Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

Poll: What is your Love Language? What is your spouse's Love Language?

ereks mom
 Share

What is your Love Language? What is your spouse's Love Language?  

  1. 1. What is your Love Language? What is your spouse's Love Language?

    • My Love Language is Words of Affirmation.
      48
    • My Love Language is Quality Time.
      43
    • My Love Language is Receiving Gifts.
      11
    • My Love Language is Acts of Service.
      54
    • My Love Language is Physical Touch.
      21
    • My spouse's Love Language is Words of Affirmation.
      31
    • My spouse's Love Language is Quality Time.
      11
    • My spouse's Love Language is Receiving Gifts.
      8
    • My spouse's Love Language is Acts of Service.
      39
    • My spouse's Love Language is Physical Touch.
      72

Recommended Posts

ereks mom

ereks mom

Posted
Posted

This poll is primarily (but not exclusively) for those who've read -- or are at least familiar with -- Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages. If you don't know your love language or your spouse's love language, please read this before posting your responses.

 

Dh & I are teaching a weekly couples class, and we will be discussing the Five Love Languages as part of the course. I find the concept fascinating.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
LaxMom

LaxMom

Posted
Posted
I have read the book but have never been able to figure it out for either of us.

 

Same here. For me - and I believe it is the same for my husband - all of those things apply and it is more the context than the actual genre of the gesture. Maybe we (my husband and I) have some sort of intuitive understanding of the motivation behind any given gesture, so they are generally received as expressions of love, whether they are in our individual "language" or not.

 

Does that make sense?

 

I do find the whole thing quite fascinating, though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Kanga

Kanga

Posted
Posted

I found this concept revolutionary! I was always insulted when my dh would come home and start picking up the house. I viewed it as a critique on my abilities. After reading about love languages, I realized that my dh was showing love through an act of service, so I stopped yelling at him for cleaning.:lol:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mabelen

Mabelen

Posted
Posted

Mine are acts of service and physical touch. My dh's are words of affirmation and acts of service.

 

I found the book extremely useful. I am thankful my dh and I share one important love language, but reading the book made me more aware of the love messages that I was missing and the ones my dh was expecting and not receiving.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ereks mom

ereks mom

Posted
  • Author
Posted
After thinking about it, he said touch meant the most love to him, as he could get the other four areas met by other people in his life. But touch (well, the sort of touch that spells "love" to a man) is only coming from me.

Michelle T

 

I never really thought about it that way before, but IMO, that's the way it should be! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lulubelle

lulubelle

Posted
Posted

My husband's is words of affirmation and I'm so terrible at giving it. It just doesn't come naturally. I am trying though. I have just agreed with a good friend to be accountability partners about this. Her husbands is the same. I just left a note to him yesterday about being such a great husband and how lucky I am and happy to be married to him. I need a lot more work at it! We went to a marriage conference in the Fall which was excellent and they set us up for doing something for each other for 52 weeks! I did it for like 4 weeks! And, then I failed. I left him a balloon on his car, a note, and gave him a hug when he came home. Why is it so difficult to keep it up! It's easy to get too bogged down by the kids! It is a great challenge and it's fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Aubrey

Aubrey

Posted
Posted

I've come to realize that if you look for one of these w/ most people--in the way they express themselves to you--you'll find how they'd like to be loved. (It probably says that in the book, but it's been 15 yrs or so!)

 

Anyway, I've gone round & round on these for us. I'd always figured my dh is words & touch; I'm quality time-ish.

 

BUT I recently realized there's another categeroy: FOOD. I've seen the mere smell of it cooking literally melt away dh's stress or anger or whatever enough times that I believe THAT is his LL. And I told him so.

 

At first he was insulted. After a few days, though, he conceded. I've tried to cook better for him since then, & yup. He feels loved, he admits. Maybe that counts as an act of service? But only if it's edible. :D

 

What tipped me off was the day I told him I'd decided to *really* learn to cook. Casual conversation, you know? But I looked up & saw the look on his face. Like he'd just won a million dollars. I nearly fell on the floor. :lol: Who knew? Hmmm...maybe I should go put something on for lunch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ereks mom

ereks mom

Posted
  • Author
Posted
:lol: I think I answered the poll backwards... Is it how we express love or what makes us feel loved? Because I answered, what makes us feel loved and that is very different from how we express our love.........

 

Great.

 

...according to the Five Love Languages book. But if you know your spouse's love language, you can express love to him in his language.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
cathmom

cathmom

Posted
Posted

I think I finally figured it out. It can be anything that lets me know that you were thinking of me and love me. It could be something you did for me (act of service), some compliment you gave me (words of affirmation), giving me a hug or a squeeze or reaching for my hand (touch), giving me something out of the blue anytime or giving me my old favorites for Christmas (gifts), or spending time with me (quality time). I don't need my love in any specific form, I guess.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ereks mom

ereks mom

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I've come to realize that if you look for one of these w/ most people--in the way they express themselves to you--you'll find how they'd like to be loved. (It probably says that in the book, but it's been 15 yrs or so!)

 

Anyway, I've gone round & round on these for us. I'd always figured my dh is words & touch; I'm quality time-ish.

 

BUT I recently realized there's another categeroy: FOOD. I've seen the mere smell of it cooking literally melt away dh's stress or anger or whatever enough times that I believe THAT is his LL. And I told him so.

 

At first he was insulted. After a few days, though, he conceded. I've tried to cook better for him since then, & yup. He feels loved, he admits. Maybe that counts as an act of service? But only if it's edible. :D

 

What tipped me off was the day I told him I'd decided to *really* learn to cook. Casual conversation, you know? But I looked up & saw the look on his face. Like he'd just won a million dollars. I nearly fell on the floor. :lol: Who knew? Hmmm...maybe I should go put something on for lunch.

 

...he sees this as something you're doing just for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
lionfamily1999

lionfamily1999

Posted
Posted
...according to the Five Love Languages book. But if you know your spouse's love language, you can express love to him in his language.

We're so backwards. Since we know how the other shows love, we accept and recognize those as their shmilys. Lol, I WISH dh could speak my language, without me needing to lay it out for him, as it is, I see the things he does and know they're done in love.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Year Round Mom

Year Round Mom

Posted
Posted

When we were first married, all LL were spoken, understood, and appreciated! And I began thinking that, gosh, we're so loving! But the past year or so, we've hit a nitty-gritty, stressy-stressy point in our five-year-old marriage. I see now our primary LLs coming out: DH speaks in acts of service. He cannot rest (physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally) in our house when I don't have dinner on the stove when he comes home from work, for example. It's not that our home has to be picture-perfect, but he definitely appreciates the small things, like when I pick up clutter in the master bedroom or put away the laundry. Mine is quality time. I get really, really nasty when I don't get quality time with the hub. I wouldn't have thought that, but we went on our first date night in a loooong time last weekend and I was in heaven!!! Too bad it took a crisis and going without the LLs to we found out what ours truly were!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
amyable

amyable

Posted
Posted

Dh's are touch and quality time. I can't just be in the same room with him, we have to be doing the same thing and talking about it, LOL.

 

Mine are gifts and acts of service (which I see as little gifts). They don't have to be extravagant - I see an unexpected email as a "gift." My 40th birthday is in a few days, and dh has been giving me something little every day this month. I am in hog heaven. :lol: (that's me rolling in the love). To me it just says "you were thought of -- you were remembered." :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Mrs. Frankweiler

Mrs. Frankweiler

Posted
Posted

After seeing this thread, dh and I took this poll on a different website. My LL turned out to be a tie for physical touch and acts of service. Dh was physical touch (no surprise) and quality time. Any guesses HOW he wants to spend that quality time?

 

(I'm going to stop here becuase I just reread the combo of my LL and am realizing this could get a little R rated pretty quickly.)

 

- Mrs. F

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...