Neurodiversity: my family makes so much more sense!

[MEmama]

I've long suspected my father is autistic, I've always seen my brother has anxiety, and my sister was diagnosed with ADHD when she was young but my parents dismissed it. But holy moly, since DS's diagnoses (autism, ADHD, anxiety, OCD) my family makes so much more sense! I just had an uncommonly fantastic visit with them, in part because I understand them (and myself) like never before. Watching interactions was just hilarious--DS and my brother are like the same person x2--though explaining DS to my dad was baffling yet funny because they share so many personality quirks my dad can't see but are obvious to everyone else.
 

I sure wish mental health and neurodiversity had been more understood when I was growing up, and that we had all been properly diagnosed. I'd have had a much healthier and less traumatizing upbringing for sure, if we could have all just understood each other better.

 

[Carol in Cal.]

When DD took psychology in high school, she came home and asked me whether we have a family history of anxiety or depression.

The anxiety question really startled me.  I have this thing, I call it dread, that you might consider to be anxiety.  I never thought of it that way because I have not let it debilitate or limit me except that I don’t cross rivers on logs.  My mom has ‘stress’ which she sort of self generates, with nothing really to be stressed about.  I mean, she will generate stress if she doesn’t have stressors.  I guessed that that was anxiety, too, and actually more debilitating.  Then her mother was so known for concern that at her funeral her pastor called her a worry wart.  I did not appreciate that, but I guess that’s like anxiety also.  And the only known footage we have of HER mother is her calling the grandchildren back inside for more outerwear, which she was known for, in case it was too cold.  

So, yes, I guess we do have a family history of anxiety, just, unnamed.

I was, literally, miraculously freed from my feelings of dread, late in life, something I attribute to God.  (And I’m not one to say that kind of thing often or lightly).  But we definitely lean that way.

[WildflowerMom]

Yes!  Totally agree with you.  After my kid’s dx of bipolar, I was able to ‘dx’ my dad, as well.  A lot of things really made sense.   And my sil works with kids with autism and she has “dx’ed” my fil with it.  It has all clicked into place and it’s much easier to understand him now.  
obviously these aren’t diagnoses from a doctor, but as we’ve learned more about those things, we’ve been able to really make sense of stuff, not just now, but from childhood, as well.   My dad is unmedicated, I don’t think anyone has laid it out for him clearly that he *needs* meds and it may be too late now, but it has helped us. 

[maize]

Realizing my mom is autistic made so many parts of my childhood make sense!

My mom can see it herself now as well, after having multiple grandchildren diagnosed.

I'm also recognizing more autistic traits in myself. 

[MEmama]

33 minutes ago, maize said:

Realizing my mom is autistic made so many parts of my childhood make sense!

My mom can see it herself now as well, after having multiple grandchildren diagnosed.

I'm also recognizing more autistic traits in myself. 

Same. It's fascinating, isn't it! 

[Carrie12345]

We (my sisters and I) haven’t lay-dx’ed our parents yet, but the 3 of us and 7 of our 8 kids officially and unofficially have a whole bunch of neurodivergent labels. (I’m undecided on my #5. He seems so strangely normal.)

Dh’s side has a whole bunch of additional stuff.

I definitely think it’s all made me a much more understanding person, more willing to meet people where they are.