Is anyone here familiar with "Justice Walking"? (cc) Am I sheltering dd too much?

[Jackie in NE]

This is a Catholic youth program that I thought would be a good idea for my dd, age 14.

 

The program is designed to get young people to have a social justice frame of mind. The group will read and discuss 2 books: No Room at the Table, by Donald Dunson, and How Much is Enough?, by Arthur Simon. They will also get some hands on experience working in social justice type areas such as Habitat for Humanity, Special Olympics, Hospice, etc.

 

We just received the books yesterday, and I began pre-reading No Room at the Table last night. Now, I've read books about the genocide in Rwanda, child soldiers in Siera Leone, and the genocide in Darfur. But this book made me feel sick to my stomach. Perhaps it was because I imagined dd reading it? I can't imagine my dd having the pictures in her mind that I currently have in mine.

 

Granted, my dd has been sheltered in that she doesn't get to watch TV, or watch inappropriate movies. She has a very sweet and gentle spirit. But she did read The Twelve Caesars cover to cover in Omnibus last year. Anyone who's read that knows that there is content which is offensive (those guys were depraved). The depravity was discussed in a way which made sense to dd. In that "this is how people sometimes act when they are without Christ". So my point is that dd can intellectually understand depravity. But is she emotionally ready for the content of No Room at the Table ?

 

I'm considering NOT letting her be a part of this group. She would be fine with that. What I'm wrestling with is whether or not I'm being overly protective.... I think the group has merit. And social justice is high on my list of priorities/concerns......

 

What would you do????? Any thoughts are welcome.

 

:bigear::bigear:

[Sugarfoot]

Hi, Jackie,

 

I haven't read the book, but I completely understand where you're coming from. I agree with you. I think that having a heart for others/working toward social justice can be done without exposing children to too much too early. The religious ed program at our parish has a unit on sexu@lity every year beginning in 3rd grade. My kids skipped it. It was just too much information at their particular developmental stage, and many of the public school kids aren't near as "sheltered" as mine and bring up topics/questions that push the material farther than it would go on it's own. So, that's something you have to consider in a group, too. It's not just the book/discussion with you, it's what will everyone else bring up on top of the book. Personality plays a role, too, in how bothered by things your DD is. Mine are sensitive to the pain of others to the point that they're bothered by things they read or see long after they've read/seen it. They're also not super mature for their ages. If your instinct is telling you that it might be too much, there's probably a reason.:)

[abreakfromlife]

I don't know.....I've never read those books. Have you looked at any of Gary Haugen's books? He's the president of IJM - International Justice Mission. They do fantastic work. He's written a couple of books about christians and social justice, and his book Terrify No More, might be a slightly more gentle introduction to it for her........I don't think 14 is too young at all to start being aware and getting involved. (I don't really think Hospice or Special Olympics is exactly social justice, though - they are good organizations, but not a justice organization. I digress.) If you didn't want her doing that, she could still get involved somehow on her own, or with you. I'm sure there are some fair trade stores in your area that she could...I don't know. Do something for, to bring awareness to it, or something.

[Strawberry Queen]

I guess what I would question is the idea that one has to immerse oneself in the information to help others. It makes sense to do that if you are actively campaigning to reform that abuse. It would definitely help to give information and to possibly change hearts to see that evil is real and active. But, does it help form her character to dwell on these things?

 

I can work for Habitat for Humanity without having to go into the depths of each person's story. I can stand against sexual child slavery without having to read and read and read about all of the abuses these children have suffered. I can totally understand the need to do this if you are actually working with the abused children, but it might not be that helpful to your daughter. Too much information divorced from the individual may cause more harm than good. You don't want her to be overloaded and feel that there is nothing that can be done to combat that level of evil.

 

If you're concerned about sheltering her and social justice, you could take time to help out at a soup kitchen, or even stay out on the street together one night to see what it is like being homeless.(obviously not in a dangerous area) ;)

[abreakfromlife]

I don't know that I agree. To truly feel compassion for someone, you have to know them and love them and be motivated to really do something. Most conscionable human beings will tsk tsk and 'feel sad' over things like child slavery, but how many of us actually do something about it? We have to enter into the depths of it to make a difference. Human slavery, the sex trade, homelessness isn't going to be solved with one big answer or one great idea or a huge wad of money. The problem gets solved, one slave at a time. One homeless person who gets a job and education at a time. To really be a change-maker, we have to go down into the muddy depths of despair with someone and help bring them out. That is why the problems are being solved so slowly. Not many people are willing to enter that place.

 

I read this quote the other day by Madeline L'Engle and I just love it.

"We either add to the darkness of indifference and out-and-out evil which surround us or we light a candle to see by."

[Julie in Austin]

I haven't read the books, but I just wanted to say this: your daughter is a matter of months from being a legal adult. At some point, she'll need to make her own decisions about what she wants in her brain. I frequently put down books in the middle, avoid certain movies, etc., because I don't want depraved images in my head. No one is out there protecting me from that stuff--I'm an adult and so I have to do it myself.

 

I wonder if you have considered telling her your opinion of the material and letting her make her own decision, which might be to participate in the group without reading (or: without reading certain parts of) the materials? Or: writing a letter to the group explaining why she won't be participating? etc.

 

Maybe I'm not explaining myself well, but I wonder if it might be doing a disservice to your nearly-adult daughter to make this decision for her instead of letting her do it herself.

[NCMom]

I disagree that 14 is merely months from being an adult and believe that only you as the parent can decide if this is the right time to have her introduced to those topics. 14 is, imho, not an age where every child can discern what will affect them and to what extent.

 

I say this from the viewpoint of a mom who has two that could take things like that in stride and one who cannot. I say go with your gut about what is right for her; I only wish my mom had made ~any~ of those decisions for me. :sad:

 

hth,

Georgia

[HRAAB]

Well, 14 is not a few months from being an adult. It's a few + years, and few years can a make a huge difference in maturity and what they can handle. You know you dd best, and need to follow your heart on this one. Don't forget that those images and words will forever be part of her after she reads those books. That which is inappropriate and could cause harm to her now might be handled differently in a year or two.

 

I haven't read those particular books, but I have a very good of what they contain. No, I wouldn't turn them over to my 14 yr old dd's, because I know them and what they can handle. However, I would probably read them together in a few years.

 

Janet

[Jackie in NE]

Thanks to all of you for your responses. My gut feeling is to wait a year (or more) on this group. If I left the decision up to dd, she would quickly opt out of the group, not because of the material covered, but because she doesn't want to be in a group with kids she doesn't know too well, and which is made up of mostly (but not all) boys.

 

But now that I've read part of the first book, I can say that I would feel VERY uncomfortable in a group of mostly boys discussing the plight of an 11 year old girl who has been forced to have s*x with 15 men/night. Oh. My. Goodness. I think I just decided......

 

Dh is going to start reading the book tonight. We'll see what he thinks...

 

Thanks again,

 

Jackie

[Strawberry Queen]

I don't know that I agree. To truly feel compassion for someone, you have to know them and love them and be motivated to really do something. Most conscionable human beings will tsk tsk and 'feel sad' over things like child slavery, but how many of us actually do something about it? We have to enter into the depths of it to make a difference. Human slavery, the sex trade, homelessness isn't going to be solved with one big answer or one great idea or a huge wad of money. The problem gets solved, one slave at a time. One homeless person who gets a job and education at a time. To really be a change-maker, we have to go down into the muddy depths of despair with someone and help bring them out. That is why the problems are being solved so slowly. Not many people are willing to enter that place.

 

I agree that one needs to know and love the person to be able to help them, but if the person reading the book is not at the stage to help then I'm not sure of the value. I watched a tv doc on David Suzuki and his adult daughter. He is a well-known scientist/environmentalist in Canada and has been active in educating people. His own daughter knew tons of information about the environment but felt unable to make a difference. She saw it as being such a huge problem and watched the years of effort that didn't change anything which were hugely discouraging for her as she was growing up.

She knew the environment and all of the good things that could be done but she felt so powerless to effect change because of the depth of her exposure. This is the part that I would want to avoid in exposing a young teen to. It would be better to focus on things closer to home that she could change, rather than confronting something as impossible as the Rwandan situation(if I'm getting the subject of the book right from the OP).

 

Injustice does need to be confronted and dealt with by looking at the truth of each situation. But it might be better for it to be at a time when one can actually go and help those individuals and know them, instead of just another academic exercise.

[Julie in Austin]

I disagree that 14 is merely months from being an adult

 

 

Whoa! Sorry! Somehow I read the original post as saying 17. :blush:

 

I retract every single thing I said.

 

Don't let her read it.