that problem for me.

 

What I get out of it is for starters it is free. Mainly though my dh feels more comfortable with it instead of us being totally on our own.

 

And Daisy, I've asked a few homeschoolers that question too...one on this board. And I wasn't being accusatory at all...I just thought it might be a solution to a financial situation. It still perplexes me why people are so against Charters. Especially the particular one I use which as I said has been great.

[Plaid Dad]

The only time it really comes up for us is when someone asks dd where she goes to school. Maybe it's just that she's still young and small for her age, so people don't immediately peg her as a kid who "should" be in school during the day. It will be interesting to see if this changes as she gets older.

[Janet in WA]

I hardly ever got asked. But I don't think I gave off vibes that invited that kind of questioning.