I could really use your opinions

[MelanieMac]

If you have an opinion (& who doesn't) I would like to hear it... This is really long. Sorry! I am new to TWTM but not to homeschooling. My ds 10, is currently in 6th grade in the local PS after 3&1/2 years at home where he covered 4 &1/2 years of schooling without excess effort. My dd 6, is in 1st grade in the same school & in the poorly funded, 3 hrs a week, pull out gifted program. Getting her tested for that program showed an IQ over 160 (the ceiling for that test). She was “homeschooled†via listening to her brother’s lessons until last year. My anxiety disordered ds is getting ready for – dun dun dun dun- MIDDLE SCHOOL! His guidance counselor recommends against him going there given his “issuesâ€. Since I put my ds back into school, my husband thinks it is great because of “socialization†issues. There are no playmates in the immediate area we recently moved to, but he also has no friends at school. I have some options to consider for next year, and I could use some clear-thinking input. I am usually great at weighing all options, but I must be too close to this one. First, I could pull both my kids out of the ps and homeschool them using classical education (both love to read, love history & geography & science, are 4 years apart in age- perfect for the “cycleâ€) but this would take some convincing of the dh. I work as a mental health counselor, but have a fairly flexible schedule and see most of my clients between 1:30 and 7:30. Second, there is a magnet school for the gifted about 12 miles away that he could qualify for. It is 7th and 8th grade but there are the anxiety concerns and the annual FCAT which he does well on but it causes undo anxiety. I could leave my ds in her ps & let her try to excel in mediocrity. Third, ds qualifies for the McKay Scholarship which is a FL thing. It pays for about $7K of his tuition to certain private schools. There is one in town that he could attend- they use PACE style packets so each child works at his own pace, but it is really geared more toward the slow learner, not the advanced, so I am concerned about him not being stimulated. Also, we have never used the PACE concept so I am not sure how he would do with that. Then, again, I would have to figure out what to do with my ds- she could also attend the private school, but we would have to pay all $8K of the tuition for her, which is not out of the question, just a little painful. Some points I am concerned about: my son has dysgraphia (& not just a little!), my daughter requires constant stimulation and is starting to hate school (at 6!), my husband is not thrilled with the idea of the kids being at home but only because they really need more friends like they had last year before we moved, I am at wits end trying to advocate for my kids and feeling like I am not getting anywhere. Any ideas, suggestions, whatever is greatly appreciated. I am just a little overwhelmed with indecision right now and could use a shove in the right direction. J.

[Lovedtodeath]

My first thought is to get your son age-appropriate socialization at a daycare center, church activity or some type of program like 4H or Scouts. Not at a school where he is put in with older children. There are daycamps for a variety of activities. My DDs friend went to dance camp for a week. HTH

[myfunnybunch]

In this case if it's possible for you to homeschool both children, it might be best for both of them.

 

Your youngest would be challenged academically. Your family could get involved in morning activities with other homeschoolers, or in an after-school program while you work if you're concerned about the social piece for her.

 

Your oldest would likely benefit as well. Middle school socialization and anxiety issues are not a good mix. If he's not developing positive friendships, the socialzation piece isn't really there anyway, right?

 

It sounds like you're inclined toward homeschooling and your dh is the one to convince, and that his concerns are mainly the social aspects. It might be wise to do your homework and have a "socialization plan" to present to your dh as you make a case for homeschooling: What social-educational activities are available for homeschoolers in your community, activities your children will participate in, when-where-how will they get there, the benefits of those activities over the kinds of socialization they'd get in a school.

 

Cat

[Peek a Boo]

In this case if it's possible for you to homeschool both children, it might be best for both of them.

 

Your youngest would be challenged academically. Your family could get involved in morning activities with other homeschoolers, or in an after-school program while you work if you're concerned about the social piece for her.

 

Your oldest would likely benefit as well. Middle school socialization and anxiety issues are not a good mix. If he's not developing positive friendships, the socialzation piece isn't really there anyway, right?

 

It sounds like you're inclined toward homeschooling and your dh is the one to convince, and that his concerns are mainly the social aspects. It might be wise to do your homework and have a "socialization plan" to present to your dh as you make a case for homeschooling: What social-educational activities are available for homeschoolers in your community, activities your children will participate in, when-where-how will they get there, the benefits of those activities over the kinds of socialization they'd get in a school.

 

Cat

 

i agree.

do YOU have a problem going out of your way to find social outlets for them?

 

I've liked Scouts and 4-H because I can help direct the program and/or yank them out if we needed to.

 

 

one thing i noticed is that it can be difficult to find homeschoolers who are a good match locally, but they might be hiding nearby. Homeschoolers aren't always that obvious. You gotta look w/ a microscope and KEEP looking. i recently found a family not far away that is an EXCELLENT fit for my second and third ds, and it had been my 2d [Mr. Loner!] that i was looking for [oldest is a social butterfly]. But i had to sift through a lot of groups and met them via a friend of a friend of a friend kinda thing.

 

good luck!

[MelanieMac]

Thanks for the good start. I am leaning toward homeschooling for both, so i guess if i can get a plan together to "sell" the idea to my dh, i might go for it again. We have my dd in scouts (Daisy Scout how cute), but when my ds crossed over from cub to boy scout he didn't care for it- he wasn't really ready at 10...

 

I will certainly look into some more socialization opportunities- it is harder here in our sleeply little town than it was in suburban Atlanta where I constantly had to say NO MORE ACTIVITIES! just to get school done. I do see a Classical Conversation meeting not too far away, so I will look into that as well. Thanks for a starting place... any more ideas are always appreciated. What seems obvious for someone else is just not seen in your own situation :tongue_smilie:.

[MBH]

I would homeschool all three. Once you find homeschooling friends, your husband will change his opinion.

The negatives of ps/private school are overwhelming to me. With homeschooling, I can control whom they socialize with. With ps/private school, it's next to impossible, not to mention the other problems.

To be honest, now that my kids are in high school and swim team, we don't have much time for socialization.

There are many homeschooling books out there that talk about the negatives of too much socialization. It's been years since I've read them, but I have to agree that not all socialization is good for our children and us.

The Bible has a lot to say about that as well. It talks about being careful who we associate with. The book of Proverbs is full of advice on this.

If your children join a homeschooling activity group such as swimming or debate, they will find lots of friends. Perhaps so much so that you may end up sifting through people to see who shares your values and keep a few as your friends.

I will pray that the Lord would lead you to the right choice and that you would have peace concerning your decision.

[Anne]

You've gotten some great advice which I agree with and won't repeat. :001_smile:

 

I'll just speak to the private school which uses PACE - I have to tell you that I think that these are a disaster for most children, and especially for bright children. The PACEs are, imnho, read-and-regurgitate taken to the dullest degree.

 

Anne

[MelanieMac]

The PACEs are, imnho, read-and-regurgitate taken to the dullest degree.

 

Anne

 

Thanks. I kind of got that feeling, but have heard so many people rave about them. My kids are more the go-in-depth kind & my ds HATES the regurgitate part of school as it is.

[Lovedtodeath]

I forgot about yahoo groups. I find that in my area there is a yahoo group and they get together for gym class. I found them by asking around at the downtown library.

[newlifemom]

Thanks. I kind of got that feeling, but have heard so many people rave about them. My kids are more the go-in-depth kind & my ds HATES the regurgitate part of school as it is.

 

From what I have seen of PACE, I am not impressed. I cannot tell you how many people I know who have graduated from private Christian schools using that program who know next to nothing academically. In your situation I seriously doubt it would be a good fit. Honestly I think you should do what the others said. Present your ideas to dh in a systematic(sp?) approach with answers before about how and why you want to address socialization. I don't think age integrated socialization is the best for impressionable children. Although I do participate in some age integrated activities it is not so much for socialization it is more for my children getting information from a different source. Good luck to you.

[catalinakel]

Another vote against PACEs. I doubt if any child who has used them would be considered well educated. A very poor excuse of a curriculum.

 

My kids were homeschooled, and now go to public schools. But they have never needed to have many friends. Not that they don't like to interact with other kids. And not that we live in the woods and not near anyone else. Or that I am trying to shelter them from other kids. But they are best pals with each other, and that has pretty much been enough. So for me, figuring friends into schooling choices just doesn't figure much. but that is just me.

 

My gifted son would be a great candidate for unschooling because he loves to keep himself occupied with brilliant stuff. But I can't have him home these days because I need to work. so we try to provide what we can at home, and plenty of time for self-pursuit. So lots of friend time would even get into the way with this also.

 

I don't know,,,,for me the whole need for lots of friends just doesn't come up with my kids. Even though I was a very social child. there will be plenty of time for that when they are more grown up (high school and up?) because for now they love being home and playing with each other, and they have plenty to do with homework, so are not bored. hope this helps.

[MelanieMac]

My gifted son would be a great candidate for unschooling because he loves to keep himself occupied with brilliant stuff. But I can't have him home these days because I need to work. so we try to provide what we can at home, and plenty of time for self-pursuit. So lots of friend time would even get into the way with this also.

 

Yes, I have seen that too many friends can intrude on our learning. Luckily my son is not the many friends sort. He really likes having just one or two good buds. Hopefully, I can find him a place to make a few without cluttering up his day too much.

 

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

[MelanieMac]

I think I have convinced dh that I should homeschool ds next year... I used the "bad socialization is worse than no socialization" argument. That seems to have worked. With ds being a skinny little kid that has already skipped a year, he is WAY to young and "chess clubby" to make it through middle school without getting shoved into a locker. I love him, but the kid is not cut out to handle 7th grade middle school at 10:-).

 

I have read TWTM & am working on a schedule. My biggest concern, though, is still the socialization issue. If you have any online homeschool "friends" that live in Brevard County, FL that have groups they belong to, I would really appreciate a link.

 

Also, since he is VERY DiSgrAphiC, do any of you have a recommendation for a writing/spelling curriculum?

 

Thanks!!!

[katemary63]

The negatives of ps/private school are overwhelming to me.

 

:iagree:

I too, am just over the edge when it comes to sending my kids to PS. The risks to body, mind and soul are just too great.

 

The whole "socialization" thing is hooey. Kid's need occasional, supervised interaction with other kids. Not 6 - 8 hours a day with who-knows-who and little to no supervision much of the time. That's what PS offers. It's not socialization, its bedlam.

 

My daughter is 7. She has weekly co-op music class, weekly, co-op PE, Wed. night Awanas, Sunday School, Upwards Cheerleading, Swimming lessons in the summer and 4-H meetings a couple times a month as well as 2-3 play dates per month. Every one of these social interactions happens in my presence or the presence of another trusted adult - More then enough "socialization" - little to no risk of her being bullied, teased, humiliated, manipulated or exposed to things that would harm her.

 

I would homeschool for this reason alone.

[katemary63]

Join 4-H. It's outstanding AND educational and NOT just for rural kids. Did you know 4-H has a robotics team, technology club, computer club, etc. and national competitions for just about everything including public speeking, essay writing bicycle riding/ safty and chicken cooking? 4-H offers HEALTHY socialization, leadership oportunities galore, community service etc. etc. etc. and FUN! 4-H is the bomb and why more people don't join is beyond me.

[Unicorn.]

 

Also, since he is VERY DiSgrAphiC, do any of you have a recommendation for a writing/spelling curriculum?

 

Thanks!!!

 

My friend loves Sequential Spelling for her dysgraphic son! It really helps them to see the words. I don't have a link for you, but if you can't find it by googling, you can ask on the curriculum board. HTH