Help!My K is boring and DD hates it!

[Gwenny]

I don't know what to do. My dd5 is starting to hate doing schoolwork and constantly complains about doing any work at all. How do you get them to do their work happily? What am I missing?

 

This is her first year of any schoolwork and the only sitdown work she does is handwriting (HWT). It should only take about 5 min. but it takes her much longer with the added crying and fit throwing. For instance, today I asked her to fill in the missing letter to practice capitals and then write the numbers 1-9. That's not too much is it? She writes "books" and colors all day, but she acts as if this is too hard.

 

We practice reading on the couch. I read a book to her, and then I have her read 2 books to me. One of her choice and 1 of my choice (slightly harder). We work on whatever phonics sound/concept that she has trouble with on a dry-erase board. This doesn't bring as many complaints, but she still doesn't enjoy it. She reads great for a 5 year old but she doesn't think so.

 

Math is done by reading living math books and games and this at least doesn't get many complaints.

 

On Wed we do a very simple science experiment and on Thur we do an art project. This is the only part of homeschool she likes.

 

I feel sad that she thinks school is so terrible. All the fun things people tell you to do for K (finger paint, nature walks, reading fun books, playing with water and sand, zoo and museum trips, lots of craft projects, etc.) are things we have always done. It's just part of our life, and she doesn't consider it school. She thinks of school as handwriting and reading, both of which she hates. The sad thing is she is great at both.

 

Should I just back off on handwriting all together? I'm afraid she will return to her previous writing habits of poor letter formation if I do. She taught herself to write at age 3 and nearly all letters were started at the bottom or backwards.

 

Thanks for any suggestions and sorry it got so long.

Gwen

[gracesteacher]

Are you having her only write with pencil and paper? Have her do it with sand or salt or even play dough to mix it up especially if she is already do other handwriting during the day. Make the praises big and dont criticizes the stuff she does throughout the day handwriting wise. Ask her how to get thru handwriting practice to make it more fun for her. Maybe she wants do it with a special pencil that only comes out for HWT time or she wants to finger paint her numbers and letters first.

 

Instead of a whiteboard what about 3x5 cards on the floor? Make a game out of whatever it troubling her that day. A white board for her right now may be too overwhelming. Make a board game or bingo game out of what ever is troubling her.

Have her read the books of her choice out of your selections and if she wants to read a second but if you make a big deal in how well she is going and how proud you are then most likely she will want to do a second book. Take away the books that are no longer once you dont want her to read or put them in a special spot. We have a free read spot and a school spot where there are books that we read out loud together and then the other books anyone can read at anytime but I try not to keep books that are too far below level. Then

because she likes art so much have her draw a picture of what she just read to make comprehending the story.

I would bump up science more. Have some of the reading books relate to science and the experiment you are going to do

 

Good luck

Carol

[mommysweird]

Here's my take on handwriting. I have a son who's now in first grade. If his letters look like they're supposed to I'm not concerned with how he formed them. It's like cooking. Some of us follow a recipe to the letter and some of us just add a little until it looks/tastes good. We get the same result, we just use a different method.

 

That said, we use HWT, too. There are certain letters you must have instruction to write.

 

Maybe if you could point out that all the "life" things you do are "school" it would help her not have such a reluctance to do the few things that require discipline. I've pointed out all the fun things we do that are actually learning and now my son will say. "Hey - this walk we're taking can be our science for school!" Or "we can do math at the grocery store."

 

Try having her write letters with chalk on the driveway or sidewalk. Point out signs and everyday things for her to read, so she realizes that reading isn't just about books.

 

Try a book basket. Fill it with books that you choose and then let her go to it once a day a pick out a book of "her" choice to do ANYTHING she wants with it. She can look at the cover and put it back, she can read the whole thing, she can look at pictures, then choose something else. Whatever SHE wants. Set a time limit. "Okay, the next 15 minutes are book basket time." This has really worked well with my son. This way you are controlling the content of the books, but she gets to make the choice. Put 10-15 books from the library in there and include all sorts. Chapter books, picture books, atlases, biographies, anything on topics you want her to learn about or are studying at the time.

 

Hope some of these suggestions help. Be encouraged, mama! She'll understand eventually. Point out that the big yellow bus doesn't bring the kids home until xx o'clock (it's 4pm here) and those kids have been sitting at tables all day long. She only has to do it for 1/2 hour or so.

[momsquared]

I really like the book basket idea. I think this would work well for my DD. Also, I have changed my approach. I take out the things I would like to accomplish that day and put them in a pile on her little table. She will always gravitate there in the morning without being asked. She usually wants to find out what the letter of the day is. Then we do that activity. Sometimes she will then go right into math or play a bit. For example, this morning she did those two things back to back and then wanted to play. She got dressed, her brother woke up,etc. Just a few minutes ago she wandered back to the table and opened her ETC book. I showed her what page she was on. She did two pages, and then decided to go play again. At the end of the day, everything I want accomplished is usually done and she feels as though she decided upon it herself.

[littlebug42]

For my 7 year old daughter, handwriting has always been a struggle. Even HWT has not been tearless around here. At age 5, she would get herself so worked up over the handwriting if she couldn't do it perfectly, that no matter what I said, it all resorted in a breakdown. Her fine motor skills just could not keep up with her brain and it was too frustrating for her. We backed off of it. We would do work on the dry erase board as this was not as daunting to her. She is now 7 and she does know how to form all of her letters and is now able to put them together but she still tenses up if I break out a "handwriting" book. We also did some copywork in the form of her own journal. I would give her a topic and ask for basically one thought that she wanted to say about that topic. Then, I would write it down for her and she could copy it. This seemed to also remove some of the stress for her.

 

Hope something there helps. Good luck.

[Gwenny]

Even HWT has not been tearless around here. At age 5, she would get herself so worked up over the handwriting if she couldn't do it perfectly, that no matter what I said, it all resorted in a breakdown. Her fine motor skills just could not keep up with her brain and it was too frustrating for her.

 

Perfectionism is part of the problem here. She wants her letters to look EXACTLY like the book or like mine. Any deviation, and she literally throws herself on the floor and has an all-out fit. We use dry-erase markers a lot for handwriting but even this sets her off if it smudges or the line doesn't come out dark enough, etc. Chalk is the same way-it either smudges or the line made is not "perfect" enough. I just wish she could see how other 5 year olds write. I have told her a million times that it doesn't need to be perfect, but she won't have any of it.

 

In reading, it is a similar problem. If she doesn't know a word, she instantly starts crying and whining and slides to the floor. I always read books to her the first time and she memorizes them somewhat so a word she doesn't know can be figured out in context and she doesn't get quite so frustrated. Luckily, she seems to get reading easily (at least I think so, I've only taught 1 child to read so there is no one to compare to).

 

She has always been strong-willed (even as an infant she cried ALL day). It really shows when we "do school".

Gwen

[TracyR]

Your daughter sounds like a combination of my 3rd daughter and my one niece.

Usually what I do with reading is if my daughter doesn't know a word I use what K12 uses for sounding out words. You sound out each letter while using your fingers. Just as if you were counting you stick out one finger for each letter then pull your hand in at a fist. This helps my daughter slow down for a moment to figure it out and it makes her do something so she doesn't get frustrated. If she is in one of her moods I just read the word, show her how I sound it out and be done with it. Then later on play word games ( file folder games are great for this) so she can learn the word quicker by herself. You can go to our website to check out some of the ideas I use to make school a little bit fun.

Anyways as for the handwriting I get the same grief. I've gotten the same grief from all 3 of my daughters so far. What I have done though is lapbooking , this makes them write and makes them write neatly because its made for a keepsake that they will have to look back upon someday.

Also using the chalkboard helps , or even copying handwriting sheets from the internet and laminating them ( if you don't have a laminator just use packaging tape) and letting my daughter use that with Crayola crayons that wipe off.

Somedays I don't want to be creative and we just need to do it. That's when I get into "That' s life and we all have to do something that we don't want to do" speech.

Either way your not wrong. I have 4 strong willed girls and you just have to keep pressing on.

[Damselfly]

I have no advice but wanted to let you know I'm in the same situation with my DS6 (just turned 6 two weeks ago). It's hard to hear him complain about school and how much he "hates" it. I feel like it's my fault for not making it fun enough for him, but in reality I know he'd complain no matter WHAT I tried to do. Anything that even remotely resembles "school" makes him throw a fit. I'm fighting an uphill battle..... with a K'er!!! :glare:

 

Hugs to you.

[coffeefreak]

Perfectionism is part of the problem here. She wants her letters to look EXACTLY like the book or like mine. Any deviation, and she literally throws herself on the floor and has an all-out fit. We use dry-erase markers a lot for handwriting but even this sets her off if it smudges or the line doesn't come out dark enough, etc. Chalk is the same way-it either smudges or the line made is not "perfect" enough. I just wish she could see how other 5 year olds write. I have told her a million times that it doesn't need to be perfect, but she won't have any of it.

 

In reading, it is a similar problem. If she doesn't know a word, she instantly starts crying and whining and slides to the floor. I always read books to her the first time and she memorizes them somewhat so a word she doesn't know can be figured out in context and she doesn't get quite so frustrated. Luckily, she seems to get reading easily (at least I think so, I've only taught 1 child to read so there is no one to compare to).

 

She has always been strong-willed (even as an infant she cried ALL day). It really shows when we "do school".

Gwen

 

My oldest was EXACTLY like that! So, first :grouphug:

It's OK, you're doing a great job:D

 

So, with my DD it was math and handwriting. Neither came easy, so she wasn't willing to do it. She struggled with writing reversals and simple addition. I can't give you a magic cure, but I can tell you what I wish I had done differently:

 

1. Take some of the suggestions the other ladies are giving you about handwriting and drop the formal instruction until next year. - We fought for 2 years over handwriting and it was a waste of our time. Once she got into first grade, she HAD to write to keep up. Then she wanted to learn to write. She would say, "How do I make a _____?" and I would get mad. I should have just showed her on the white board and let her copy. I figured out she was struggling because she had reversal problems and found some outside help. Once we cleared that up, we were fine. There would have been no way for me to know that when she was in K, so I should have shelved it until 1st grade. She has horrible handwriting, but I don't care. She has tons of journals, stories she's written and loves to write.

 

With my 2nd DD who is in K this year, we are very gentle on the Handwriting. When she wants to do it, we do! When she doesn't, I encourage her, but I don't push her. Next year, I'll require it because she'll have writing to do in some of her workbooks. I figure it's OK to wait until then to require HW. BTW-we use HWT too.

 

2. I wish I had focused on helping her express her frustration in a right way, instead of butting heads with her over school. She would start to melt down, and I would push harder. She would be in full temper tantrum mode and I would punish her and get angry. :banghead: When I started watching for the signs of melt down, it made school more bearable. I would calmly (very hard for me) say, "I know you're frustrated, do you need to take a 1 min break to get yourself together?" Lately, when she starts to melt (yes, at 9 it still happens - rarely, but it happens:001_smile:), I say, "There is no reason to cry, if you're frustrated let's take a break or try again tomorrow."

 

3. I wish I hadn't gotten so angry.:sad: It got to the point where she would cry because she knew I was disappointed, she was frustrated, and she knew the fight that was coming. Now, I really focus on making my voice light, and calm. She's a perfectionist who wants my approval and if I show the least bit of frustration or disappointment, she gives up. Since she's 9, I've explained to her that I'm not frustrated with her, but with myself (this wasn't true when she was 5, but it is now). I'm her teacher and I get frustrated that I can't help her and I've run out of ideas.

 

I don't know if that will help or not, but know that you're not alone. Perfectionist children come in all types and it will get easier. The mere fact that you recognize this as part of the problem is a huge benefit to you. It took me two years of fighting (preK and K) before I listened to the suggestions of the other Moms:blush:

 

Blessings!

[mom31257]

I have a K ds that handwriting started off a big issue. I really didn't realize how much writing was in Horizons Phonics before I chose it. I also picked a handwriting program, so it was A LOT. I've backed off and as long as he writes some every school day, I don't make him do it all.

 

When he really started giving me problems I also implemented a sticker chart for a good attitude toward school. He received a smiley face sticker for each subject that he did with a good attitude and completed all required. I was very clear that it was not about it being perfect. He loves our Playstation, so if he received all smiley faces for a day, he got to do a game afterwards. I don't even have to do the stickers anymore. What privileges does she enjoy that might motivate her? I believe some things are privileges and should be earned, though.

 

I've tried to study some things he would do in regular Kindergarten. In September we did a lapbook on apples and Johnny Appleseed. We've also done lapbooks for Spanish and an "All About Me" one. Have you ever tried lapbooking? If your dd is crafty, she might like it.

 

Here's some links to get you started if you need them.

http://www.squidoo.com/lapbooking

http://www.homeschoolhelperonline.com/lapbooks.htm

http://www.homeschoolshare.com/

 

I hope this helps!

[Annie Laurie]

It sounds like you're doing fine. Some kids need more time, my 8 yr old son especially was very upset about school when I tried it with him at 5 so I ended up being extremely relaxed until he was 7 and now he really likes school and I don't see him being "behind" at all. it's different for every parent, what they feel comfortable with, but I just wanted to reassure you that a lot of it is personality- when you read the glowing reports of happy schooling five year olds, keep that in mind and don't worry! :D I have a 4 year old who loves school and thinks it's all great, but he's a different personality type than his brother is, who wanted nothing to do with it until recently.

 

On the handwriting, one of my earliest memories is of being in kindergarten and trying so hard to make my letters look as nice as the teacher's example, and then feeling SO angry and frusturated that mine didn't look anywhere near as nice. Handwriting felt very stressful to me at that age! I can laugh now but I do remember it feeling like a big deal at the time.

[ElizabethB]

Here are a few ideas to throw some fun into the reading process:

 

free game:

http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20P...rationgam.html

 

Games with magnetic letters: You can move letters around on a metal cookie sheet to make words. Give her 6-8 consonants she has learned so far and a vowel and have her see how many words she can make! Once she gets good at this, see how many words she can make in 1 minute. You can also give a vowel and an "e" to make silent e words or an "o" and an "a" and and "e" if you're working on long o words and see how many long o words she can come up with.

 

http://www.starfall.com

 

Read, Write, Type computer program.

Fun, a little expensive, free demo so you can see if you think it's worth the money or not:

 

http://www.talkingfingers.com/

 

My daughter still thinks read, write, and type is fun after a year and requests permission to "play" it just like she would ask permission to play a normal video game or watch a movie.

 

We still have our own handwriting agony, it got a little better when I found a pencil grip that worked for her, but I've since lost the pencil grip (she had upgraded to writing without the grip, but after a few months went back to bad habits) and handwriting is now even more painful than usual. I need to track down a new pencil grip that works. It's pretty easy to teach the other subjects (although math requires A LOT of repetition for my daughter), but handwriting is tough for us, she fights me tooth and nail and is sure that her way is the best way to write. I can see why many parents don't think they could teach their own children if all they've tried to do is teach them to write!

 

My daughter is a perfectionist, too. I had to keep reassuring her she read better than most kids her age, she would get very upset when she missed a word. She actually thought she was better at math than reading since I ended up praising her more in math because it is more difficult for her! (This is very ironic, so far she's much better at reading/spelling than math.) Webster's Speller was helpful--when we finished, she could sound out any word, even 3 and 4 syllable words, so that eliminated the frustration with reading. You can make it fun by doing it on the white board. We did it in K last year. I just finished a movie explaining how to use it, it's linked from the Webster page below.

Edited December 30, 2008 by ElizabethB

[Sara in WA]

You're dd is 5? I think you would be good to follow your own suggestion to back off for awhile and enjoy this time with your dd.

 

In those early years I like to do "deceptive learning" :) When my neighbors hear me use that term, they get a little nervous. Really, I just have goals in mind for my children's learning and we get there in lots of different ways. No need to call it school at age 5, just have fun together finger painting (you can draw shapes and letters the right way), reading lots of different books, playing Chutes and Ladders, cutting out magazine pictures, etc. If you go to church, kids learn so much by finding the hymn (learning 55 comes before 56), looking up scripture, etc.

 

When my kids and I get so frustrated with each other, I know it's time to take a break from our routine and do something different like visit a museum, trek out to the zoo or cook together (of course kids are still learning!). Taking time to be nice to each other and enjoy one another will benefit you both nicely. Then in a few days, weeks or months, you can return to your "school work" and I bet things will be different.

 

Just my two bits,

Sara

homeschooling mom to dd 8, 6, 5 and ds almost 3

[Osaubi]

My DS6 was like this when he was 5. Everytime I get the HWT book out I say remember this is just practice. A year later I still say this, and it finally seems to be sinking in. I also had a hard time with handwriting, and will remind him that it takes a lot of practice to get the letters the way you want them.

 

I the only time I correct him is when he is doing the strokes in the wrong order. If it doesnt look good to him or me, I say that is ok we will practice on this some more, and we will go over it again in a couple of days.

 

I also only have him do 2 pages a day in HWT or 2 lines on the block paper. Once a week I will have him draw letters in the air, use the playdough, or rice to review the letters.

 

He is still stubborn when it comes to reading. I do let him pick out his own books out of a selection I have approved. I noticed that the books he wants to read are above what I would pick out.

 

 

HTH