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OK, yesterday was the hardest day to have ds gone


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Yesterday was his 19th birthday. He spent the day in classes and studying for a couple of big tests this week (Calc 2, Chem 2). I made a cake and we ate it in his honor:D

 

My youngest really, really had a hard time with it. Birthdays are always an event around here usually lasting several days (birthday with grandparents, birthday party with friends, birthday party with family, etc.) so this was a big deviation from standard procedure.

 

Anyways, I hope those of you with kiddos at college are hanging in there. I was a bit surprised at my own reaction to this. My head wasn't communicating very well with my heart :001_huh:

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mine is only 16 and still at home but drove all by himself to CC class for first time today and I am anxiously awaiting his return in an hour. I can't imagine how I will manage when he heads off in a year and a half. Hope you are feeling a bit better today. Give those who are still at home extra hugs in his honor.

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My daughter called me at 4:45 to let me know she hadn't been able to get out of bed all day, because she was sick (dizziness, sore throat, etc.). This is the second time she's been sick this semester.

 

I bullied her into getting up and crawling downstairs to find an RA or staff member to take her to a doctor, then walked around with my cell phone attached to my hand waiting for her to let me know what was going on.

 

It turns out it's probalby nothing serious. She went back to the dorm last night with a prescription and instructions to come back to the doctor this afternoon for some follow-up testing. But, I'll tell you what, it took everything I had not to grab my car keys and start that 12-hour drive after the first phone call.

 

We're lucky that this one's birthday is in December, so she's been home on semester break each year. However, my son's birthday is in March, and I'm already dreading having him away.

 

Hang in there, Cynthia. It does get better.

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:grouphug::grouphug:all around! We'll be getting a bit of a preview of the missing birthday kid...

 

This year ds will turn 18 on March 6, and will not home for most of the weekend. He has to attend a scholars selection weekend at UMBC, which is great, but the timing is pulling at my heart because I know we may have already had his last real birthday at home.

 

We will celebrate on Sunday afternoon and we have always been a family that celebrates whenever we can work out the best day for a party, but for some reason this one is getting to me. I think it is because its the BIG 18 and he won't be home....phooey.

 

Think I'll get a few extra hugs in there today!

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There are all sorts of legal things associated with the actual date. I was away for my 21st. I wonder if my mother minded. I think that is the only birthday in my entire life that I haven't celebrated with my parents. And I think this year will be the first that my oldest isn't with us, when his comes around. My middle one turned 14 in Japan without us, but I was having such a hard time that whole three months that I don't remember feeling any worse on his actual birthday.

 

My older one is sick for the umpteenth time and his roommate, who is his best friend there, had to be switched and neither of them like their new roommates yet, although they don't appear to be awful, and a few other things happened... and he is pretty miserable at the moment. He managed to pass another big exam, though, which is good, and says his public school seems to have taught him to bang out a reasonable paper without much effort, which he is relieved about because literature and papers aren't his thing and he has this pesky liberal arts requirement GRIN. The school is well aware of this, apparently, and has a Technology and Society class, which he says is rather interesting. He was seriously dreading this bit. It was a major reason he decided he didn't want to go to college in the first place. The rest of his classes are going ok, too. Phew. We saw him this weekend, and we're all counting the weeks until spring break. Now if only he could manage to stay well... Jenny, it must be really, really hard not to run look after your daughter, young as she is.

 

The spring semester always seems so much longer than the fall one. And mine isn't coming home until August. I seem to be getting used to the idea of his working away from home, though, which is good. It probably won't make it any easier when it happens, but at least I don't feel sick every time I think about it anymore. And the upside of that is that he and his brother are likely to continue living at home until they are married. When they are actually home.

 

It is hard. Lots of hugs for everyone...

-Nan

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Our ds told us the other day that, even though he misses us, loves us, and likes to spend time with us, he is going to FL for spring break. We are happy for him - it is with a very good friend of his whose family lives in Tampa, away from all the wild partying. We've met his friend and like him, and we've heard enough about his parents to be fine with the situation. But ... I wasn't expecting this for his freshman year!

 

He won't be home for his birthday in April, either. Maybe we can drive down and surprise him!

 

Hugs to all who are missing theirs.

 

GardenMom

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Zits is one of our favorite comic strips. My 12yo rushes through the paper every day to find it so we can get a chuckle, usually at Jeremy's expense (also helps that his 17yo brother must be Jeremy's long lost brother).

 

I also loved the one last Sunday re: overstuffed washing machine.

 

Thanks for sharing,

Brenda

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Last year my ds turned 15 while he was at ROTC leadership camp. He wasn't even allowed to call because not cell phones were allowed at all the whole week. It was very hard for me. He was pretty busy and knew we'd celebrate when he got home. They all sang to him at camp and he got extra chocolate cake. But I was home missing him and wanting to at least say Happy Birthday.

 

He may go again this year and we'll miss his 16th birthday. Ahhh. Then he's off to 6 weeks of ballet summer intensive.

 

Blessings to you.

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Birthdays are a big deal for us as well. The first time one of my children weren't home for their birthday was my second son's 19th. He was in training for the Marine Corp. After that, he was deployed to Iraq for seven months.

 

It was the hardest time of my life and I learned what "praying without ceasing" really meant. He is in Japan now and on the General's staff, so he is supposed to be "non-deployable" for the rest of his term. Of course, with the military, this could change.

 

My dh and I could not understand why he would join the military in the middle of wartime. This is a kid who was extremely bright, started the Great Books at about 12 (and read them over and over), finished Wheelocks Latin in the 9th grade, etc. He could have succeeded and excelled in college. He told us he felt "called" to join the Marine Corp and after a summer of waiting and praying about it, he joined the Marine Corp.

 

What I have found to help me with this process of growing off kids, is to remember that ultimately they belong to God and are ours "on loan." I dedicated him to God when he was a baby and I had to remember that. I had to give him back to God daily when he was in Iraq and my mother instincts were screaming.

 

He has grown up immensely during this time, and has come to appreciate all that his dh and I have done for him and tells us this frequently. He is taking college courses while in Japan and is in the process of writing a book. I know he will do well in life even if the path he chose was not one I would have chosen for him.

 

It was much easier when they were toddlers (although I wouldn't have thought so then!)

 

:grouphug: to all who are missing their children. I'm right there with you.

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So sad. My kids are only 3 and 6 and I wish I could stop time so much. I already hurt at the idea of them moving away.

 

When my 1st son was only 3 months old we were invited to a wedding and I had to go in the bathroom and cry because I realized that one day he would leave me to get married.

 

Big hugs to you who are missing your grown up little ones.

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What I have found to help me with this process of growing off kids, is to remember that ultimately they belong to God and are ours "on loan." .

 

This is SO very true! I've had to remind myself of that a lot lately since my oldest left for college. Dh & I dedicated him to God even before he was born, and I know God has great plans for him. I just have to remember that God loves him even more than I do -- which is a LOT!

 

It was much easier when they were toddlers (although I wouldn't have thought so then!).

 

Yes! This is also very true. When they were toddlers, I was tired a lot, but also very happy. They were under our roof every night, and I felt so secure, knowing that they were safe. When they leave home, you lose that. But that's when you have to keep reminding yourself that God is taking care of them, and since He loves them even more than you do, He can take care of them better than you can.

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