mamapjama Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I feel I should have time set up for ds (almost 7) to play with other children his age. We are rural so he does not have a lot of spontaneous play with the neighbor type of play. But he gets SO hyper when he is around other kids. The other family just left and I'm exhausted. I discussed the type of behaviour I expected to see from him before the family arrived. He knew exactly what I expected and knew the consequences of his behaviour. We have talked about how parents see him when he is running, being loud, silly etc. and how they may not call and invite them to their house etc. A lot of this is part of his physical make up. I know that. He is an active kid. But I'm exhausted and really don't see the benefit of continuing these types of things when I'm feeling badly. When the other family was trying to get ready to go I was trying to keep my son and their older son calm but my younger son was being obsessive about the baby whose mother was trying to get him into a snowsuite. It was chaos! Normal? Worth it? Keep plugging away and teaching him or wait until he is older and handles these situations better? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snickerdoodle Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 If I was the other mother, I would have been relieved to see your son acting this way (because sometimes I think mine are the only ones who do this..) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iquilt Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 Yes they are! And we limit ourselves to scheduled playdates because they can be so hard, especially at someone's house. We tend to meet people out at other activities more, that way it's easier to leave when my son has had enough or we don't have to kick people out if we are done before they are! We have some spontaneous play with neighbors when the weather is nice, but that is fairly rare as our neighbors seem to be highly scheduled already and not around very much. I used to make myself host weekly playdates because I was convinced they were so important, but I just don't think they are that important. Maybe it's because they are older now or maybe I've just wised up a bit. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommamia Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I completely agree that they are a lot of work. Many times after a play date I think "why do I put myself through this". We usually do them for dinner now(as a family). The kids have time with friends, dh and I have adult time. We are all happy! Plus, when it's in the evening.....having a glass of wine sure helps too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamapjama Posted January 16, 2009 Author Share Posted January 16, 2009 Thanks ladies:grouphug: I really needed this tonight! I get so frustrated feeling like it's only my child. He is a wonderful boy, and I adore him like crazy. Scheduled activities are so much better for us. Unfortunately we've been cooped up with minus 30 weather and going a little stir crazy without adding other boys to the mix!! I can't tell you how much I needed to hear your words tonight :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 It might be easier to plan play dates at the park. Lots of room to run, ok to scream and yell and when you've had enough, you can leave. Other alternatives are to visit museums or other places with a friend or 2. We have a good fine arts museum with a wonderful children's area. Of course the fact that it's free helps too! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 That is exactly what came to my mind! My son is almost 7. He acts like a total monkey sometimes. Every time I try to leave some people's homes and he is having a good time it takes several tries and sometimes threats. LOL :D I find it exhausting to worry about it. I don't know how to stop worrying though! You aren't alone. I imagine it gets a little easier as they get older. A-yup. One boy who visits is just fine until time to leave, and then he has to be carried, kicking and screaming. Tonight the boys brought home a grandma and a 5 year old from the park (they've met over the years many times), and this little boy urged my son to hide with him when it was time to go. It was actually very sweet, but nothing my son would have come up with, and it was amazing to see them both so silent for 5 minutes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom2boys Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 It might be easier to plan play dates at the park. Lots of room to run, ok to scream and yell and when you've had enough, you can leave. Other alternatives are to visit museums or other places with a friend or 2. We have a good fine arts museum with a wonderful children's area. Of course the fact that it's free helps too! :D :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gamommy Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 I'm with you on exhausting playdates. I try to schedule them a bit more formally now or meet as an OP suggested at the park, playground, etc. Tonight we're having a sleepover which I can only put myself through a few times a year. Perhaps I'm odd but I find it hard to completely relax with others in the house. Through our local h/s group we met a family with two daughters that are very close in age to our two olders. This time we did a girl swap. My oldest and hers are at her home, the other two are sleeping here. That's made it a bit easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyWImom Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 We live out in the country also, and that is one of the negatives. I can't stand playdates (also-can't stand the name:ack2:). It's totally stressful, because if you aren't friends with the mom, and the kids don't know each other real well, you don't know what to expect, you don't know how they are about things, etc... I'm a tense mess until it's over! Now, my dd has a pretty good friend that we get together with on a regular basis, but otherwise it's just at hs groups. I feel your pain.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 We've mostly had playdates with families we are all glad to see. I'm not good at my own advice but I think shorter playdates are the answer. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Closeacademy Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 We formed a playgroup and meet at the park on a regular basis. The kids take off and play and run and scream and have fun for 2 hours while the adults sit on a bench to supervise and talk. We do the occassional playdate at our house but they are usually about an hour long and since the children see each other regularly they are usually less hyper and just get down to playing. Just some ideas. Regularity helps.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jill Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Agreed and I have some of the same problem here. When it's 30 below zero, the park is not a good place to play! The past several months, I have just not really done those dates unless I knew for sure we were going to a place (like a gym) where running jumping and shouting was going to be socially acceptable. We joined the local homeschoolers gym class, twice a week too. We drive about 10 miles for that - not too bad. Wish us luck today - we'll be at an understanding friend's house though so that helps my anxiety. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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