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I know. It's been asked to death...Do you let your teens sleep, or do you wake them?


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Ds goes to bed on time, but of late, needs every bit of 11 hours of sleep a night. He is growing leaps and bounds, and has passed me.

 

I just went into his room to awaken him, but truly do not have the heart to do it. He's zzzzzzzzzzing his little head off.

 

My problem is that later in the day, I'm going to lose it because our school day doesn't begin before 10 and I feel like we're playing catch up for the rest of the day. His sleeping doesn't let him have much free time in the afternoon, if we are to get all that we must get done in a day. As a result, I give him some down time and school drags on, or never gets completely done in one day. Things carry over to the next day.

 

Thanks for the vent. Suggestions are welcome. :bigear:

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DS also needs about that amount of sleep. But, generally, he goes to bed according to what time he needs to get up.

 

He gets up at 7:30 or 8:00. If he wants all of 11 hours, he needs to be in bed 11 hours before he wakes up. Most nights he's in bed by 8:30.

 

Sleep is very important for teens, so I think you're right in allowing him to get what he needs. But if he's staying up until 11:00, and then can't get up, I'd suggest moving his bedtime back.

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You're just going to have to pick what works for you...letting him sleep in or getting schoolwork done earlier in the day. Until you choose, you're stuck.

 

We have an inbetween going on. I don't care when they get up as long as certain things are done by a certain time. School is their business so they can figure out when to get the work part done (teaching is done in the morning PERIOD). My Ds ASKS before moving anything to the next day (my daughter had longer time periods to have things done by and those stuck as she could maneuver anything anyway she wanted).

 

So you can:

 

1) have him go to bed early enough to get up on your time table (I don't see an issue with this)

2) let him sleep in as much as he personally needs to (I also don't see an issue with this).

3) compromise. You want him up by X so he goes to bed at Y, but that is still 2 hours later than your ideal.

 

One thing I would do before making a rule though would be to tell him your completely concern with how things are going (or would go if you let him do as he seems to want to). Then tell him that you would like him to, by Saturday maybe, come up with a way to answer your concerns. You can tell him you have a couple ideas but would rather him find the solution that works best for him.

 

I just don't like CONTROLLING teens past what one might have to (meaning it depends on the teen). I also like them being able to get practice in thinking through problems and making good choices.

 

Anyway, hope that helps a little :)

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I agree. He is going to bed between 8:30 and 8:45 with no arguement. He is an angel, really. In fact, I'm gonna go kiss him right now! :)

 

If he's going to bed at 8:30 and 8:45 and getting 11 hours of sleep, shouldn't he be waking up at 7:30 ish?

 

If he is, and he's still not getting school started until 10:00, then it sounds like the problem isn't the amount of sleep he needs, but the wasting of time from 7:30 until 10:am.

 

maybe you could help him streamline his morning routine a bit.

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My problem is that later in the day, I'm going to lose it because our school day doesn't begin before 10 and I feel like we're playing catch up for the rest of the day.

 

That is a problem. :glare:

What is your definition of playing catchup?

First I would define that.

And then adjust my definition ;) to accommodate time started.

 

Things carry over to the next day.

 

 

So what. ;) This is okay.

 

It just depends on what your priorities are.

Sounds as if you are wanting what you can't have.

I would suggest you adjust your day, priorities.

 

But to answer your questions, yes, we let them sleep.

 

Did you wake the little babies up? No? Why not? ...hmmm....

Teens are just (big) babies.

Why would you wake them?

Because something else is more important?

 

That's what I would consider.

 

What is so important that would purposely stop the baby from getting enough sleep?

What is so important to intentionally induce sleep deprivation?

 

Those are things I would consider, and then based on my thoughts, priorities, goals, the answer would tend to present itself.

 

:)

 

:seeya:

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I think it's really odd that he sleeps that much, and I wonder if it's become a habit more than a true need. One way or the other, there's no way I'd wait around until 10 in the morning to start school and then have it run into the evening. Sounds awful to me. But to answer your specific question, I don't wake my one teen. He gets up at 6 to go out and work. Working outside in the morning will always be the routine around here. Even without that, though, I'd want people up by 7 or so.

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I let my 14 yodd sleep, but just this year she has begun setting her alarm for the days she needs to get up earlier, to be at band practice, for instance. On the days she has no outside activities, I let her sleep until she wakes up naturally. Like another poster mentioned, she often does some of her work in the late evenings because she is a night owl. She has been this way since she was about 10. It used to bother me, but now I don't fight it. If she can stay up late and still be even-tempered and productive during the day, it's fine with me. That said, she does most of her work independently, so she's not dependent on me and my schedule for her schooling. The older she gets, the more I let her manage her own time, and she's done well with that, so we just include her sleep schedule into that set-up.

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I think it's really odd that he sleeps that much, and I wonder if it's become a habit more than a true need.
Wow, if that's odd, then a majority of teens I know are odd! What do you base that theory on?

 

Teens bodies are changing and they're growing, and often need the extra sleep. My 15yo has always needed more sleep than my other two. It's how he's made, not that he's odd and has a bad habit!

 

To answer the question, I let them sleep. We get everything done we need to get done pretty much every day. If we don't we adjust to get it done the next day.

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I like the *idea* of letting them sleep 'as much as they need', lol...but the truth is, there are situations where it will jam up other folks' day to let them sleep until they wake up.

 

We don't have chickens at the moment, and so there's no real 'need' for their chores to be done early (if kids want animals, they have to share in their care)...but sometimes there are things I need them to do, or things that they want done early (so that they can get to their 'free' time), so it works best to wake them by a certain time.

 

On the rare occasions I've let them sleep 'till they wake up, at least one of my teens has said, in an shocked way, "Why didn't you wake me?!" :-)

 

I believe that teens need extra sleep, too...but my bent is towards backing bedtime up, rather than extending waketime. (No one really cares for that, though, LOL!)

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I think it's really odd that he sleeps that much, and I wonder if it's become a habit more than a true need.

 

Wow, if that's odd, then a majority of teens I know are odd! What do you base that theory on? Teens bodies are changing and they're growing, and often need the extra sleep. My 15yo has always needed more sleep than my other two. It's how he's made, not that he's odd and has a bad habit!

 

It's not a "theory", it's just me wondering.:) It's my impression that sometimes people get in a cycle of sleeping more, the more they sleep. Just an observation.

 

Teens do need more sleep, but 11 or 12 hours a night strikes me as odd. I've never personally known a teen who sleeps that much.

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It's not a "theory", it's just me wondering.:) It's my impression that sometimes people get in a cycle of sleeping more, the more they sleep. Just an observation.

 

Teens do need more sleep, but 11 or 12 hours a night strikes me as odd. I've never personally known a teen who sleeps that much.

My 15yo has always needed that much sleep or he's a BEAR! :tongue_smilie: Now that he's going through a growth spurt he's needing more sleep again! I have friends whose kids sleep tht much and always have. That's why it doesn't sound strange to me. Now, if I had only had my first child---his average sleep was 5-6 hours from 2 weeks old on! THEN I'd think it was interesting that kids slept that much! :001_smile:
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My teenager does not need that much sleep. She wakes me up. However, she does do some knock-your-socks-off crashes once in awhile. Once a month or so, on a weekend, she will practically not get up at all. She has a packed, extremely active schedule, so I allow this. I know her body must need it. One of my little guys, however, is a big sleeper. It will be interesting to see what he does as a teenager. He goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up at 8:00. I let him only because it is convenient for me. While he sleeps, I can get my other guys started on their lessons. My sleeper is also my very difficult one to homeschool, so I get the others out of the way and then spend the rest of the day with him.

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My nearly 15 yo and even my almost 13 yo would prefer to sleep longer than their alarms. I am in favor of an earlier bedtime and not extending their wake up times because this affects everyone else in the house.

 

I find it interesting that these children can get up early if they have something going on (hockey practice, 4-H activity), but they can't get up for school.

 

My son told me that he really does not feel any particular motivation to get out of bed for homeschooling. He said that if he had to get up to catch a bus in the morning that he would.

 

Jennie

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My teens tell me - they like to sleep. They get up when they have something they want to do- even if they've had very little sleep. We've had to provide "incentives" for waking on time. In other words if they sleep in for an hour they go to bed an hour earlier the next night. Otherwise they would go to bed around 11pm and wake up at 2 pm.

I wake them up at 9am once- after that I start looking at the clock so I know how much earlier they'll go to bed that night.

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