How do you respond when homeless people ask you for money?

[LBC]

This happens to me often. Tonight I was out getting groceries, and a man approached me in a very dark parking lot to ask me for money.

 

I've had differing thoughts on this. I assume the money will be used for drugs and alcohol, which I don't really want to support. That said, me not giving a guy a few bucks isn't going to solve his addiction problem. Not only that, but if I had to sleep outdoors, in the winter, in Canada, I'd kinda like it if someone would help me get a little something to take the edge off, if you know what I mean. :sad:

 

So, what are your thoughts? Any strong opinions? Any well researched studies? Any prayerful considerations?

 

Lori

ETA: In Canada (at least where I live), I think we have more addicts on the street, and fewer mentally ill - although there are certainly some. We have a different health care system, so there seems to be quite a bit of help for the mentally ill.

Edited January 6, 2009 by LBC

[Plucky]

It depends on the circumstance. I give money to some people I see regularly. There are some that are obviously mentally ill or autistic that I look for. I'm fairly sympathetic to most homeless. I also believe that most addicts are people self medicating that probably need counseling and real meds. We have a lot of homeless in our downtown area and there is a mission and soup kitchen. The churches open their doors and let them sleep on the pews. My church has a homeless mission and we provide essentials, coats, blankets, etc. It's a hard life.

 

ETA: I wouldn't give anyone anything in the dark. I have been approached in a not great neighborhood at night by 2 men. I made them stay back and away. They weren't happy at all and began cursing me. Ah, well, if they don't understand that you don't approach women at night they need more help than I can give.

Edited January 6, 2009 by True Blue

[TN Mama]

I'm typically not approached while walking where I live, but more often it is people on the side of the road at a stoplight. When I have been approached on the streets (while walking) I don't feel comfortable pulling out my wallet. I've struggled with feeling like I want to help and not wanting to put myself/family at risk and after thought, prayer & discussion we decided to carry granola bars/peanut butter crackers & water in the van. This way at stoplights when there is someone asking for money because they are homeless/hungry we can help without giving currency. It won't solve the country's homeless problem, but it's something I suppose.

[Joanne]

Tonight I was out getting groceries, and a man approached me in a very dark parking lot to ask me for money.

 

I've had differing thoughts on this. I assume the money will be used for drugs and alcohol, which I don't really want to support. That said, me not giving a guy a few bucks isn't going to solve his addiction problem.

 

I would never appreciate being approached by a single male in a dark parking lot. I'd give every homeless male credit for knowing better; that it was unkind, discourteous and rude. In that circumstance, no, I would not give.

 

There is a homeless man who attends my poker venue job. It's "free" poker; they expect you to buy a meal or a drink (it does not have to be alcohol). This man "hangs" with a local group of homeless people. Of the 4 I've heard of, none have substance abuse issues. Issues, yes.

 

The man I know has a beer on occassion but is much more likely to have a coffee or coke. We, as a poker community, give him $5, $10 or so, buy him a drink and offer him meals. He recently was kicked out of his apartment (set up by the church he and his buddies attended). He wasn't sure why. He asked me for a sleeping bag; I gave him one.

 

We also hired this man to work our Fireworks Stand, but did not allow him to work without another adult. He said he'd make more money panhandling, but was willing to help us out. :001_huh::confused::lol:

 

Anyway, this doesn't really answer your question. Knowing this man has put a face to homeless for me and my family (he also attended our church's Thanksgiving Feast at my invite and chose to attend services before hand as well).

 

Most addicts are never homeless; most live lives quite like your neighbors.

[FO4UR]

My first thought is for your safety. I've been approached in a parking lot before...and I'll just say I don't think the guy wanted $. Had it not been for a random guy pulling up in his car to grocery shop, I would have been a statistic imo. This happened within days of an abduction/rape/murder that happened in our area...in a parking lot!

 

I don't say that to needlessly scare anyone, but it's a real danger. I avoid being out alone at night at all costs at this point. If I have to go somewhere, I park under a lamp with my door facing the entry to the store.

 

As far as giving homeless $, I don't think there is a good way to determine always yes or always no.

[tibbyl]

This happens to me often. Tonight I was out getting groceries, and a man approached me in a very dark parking lot to ask me for money.

 

I've had differing thoughts on this. I assume the money will be used for drugs and alcohol, which I don't really want to support. That said, me not giving a guy a few bucks isn't going to solve his addiction problem. Not only that, but if I had to sleep outdoors, in the winter, in Canada, I'd kinda like it if someone would help me get a little something to take the edge off, if you know what I mean. :sad:

 

So, what are your thoughts? Any strong opinions? Any well researched studies? Any prayerful considerations?

 

Lori

 

My thoughts are to give them a buck or two if you want to and if you can afford it. It's your money and your choice. Personally I wouldn't worry about what other people think of it or what research findings are. We don't have to delve into research to know that there are unfortunate souls who find themselves homeless due to poverty, mental illness, and addictions and possibly undisciplined lifestyle. If you don't want your dollars spent on addictions, offer to buy a sandwich or some food item from grocery or fast food place for them. In a cost v. benefit analysis of charitable dollars, there probably is greater benefit from money donated to missions or shelters. Still I wouldn't let a few bucks here and there to societal misfits worry me fiscally.

 

I've pondered whether I would ask strangers for money if I were to ever find myself homeless. But I would be among the invisible homeless because I would have family that I could live with until I got back on my feet. Honestly, if I were homeless, I would avoid the shelters and missions and try to make it outdoors in public places.

[stephanie]

For myself and my family, we try to give when we can. I understand that they may misuse the money, but that's not my seed. I believe that if I do it unto The Lord then He will bless that. We also have a family business where we make Shield of Strength (dog tags with scripture on them)...we usually pass those out as well. I don't care for people coming up to me in a parking lot because that scares me, and I feel it puts my kids at a greater safety risk. My dh prefers that we give only when he's around just in case. I try to respect that, but sometimes I really feel led by the Spirit to give. I think it's just a personal choice. But my kids are all givers and jump at the chance to help people. We also like to buy food for people who are asking for money..even if it's just McDonald's...we know that person will have had a meal for the day.

[Carol in Cal.]

...and pull out what I want to give without having to open my purse, I do it.

 

But, I'm really really hard to approach in a dark parking lot.

 

I'm a city girl, and so if there is someone on my way to my car in a dark parking lot, I don't go there until they are gone. I'm just paranoid that way (smile).

 

Most of the time when someone asks me for money it is daylight and there are other people around. Sometimes I give them money and sometimes I go buy them food. I just figure if they have to ask they must really need it, and I don't want to let the fear that they might be cheating me stop me from helping someone who might genuinely need it. To me, spiritually, it is far more dangerous to risk hardening my heart than to risk being taken advantage of. I believe that we are most Christ-like when we are compassionate.

 

My grandfather taught me this when I was just a very young child, and I have never forgotten it.

[G5052]

When I was working full-time, I would see some of the same pan-handlers every day as I came out of the subway, and over time I did give some of them money. They were polite and some of them truly did have sad stories (if they were to be believed). I also gave them bottles of water in the summer and food certificates for some of the places nearby. When these were accepted gratefully, I felt better about giving them money here and there.

 

But random people, especially those who won't accept food instead of money -- no.

[Karenciavo]

It depends. In Philly they have homeless car window washers, I try to stay away. I've been approached at a supermarket too more than once and offered to buy food, only one person took me up on that offer. I used to be a church secretary and we never gave money - food, clothes, and supermarket gift cards are what we handed out. I guess the only time I give money is when I "know" the person. There's a man a few towns over and lives in his car, we give him money, my dh gives him odd jobs at his office.

[Peela]

Does this happen a lot in much of the U.S.?

It doesnt happen much here, although there are parts of the city where there are homeless on the streets. Last night in fact dh, ds and I went for a summer evening drive and went into the city to a cafe and a man asked for money. Usually, we do give, but in the moment, we just spontaneously walked on this time. The man didnt feel good. I have given people the money for a bus fare, even if they stink of alcohol. If people need to "deserve" our kindness, therewould be no need for kindness.

I have spent a lot of time in India and there begging is a career for many people- they have their little corner, their stair, their patch of dirt. When you walk past the same people day after day, you get a feeling for them and you get drawn to give to this one and not that- you simply cant take care of them all. Sometimes on the last day in India its lovely to just give your last rupees to them all.

I think it's for everyone to decide and feel fro themselves where to put their money, but I try to remember "there but for the grace of God go I".

[Melissa B]

From the car, we give out food and drinks. My dh is a Pepsi rep so we almost always have drinks. If we happen to have any food in the car we give that as well. I don't carry cash, so that takes care of that. :)

[Michelle in AL]

We travel weekly through a pretty prevelant homeless area. My daughter really feels for them, so we get them a McDonalds meal and hand it to them out of the car window (they're usually at corners). If I've seen them a couple times I'll put a few dollars in too.

[Quad Shot Academy]

I don't give money, but I keep food like PB crackers and granola bars in my car. On one of the corners in my city there is a ton of half eaten food, I think they just want money and toss the food, so I use discernment.

Edited January 6, 2009 by Quad Shot Academy

[Mommyof4ks]

When I was working full-time, I would see some of the same pan-handlers every day as I came out of the subway, and over time I did give some of them money. They were polite and some of them truly did have sad stories (if they were to be believed). I also gave them bottles of water in the summer and food certificates for some of the places nearby. When these were accepted gratefully, I felt better about giving them money here and there.

 

But random people, especially those who won't accept food instead of money -- no.

 

:iagree: We have $5 gift cards in our van to hand out.

[Hillary in KS]

Honestly, I haven't been approached by someone in years. YEARS.

 

When I lived in LA (1991) and someone asked for money for food, I never gave cash. I'd offer to buy them something at whatever restaurant or store was nearby. Those who were truly hungry took me up on it. Those who weren't would yell at me, but... oh well.

 

When I lived in Costa Rica ( 1989) I did the same thing. The only exception would be children. They'd approach me, usually selling little packets of gum. I'd buy one or two, and then buy the child something to eat.

 

But, it's just not been an issue for the past 15 or so years.

[Denisemomof4]

For me personally, I don't like to contribute to an addiction. I usually buy food, hot beverage, etc to help out but usually don't give money..... USUALLY don't give money but I have. The one time I remember clearly I gave money to a very obvious blind person I walked past every day while working in San Francisco. I felt for him AND his dog. I've bought many people food, hot beverages, bags of groceries etc...

[Peek a Boo]

I'm typically not approached while walking where I live, but more often it is people on the side of the road at a stoplight. ....after thought, prayer & discussion we decided to carry granola bars/peanut butter crackers & water in the van. This way at stoplights when there is someone asking for money because they are homeless/hungry we can help without giving currency. It won't solve the country's homeless problem, but it's something I suppose.

 

this is us too. we also keep some cheapo juice boxes in the van.

 

From the car, we give out food and drinks. If we happen to have any food in the car we give that as well. I don't carry cash, so that takes care of that. :)

 

i will give them the change that dh leaves in the ashtray :)

 

Sometimes I give them money and sometimes I go buy them food. I just figure if they have to ask they must really need it, and I don't want to let the fear that they might be cheating me stop me from helping someone who might genuinely need it. To me, spiritually, it is far more dangerous to risk hardening my heart than to risk being taken advantage of. I believe that we are most Christ-like when we are compassionate.

 

yeah. help where you can, when you can, how you can, as much as you can.

[Pretty in Pink]

If people need to "deserve" our kindness, therewould be no need for kindness.

 

I agree wholeheartedly with this statement. We try to keep some non-perishables in our vehicle for those who approach us while we are out. I am loathe to just hand out cash. I like the idea of keeping small gift cards in the car for them to get food with.

[Tap]

I never give cash to anyone who asks, I do donate to agencies that help the homeless and down and out. I may feel differently if i wasn't asked daily or often, multiple times daily. There are people on street corners constantly, and if you see one, there is almost always another on the opposite corner. I usually see about 5 or 6 regulars on the same corners, this is their job, they are not on hard times, they are beggars and are not poor. There are people who walk the parking lots who ask for a 'buck for gas". There are people selling free papers for donation. There are street people who just ask for cash, and there are people who just sit with a can and if they catch you eye, will ask for change. You can also substitute 'got a smoke' for money in almost all these scenarios.

Edited January 6, 2009 by Tap, tap, tap

[joannqn]

I usually don't have cash on me so I tell them I don't have any to give. If I do, I still say I don't have any to spare. I used to feel really conflicted but then I read that most panhandlers are just trying to get enough money to buy their next fix or drink. Others do it for a living, whether or not they are actually homeless. Some make several hundreds a day.

 

Once I was hit up by the same man two days in a row. He said he was trying to get enough money to get to his grandmother's house a few towns over...for some specific event later that day. (A bus ticket would have run a couple of dollars.) The story was the same the next day.

Police: Oregon Panhandlers Raking in the Green

How Much Money do Beggars Make?

How do Panhandlers Spend Your Money? (shows good and bad)

[TammyinTN]

When we lived in the states...CA and TX had lots of homeless. I always gave either food or some cash. In the winter I would buy those gloves/scarves/hat sets at Walmart and give them that to. My heart always broke for them. I couldn't sit down to a meal if a homeless person was outside begging for money...I would buy them a meal to.

[stripe]

My husband offers the one he believes a meal, and he says he is almost always declined. I have been with him overseas when children beg, and after a long conversation, he will usually buy them food. He is concerned about children who are being sent out to beg and do not benefit themselves, as well, in which case if he feeds them, at least the kids are helped. There have been major scandals in the US where people are being held as slaves and forced to beg, and the problem of people (even kids) soliciting donations for some fictitious organization, which is mostly just the organizer's pocket, so there's reason to beware.

[TraceyS/FL]

I do nothing.

 

Stemming from an experience in CA - there was a guy that hung out at the freeway exit. The girl i worked with went to her DH's CHristmas Party - he was there with his wife. THis was a game to him - he was NOT homeless, he made more money sitting at the side of the freeway collecting money than he could any place else. He joked about it....

 

Since then, well, i'm skeptical of most of them you know? I've seen too many get "nasty" when they are given food over cash too.....

 

The only people i roll my window down for is my local firefighters filling the boot for Jerry's kids.

[lynn]

I have not been approached but I have seen other people get approached in WM. I have a plan though, if I am approached I would offer to buy him lunch at one of nearby resteraunts and bring it back to him/her.

[Catherine]

I don't give money. We've kept food in our car and given out meals at the door (we had a regular visitor for awhile) but no cash. I've been approached on the street by a man who'd been given a grocery store gift card and wanted to trade it for cash. My conscience just won't allow a gift of cash. We've also given clothing in the winter.

[elegantlion]

It depends on the situation. Here I don't see many homeless, but more down and out, looking for work type situation. In a dark parking lot the only thing I'm pulling out is my cell phone. Of course there have been lots of purse snatchings, petty crime in our local area.

 

I did stop and give some money to a man who was holding a "will work for food" sign. It was a very large retail area and I felt very convicted to do something. I talked to the man for a few minutes from my car and ended up giving him my dh's phone number in case he was serious about work. My dh is in construction and sometimes needs a day laborer. He did call my dh but the timing never worked out. I felt safe in that area and didn't mind, but safety is first concern.

[ChristyB in TN]

I would not feel safe being approached in the dark like that and he should have known better. I guess I would have given him some money anyway, though. That may have been a very dangerous moment for you.

[learning2gether]

We usually see them at the stop lights standing in the median. We will hand a couple dollars out the window if we feel led to. The kids will often ask to order a couple extra burgers if we are in a drive thru to give them as well. There use to be a young mother and 4 little ones that stood out with a sign. We always gave to them and sometimes would bring back happy meals for the kids. There are times though when I don't give. I don't what what comples me to at times and not at other times.

[Renee in NC]

My husband offers the one he believes a meal, and he says he is almost always declined. I have been with him overseas when children beg, and after a long conversation, he will usually buy them food. He is concerned about children who are being sent out to beg and do not benefit themselves, as well, in which case if he feeds them, at least the kids are helped. There have been major scandals in the US where people are being held as slaves and forced to beg, and the problem of people (even kids) soliciting donations for some fictitious organization, which is mostly just the organizer's pocket, so there's reason to beware.

 

When I was at the mall before Christmas, I had two little girls (4 and 7) come up to beg from me. Their mother had put them up to it. I gave them MORE than they were asking for hoping they would not be forced to beg anymore. It worked, except she sent them back (with an older brother) to see if they could get more. I told him he'd have to share with his sister.

 

As far as do we give beggars money - sometimes. I gave a man in St. Augustine cigarette money once because he was honest that he wanted the money for cigarettes! Honesty goes a long way with me.

 

My dc and I have discussed this a myriad of times as we pass beggars at intersections holding signs. Generally, we don't try and pass judgement on whether or not someone is really in need - they are answerable for their actions and we are answerable for ourselves.

[JFSinIL]

In a parking lot at night - I'd be pressing the "alarm" button on my key chain to make a racket asap. Outside a store or on the street, daytime - in Elgin, maybe (if I have a buck handy). In Chicago - never! Too many scam artists trying to prey on the suburbanites/out-of-towners. I have seen/heard the same sob story of needing cab fare/stolen wallet etc from the SAME WOMAN near State St.....if her story was real she could go tell the police!!!!

[Quad Shot Academy]

THis was a game to him - he was NOT homeless, he made more money sitting at the side of the freeway collecting money than he could any place else. He joked about it.....

 

I saw a news expose about this. It said that the majority of panhandlers in Denver went home to middle class homes and that they made $40,000, tax free a year begging!! I searched for a synopsis of this and came up with this article:

http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_3_panhandling.html

 

***I did not read the whole article, just the part pertaining to $40,000

[Plucky]

I saw a news expose about this. It said that the majority of panhandlers in Denver went home to middle class homes and that they made $40,000, tax free a year begging!! I searched for a synopsis of this and came up with this article:

http://www.city-journal.org/2008/18_3_panhandling.html

 

***I did not read the whole article, just the part pertaining to $40,000

 

I remember seeing an expose on this kind of thing, too. For a while I only gave the homeless food. I can usually spot those that are doing it for a living instead of working and I don't give to them. There are some that are obviously living on the street here.

 

I've personally known two homeless people, one was my great uncle. He was a severe alcoholic that would take to the streets off and on (I suspect there was some mental illness) and a young man that was a severe drug addict. He was clean for quite a while and would spend holidays with our family. I haven't seen or heard from him in a few years. I hope he's doing well but don't know.

[KS_]

I do nothing.

 

Stemming from an experience in CA - there was a guy that hung out at the freeway exit. The girl i worked with went to her DH's CHristmas Party - he was there with his wife. THis was a game to him - he was NOT homeless, he made more money sitting at the side of the freeway collecting money than he could any place else. He joked about it....

 

Since then, well, i'm skeptical of most of them you know?

 

 

 

Similiar view here - I used to try to help out by giving food or something when I was younger, but now I'm much more skeptical (and I don't like feeling that way. . .) But dh had heard or read about one of the local "homeless" guys - he has a nice car, which he parks out of sight, and then changes what corner or area of town he works in frequently. He makes very good money.

 

So I limit my charitable giving to known organizations and not unknown individuals. . .

[Sarah CB]

This happens to me often. Tonight I was out getting groceries, and a man approached me in a very dark parking lot to ask me for money.

 

I've had differing thoughts on this. I assume the money will be used for drugs and alcohol, which I don't really want to support. That said, me not giving a guy a few bucks isn't going to solve his addiction problem. Not only that, but if I had to sleep outdoors, in the winter, in Canada, I'd kinda like it if someone would help me get a little something to take the edge off, if you know what I mean. :sad:

 

So, what are your thoughts? Any strong opinions? Any well researched studies? Any prayerful considerations?

 

Lori

ETA: In Canada (at least where I live), I think we have more addicts on the street, and fewer mentally ill - although there are certainly some. We have a different health care system, so there seems to be quite a bit of help for the mentally ill.

 

Gosh - do you live in the same town that I do? :tongue_smilie:

 

I think there do tend to be a lot of addicts, but we also get the backpackers as well. They actually frustrate me because they're usually in their early twenties and are perfectly capable of working somewhere.

 

I don't give money. I've only ever been approached at the grocery store once and I gave the guy (nice healthy looking lad in his early 20's) a banana. He seemed genuinely thankful for that. Oh, when we go to Vancouver there is usually a homeless person sitting outside the grocery store. A couple of times I've handed him a piece of fruit and once I sent dd back in to buy the guy a sandwich.

 

My dad bought a bunch of $5 Tim Horton's gift cards and was handing them out to homeless people in his city at Christmas.

 

I really don't like the idea of giving money to homeless people, but I think that a cup of coffee or a sandwich probably goes a long way.

[coralloyd]

I buy gift certificates to fast food places. Burger King has Burger bucks each worth a dollar. I buy a bunch these, and keep them in my purse. When I come across someone I offer a few these instead of money. If they refuse I know it isn't food they want.

[Jennifer3141]

If I have cash, I'm delighted to give it away.

 

Jen

[Tammy]

I feel most of them can get some sort of job and earn their own money instead of sitting on a corner and begging for it.

 

.

[FloridaLisa]

We're approached often by folks asking for money because of our church location. We keep Ezekial bars in our car (a complete meal) along with water bottles (can't find a link right now).

 

Our debate/speech group has also made ziploc bags with water, food and other necessaries to keep in our cars, a project from H20 (Hope 2 Others):

 

 

http://www.h2obags.com/about.php

 

HTH,

Lisa

 

 

 

[Mad Jenny Flint]

I say no. And, I make sure I look them in the face, and I continue to walk at my normal pace. If someone approached me in a parking lot, I would tell them to step away from me. In fact, I have done this.

 

I give to established charities.