Could my 16 yo dd have some sort of anxiety disorder, LD, or some other problem???

[Karen in SC]

She has an extremely slow reaction time... I'm not sure how else to describe it. She is a straight-A student, with some perfectionist tendencies, and very eager to please us.

 

In general, she's been just a model child. But now her slow reaction time is really coming to the forefront as she's learning to drive. She's put us in some very dangerous situations, and I'm trying to understand if there is something bigger behind her hesitating. A typical situation would be waiting at a stop sign before pulling out onto a busy highway. She waits until the traffic is clear, and then VERY SLOWLY pulls out. Because she doesn't immediately accelerate, cars are on her bumper very quickly. We've had cars honking their horns, etc.

 

Background: We began homeschooling her back in the 3rd grade because she had this same tendency with doing math facts in her private school. The more pressure she felt to answer "3+4", the slower she became with her answer. At the time, it lead to feelings of incompetence and eventually a depression that effected much more than just her math class. We initially took her to a Christian counselor, but she really didn't identify any problems.

 

Once we pulled her out of school and changed her environment, all was fine. She has kept pace with her peers, even in math, and (as I said) is nearly a straight-A student, though she does spend much more time on her school work than her brother.

 

So, I am just wondering if there is something to be done about this situation. Truly, the more pressure she feels to 'perform', the slower she gets. I'm thinking maybe an anxiety disorder or something? Hoping someone could shed light on this for me, or point me to a way to help her cope. Thank you for any thoughts!

 

Karen in SC

[amy g.]

I just had my 14 year old tested, and one of the things we learned is that she has a very slow processing speed.

 

Like your daughter, she usually has the highest grades in her out sourced classes, but it just takes her so LONG to do the work.

 

I'm scared about her driving too. She has already crashed into one fence.

 

I don't know what can be done to improve the situation. I just wanted to tell you that there is a learning disability that involves processing speed.

[laughing lioness]

No good therapist, psychologist or other mental health professional who is worth thier salt is going to diagnose your dd with a disorder though they might point out tendencies.

Are there other situations where your dd reacts slowly or just while driving? If it's only while driving, then it could be the heavy responsiblity of driving that is causing her to react so slowly- she is aware that it's dangerous and she "wants to get it right"

I could be totally off-base -just a thought.

[Starr]

In regards to driving you might want to keep her on back roads and slow traffice times until she is really comfortable with the mechanics of the car. It's harder for some than others. A friend was just telling me that it took her son longer than her other children to get the automatic mechanical response to driving the car and then he was able to start making the mental judgements necessary. Don't rush. She has plenty of time. :auto:

[newlifemom]

:iagree: with Starr and Lisa. Driving is scary and it sounds like she has a real sense of that. Give her time and lots of unstressed practice. One thing that I remember was learning to get onto the freeway. That was so stressful. Maybe she could practice stuff like that on an early Sunday morning when the conditions will be the least busy and she could get used the those roads and the cars response without the added stress of other cars.

[dirty ethel rackham]

It sounds like a processing issue. Ds12 is similar, but not exactly the same. We have been working on his auditory processing (visual processing is great.) He has difficulty processing multi-step instructions that are given auditorily. The more inputs,, the slower the processing speed and the more uncoordinated he becomes in his motor planning. He also has trouble with decision making under pressure and slows to a crawl as well.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Karen,

 

You described my 16yo (though schoolwork has never been an issue....we think that is because other abilities mask the problem there).

 

Others mentioned processing speed. I knew my daughter was slow that way. I mean, we described it that way even. But I had dd take the test for the brainskills program (btw, test is free through tomorrow and takes only 30min). Her processing speed was by far her lowest area when she topped out several areas. But she was like in the 8th percentile for processing speed!

 

Also, the driving program we're using has a child in a parking lot first practicing EVERYTHING. Then they move to a neighborhood, then light traffic. They don't move up til they are ready and they have like 2-20 hours in each situation. My daughter knew going into it that I wasn't comfy with 2 hours so it would be considerably more than that. And that is for formal instruction. After she gets that down, she's getting lots of informal instruction also. And though we're letting her drive around town now, it is taking in account situations and not putting her in ones she may not be ready for yet (ie, crossing the main road in town, driving on the freeway, etc). I want her to have PLENTY of practice. Only experience can help with the tougher situations when she's ready. We think of it similarly to babies learning to walk. They wait til they have some cruising experience before they go out on their own.

 

My daughter is VERY confident (but not arrogant...she's cautious) behind the wheel. I really think that taking it slowly helped considerably.

 

Anyway, but Kimberly is generally slow. I will say that she's done better since being put on ADHD meds in August. And one of our main considerations for that was driving. I do wish I had done it earlier though now seeing the results.

 

But I agree with the other person above who said that no reputable doc is going to give your daughter a diagnosis based simply on what you've described. If it's part of something else, possibly.

 

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your daughter isn't the only one. I'd slow down (even take a break from) the driving as it seems she isn't ready for what y'all are having her do. And I'd consider the brainskills test just to give you some basic information that might answer a few questions. And I'd speak to a doctor if there are a handful of troubling behaviors/traits.

[Karen in SC]

There probably are other symptoms I could list, but I'm trying not to go on a witchhunt and find things "wrong" with my sweetheart! She does seem to struggle with telephone conversations, in particular. Just is never quite sure how to put into words what she wants to on the spur of the moment, even if she's just talking with a good friend on the phone.

 

We had her brother (who is adopted, so not a blood relative, if that matters) tested and counseled through some extreme separation anxiety and anger management issues last year, and he is so much better off because of it. So, I do think we'll get her tested one way or the other. Dh is out of town at the moment, but I'm anxious to talk with him about that.

 

Amy G., where did you go to have your son evaluated? Are there things you are doing now to help him build his processing skills?

 

The online test Pamela H. mentioned sounds interesting, but I'd like to have more info. What have you done as a result of the tests on your daughter? Are there simple things you have found to help her cope?

 

As far as the driving is concerned, we have taken things very slowly. She is a cautious and good driver in most situations, and has been driving for well over a year now with us. She's taken her driving class (actually quite a while ago) and thinks she's ready to get her license, but this issue makes me more than a little hesitant. I let her drive me around over the holidays, and the couple of times when she has been in high traffic situations have led me to think there's something a little different going on here that maybe needs some extra help.

 

Thanks again for your input.

 

Karen in SC