Help w/ 1yo not napping

[Aubrey]

She's moved to the toddler bed at night. She was in the toddler bed for naps, too, until she figured out that there were no constraints. Then she was back in it when she figured out how to get out of the crib.

 

Dh sagely realized that we hadn't put the walls of the crib up in mos, & lo! she's trapped again.

 

But now she won't sleep at nap time. At all. She stands in her bed & SCREAM/cries. You know the kind. The wailing, etc. The you've-abandoned-me-&-must-not-love-me-because-I'm-dying-in-here cry.

 

She's definitely tired. She stumbles around tripping over furniture & crying at nap time. That's how I remember to put her down, lol. And if I don't, she falls asleep at the dining table.

 

I've tried making sure she has her favorite animals. I've tried telling her that she'll feel better if she naps, worse if she doesn't--she's been sick. I've tried asking her to show her animals how to sleep. I've tried *not* giving her her animals--not as a punishment, just not chasing them down when we forgot them.

 

But it's not like she's in there playing, kwim? When she gets out of the toddler bed, she stands at the door & cries the same way. I've tried going in there & petting her, singing to her, letting her cry. Nothing makes any difference. When she was a baby-baby, I tried playing soft music--that kept her awake/made her sleep less deeply.

 

I can't (& don't want to) just tune her out. And the crying doesn't help her rest. Please...suggest something new!

[cjzimmer1]

I know this will be very difficult since you also have a baby but I wait until they are good and tired (but not melting) and then I lay down with them. Usually within 15 minutes they are out. Of course the tricky part is a) not falling asleep yourself and b)timing this so the baby is asleep so you can escape long enough to lay down with the older. My oldest is 11(but I also did this when he was 9 with the last baby) so I can leave the baby with him when I need to lay down with the toddler but yours may or may not be responsible to "watch" the baby while you aren't there to visually watch.

[Aubrey]

I know this will be very difficult since you also have a baby but I wait until they are good and tired (but not melting) and then I lay down with them. Usually within 15 minutes they are out. Of course the tricky part is a) not falling asleep yourself and b)timing this so the baby is asleep so you can escape long enough to lay down with the older. My oldest is 11(but I also did this when he was 9 with the last baby) so I can leave the baby with him when I need to lay down with the toddler but yours may or may not be responsible to "watch" the baby while you aren't there to visually watch.

 

She doesn't sleep when I lay down w/ her. She climbs on me, pokes me, etc. If I hold her hands & feet down, she'll either cry or talk to me or make faces at me. And she can hold out F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

[Kanga]

She's moved to the toddler bed at night. She was in the toddler bed for naps, too, until she figured out that there were no constraints. Then she was back in it when she figured out how to get out of the crib.

 

Dh sagely realized that we hadn't put the walls of the crib up in mos, & lo! she's trapped again.

 

But now she won't sleep at nap time. At all. She stands in her bed & SCREAM/cries. You know the kind. The wailing, etc. The you've-abandoned-me-&-must-not-love-me-because-I'm-dying-in-here cry.

 

She's definitely tired. She stumbles around tripping over furniture & crying at nap time. That's how I remember to put her down, lol. And if I don't, she falls asleep at the dining table.

 

I've tried making sure she has her favorite animals. I've tried telling her that she'll feel better if she naps, worse if she doesn't--she's been sick. I've tried asking her to show her animals how to sleep. I've tried *not* giving her her animals--not as a punishment, just not chasing them down when we forgot them.

 

But it's not like she's in there playing, kwim? When she gets out of the toddler bed, she stands at the door & cries the same way. I've tried going in there & petting her, singing to her, letting her cry. Nothing makes any difference. When she was a baby-baby, I tried playing soft music--that kept her awake/made her sleep less deeply.

 

I can't (& don't want to) just tune her out. And the crying doesn't help her rest. Please...suggest something new!

 

First let me say, I am so glad that I am not the only one who forgets to put there toddler to bed until they are stumbling into things!

 

Rew will not go down for a nap willingly no matter how tired he is, even though he goes down willingly at night. So when he is tired I hold him on my lap and do family read aloud time. I read something at the older kids level without pictures and I bore him to sleep and then plop him in his crib.

 

When I was a kid my aunt used to make all of the kids climb on to their beds (there were 9 of us under the age of 11 and 5 of us shared a huge room that looked like a dorm with all of the beds lined up) and she would sit in the door way (so no one could escape) and read to us until the littles fell asleep and then the kids who were old enough could read on their own instead of sleeping if they chose.

[athena1277]

She doesn't sleep when I lay down w/ her. She climbs on me, pokes me, etc. If I hold her hands & feet down, she'll either cry or talk to me or make faces at me. And she can hold out F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

 

 

Then you hold out forever plus 1.

 

My ds is 19 mo and is starting to resist naptime. But I put him to bed anyways, and I don't let him win.

 

I would also consider putting him back in the crib. It would worry and scare me to think that my ds could get up a roam when he's supposed to be sleeping. When he's in bed, I know he is safe, even if he cries.

Edited February 4, 2009 by athena1277
Oops, I messed up the quote. You get the point though.

[Kanga]

I don't know if this would work for you, but I thought of another thing I do to get Rew to nap. I take him to the park after lunch and then he will fall asleep in the stroller on the way home. I live a little over a mile from the closest park, so he has plenty of time to be lulled to sleep.

 

I also sometimes let him almost fall asleep at the table and then I just have to rock him for a couple of minutes and then he is out.

 

I also will plan outings so that I will be driving home when he is tired, so he will fall asleep on the way home.

 

Some children don't transfer well from car seats and strollers to bed, but fortunately Rew does.

[dhudson]

Is this one nap or two a day. I forget what they are doing at this age. If it's two naps maybe pair down to one longer nap? When my twins were transitioning out of a crib, I sat right outside the door and read and every time they would try to climb out or bed, I would tell them no and put them back in. I eventually won the battle ( about a week) and then they would go quietly to nap.

 

The other idea is to leave a book or soft toy in the bed and allow them to play quietly if they want but they may not get up until Mom comes and gets them. Mine usually were asleep in 10 or 15 min of playing quietly.

[Carol in Cal.]

Some kids really need to go down for a nap before they are wound up from being miserably tired. I would set the timer in your kitchen for a time about 1/2 hour before you usually put her down, and then try putting her down at that point.

 

Also, some kids just really, really can't sleep in a busy house, because there is too much going on. If she is like that, you choices are either biting the bullet and hushing everyone for a while (not easy, I know), or putting her into a playpen or portacrib out with the crowd with a few toys, and insisting that she stay there until the timer goes off, whether she falls asleep or not.

I have an only, so I didn't have trouble implementing option 1, but my friends with multiples swear by option 2.

[Aubrey]

Is this one nap or two a day. I forget what they are doing at this age. If it's two naps maybe pair down to one longer nap? When my twins were transitioning out of a crib, I sat right outside the door and read and every time they would try to climb out or bed, I would tell them no and put them back in. I eventually won the battle ( about a week) and then they would go quietly to nap.

 

The other idea is to leave a book or soft toy in the bed and allow them to play quietly if they want but they may not get up until Mom comes and gets them. Mine usually were asleep in 10 or 15 min of playing quietly.

 

1 nap a day. Playing quietly does tend to make her fall asleep in the play pen. I wonder if it would work in her crib?

 

I tried moving her to the playpen today, but no luck. Usually, after a little complaining, she realizes what she can reach & gets quiet, thinking she's getting away w/ something, I guess.

 

Today, she was outraged, & she let us know it. W/ so much else going on, I figured I'd try again fresh tomorrow. <sigh> I just don't know about this one.

 

#1 was a tough napper, too, but I could get him to sleep if I laid down w/ him. And held him there, lol. But I was pg w/ #2, & I was more likely to fall asleep than him. I let it get to me, & I was in tears. I try not to make that big of a deal of it these days. But oh! what I wouldn't give for a real (esp predictable) nap. Oh yeah, & one for 1yo, too. :lol:

[Aubrey]

Some kids really need to go down for a nap before they are wound up from being miserably tired. I would set the timer in your kitchen for a time about 1/2 hour before you usually put her down, and then try putting her down at that point.

 

Also, some kids just really, really can't sleep in a busy house, because there is too much going on. If she is like that, you choices are either biting the bullet and hushing everyone for a while (not easy, I know), or putting her into a playpen or portacrib out with the crowd with a few toys, and insisting that she stay there until the timer goes off, whether she falls asleep or not.

I have an only, so I didn't have trouble implementing option 1, but my friends with multiples swear by option 2.

 

Ha! Option 2 has surprised us sometimes. Dd1 is such a light sleeper that we pretty much have to use option 1 anyway. She's in the back room, & we're at the far end of the apartment. The bigs aren't even allowed to close the bathrm door all the way. Not that they remember. :lol:

[KS_]

I had to wrap ds up in a blanket (like roll him up in it so he couldn't kick and move his arms), lie down next to him and hold him still to get him to fall asleep at that age. Otherwise, he would not nap. And at about 16 months I stopped doing that and tried to transition him to napping in his crib, and he'd scream the whole time, for over an hour (I didn't try that too many times before I gave it up). We just did away with naps and later on, after dd was born, worked into "quiet time."