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Do you expect your DC to go to college?


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Is it your expectation that your children will be going on to four-year university? If not, what are your plans/expectations? Will they go to a community college? Or vocational school? Or straight into the workforce?

 

Obviously, plans and life can and do change! But I'm curious as to what most of you are working towards in your homeschool, academically wise.

 

If you do not expect your child will go to a four-year university, what do you do differently in high school?

Michelle T

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That's the plan. Ds19 has taken some community college classes with an eye to getting into university. It's my hope that ds17 will do so, too. Same with Nature Girl, when she gets there.

I think they all want jobs that require higher education--that's the norm for my hubby and me. I will say that my mom didn't go to college, my dad went after he was married, and my husband's family is all over the place. He has 6 siblings--2 (and my husband) have their PhD's, one has a GED, and three only finished high school. All are successful (his sister is a millionaire but only went thru 12th grade--no corrolation there to salary! lol).

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I don't really have expectations for my dc yet, but will educate them with the goal that they could go onto a 4 year university if that's what they decide to do. I want them to pursue what they feel led to pursue, whether or not that includes college.

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Yes.

 

Both dh and I expect them to go to college, but for how long is their responsibility. It's their life after all.

 

If they choose not to go, that is ok with me as well, but I am educating them with the assumption that college is a given. I'll love them no matter what they decide to do in their adult life. :001_smile:

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Yes, it is our expectation that our children go to college and I plan to prepare them for it. For their last 2 years of high school, I plan on them taking plenty of community college classes. I also intend for them to attend a 4 year academic university. Plans may change, but I do feel that their earning potential is much greater with a college degree.

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I am thinking college for all of them and doing my level best to educate them with that in mind.

 

I do have to be realistic about my youngest however. I will be very surprised if he ever performs academically at an appropriate level for his age. I do expect that he will be able to attend at least community college or trade school at some point, even if it is not until his mid-twenties or so.

 

But everyone else is being treated like university material! If they choose something else it won't be because I did not get them ready for college!!!

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Absolutely! Our children know that education is a high priority in our family. You go to college, end of story. They know that as long as they are in college and until they have their degree, we will support them, pay for school should we have to and generally make their life as easy as possible to insure success.

However, it you drop out - you are 100% on your own financially. (We'll always be there for them spiritually and emotionally, no matter what they decide.) Neither my DH nor I have our degree and we are not going to let that happen to DCs if we can help it. Our kids know our story and know we have regrets and that we expect them to learn from our mistakes.

The girls also have this warning: If you get married before you graduate, you get no money from us for the wedding! We will attend and be happy for you, but we won't pay!

 

I am a stay at home mom for 25 years with almost NO work experience and no degree. I am NOT HAPPY about my situation. Should something happen to my DH, I would be in a tough spot. I will NOT let this happen to my daughters. ( I do have 56 credits and plan to return to school part time this fall. ) Because of our attitudes and the way the kids were raised, I don't think any of them ever considered NOT going to college.

So far, one down and 2 1/2 to go. DS is half way through. One caveat, our DS joined the Marine reserves right out of HS with the intent to get his degree during his service and we respected that decision. He is out now due to medical issues and in college so we have picked up with him where we left off as far as support goes.

 

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I'm not sure I "expect" them to, but I certainly hope for their sakes they will. We have encouraged them and explained the benefits of a good education. I understand that not all graduates of college will go onto make careers out of their degree. However, the chance of a good job is much more likely with a degree of some sort.

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My oldest ds had already graduated with a degree in Chemistry and is working on a triple doctorate. My oldest dd will soon graduate with a degree in Elementary Ed. My middle ds took vocational classes in auto mechanics. He is currently working as a helper in heating and air conditioning. He seems to like the job. His employer will pay for his vocational training once he has been with them 6 months. I'm not sure what my youngest 2 will do. They do plan on going to college. My youngest dd has no idea what she wants to do. My youngest ds wants to follow in his older brothers foot steps. He is a lot like his older brother. My children can go to our community college free for 2 years if they do 40 hours of community service and have a 'B' averge. That is what my older children did and that is our plan for our younger children. I just want them to do something that they enjoy and are good at.

God bless,

Vicki

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Regardless of what they end up doing we do expect them to continue their education and to be life-long learners. Our oldest went to Europe a couple of times, learned a couple of languages, volunteered with gypsies and at a orphanage and then landed a full ride scholarship so is in 4-year college. She is a 21/22 yo freshman and having a marvelous time.

My 2nd will graduate this spring and plans to go to cosmetology school. She already has customers lining up waiting for her to let them know that she is in business-lol! She has plans to go to a college after that but maybe not right away and wants to get an art degree.

My 14 yo will almost definitely go to college-then grad school. I expect my 9 yo to as well. They both have clear goals and plans that will require some formal ed. Of course, the 9 and 5 yo's are still pretty young but their gifts and talents are making themselves known.

We will go with a classical, GB approach for high school regardless. Our kids are learning how to think and to do so logically and creatively. They are learning how to learn. They are being exposed to other great minds. All of this fits in perfectly with the vision that we have for them regardless of their actual for-pay careers.

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Yes, unless presented with a very well thought out, workable plan to do something else. I don't care what they do for a living and I don't care if they ever use the degree. But having one opens up a world of opportunity that not having one doesn't. I want that opportunity for my boys.

 

Going back to school as an adult is always an option but ever so much more difficult than going right after high school.

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For our family, college is the assumed short-term destination after high school. We are open to discussion if any of the kids have other plans that don't include college that they wish to pursue.

This is us too. At this point, though, we are not open to discussion of plans that don't include college. My kids are too young for that and I'll make up the rules as I get to that point. For right now, we're brainwashing them into thinking that college is the next logical step after highschool.

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I want my kids to be whatever makes them happy, but I want them to be ready and capable of attending any college of their choice, when the time comes. IOW, if Andrew's going to be a janitor, he'll be a well-read, educated janitor :)

 

Exactly - if a kid is NOT going on to college then high school education needs to be very thorough and intense since that might be all the book-learning the kid gets!;)

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Yes.

Graduate from a four-year University.

Transfer from Community College.

 

If I had a student who wasn't going to college, I would make sure my homeschool high school was as rigorous as possible (not the opposite), because there isn't going to be any further education down the line.

 

 

:seeya:

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.For right now, we're brainwashing them into thinking that college is the next logical step after highschool.

 

 

That's what we do.

It isn't until the kids are graduating from college that they kind of realize, Hey, college was actually optional, come to think of it ;)

 

:seeya:

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and my dc have always known this is expected. We would consider alternative plans, if brought to us though. However, our dc know the realities that more education brings better financial security and more choices.

 

Oldest ds also rejects noncollege options. He's not cut out for the military. He admires the military, but he knows he could never do it. So, enlisting is not an option. He is also much happier doing something with his mind than his hands. Currently, his happiness is focused on programming computers (loves his JAVA class), but he could go so many other directions academically. Currently, ds thinks whatever he does he will get a PhD. I haven't pushed grad school. I thought a university degree would be a good expectation and we'd support whatever direction he took from there.

 

dd has plans for vet school, obviously this means a bachelor's followed by a DVM. She's a person who could take care of herself whether or not she had a degree, not matter what circumstance she found herself in--my resourceful child.

 

I had a coworker many years ago who said she regretted not telling her dc she expected them to go to college, just like she and her dh had. She had 4 dc and none went to college, even though she and her dh could afford to send them. She felt she and her dh had not emphasized it enough while they were growing up. I don't know if that's true, but it's what she believed.

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Exactly - if a kid is NOT going on to college then high school education needs to be very thorough and intense since that might be all the book-learning the kid gets!;)

 

Exactly.

I've been know to say not unfrequently that my son may well become the only classically educated taco bender

 

:lol:

 

:seeya:

As long as they are happy in what they do, and not ignorant, I'll be happy. Not everyone is cut out for the white collar world, some people are extremely happy living check to check on peanuts. If that's my kids, then I want them to be able to do those things and still appreciate and understand the finer things, global things, intricacies of life that are around them.

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Having been a student in one of this country's past recessions, I remember my freshman composition instructor saying, "You may need to dig ditches to pay the rent, but you can read Plato on your lunch hour."

 

Yes, I expect my son (only child) to attend college. I will encourage him to attend graduate school since I suspect an MA or MS may eventually be the new BA or BS.

 

If he drops out of college to pursue something interesting, I think I could support the endeavor if he has a plan in place to return to school eventually. I have taught a number of adults who have completed degrees with jobs and families--it was tough!

 

My son's extended family is a rather eccentric bunch but education (classroom or self motivated) has been a priority for almost everyone. It would surprise me if his priorities changed.

 

Jane

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I would strongly encourage them to get a college degree. At the very least, I would want them to go to a vocation school and learn a trade of some sort (like electrician, mechanic.)

 

I would not want them to just find an entry level job and work up from there. That's what I did. And now that I'm out of the workforce (it's been 6 years and if I continue to hs it will be 21 years total!) it would be very difficult for me to find a decent paying job. I'd be right back at the entry level again.

 

Not having a college degree is one of my biggest regrets.

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I expect nothing. I assume nothing. I hope for everything. I would give them the moon if I could. However, my children have minds of their own and since it is their life I suppose they will make their own decision.

 

I hope that we have given them a balanced learning lifestyle that has created a desire to learn more. Yes, I hope they all go to college and they know I want that for them.;)

 

Mandy

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My plan is simply to have my kids have a decent education so they can 1) do whatever they wish/is reasonable for them, 2) can carry on an intelligent conversation, 3) have skills necessary for life and serving God.

 

College is a personal choice that neither child is pushed into (though my mother wishes otherwise). Work is only one aspect (and not the most important) of life. We don't base success on education or job. Both kids (both teens) are looking into areas they could work flexible and/or less than full time so as to meet other goals and responsibilities. I fully support that.

 

We are COMPLETELY different from much of the world. No biggie. Whatever works for each individual family member.

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Yes, I expect my son (only child) to attend college. I will encourage him to attend graduate school since I suspect an MA or MS may eventually be the new BA or BS.

 

 

 

Jane

 

 

We have this mindset as well, Jane. My husband earned his BA back in the 70's and it was plenty at the time. But the last time he tried to move up the career ladder he was picked over for a job that he was the most qualified for, in favor of a young man with zero experience and a master's degree. When he questioned his supervisor he was told it was because of that lack of a master's degree.

 

So my daughter who is currently in college does not plan on getting her BA, she plans on getting her Master's for now. And then she plans to get her PHD later on. My daughter who is about to be launched into college already plans to get either a Master's or a law degree.

 

They have seen with their own eyes that sometimes talent and experience are not worth as much as that extra piece of paper.

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"If we didn't want them to go to college, we'd just send them to school" Those are his exact words.

Please, no offense intended to those who do ps their dc. I am not against ps (after all, I'm a product of ps, and I'm no slouch), just that our ps is woefully lacking in the educational department (but the highschool has some great sports teams!).

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Kelli, I don't know your youngest, but I would like to share "my story." My parents didn't believe I would ever go to college or be anything more than maybe a waitress or a sec't. Their words not mine but that was their attitude. Carole was not college material. I didn't read, or write, or keep up with my peers academically. My sister recently asked me if I rememberd all the hours she spent tutoring me in math, all through grade school cause I didn't understand any of it. I remember her spending time working with me on math, and my other sister trying to teach me how to spell, and mom tellilng me I was going to summer school again cause I couldn't keep up with the other kids.....

 

I was a late bloomer, or maybe it was the new school district we moved to in another state when I entered high school, where the teachers didn't know me, or my family, or my older siblings.... I went to college, majored in Engineering, paid for my entire way through college on academic scholarships I won. Went on for a MS in Engineering. Went on for an MBA. My folks were shocked to say the least. Maybe your youngest will be a late bloomer too.

 

Carole

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But I'm curious as to what most of you are working towards in your homeschool, academically wise.

 

Honestly, I kind of expect them too, but I don't really tell them that. (My parents had very definate expectations of me going to college -- and it really wasn't what I wanted to do. Grades refelected that. . . )

 

I do plan their homeschool so their transcript is "college ready". Beyond that, it's their ball-game.

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Kelli, I don't know your youngest, but I would like to share "my story." My parents didn't believe I would ever go to college or be anything more than maybe a waitress or a sec't. Their words not mine but that was their attitude. Carole was not college material. I didn't read, or write, or keep up with my peers academically. My sister recently asked me if I rememberd all the hours she spent tutoring me in math, all through grade school cause I didn't understand any of it. I remember her spending time working with me on math, and my other sister trying to teach me how to spell, and mom tellilng me I was going to summer school again cause I couldn't keep up with the other kids.....

 

I was a late bloomer, or maybe it was the new school district we moved to in another state when I entered high school, where the teachers didn't know me, or my family, or my older siblings.... I went to college, majored in Engineering, paid for my entire way through college on academic scholarships I won. Went on for a MS in Engineering. Went on for an MBA. My folks were shocked to say the least. Maybe your youngest will be a late bloomer too.

 

Carole

 

I know you mean well.

 

He has special needs, I do not wish to lay out all of his verified-by-testing-by-specialist learning challenges. I intend to expect from him the very best that he can do but I am not going to expect more than his brain is capable of. I will not put that kind of pressure on him.

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We have always assumed our kids would go to college, and we homeschool with that presumption.

 

My daughter is already there and is looking at graduate schools. So, that's a done deal.

 

If my son chose not to go to college, I'd need to hear some really good reasons why and a valid alternate plan before I could feel comfortable with and supportive of the idea.

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I agree with you, Kelli. My dd is great at some things and just so-so academically. I do hope she'll go to college and I'll certainly help her in anyway I can, but I won't pressure her to do things she can't. I'm not saying she can't; I don't know yet, but I'll be with her every step of the way.

 

 

I know you mean well.

 

He has special needs, I do not wish to lay out all of his verified-by-testing-by-specialist learning challenges. I intend to expect from him the very best that he can do but I am not going to expect more than his brain is capable of. I will not put that kind of pressure on him.

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yes, college is an expectation for my ds. What form that takes will be determined by him. My dh did not finish a degree and regrets it. I didn't even go to college and don't truly regret it. However we hope ds will be well prepared to support himself and a family.

You know what's rather ironic? My husband is a mechanic. He's gotton all the certifications he needs to be a master mechanic. The problem? Last time he was out of work it took forever to find another job. He was overqualified. He had a friend that got a degree in engineering in his spare time. All he wanted, the same thing dh wants, was to know exactly how these things worked. Now, he's unhirable. No one will touch him. He laments the degree, because now he's 'forced' to work white collar and cannot do what he loves (rebuild cars).

 

Not to put the kabash on college, I just thought it was funny in a sad way.

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I guess I look at it differently.

I appreciate how everyone desires their children to go to college.

But, college isn't for everyone. Your job is just a way to provide for your "needs" and "desires". What good is it if you are not happy with the job that you have?

I look at things differently, for I have seen the results of my late husband (now deceased) not liking his job. I only want my children to be happy. If their career (love) doesn't require a degree, so be it. Making the "big bucks" doesn't make one happy, though it makes life easier.

I believe that God has different plans for each of our children, and as a parent I cannot make that decision, but only help, support, and guide my children.

Kelley

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I guess I look at it differently.

I appreciate how everyone desires their children to go to college.

But, college isn't for everyone. Your job is just a way to provide for your "needs" and "desires". What good is it if you are not happy with the job that you have?

I look at things differently, for I have seen the results of my late husband (now deceased) not liking his job. I only want my children to be happy. If their career (love) doesn't require a degree, so be it. Making the "big bucks" doesn't make one happy, though it makes life easier.

I believe that God has different plans for each of our children, and as a parent I cannot make that decision, but only help, support, and guide my children.

Kelley

There is more to college than just a means to an end. College does not just prepare one for a particular job. In college you get to explore areas of thought you might not otherwise. Become exposed to ideas that are shocking and challenging and provocative. One can meet and befriend people from diverse backgrounds. Make lifelong friends. Get riled up about a cause and join a movement. Experience independence but not responsibility (I admit, sometimes not such a good thing). Learn to defend your ideas or change your mind (sometimes weekly). College is an experience unlike any other and I don't want my dc to miss out on it. I'm sure many here can expound on all the non job-related benefits of college.

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Yes, we homeschool in such a way as to make college possible. And, in my mind, that means the best possible college I can teach toward (does that make sense?). I don't want my sons to be limited by my homeschooling choices. And if I homeschool with a view of college in mind, they should be well equipped for CC, voTec, etc. as well. If they choose another path when they graduate, so be it - it is their life.

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I realize all of the perks of college. I went to college...

I just realize that not everyone has that desire. I guess "I had to go to college" there was no option...

I want to provide that option for my children. It is a "not have to situation"....

I still school if they were to go to college, but I realize it is not up to me if they attend college or not. God has many different plans for all of us.

Kelley

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I look at things differently, for I have seen the results of my late husband (now deceased) not liking his job. I only want my children to be happy. If their career (love) doesn't require a degree, so be it. Making the "big bucks" doesn't make one happy, though it makes life easier.

 

I agree in principle, but I can also turn this argument on its head. My husband makes very good money, completely hates his job and has few options because he doesn't have a college degree.

 

Back when his parents were willing to support him going to college, he wasn't into it and was sure he could do fine without the degree. He was never particularly interested in a traditional, 9-to-5 job, anyway. So, he bounced around for a number of years having interesting experiences and doing non-traditional jobs to make ends meet. Then, when he decided it was time to grow up and wanted to earn a steady paycheck, he found a lot of doors closed to him because of his lack of education. And his parents had long since written off their willingness to subsidize college. I've encouraged him several times to consider going to college part time, but it becomes very difficult once you have a life and a family.

 

So, for us, college is a way to open doors, not close them.

 

And, as others have said, it's not even so much about the practical, dollars and cents end result of career preparation, but about the learning and growing that should take place during college. Again, my husband did not go to college, and I did. You'd be amazed at the number of times in a week that we realize I know and understand things he doesn't because I took a course.

 

With all that said, I also firmly believe that we are sending people to college who do not belong there, which I think is cheapening the experience and education for those who do. (Yeah, call me an elitist. It won't be the first time.) I do believe that kids should go to college because they want to and that they shouldn't be allowed to go if they're not fully prepared. I just can't imagine one of my kids being on the other side of either of those qualifications, though.

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Hmmmm ..... what are the odds you'd get a slew of posts declaring the dc are headed for college (like it or not, even!), and extolling the values of the experiences that can only be acquired by attending college, if you post that question on a board like the WTM ..... :toetap05: (me thinking) .... why, :ohmy:, it must be around 100%!!! Imagine that!

 

Just kidding. I coudn't resist. Seriously, though, we don't know what our dc are going to be when they grow up. :001_smile: (I couldn't resist that one either.)

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I'm sure many here can expound on all the non job-related benefits of college. .

 

Exactly. Job-related has little if anything to do with my reasons for expecting they go to college.

 

I'm not sure what you mean by 'expecting'

I half expect my son skip out on college entirely and do his own thing. Those creative, right-brained, motivated-about-their-own-interest young men. :lol:

 

So that's pretty much what I expect.

 

But I am putting on a pretty good show that I actually "expect" him to go to college ;)

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You know what's rather ironic? My husband is a mechanic. He's gotton all the certifications he needs to be a master mechanic. The problem? Last time he was out of work it took forever to find another job. He was overqualified. He had a friend that got a degree in engineering in his spare time. All he wanted, the same thing dh wants, was to know exactly how these things worked. Now, he's unhirable. No one will touch him. He laments the degree, because now he's 'forced' to work white collar and cannot do what he loves (rebuild cars).

 

We had this experience in a way. My husband did not go to college. He is just very smart and a very hard worker. He worked his way up in a family owned business from an entry level chemical operator to Vice President of Admin. with over 125 people under him. He worked there 18 years and toward the end, helped to grow the business by 50% for several years in a row. He was making a lot of money and getting a lot of perks.

Eventually, the company sold to a large corporation and all management was fired. It happened to be at a time of higher unemployment in the Chicago/ Milwaukee area, especially in that sector, and DH could not find another job. We looked for 6 months. Any job in his field required a degree. Most other jobs he was interested in he was "over qualified" for even without the degree. What a mess.

Finally, my MIL found an ad for a Shipping supervisor position in Arkansas, a place where we already owned land and planned to retire. The job paid less then 1/3 DH's previous salary and was many rungs below his previous position to say the least. To be completely honest, WE didn't care. But we knew he had no chance at the job unless we played our cards right. I wrote a cover letter for DH that addressed the issue directly. The Site Manager was so impressed, DH got an interview and eventually the job. He's been there five years now.

If I were the mechanic with an engineering degree who just wanted to be a mechanic, I would right a cover letter so intriguing that they couldn't help but call me for an interview. Then I'd wow and charm them in the interview to clinch the deal! It can be done. I believe it is a lot harder to go up the ladder w/out a degree then it is to go down the ladder with one.

I our case though, if DH had had a degree at the time he had been fired, he would have gotten a better job, paying more and we probably would not have had to move. He would have had options. As it was, we had to take the only job he was offered at a drastic reduction in pay, a cross county move and a huge change in lifestyle to say the least! As it turns out, we are happy here and DH likes his job. However, neither of us liked being left with so few options at the time.

I don't care if my DC wants to be a truck driver or a cosmetologist, or whatever. I say, get the degree first anyway. It has nothing to do with money. It has to do with being educated, and helping to ensure yourself more options no matter what career path you choose.

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Finally, my MIL found an ad for a Shipping supervisor position in Arkansas, a place where we already owned land and planned to retire. The job paid less then 1/3 DH's previous salary and was many rungs below his previous position to say the least. To be completely honest, WE didn't care. But we knew he had no chance at the job unless we played our cards right. I wrote a cover letter for DH that addressed the issue directly. The Site Manager was so impressed, DH got an interview and eventually the job. He's been there five years now.

 

If I were the mechanic with an engineering degree who just wanted to be a mechanic, I would right a cover letter so intriguing that they couldn't help but call me for an interview. Then I'd wow and charm them in the interview to clinch the deal! It can be done. I believe it is a lot harder to go up the ladder w/out a degree then it is to go down the ladder with one.

 

I don't care if my DC wants to be a truck driver or a cosmetologist, or whatever. I say, get the degree first anyway. It has nothing to do with money. It has to do with being educated, and helping to ensure yourself more options no matter what career path you choose.

 

I shortened your post, hope you don't mind...

 

When Drew finally got his job, where he works now, it happened after multiple referrels from the tool guys (salesmen) and weeks of me calling day after day, 'so, hired anyone? Andrew's still available!' A cover letter, sent to a garage, would not have gotton read. Perhaps at a dealership, but most mechanics that enjoy their work, avoid dealerships. The best garages, to work at, are family owned and regardless of how belly low you beg, they see certifications and degrees as money they do not want to spend.

 

That being said, while I know many people that have worked their way up, I know very few that can go in reverse, without the assistance of substance abuse problems. HOWEVER, you want the best for your dc, and if you believe the best comes with a degree, then more power to you.

 

I just wanted to point out the irony of being 'overqualified.'

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