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He got an offer!!! We lost at Tech Survivor

Dmmetler

By Dmmetler,
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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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After over 25 years, it happened. My DH's position (along with about 1000 other) US based software development, support, and customer experience positions were eliminated. DH was asked to not tell anyone until today to give time for his India-based team to learn that they'd lost not one but two levels of leadership, since both DH and his division manager were cut. 

 

We're fine financially in the short term, between severance and savings, before needing to dip into retirement. We're lucky in that we don't have consumer debt. But it's a blow, and we need to figure out what to do next. 

 

We're leaving for a vacation Sunday. It's already paid for, so we're going, going to try not to worry, and going to try to have fun. 

 

And, then try to pick up the pieces. 

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Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

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Very sorry to hear this.

There is a lot of ‘quiet’ tech laying off going around right now here in Silicon Valley.  More than most people realize because it’s not hitting the news.  I hope he does not fall into the trap of feeling worthless.  It’s not his fault.

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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12 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Very sorry to hear this.

There is a lot of ‘quiet’ tech laying off going around right now here in Silicon Valley.  More than most people realize because it’s not hitting the news.  I hope he does not fall into the trap of feeling worthless.  It’s not his fault.

A lot of companies are doing what DH's did, and doing waves of layoffs, each just under the amount needed to trigger the WARN act. 

We've expected this for awhile. It truly has been a game of survivor. And it hasn't been a fun job or a particularly comfortable place to work in awhile. But we'd hoped that he could change jobs on his terms, and that we could get to a good stopping point where if I needed to go back to a full time job, it would have been a natural transition. 

 

The logical thing to do would be for me to go back to teaching full time...but I DON'T WANNA!!! Not in the schools here. Not leaving all my plans for next year and my program here hanging. Not when L and I have one more year of teaching together before they graduate from college. But it would be a stable income with benefits. 

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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The numbness has worn off. DH is really hurting, and I don't know how to help him.

 

How many life changing, high stress, extremely traumatic events can one person, can one marriage withstand? Because it feels like we have had WAY more than our share....

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wintermom

wintermom

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7 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

The numbness has worn off. DH is really hurting, and I don't know how to help him.

 

How many life changing, high stress, extremely traumatic events can one person, can one marriage withstand? Because it feels like we have had WAY more than our share....

You will survive this. It will be a grieving process for you both. Big hugs.

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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

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1 hour ago, Dmmetler said:

The numbness has worn off. DH is really hurting, and I don't know how to help him.

 

How many life changing, high stress, extremely traumatic events can one person, can one marriage withstand? Because it feels like we have had WAY more than our share....

We found it really helpful to take the first week to just breathe. Read any severance package material carefully, put relevant dates on the calendar. My brain acted like it was grieving—details became foggy and I initially misread some stuff incorrectly. We walked a lot, and talked and processed. Have your dh contact others who were laid off so they can all write LinkedIn reviews for each other. See if you can arrange a farewell party at a nearby restaurant—work the contacts of those laid off and those remaining with the employer, and get some closure. If he gets to work with a placement group, make that initial contact, and figure out unemployment. Ours took a few weeks to process. The amount we receive is a pittance compared to what salary had been, but he’s been paying into unemployment, so collect the benefit. But mostly, that first week, just process and grieve the loss of stability. 
 

Beyond that, our next concern was health related stuff….getting expensive preventative stuff done, filling all meds we could, doing the little things that needed to get taken care of. I priced out our med list to work out our monthly amount, and began scouting health insurance because getting our COBRA costs took weeks, and it is way beyond marketplace costs. Know that the rules recently changed—if former employer is covering cobra for x months, when they cease paying it is a qualifying event. 
 

Dh agewashed his resume on advice from others….but it’s super hard when you’re established mid to upper level to find a new position; there are simply fewer of those out there so I also advise looking at your 9-12 month plan financially. ☹️

We’ve had way more than our fair share of hard knocks also. Wish I could give you a hug and take you out to lunch. You know how to get through hard things. This too will pass.

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prairiewindmomma

prairiewindmomma

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Forgot to mention re: dh. Tell him it is nothing personal. It really isnt. Dh has been working his contacts—the latest one? “I can tell you what the structure of the org was like yesterday, but I actually got my own walking papers today.”
 

There have been close to 300,000 tech jobs lost in the last 24 months. I dont know why they arent talking about this in the news. I have never seen it this bad, even in ‘01 or ‘08. This is more than a tightening of capital. It’s a market move to push down salaries for workers through artificial constriction and to push up numbers for stock holders. The bean counters are breaking things.

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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DH called a former co-worker (at one time, DH's boss) who is a long-time friend (to the point that he and his wife are two of L's godparents, and his wife literally drove me to the hospital for BPP's/ultrasounds once a week for the second half of my pregnancy with L) who has been running his own consulting firm for some time. After talking to DH, he apparently called one of his clients, who had ASKED him if he knew anyone qualified to manage their IT full time. 

So, after getting off the phone with DH, he called them, recommended DH, and, within 10 minutes, the guy was contacting DH to ask for his resume, salary requirements, etc. 

 

It honestly sounds like something DH would love. The company manages hospital gift shops and coordinates with local flower shops, including sales, inventory control and management, warehouse and logistics to get stuff there, labeling and logistics within the hospital, online ordering, payroll, volunteer management, etc.  A little bit of everything, lots of troubleshooting, lots of working directly with the hospitals to figure out what they need. They use commercial products, highly customized, with the "Spine" being an older version of DH's "baby", with various integrations. As DH's former boss put it-there is basically no one on this planet MORE qualified than DH for this job.

 

His former boss has been consulting with them remotely, so he thinks they'd be amenable to DH being based here, as long as he'd be willing to travel to the sites if needed. 

 

Pray, and pray hard!!! 

 

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KidsHappen

KidsHappen

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I am so sorry to hear this. This has happened to my hubby twice now and we are two years out from the last time. He ended up retiring early (and we are so thankful that we were old enough to be able to do that). He really grieved that for about a year to maybe 18 months. Money is a little tight right now but will improve some in the future so he seems to be making peace with it finally. 

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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Well, the good news is that he has an phone call with them tomorrow morning. The bad news is that we seem to be stuck in Houston. The flight we were on left late for mechanical issues. So hopefully we'll still get to Vegas tonight. 

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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Eeeee!!! They're paying for DH and I (and Neo!) to fly out to Dallas next week so DH can meet with them in person. If DH goes to work for them, the plan would be that the first year would be remote, with some travel, and that we'd revisit relocation after that year (using that I'm already committed to teach for '24-'25 as the reason). 

 

DH also has a teams interview with another company on Weds, and a couple more have asked for his resume. 

 

All of these connections come from former co-workers at the small, original boutique software company we moved to Memphis for almost exactly 27 years ago, who had moved on (mostly due to prior layoffs as the company was acquired three times). 

 

It's still high anxiety, and it makes it hard to enjoy a vacation, but things seem a lot more hopeful now.

 

 

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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Another cool thing...since my TX teaching license was based on a graduate degree and was issued before 1998, it doesn't expire. I don't think I'd want to teach in TX public schools any more than in TN ones, but that would make doing so much, much easier. 

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Kanin

Kanin

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1 hour ago, Dmmetler said:

Eeeee!!! They're paying for DH and I (and Neo!) to fly out to Dallas next week so DH can meet with them in person. If DH goes to work for them, the plan would be that the first year would be remote, with some travel, and that we'd revisit relocation after that year (using that I'm already committed to teach for '24-'25 as the reason). 

Whoa! That's awesome!!! Nobody has every offered to fly me anywhere for a job interview... and I'm guessing they never will 😂

What are your thoughts about moving?

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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2 hours ago, Kanin said:

Whoa! That's awesome!!! Nobody has every offered to fly me anywhere for a job interview... and I'm guessing they never will 😂

What are your thoughts about moving?

Lukewarm, especially to Texas, since it's farther from my Dad. But it's not really any harder to fly to VA from Dallas than from Memphis, and I've been kind of disjointed since L graduated and my homeschool days ended. 

 

And if I get one more school year,I can at least have a good transition for my program.

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Kanin

Kanin

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24 minutes ago, Dmmetler said:

Lukewarm, especially to Texas, since it's farther from my Dad. But it's not really any harder to fly to VA from Dallas than from Memphis, and I've been kind of disjointed since L graduated and my homeschool days ended. 

 

Yeah... I understand. But you're right about flying, it's a flight either way. 

You might want to think about teaching in the public schools. Lots of schools in my area are looking for half to three-quarters time music teachers. Maybe it's the same in Texas. You'd be in the schools, but not all the time. It would probably relieve some of the stress of being a full-time teacher. Our music teacher is wonderful, and she loves getting Fridays off 🙂 

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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I just now clicked on this thread.  I literally thought you had been in a game show of some sort.  🤦🏻‍♀️  I am glad your Dh has a good lead…..job loss is one of the worst things especially at older ages.  

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Halftime Hope

Halftime Hope

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On 6/29/2024 at 3:11 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

Forgot to mention re: dh. Tell him it is nothing personal. It really isnt. Dh has been working his contacts—the latest one? “I can tell you what the structure of the org was like yesterday, but I actually got my own walking papers today.”
 

There have been close to 300,000 tech jobs lost in the last 24 months. I dont know why they arent talking about this in the news. I have never seen it this bad, even in ‘01 or ‘08. This is more than a tightening of capital. It’s a market move to push down salaries for workers through artificial constriction and to push up numbers for stock holders. The bean counters are breaking things.

My son and SIL are absolutely equal parts livid and angry over what is going on in tech world. They are both young men, very well-regarded and performing in their careers, but honesetly, this is crazy-making stuff. The one who can, is trying to figure out how he wants to generate income that is not tied to a salary. The other one is feeling more helpless, as he and his wife have both been through several rounds of layoffs, with no rhyme or reason. The youngest one could do a smashing business with a trade instead of trade-related tech sales, but it's not really his thing. It's a really tough world out there.

I'm so glad to hear of the possibilities OPs husband has! Networking for the win!

 

Edited by Halftime Hope
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fraidycat

fraidycat

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I too, thought this was about a game show or local competition of some sort - like those fighting robots.

I'm sorry to hear about your DH's job, and hopeful that something wonderful comes from the interviews. Sending vibes that he gets a new job ASAP.

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