ereks mom Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 ER came home 3 weeks ago yesterday, and still has a few days left on his break: move-in day at the dorm will be this coming Sunday, and his spring semester classes start on Tuesday. When he first came home, it took him several days to wind down after the furious pace of carrying 9 classes fall semester plus the extra-curriculars required of music majors. He enjoyed staying in his pj's all day a couple of days; he has played video games with EK, played computer games by himself, played his guitar, read the third Eragon book, and in addition to the flurry of Christmas activities, we've all visited family, watched movies, and played board games together. But he has started getting bored now, especially these past few days. His "old" hometown buddies are all back at work or school now, and I know he misses his "new" college friends, and probably even misses going to class! And as much as I've liked having him home for this long break (3 1/2 weeks), I've found myself looking forward to getting back into a routine. I hate for him to leave, so I feel a little guilty for feeling that way! And at the same time I'm sad that he is bored and ready to go back! I'm probably not the only one to experience these emotions, and I guess it's just one more thing to get used to now that my son is a college student. :001_unsure: Crazy, isn't it!!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Marple Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 I asked my son if he would go offer his services to his previous employer. And they did actually call him the other night to fill in for someone. He has one more week to go here at home, but his close friends have already gone back. We started school Monday and he's quite a disruptive factor! I've made grocery lists, sent him on errands, had him work outside some since the weather was nice, and he is still bored. Guess it means he's ready to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted January 8, 2009 Share Posted January 8, 2009 to help him feel needed and wanted, even if his "usual job" is away at college now. I'd ask him to work on projects half the day, rest up half the day in prep for the rigors of school, get extra exercise, and I'd plan family activities such as game nights in the evenings...something nice and memorable. Ds is out digging up rotten fence posts as we speak, while there is a reprieve from our upcoming Texas winter weather, and he'll be working on light car maintenance next week. (He's the only one *not* working at the moment, as the two younger have started back to school, and there no extra budget for car repairs, sooo...he's earning his keep! :) ) hth Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 8, 2009 Author Share Posted January 8, 2009 (edited) As he was growing up, he was always such a "homebody" -- content to be home most of the time and usually not too interested in social activities (not that he was a hermit, but just that he could always find plenty to do at home to entertain himself -- reading books, building with Legos, riding his bicycle, jumping on the trampoline, playing his guitar, walking in the woods out back...) and now he's... well... different. Dh & I were just talking this morning about how much ER has grown and changed since he went away to college just over 4 months ago. Yeah, as CynthiaOK said, I guess it means he's ready to go. This week, with only a few days left before ER returns to college, I find myself cooking his favorite foods for supper and suggesting family game or movie nights & such each evening. Edited January 8, 2009 by ereks mom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I think it's a sign that you did a good job, Mom. You filled him up, so that he could go out into the world, and be a man. You really wouldn't feel better, would you, if he came home and never wanted to leave? You've done your job, now he can do his--leave, and grow, explore and become what he was designed to become. He honors you by casting out and off to the "far away places" that have been waiting for him. You have been a blessing to him, and now he is blessing you with the knowledge that you have raised a capable young adult, willing to look for his life. Still, it stings a bit, doesn't it? To know our job is to become almost obsolete. Not really, tho--they still need us, and you are about to discover a new phase of parenting. It's as much a new skill for you to learn how to be his Mom now as it is for him to learn to lean more on himself. I think it's a time of mixed emotions--but know this--Ya done good, Girl! Really, truly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 He could do what nutty old me spent every vacation in all 7 years of undergrad and 4 years of professional school: spend it studying for the next quarter/semester. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Mine are teens and we were looking at old pictures tonight. I miss my little ones. I think you'll always treasure his childhood! Mixed feelings seem normal. I have to say that my heart goes out to you when I read your posts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 (edited) Yep, before my ds left for Tokyo, we had his choice for food everyday. We played family board games at night. He read to his sisters and spent extra time with them. I kept just trying to fill him up and hug him every chance I got. You have done a great job. Otherwise, he'd be hiding in the corner refusing to go back instead of pacing and getting ready. And you need a cousin like I have - he is now almost 60 and has never left home. As I raised my kids, I kept telling myself that I didn't want them to turn out like my cousin Ed. He is smart, hard working, and great with his hands. He built himself his own house on his own land which he owns with no mortgage. He just never moved out of his Momma's house. I am not at all ready for Tony to leave and grow up, but I am happy that he has the courage to step out into the world on his own. Edited January 9, 2009 by Karen in CO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 9, 2009 Author Share Posted January 9, 2009 Still, it stings a bit, doesn't it? To know our job is to become almost obsolete. Not really, tho--they still need us, and you are about to discover a new phase of parenting. It's as much a new skill for you to learn how to be his Mom now as it is for him to learn to lean more on himself. I think it's a time of mixed emotions--but know this--Ya done good, Girl! Really, truly. In some ways, letting go is getting just a smidgen easier as I learn to move forward in my new role. But I miss the "old days" when we colored together or snuggled on the couch and read together, and a million other things. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Chris, This made me cry. I was feeling very conflicted myself over how happy and in her water dd felt about college (she has always been outgoing). She loves college. She was home for about 3 weeks before heading back to work on campus this week. She was hyped to go... She doesn't know how I lament her being thrilled at leaving us, but I do love he being happy and faaling challenged. I guess it's because it's a point of no return.... I think it's a sign that you did a good job, Mom. You filled him up, so that he could go out into the world, and be a man. You really wouldn't feel better, would you, if he came home and never wanted to leave? You've done your job, now he can do his--leave, and grow, explore and become what he was designed to become. He honors you by casting out and off to the "far away places" that have been waiting for him.You have been a blessing to him, and now he is blessing you with the knowledge that you have raised a capable young adult, willing to look for his life. Still, it stings a bit, doesn't it? To know our job is to become almost obsolete. Not really, tho--they still need us, and you are about to discover a new phase of parenting. It's as much a new skill for you to learn how to be his Mom now as it is for him to learn to lean more on himself. I think it's a time of mixed emotions--but know this--Ya done good, Girl! Really, truly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 9, 2009 Author Share Posted January 9, 2009 Yes, that describes it exactly. And I know what you mean about feeling conflicted. I am both happy AND sad about the exact same thing: happy that he is enjoying college -- I don't want to think about how awful it would be if he weren't! -- but at the same time I am sad that he is enjoying something that separates him from us. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 Yes, it is kind of crazy. My son has an apartment at college now, so he can come and go more on a schedule that pleases him. He went back for New Years Eve, and then came home again for a few more days. I love having him here, and yet yes, some days I look forward to having "life as normal" which sad to say, is more and more becoming life with just the little boys and with him off at college or out in the world. It was so hard to adjust to him leaving, and now it's hard to adjust when he comes back, and yet I like him to come back. I've decided that a week is the perfect amount of time to have him back. He catches up on sleep, appreciates the good meals, plays a lot with his brothers, and then leaves before he starts getting on my nerves and I on his. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted January 9, 2009 Share Posted January 9, 2009 I've paid my college son to 'tutor' his sibs. He's currently working with his teen sister on a biogrpahy she is doing; taking her to the bigger city library etc. Last summer (even though he was working) he helped her with a literature study. They chose the subject together and I did nothing, which was nice. I know she appreciates his help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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