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Is this a stage?


chai
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I have a 8/9 year old dd who seems to have turned her brain off. Is this a stage? My eager-to-learn child has changed into someone I don't know! She no longer wants to do her schoolwork although she still reads voraciously. She does well in math, but I have to hover to make sure that she keeps working. Some days, she will tell me she doesn't know how to do simple problems. Every once in a while, her old brilliance pokes out or I would completely despair.

 

She has become very emotional and has started to have separation-anxiety. She has become louder and more energetic. I've been reading books that tell me some of this is normal for the age, but how do you school around it? :confused:

 

Anyond BTDT?

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This sounds like the 7 year change but it could be the 9 year one. There is one they go through around 7. They regress in behavior, become defiant, forget all that they have learned and are just plain difficult.

 

After it is all over with you get a child who is more mature but very concerned about fairness on the other side. Has your child gone through this? If not this is probably what you are dealing with. We just sort of took a break from school, did the minimums, I spent a lot of time talking to her and answering questions and reassuring her.

 

If you have done this then it is probably the 9 year change which is an ushering in of puberty and is there are more issues with authority at this time. I havent' been through this but others may have rode out the rocky 9 to 10's and could give you more advice.

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My boys had ups and downs through each developmental stage, with the most brain-dead stage being when puberty kicked in between 12 - 13. Actually, I'm still waiting for this stage to blossom with my 2nd son, but have seen enough posts over the years to know it is typical and hard to figure out how to navigate through it.

 

I remember reading, when my kids were just toddlers, that children tend to have a period of regressing just when they are on the cusp of a big developmental leap. It has proven true for my 16 years of parenting, and it helps me to remember just how much work their bodies and brains are going through as they grow.

 

I'd keep lots of wonderful material available for her to read, decide on the barest minimum amount of other academics you are comfortable with and wait patiently for this stage to pass. There have been periods when I've been comfortable enough with my child simply reading and doing math, perhaps only asking for writing once a week or even less. Your dd is still young enough to have fun with some games -- for instance, when my boys were younger, we spent some fun rainy afternoons diagramming silly Mad Lib sentences!

 

What's the line from the Bette Davis movie, something like "Fasten your seatbelts, its going to be bumpy ride" -- that applies to the next 4 years of your life as your dd makes it through puberty! Good luck, be good to yourself so you can be as loving and patient as possible! With maturity, her brain will re-engage, and you'll be enjoying her educational journey again.

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I was hoping that we would get through this in another month or two. I don't know if I can handle years of it!

 

I didn't see too much of a change at 7, but since she was still easy to deal with, maybe I just missed it. I am seeing some authority issues, so perhaps it's the start of puberty? :eek: My little girl?!

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  • 2 weeks later...

Found this post today. This may well be the starting of puberty and may or may not last untiil puberty is done in various forms. Not promising, eh?

 

But, my 9 1/2 yo, who is vs so tends to be like this anyway, has shown some improvement lately. And she's definitely hormonal. First, for the first time in her life she regularly gets changed right after dance class and comes out to me just like all the other girls, and she's getting more focused in dance class (but not a serious dancer.) Secondly, she's very focused in history now, even the book she thought was boring, because she loves history and really wants to study it. I'm still waiting to see improvement everywhere else

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