Expensive convention, would you go?

[Janeway]

I love Christmas. I love everything Christmas. I love vintage Christmas a lot too. So I have been following this group called Golden Glow of Christmas Past. And they have a convention every year. My husband says we can go if I want, but he isn’t in to it. Turns out, it is $400 a ticket!! The hotel, which is in an amazing famous hotel I have never been in, is $160 a night. We don’t have to do the hotel as we live only about an hour away. 
I am not planning to go because it is so expensive. My husband said he would way rather spend that money on decorations or something. My oldest son offered to pay for the tickets. 
I am sure I made the right decision to not go, but thought I would ask here in case anyone thinks otherwise. Thanks!

[MercyA]

Looks like the convention is several days long and the price includes several meals. Would you plan on going every day?

[Ethel Mertz]

I love Christmas! 🤶 However, I wouldn’t go. Too much money. Ticket + gas + food = nope. 

[marbel]

I wouldn't pay that much for a convention for a personal interest/hobby. More to the point, maybe, I would be unhappy if my husband did.  I would not accept $$ from my kid to pay for it, either. 

 

 

Edited June 22 by marbel

[Rosie_0801]

That's not my idea of fun, but people spend more than that on far stupider things. I assume such a price wouldn't be inducing hardship, or you wouldn't be asking.

I think I would want to hear reviews from people who've been previously. What exactly is the $400 covering? I sure wouldn't spend $400 on the mere right to enter a building, to then spend more money on the actual cute things.

If this is your thing, why not go? The worst that is likely to happen is you say "Well that was underwhelming, I don't need to do it again." 

I dunno. Pretend it is a cruise but without the boat. 😛 That makes $400 sound better.

You are not a habitually frivolous person. An occasional extravagance won't turn you into one either.

I'm happy to enable you in either direction. We all need to get some kicks in this life.
If this is your way, good on ya. If it's not, also good on ya.

(I also think it is good policy to let our kids be nice to us. I wouldn't like them to lose the habit.)

[PeterPan]

Might be cheaper to fly to Berlin and go to an actual Christmas market. Norse Atlantic Airways has tickets, NYC to Berlin for $123 on Nov. 28. 

[PeterPan]

4 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Pretend it is a cruise but without the boat. 😛 That makes $400 sound better.

A cruise without a boat is a hamburger and a lawn chair. 😂

Seriously, the favorite thing on a Carnival cruise is their burgers, so you'd have a nice thick, juicy double burger with all the fixins and a chair to lay out on.

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[Rosie_0801]

3 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Might be cheaper to fly to Berlin and go to an actual Christmas market. Norse Atlantic Airways has tickets, NYC to Berlin for $123 on Nov. 28. 

Okay. That's a cooler idea.

[PeterPan]

If you actually want to go to Germany, you'd have time to get a passport if you start now. The train system is efficient, making it easy to pick the city with the market you want to go to. And for hotels, google budget hotel and your city. Europe has lines like Premier Hub where you can be in an expensive city for $100 or less a night. There are several of these hotel lines for Germany. Motel One is another. 

[PeterPan]

1 minute ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Okay. That's a cooler idea.

Dream big! 😂

[Rosie_0801]

I didn't realise Christmas markets were such a slippery slope. 

From "I should stay home" to Berlin in 45 minutes.

[PeterPan]

It's possible to overcomplicate the idea and make it so expensive you can't do it. I just find, as a sort of middle aged woman, that I needed to be done WAITING AROUND for someone to make me happy. If you have the resources and a bit of a dream, DO it, kwim? 

Looking at that convention, it seems to be very niched and more of a show than a buying opportunity. Would it mean that much to you to *see* rather than buying those things? Probably the high price reflects the low audience. If you'd pay that much to go to a *museum* of those things, I'd do it. If you want to network and talk to those people, I'd do it. If you want to shop, maybe it's better to do a trip that lets you shop or find smaller markets like my stepfather who collects Christmas does.

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[Meriwether]

I wouldn't spend that much money on myself, but I'd drop it on the kids for something that most people would feel has even less value.

[PeterPan]

I find it very hard to separate myself from my enthusiasm and see a thing exactly as it is. I would have NO issue with the price for the convention IF it is exactly what you want to do. But I'd read the description and make sure you're seeing it as it is. 

Sometimes retirees do things that are extravagant because that's the stage of life they're at. Their houses are paid off, their kids put through college, and they go well let's spend $1k and go hang with our friends and show our stuff off. Makes sense in their context and isn't extravagant when it's their occasional splurge at that stage. 

If you DON'T go, what are other ways you can get your see Christmas stuff fix? Could you go to a different antique show each month? Go to Chicago for their Christmas market? https://www.christkindlmarket.com/  That's not as far as Berlin, and I can tell you my stepfather, even with declining health, makes the effort to go there which means it must be pretty good. Maybe you can snag good airline tix to Chicago and go for a cheap weekend. Maybe you hit up some boardies to put you up for the night. 😄 

[Spryte]

Oooh, I’m on board with a trip to Germany! Munich has a beautiful Christmas market, and you could train to Bavarian villages for more. 

There’s a lot of vintage Christmas there, too. We have a hand carved nativity from the late 1950s, and have been to the same shop, in the little village where my parents/grandparents bought it. Same family, still carving nativities, similar style.

A trip to the convention, though — maybe?  It’s not my thing, so I probably would not do that one. I’d be more likely to spend on decorations.

For comparison, there are similar costs to attend conventions that are for people with life threatening food allergies, specifically teens living with them, and I’ve always thought it would be useful for our kids to go and meet others like them, trade ideas and tips to navigate life. But we have never gone. It just feels like a big expense, though if they had one in driving distance that might change my mind. 

Lots of people spend that much going to cons, though, and if it’s your thing and would make you happy — go!

[QueenCat]

I'd go with a group of girlfriends. Dh would definitely not be into it. 

[Janeway]

1 hour ago, MercyA said:

Looks like the convention is several days long and the price includes several meals. Would you plan on going every day?

I would go everyday. But I still think it is just too much for our family. It actually only covers 2-3 meals. All the other meals are an extra cost.

[City Mouse]

I’d want to know more about the $400. What do you get for that amount? Where does the money go? The big Nutcracker Christmas Market in Houston has an entrance fee to be allowed n to shop, but all the money from the entrance fees goes directly to the Houston Ballet. I have paid for it in the past. 

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, Spryte said:

We have a hand carved nativity from the late 1950s, and have been to the same shop, in the little village where my parents/grandparents bought it. Same family, still carving nativities, similar style.

Where? We might kinda sorta be headed over that way at some point. 😄  It's a year round shop or was it in the christmas markets? 

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[Spryte]

3 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

Where? We might kinda sorta be headed over that way at some point. 😄  It's a year round shop or was it in the christmas markets? 

Year round! It’s in Bad Tolz. I can dig up the name of the shop, if you are going. It’ll take some doing. Of course, if you go, it’s right on the main street and you won’t miss it. Last time we went we had local friends who took us to a great (casual) restaurant — I’ll try to dig up the name of that place, too.

[SKL]

I wouldn't go unless it included a lot of perks I would otherwise pay for.  But then, I don't love conventions in general.

[Clarita]

From the son/daughter perspective, these kinds of gifts are the best to give. An extravagant thing that you parents wouldn't get for themselves. Seeing your parents all giddy over something you bought them is priceless. 

[regentrude]

4 minutes ago, Clarita said:

From the son/daughter perspective, these kinds of gifts are the best to give. An extravagant thing that you parents wouldn't get for themselves. Seeing your parents all giddy over something you bought them is priceless. 

This. I'd be thrilled to have such an idea for a gift for my mom. Especially since older people have all the stuff. Giving an experience they would hesitate to splurge on is fabulous. 

[Frances]

I will likely spend that much for a conference for my main hobby at some point in the future, but it will be a great learning (lots of classes and demonstration) and bonding experience with friends and fellow enthusiasts. That said, I wouldn’t ask my husband to attend a multi-day event for a passion he doesn’t share and pay $400 to do it. We certainly support each other’s hobbies and go to shows, openings, studios, etc. together and even collaborate, but for me, it would make more sense to share a multi-day conference/convention experience with fellow enthusiasts. Do you have any friends who share your interest? I’d go with them and leave your husband at home with the children. If you want to do something Christmas related with him or the whole family, I’d choose something different like a trip to a Christmas themed place. We are doing a trip together this year that includes some aspects of both of our hobbies, but also lots of other things and is to a country I’ve never visited.

Edited June 22 by Frances

[marbel]

So I had said I wouldn't accept the ticket as a gift from my kid. I see others saying the opposite, so I'm rethinking. Not arguing! 

I don't really know but I think this kid is a young adult, maybe fairly recently out of school and just getting started in a career?  If that's incorrect and the son is older and settled in a career, supporting himself and able to save money, to the point that $400 per ticket (don't know how many tickets) isn't a lot of money... then I'd change my mind.

 

Edited June 22 by marbel

[math teacher]

I would go if I really wanted to!! Combination gift for several occasions? I would much rather have experiences than stuff.

[Frances]

1 hour ago, Janeway said:

I would go everyday. But I still think it is just too much for our family. It actually only covers 2-3 meals. All the other meals are an extra cost.

Are you thinking about taking the whole family? I definitely wouldn’t pay for that, unless all of your children really share your passion.

[regentrude]

FWIW, I have paid for classes and events related to my creative pursuits. But I wouldn't have felt comfortable speeding this much on myself if I didn't earn a decent salary.

I went by myself though, as it's my thing, not DH's.

Edited June 22 by regentrude

[Boymama5]

So I have a fairly expensive hobby that I’ve gone to weekend retreats. They are about as much at that convention with food included but aside from space for the hobby not much else. For me it’s worth it because it’s me time that I’m investing in for myself. I do it for a break, doing something I enjoy and uninterrupted time to take care of myself. Those reasons are worth it to me.  
If that’s what you’re looking for I don’t find it unreasonable if it’s in budget. If it’s a stretch, I’d postpone it and do something like a Christmas market mentioned above. 
 

ETA- I do mine on my own and if you go I suggest that for you as well. There was one that was out of state and my original plan to fly changed so DH and the kids drove me. They dropped me off and went on a mini trip that they wanted to do that was somewhat close. 
 

I also pack food from home when meals aren’t included to keep costs down. I even have a coffee maker I bring to make sure I don’t need to spend extra on that. If it’s an hour away I’d consider driving to keep costs down depending on the schedule. 

Edited June 22 by Boymama5

[fairfarmhand]

Why not go with an interested girlfriend so you can split the hotel room cost?

[PeterPan]

56 minutes ago, Spryte said:

Year round! It’s in Bad Tolz. I can dig up the name of the shop, if you are going. It’ll take some doing. Of course, if you go, it’s right on the main street and you won’t miss it. Last time we went we had local friends who took us to a great (casual) restaurant — I’ll try to dig up the name of that place, too.

Were you there anyway or was it so epic you took a day trip from Munich to go there? I'm trying to figure out if it's worth going out of the way for. A little adventure is good. 😄 

Last year we spent the night in a village in Germany and the girl at the counter is like HOW DID YOU FIND THIS PLACE?? 😂 It was mostly locals. 

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[Spryte]

My DH works in Munich often, so he took a trip one weekend to find the shop and see if it was still there, pick up a gift for me. Then he took me on a day trip once when I was in Munich. We have a German friend whose mom lives locally, and did some stuff with them — but would have gone anyway. It’s a beautiful area. There are probably plenty of little villages with amazing Christmas markets, I just happen to know this one because we unpack our nativity every year, you know?

I bet OP could do a Christmas market tour of many!

[Ginevra]

3 hours ago, Rosie_0801 said:

That's not my idea of fun, but people spend more than that on far stupider things. I assume such a price wouldn't be inducing hardship, or you wouldn't be asking.

I think I would want to hear reviews from people who've been previously. What exactly is the $400 covering? I sure wouldn't spend $400 on the mere right to enter a building, to then spend more money on the actual cute things.

If this is your thing, why not go? The worst that is likely to happen is you say "Well that was underwhelming, I don't need to do it again." 

I dunno. Pretend it is a cruise but without the boat. 😛 That makes $400 sound better.

You are not a habitually frivolous person. An occasional extravagance won't turn you into one either.

I'm happy to enable you in either direction. We all need to get some kicks in this life.
If this is your way, good on ya. If it's not, also good on ya.

(I also think it is good policy to let our kids be nice to us. I wouldn't like them to lose the habit.)

This is my opinion, too. 
I would be perfectly happy to go alone, though; I would not expect dh to do it with me. 
 

A few years ago, I went to a Christmas craft show thing. It was a big deal and was very nice, but it was a 3-hour-one-direction drive. I did not know for sure if it would be worth the drive and the whole day gone. I went anyway. It was very good fun! But - I don’t need to go any more times. I was very happy I did it but it scratched the itch and I didn’t go again. 

[Spryte]

3 minutes ago, Ginevra said:

This is my opinion, too. 
I would be perfectly happy to go alone, though; I would not expect dh to do it with me. 
 

A few years ago, I went to a Christmas craft show thing. It was a big deal and was very nice, but it was a 3-hour-one-direction drive. I did not know for sure if it would be worth the drive and the whole day gone. I went anyway. It was very good fun! But - I don’t need to go any more times. I was very happy I did it but it scratched the itch and I didn’t go again. 

Oooh, I have to ask — what show did you go to?

[Kanin]

I'd definitely go! Life's too short to miss out on things you really love. I'd go without DH, though; having someone along who doesn't love it like I would would just bum me out, and I'd feel like I was responsible for his happiness during the vacation.

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

But I wouldn't have felt comfortable speeding this much on myself if I didn't earn a decent salary.

That's right. Women who stay at home and do not work a job do NOT DESERVE nice things.

[PeterPan]

When I got married, the cultural vibe was very much women should stay home and raise their kids, the men will work and take care of them. So I got married under that social contract, that expectation, that AGREEMENT. 

I find however that things are changing and there's this sense of worthlessness, implying you don't work so you don't deserve nice things. So unless the HUSBAND wants to travel and the HUSBAND wants it, you can't do it because you didn't earn it.

So fine, whatever. It's just kind of interesting to enforce that on ourselves. We do unpaid work for years and years, SACRIFICE OUR BODIES TO BRING HUMAN JOYS INTO THE WORLD, but we mustn't do nice things for ourselves. Whatever.

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[regentrude]

22 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

That's right. Women who stay at home and do not work a job do NOT DESERVE nice things.

That's not what I said. I said *I* wouldn't have felt comfortable spending that much on myself. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who feels like that. We had much less money as a family, and I wouldn't have prioritized my hobbies financially.

 

Edited June 22 by regentrude

[Ottakee]

Just now, regentrude said:

That's not what I said. I said *I* wouldn't have felt comfortable spending that much on myself. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who feels like that. We had much less money as a family, and I wouldn't have prioritized my hobbies.

That is how I read your post as well…..it didn’t fit with the family budget/values, not that a husband count spend a lot but not the stay at home wife because she didn’t earn the money.

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

That's not what I said. I said *I* wouldn't have felt comfortable spending that much on myself. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who feels like that. We had much less money as a family, and I wouldn't have prioritized my hobbies financially.

 

Women do the same thing and sub medical care for hobbies. 

[marbel]

1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

When I got married, the cultural vibe was very much women should stay home and raise their kids, the men will work and take care of them. So I got married under that social contract, that expectation, that AGREEMENT. 

I find however that things are changing and there's this sense of worthlessness, implying you don't work so you don't deserve nice things. So unless the HUSBAND wants to travel and the HUSBAND wants it, you can't do it because you didn't earn it.

So fine, whatever. It's just kind of interesting to enforce that on ourselves. We do unpaid work for years and years, SACRIFICE OUR BODIES TO BRING HUMAN JOYS INTO THE WORLD, but we mustn't do nice things for ourselves. Whatever.

Who here is enforcing that on themselves?

Frankly, $400 for me OR MY HUSBAND to go to a hobby thing would be outrageous. There have been times in the past it would have been perfectly reasonable for me to spend that money, and perhaps there will be a time in the future when it is reasonable again. Over the course of my marriage, I worked for money some years and didn't work for money some years. The availability of spending money for such a thing had NOTHING to do with whether I worked or not. It had to do with FAMILY FINANCES. And no matter what, the money was OURS and not the EARNER'S. 

(Using random caps is kinda fun!) 

There are plenty of things my husband and I would like to do, together and separately, that we don't do because MONEY.

ETA If anything, my husband encourages me to spend more on my hobbies than he does on his, because he knows they make me happy and he wants me to be happy. 

 

 

Edited June 22 by marbel

[PeterPan]

5 minutes ago, marbel said:

we don't do because MONEY.

There was a point in my life where I was doing some $$$$ alternative medical care not covered by insurance. It WORKED but it was $$$$$. I had a woman ask me WHY I was spending so much money on myself. The line was very clear and direct. If you earn it, do what you want with it. If you didn't earn it, put your family first. 

Studies show women do this, that (in general, statistically) if you give money to women they spend it on their kids, etc. and not as much themselves. And I'm saying even when we HAVE the money in our budgets we self-enforce this.

So if you HAD the money and it wasn't a stretch or a pinch but it was your dh who earned it, not you, would you go? 

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

1 hour ago, regentrude said:

That's not what I said. I said *I* wouldn't have felt comfortable spending that much on myself. I'm sure I'm not the only woman who feels like that. We had much less money as a family, and I wouldn't have prioritized my hobbies financially.

 

You're right, I took you as meaning *because* you worked you allowed yourself hobbies and would have done them had you not worked vs. because you worked you could afford the hobbies. 

And I'm saying as a woman who doesn't work a paying job, I get flack for doing things for myself. I actively have women implying or telling me I'm unjust for doing xyz thing rather than putting that money into "family." I think women who don't work sometimes give themselves flack and tell themselves they mustn't do things and I think it's the underlying subcurrent of "because we didn't earn it."

Edited June 22 by PeterPan

[marbel]

Just now, PeterPan said:

So if you HAD the money and it wasn't a stretch or a pinch but it was your dh who earned it, not you, would you go? 

Yes. I thought I made that clear in my post; guess not.  But it would have to be something I was very interested in, and there would have to be plenty of excess money available to indulge the expenditure. It wouldn't matter who earned it. 

Maybe to you $400 is a pittance. It's not to me, and not to a lot of people I know. So maybe we are just not understanding each other because of that. 

[marbel]

2 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

You're right, I took you as meaning *because* you worked you allowed yourself hobbies and would have done them had you not worked vs. because you worked you could afford the hobbies. 

And I'm saying as a woman who doesn't work a paying job, I get flack for doing things for myself. I actively have women implying or telling me I'm unjust for doing xyz thing rather than putting that money into "family." I think women who don't work sometimes give themselves flack and tell themselves they mustn't do things and I think it's the underlying subcurrent of "because we didn't earn it."

Why do you care about what these women are implying or telling you about your finances?  

[marbel]

15 minutes ago, PeterPan said:

There was a point in my life where I was doing some $$$$ alternative medical care not covered by insurance. It WORKED but it was $$$$$. I had a woman ask me WHY I was spending so much money on myself. The line was very clear and direct. If you earn it, do what you want with it. If you didn't earn it, put your family first. 

Studies show women do this, that (in general, statistically) if you give money to women they spend it on their kids, etc. and not as much themselves. And I'm saying even when we HAVE the money in our budgets we self-enforce this.

So if you HAD the money and it wasn't a stretch or a pinch but it was your dh who earned it, not you, would you go? 

Obtaining appropriate medical care is taking care of your family. 

(But I understand some people forego medical care simply because they (family) cannot afford it. That's not the woman denying herself; it's a failure of the medical system.)

Edited June 22 by marbel

[Carol in Cal.]

I have an obscure hobby (hand weaving) that is supported by books and conventions and memberships.  I don’t participate in the conventions or memberships every year, but if one is nearby some year I consider it and sometimes do splurge and go.  It’s expensive, and again very obscure, but I enjoy it tremendously.  If it was nearby every year I would probably go less often, ironically enough.

I know of people who collect dolls or toy trains or old Barbies who do the same thing.  There seems to be a group for everything!

In this particular case I would study it carefully.  It’s more of a collectors’ club, it seems, than a joy of Christmas club.  If that was my jam, and it’s hardly ever in driving range I’d go.  And I’d probably stay at the conference hotel for at least part of it.

Edited June 22 by Carol in Cal.

[Kuovonne]

Am I the only one who thinks that $400 for a multi-day conference is not surprising? Most of the conferences I have been to have been supported by huge vendor halls, massive attendance, or high ticket prices. The smaller the conference, the higher the ticket price, unless the venue is free. The expensive conferences that I go to are professional ones, so I have usually gotten my employer to pay for them. 
 

If there are multiple speaker sessions with paid speakers, classes, and other events besides shopping that you are interested in, consider adding up the hours you would be interested in and dividing out to see what the per-hour cost would be. For reference, I like to compare my per-hour entertainment costs to the per-hour cost of a movie or a live show, a live broadway show, etc. Then I think if I would enjoy it more than that activity with a similar per-hour cost. 

[Annie G]

It sounds like an event that is way more fun when you’re with someone- someone who wants to be there. So I wouldn’t go because I wouldn’t enjoy it as much alone.  But I have gone to the international quilt festival in Houston, when I was living in N Il, and I spent way more than $400 between flight, hotel, food, etc.   But I was with my sister and a couple of Texas friends, and it was a wonderful time. 
Having said that *I* wouldn’t do it, I would encourage you to do something fun just for yourself. maybe this convention next year, or some other thing….but you seem to do a lot for other people and nothing just for you except things that are faith based. I’m talking about doing something fun, just for you. Yeah, spending that money on decorations will give you something that will physically last longer, but experiences can be so worthwhile too. 

[Ginevra]

4 hours ago, Spryte said:

Oooh, I have to ask — what show did you go to?

The Bethlehem, PA Christkindle mart. 🥰