Are these signs of mental illness?

[plansrme]

And if so, which one?

Here's the background:

*Female family member, age early 60s;

*Never a great housekeeper, she always prided herself on being clean, if admittedly untidy; over the last few years, however, her house has gotten decidedly unclean. Of course she might just be lazy.

*Always prone to hypochondria, this has become much more pronounced. Recently diagnosed with diabetes, she claims to follow a strict diet but ate 3 servings of dessert at Christmas dinner and has not lost any weight, so I doubt there's a strict diet anywhere in the picture. She seems thrilled to have a diagnosis of diabetes.

*Is having significant problems at work with getting along with co-workers. We don't know how much of it is the co-workers and how much is her, as we're only getting her side. Perhaps ironically, she claims her supervisor is mentally ill.

*Lies at the drop of a hat. She has always done this, but it's definitely worse. She makes up long, complicated (and clearly untrue) stories to explain why she shows up late, as in hours late, for family get-togethers; she lies about her diet; she lies about things that don't matter and things that do.

*May be a bit paranoid, but again, this is not new, just more pronounced. On several occasions, has been sure she was being watched or followed in her car. Once or twice in a lifetime, maybe, but this sort of thing doesn't happen to one person a half-dozen times, even over the course of 20 years.

*Claims to be a great lover of the arts, as in ballet and theater, and that she has "always" loved ballet and, in this expert capacity, recognizes outstanding talent in one of my children. The fact is that she's never, ever been to a ballet performance or live theater other than my children's recitals and plays. There's more of this, but this particular statement has been repeated many times.

*There is a family history of mental illness, particularly depression (she doesn't seem depressed, but her sister was hospitalized for this many years ago and was on disability for some unspecified mental illness for 30 years).

 

So what do you think? Are these just annoying personality characteristics or possible mental illness?

 

Terri

[LilyK]

possible mental illness. IMO, very possible. Sorry

[KristenS]

Another option to consider: She may be having a reaction to a medication... many of them can cause mood or personality changes if there's an extreme reaction. Worth reading the fine print on anything she's taking, if the behavior has grown more pronounced lately, and she's started new stuff (which could be possible, given her medical history).

 

I've got family members with some similar personality characteristics, and in their cases, that's all it is. Annoying quirks. If it got suddenly worse, though, I would definitely be concerned. In at least one case, it's annoying personality combined with genuine grief and some serious life stress.

[charlotteb]

My mother suffered from mental illness for years before she died. So, having experienced it with her, I would say it sounds like your family member is experiencing some similar problems. Is she under the care of a psychatrist or psychologist?

[KidsHappen]

This sounds to me like possibly a case of early onset Alzheimer's.

 

http://www.alz.org/alzheimers_disease_10_signs_of_alzheimers.asp

[Parrothead]

It could be anything. The life-long tendencies you described could be a sociopath disorder, and now that she is getting older it is becoming more pronounced.

 

Or it could just be her personality. She may want to appear to know more than others. She may just need to feel superior. That could explain the being happy about having diabetes.

 

It could be medication as Kristen said.

 

It could be a combination of the above.

 

Some of it could be the beginning of Alzheimer's. It could be toxins in her house - mold in the duct work, old carpeting, etc.

 

I'd exhaust all possibilities before having her see a psychologist though.

[Sue G in PA]

That's hard to say, especially since we don't know her or are not experts. Is she agreeable to seeing a therapist?

[Rebecca in VA]

They could also be pleas for attention.

 

The diabetes diagnosis can actually be helpful because it takes sugar out of temptation's path. If you know you absolutely MUST NOT eat sugar, you won't be tempted as severely as someone who's avoiding it because they want to lose some weight.

 

I'd vote for mentally ill only if the symptoms are so severe that they are causing her or someone else great distress.

[G5052]

My mother has always been a bit off mentally, but a year ago was diagnosed with small vessel disease / vascular dementia. It was frankly a relief to those around her to know that some of the behavior was because of skads of mini-strokes versus how she's always been.

 

She's on medication that does help, but I don't believe she's consistent. When she takes it, she's almost how she was five years ago, but I still notice that her reasoning abilities are declining and she basically trusts no one now. A standard phone conversation involves explaining how some relative or acquaintance is mentally ill and she is not. Recently she declared that she was "cured" and tried to convince the doctors that she should drive again, and even stopped the medication for a week. When she had an utter melt-down that required intervention, she went back on her medication and agreed not to try to get her license back. She also has a variety of stories that I know are not true, usually made up so that she can feel like she's participating in an interest or conversation. Bottom line, she's all over the place mentally, and I've learned to just accept her that way. Thankfully she's retired and lives in a small town where she knows a lot of people. The doctors have done all they can at this point. Sad isn't it?

[plansrme]

It is helpful to know that I am not the only one who thinks these characteristics, taken together, could be more than her personality. On the other hand, as Rebecca says, they all could be pleas for attention. I remember the pastor of a church I used to attend noting that whatever someone is when she is young, when she's old, she's just more so. More sweet or more crabby or more whatever, just more. That is exactly what I'm observing in this case. She is lazier, she procrastinates more, she lies more, she is messier, she starts more projects that she never finishes, she eats more, she feels more persecuted. On the one hand, that's actually sort of good news, that this may be all the natural resoluts of aging. On the other hand, it seems that some of you have seen "intensification" of personality conflicts that have indeed indicated mental illness.

 

Thank you all for the input. I'll be thinking about what, if anything, I can do at this point.

 

Terri

[laughing lioness]

My dh, a psychologist, who has spent his fair share of time with the mentally ill, the elderly, the disordered and the depressed says that "we become more of who we are the older we get." -which sounds like a lot of what you are describing. In saying that I'm not ruling out mental illness, reaction to meds, alzheimers or dementia (my first thought).

[kalanamak]

I remember the pastor of a church I used to attend noting that whatever someone is when she is young, when she's old, she's just more so.

 

http://www.merck.com/mmhe/sec07/ch105/ch105a.html

 

has a brief description of personality disorders. Cluster B, it sounds like.

 

As to the truism, actually, antisocial personality softens with age (which is why 50 year olds are less likely to do violent crimes than 20 year olds), and substance abuse can really alter a cheery young person into a warped middle ager. I also know a woman who was secretive and suspicious, but just blossomed around age 50 when her overbearing mother died. The smiles! The new hobbies! The friendliness with the neighbors!

[CactusPair]

Maybe her troubles are related to her declining physical health and her inability to cope with chronic health issues, which can be exhausting, terrifying, confusing and depressing. A serious health diagnosis can send one into a tailspin and challenge one's core identity. It can fill you with regret for the life you have not led, the fear of what lies ahead, and make you feel like a victim, powerless and out of control.

 

Even as one is caught in a cycle of self-sabotaging denial, to face on some level your own mortality and even worse, onset of future disability-- ie loss of limbs due to diabetes, the prospect of moving into a care facility--is deeply unsettling.

 

Is she on meds.? Who is monitoring her insulin levels and daily, hourly diet? Anyone? Does she have a support system?

 

Does she live alone?