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Posted

The kids in my school are trying to change the dress code. I'm all for having student input, and I think the dress code is unnecessarily strict. 

Curious about other people's experiences with dress codes at school. Also curious if anyone had a workplace dress code (formally written out - not just informally agreed to)?

Posted

One of my neighborhood schools that is more particular. It used to be polo shirts and pants/skirts only for this school.

“ The following are general guidelines:
1. Neck to knees should be covered
a. small or no logos preferred
b. safe, clean, and neat: no tears or cuts,
2. Student dress or appearance shall not be disruptive or offensive to the educational environment or process
a. Please reserve clothing that advertises products such as movies, video games, sporting teams for weekend wear or spirit days

   
 Footwear must be worn on campus at all times. Students must wear closed toe shoes. Slippers, flip-flops, and heels are not considered appropriate footwear.
**** maintains a small clothes closet for families who may need help in obtaining appropriate clothing. Anyone wishing to contribute or in need of clothing should contact the school office”

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Posted
16 minutes ago, Kanin said:

 

Curious about other people's experiences with dress codes at school. Also curious if anyone had a workplace dress code (formally written out - not just informally agreed to)?

When I worked in federal courts, the dress code was black suits, white shirt, modest heels or dress flats and hose. Several years ago, women were permitted to wear suit trousers with their suit jackets. It has loosened slightly since then (“dark suits”) but not much more.

 

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Posted

Our dress code has the typical "fingertip" rule for length of shorts and skirts. Any pants with rips in them have to have the rips be below the fingertip. For kids with super long arms, they say a 5-inch inseam is acceptable.

I've been searching on Old Navy, Target, Walmart, etc. and am having trouble finding shorts with a 5-inch inseam. The longer ones are all uniform-types.

Posted
1 minute ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Search for bermuda shorts

They are sometimes labeled as golf shorts.

@Kanin for guys, Marshalls/TJMaxx might have some but I rarely see any for ladies. You could also check out Dick’s Sporting Goods, Macy’s, JCPenny, Kohl’s.

Posted
24 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

When I worked in federal courts, the dress code was black suits, white shirt, modest heels or dress flats and hose. Several years ago, women were permitted to wear suit trousers with their suit jackets. It has loosened slightly since then (“dark suits”) but not much more.

 

Wow. That's pretty strict!

Posted

I have to say that I'm a big fan of school uniforms. 

I wish there were more recognizable uniforms in hospitals now, too. I can't tell the difference between the cleaning staff and the doctors and everyone inbetween. The doctors will usually introduce themselves to you, but no one else does. The staff sat beside the u/s machine are easy to identify.

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Posted
Just now, wintermom said:

I have to say that I'm a big fan of school uniforms. 

I think all kids should wear cloaks a la Hogwarts or lab coats.  Everyone can wear whatever they want underneath.  I can't seem to get anyone on board with this idea though. 

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Posted
3 minutes ago, Heartstrings said:

I think all kids should wear cloaks a la Hogwarts or lab coats.  Everyone can wear whatever they want underneath.  I can't seem to get anyone on board with this idea though. 

Are these awesome or what!! You'd have to behave well while wearing these. 

British boy in school uniform hi-res stock photography and ...

Posted
Just now, wintermom said:

Are these awesome or what!! You'd have to behave well while wearing these. 

British boy in school uniform hi-res stock photography and ...

Those are adorable  I can feel IQ points and test scores shooting up just from the cuteness.  

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Posted
9 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I have to say that I'm a big fan of school uniforms. 

I wish there were more recognizable uniforms in hospitals now, too. I can't tell the difference between the cleaning staff and the doctors and everyone inbetween. The doctors will usually introduce themselves to you, but no one else does. The staff sat beside the u/s machine are easy to identify.

At my husband’s hospital, everyone wears hospital provided scrubs, but they are color coded by occupation. So now, even when I see hospital employees walking in neighborhood parks on their breaks, I know what their job is.

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Frances said:

At my husband’s hospital, everyone wears hospital provided scrubs, but they are color coded by occupation. So now, even when I see hospital employees walking in neighborhood parks on their breaks, I know what their job is.

Who knows the code, though? If you work there you would know, but to infrequent visitors it's not like there is a big sign at the front door of the ER. 

I do like the idea, though. 

Posted
18 minutes ago, wintermom said:

I have to say that I'm a big fan of school uniforms. 

My elementary school (1st to 6th) uniform design is very old school and still being used by current students. It is a blouse and pinafore set.

image.thumb.jpeg.f01a1fc8d723e1b21d7a0a9e5eae69be.jpeg

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Posted
2 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

My elementary school (1st to 6th) uniform design is very old school and still being used by current students. It is a blouse and pinafore set.

 

I really liked the uniform options at my sons' school for both boys, girls and non-binary. They were quite casual, and comfortable, but looked very nice with enough options to be individual. And they could wear whatever shoes they wanted. 

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Posted
1 hour ago, wintermom said:

Who knows the code, though? If you work there you would know, but to infrequent visitors it's not like there is a big sign at the front door of the ER. 

I do like the idea, though. 

DH had surgery a a few months back.  In all of our paperwork, we were given information about what to expect at the hospital--including the code for the color scrubs of different types of workers; in addition the color coding was described on posters int he main hallways and on a bulleting board in his roomm

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Posted

DD had a uniform at her private high school.  She actually like it and missed it when she went to college and had to decide what to wear each day.  

Some of the offices at my university have dress codes.  Announcements are sent out for the dates of the relaxed summer dress code days.  I don't work in one of those offices, so I do not know what the specifics are.  

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Posted

My office jobs had a "dress code."  I don't remember the details, but I recall that you could occasionally do certain things to earn "casual Fridays."  Eventually they went "business casual" all days.  But "casual" was still a dress code, and honestly, "business casual" can be harder to comply with than actual "business."

My kids' K-8 had a dress code that may have been stricter than average, and it got stricter over time too.  Like, there was a requirement to wear a shirt with a collar, originally from 4th or 5th grade up, but then they made it effective even for Kindergarteners.  From about 4th or 5th grade, all clothes have to be of the "uniform type," even though the school didn't have a uniform.  (So basically buy your clothes from French Toast or similar.)  Littler kids could wear things like a dress or jumper, as long as there was a collar.  Boys were supposed to wear a tie on Wednesdays (chapel day).

The only thing that bugged me was the length thing for little kids.  My girls always wore dresses that were well within the dress code (with shorts under), but at year-end they would have all these "fun days."  There were the class picnic, field day, and "bubble water day," in rapid succession.  Kids were instructed to wear shorts.  However, my very petite kid did not have a lot of long shorts, and I wasn't going to go shopping or run a load of laundry just for that.  So, I believe it was Bubble Water Day, I sent her to school in shorts that didn't reach practically to her knees, and I was told off about it.  Still bugs me 11 years later.  😛 So much so that when they posted photos of the 2024 "Bubble Water Day," I noticed that about a third of the girls had shorty shorts on.  Is it possible that someone got a clue?  😛

In high school, I believe the dress code was the standard stuff - Don't show off your private parts, no drugs or cuss words on your t-shirt, no bare feet.  And the length thing (probably the hands at your sides rule).  However, I am pretty sure that they didn't enforce the length thing.  I'm pretty sure my kids broke that rule in high school and were never told about it.  I said something to my kid at first, but she just pointed out all the other kids on campus whose shorts were even shorter.

Pajamas were my favorite dress code violation.  My mom finds it offensive that kids wear pajamas to school, but personally, I like it much better than the low waistline jeans that show off the girls' thong underwear.  I also believe in picking my battles.  😛

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Posted
17 minutes ago, Bootsie said:

DD had a uniform at her private high school.  She actually like it and missed it when she went to college and had to decide what to wear each day.

If she liked having a uniform, it's actually pretty easy to develop your own uniform.  I have had one my whole adult life (though it has changed through time depending on circumstances).

Posted

My first public school teaching job back in the early 1990’s had a dress code that required female employees to wear pantyhose/stocking from Oct through April. Men had to wear ties during that time. The “summer” dress code did not require hose or ties. 
my local school district does has a written dress code for employees which is much less formal than my first district. Teachers can’t wear shorts (except for PE and coaches actively coaching - so no shorts while teaching history. Also, leggings can be worn with dresses but not as pants. 
I don’t know what the length requirements are for the kids, but they are allowed to wear shorts. I do t spend much time at the high school so can’t say much about that age group, but for the middle schoolers I would say that the content on graphic tees is a bigger issue than skimpy clothing. The kids all seem to be favoring baggy clothing.

Posted (edited)

My workplace rescinded its dress code  two years ago. Most employees dress casual to business casual, employer-branded tees and polos are OK. Managers on up distinguish themselves by voluntarily dressing more formally for in-person events. My kid’s school has a dress code but it is not overly strict. Coverage from chest to thigh with no holes above the thigh. Shoes, no slippers, and no hats or hoodies up in the building. That’s it.

Edited by Sneezyone
Posted
4 hours ago, Kanin said:

Also curious if anyone had a workplace dress code (formally written out - not just informally agreed to)?

I actually did have a dress code at work. A company I worked for did not originally have a dress code, well it turns out they did need to write out a dress code.

Company that later determined they needed a dress code:

  1. Must wear appropriate shirt, bottom and shoes for a professional setting.  (They had an issue with coworkers deciding it was appropriate to wear just their undershirts and shorts around the office after their workout at lunchtime.)
  2. Rules that pertain to the lab areas
    1. Closed toed shoes with rubber soles
    2. Bottoms must be long enough to cover thighs to knees.

Company 2 with stricter lab wear rules included all of the above along with lab coats and goggles were required in lab areas.    

Posted
1 hour ago, Bootsie said:

DH had surgery a a few months back.  In all of our paperwork, we were given information about what to expect at the hospital--including the code for the color scrubs of different types of workers; in addition the color coding was described on posters int he main hallways and on a bulleting board in his roomm

That would be useful! 

Posted (edited)

My current job has an official dress code. In fact, they just resent it around to everyone this past week because 95% of us work from home, but the office is moving to a new location, and they expect that people will come into peek at the new office, and they want people coming in wearing proper clothes. No jeans. No sneakers. No hats. No flip flops. The only one that’s tricky is no sleeveless shirts or dresses, unless they’re covered under a jacket or sweater at all times. A lot of dressy shirts/dresses are sleeveless, so that can be annoying.

The previous company had a business dress code and they loosened it to business casual while I was there, but there was still a dress code. They allowed jeans, but there were still guidelines: no flip flops and no shorts, etc. 

Edited by Garga
Posted

This isn’t helpful to the OP but my dd goes to Catholic school and the skorts are so short. Supposedly the rule is 4” above the knee but they are very very short. No one is passing the finger tip rule. They just gave up. My dd is 5’5 and she orders from the online supplier and even the standard size they come in is shorter than 4” above the knee. And that is before they are rolled or hemmed. Some really thin girls buy little girls sizes and they are tiny. 
 

I don’t care. My dd’s are too short by regulation but she looks decent and they are longer than most and she looks cute and appropriate and I’m fine with it. I wish it could just be left to the parents. I don’t need anyone telling my dd they see too much thigh. It’s weird. I’d rather just decide what is appropriate for her and admin stay out of it. I know that doesn’t work that way though.

I think the solution to this problem is just pants for all. They have air conditioning. 

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Posted
2 hours ago, teachermom2834 said:

My dd is 5’5 and she orders from the online supplier and even the standard size they come in is shorter than 4” above the knee

My school uniforms from 1st grade to 12th grade were tailor made because the standard size won’t fit. The school assigned tailors would come to school and measure us up class by class for those who don’t fit the standard sizes. My pinafores and skirts had to be at least knee level. My parents prefers school uniforms though because it makes getting ready for school easier. 
 

@Bootsie DS18 decided that his “uniform” was red polo shirt and blue jeans when attending outside classes while homeschooling. His “uniform” became white shirt blue jeans when attending community college. 

Posted

Most public and private schools in Australia have school uniforms, but my child's school doesn't and it has made life so much easier. The cost of school uniforms can be crazy, and if you have a child who is different (sensory, non-binary, just intractable) it can make life so hard. They have rules about appropriate shirts (no swear words) and I think safety stuff like covered shoes and sun-safety. Not having to specially wash and iron school clothes/sports clothes and put them out ready and where is your hat and so on . . . it's bliss. 

Posted

Youngest ds's dress code is vague:

-No hats indoors

-if your dress is offensive, you will be asked to change

 

The kids wear mostly anything. I think only offensive logos/slogans have been sent to the office.  They don't really push it.  If a child has p.e. that day they are required to wear sneakers.  They can be left at school or worn in, it doesn't matter.

 

Oldest ds had a much stricter dress code.  He had a uniform of the school polo and khakis, but the school was very particular on how the khakis fit.  Strike that.  They were very particular on how they fit on girls. Boys, they didn't care.  Girls could get dress coded for quite a lot based on the fit, and corporal punishment was still a thing.  It felt really icky, to tell a girl her pants were too tight and then have her bend over for spankings from the principal. And do it in the name of God.  But it was the school ds chose and he kept to himself/stayed off campus pretty much after two years.

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Posted (edited)

We live in a lower income, higher poverty area with a *uniform* requirement for the upper grades. It seems to be effective and has lasted in the community for many years now. 

Seems like your students might want to be careful, lest they annoy the adults and end up with uniforms. 🤣

Fwiw, my dh has uniform/dress code requirements at both his work places he works. The university I went to had strict dress codes and when I worked on staff we had dress codes. I guess you could say neither of us has ever worked at a place that DIDN'T have dress codes. I'm not sure the students whining about being told what to wear are preparing for real life. 

Edited by PeterPan
Posted
5 hours ago, bookbard said:

The cost of school uniforms can be crazy,

See that's why I wondered how it has held up so long in the community I'm in. They must have quietly found ways. Also, I think I've seen discussions about sensory sensitive versions of the uniform clothing. We also have a lot of alternative school options (charter, autism, etc.).

Posted

School uniform gripe incoming: my dd’s high school uniforms are little kid styles made larger. They are nothing a woman would ever wear. She has a womanly shape. She is a very curvy size 8/10 and the uniforms are a nightmare. They are cut for 8 yos. She needs double XL blouses and the size 8 skirt fits her around the waist but even the size ten makes no allowance for hips or booty. 
 

So what is supposed to even the playing field is making a self conscious teen (with honestly a nice healthy body) wear ill fitting clothes that make her look like a frumpy old lady just to get them large enough to cover her curves or she is allowed to wear the boys styles if those are cut bigger which are not flattering either. 
 

Uniforms would be easier if they fit. And she isn’t hard to fit. She is just a woman not a stick.

 

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Posted
32 minutes ago, teachermom2834 said:

School uniform gripe incoming: my dd’s high school uniforms are little kid styles made larger. They are nothing a woman would ever wear. She has a womanly shape. She is a very curvy size 8/10 and the uniforms are a nightmare. They are cut for 8 yos. She needs double XL blouses and the size 8 skirt fits her around the waist but even the size ten makes no allowance for hips or booty. 
 

So what is supposed to even the playing field is making a self conscious teen (with honestly a nice healthy body) wear ill fitting clothes that make her look like a frumpy old lady just to get them large enough to cover her curves or she is allowed to wear the boys styles if those are cut bigger which are not flattering either. 
 

Uniforms would be easier if they fit. And she isn’t hard to fit. She is just a woman not a stick.

 

Yes... this is one of the kids' talking points. A certain inseam length rides higher on certain kids than others, making it really hard for some kids to find clothes are are dress-code appropriate. 

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Posted

I just want to add, one of the things I have noticed about a dress code is that the more strict it is, the more it disrupts learning.  When a school is so focused on things like the right fit, the right look...it sends the wrong message to kids and parents.  It tells them:

  • there is no room for growth.  DS grew 6 inches in one year.  There were occasions where he would put something on one day and the next it would be way too short for the dress code for my own high school
  • there is no room for economic disparity.  We are fortunate enough to be able to go buy ds 4 wardrobes in a single school year.  Other parents are not.
  • there is no room for equality.  Dress codes are often written to disproportionately police the dress of girls and minority students from other cultures.
  • there is a lack of emphasis on a child's job.  Children should be wearing things that don't look professional, but encourage play and physical work.  A stricter dress code emphasizes the need to keep clothes in perfect order.
  • there is a potential for subtle bullying that is beyond the scope of a teacher, and they are okay with that.  You must wear THESE khakis or THOSE shoes to fit in, instead of expressing their individuality.
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Posted
2 minutes ago, Kanin said:

Yes... this is one of the kids' talking points. A certain inseam length rides higher on certain kids than others, making it really hard for some kids to find clothes are are dress-code appropriate. 

Yep…and as the mom of a curvy girl …she can be totally in dress code and still raise eyebrows. I’m super conservative and modest and raised her to be and I’ve started telling her she is blessed and we aren’t going to apologize that she is hot. lol. I’m actually super thankful her school is not strict on the dress code because that would cause issues for her. my gripe is really with the manufacturers of the uniforms. Her school has two providers and lots of options but they are all bad if you are a woman not a stick. 

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Posted

The public charter Ds attends used to have khakis and a polo shirt type dress code. Now it’s far looser and kids pretty much wear whatever. Tops with spaghetti straps, pajama bottoms, etc. 

Ds wears a t shirt and basketball shorts when it’s warm and adds sweats when it’s not. Running shoes. 
 

Posted

My kids' friend attended a high school where the male vice-principal would "dress-code" the girls.  I dunno, I lean conservative, but that would feel disturbing to me.  Most likely the guy was decent, but just the idea that a guy in power is methodically looking up and down every girl's outfit is yuck.

When I was in high school, there was a female vice principal, who dealt with girl issues like dress code, girl fights, and smoking in the girls' room.

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Posted
53 minutes ago, HomeAgain said:
  • ... A stricter dress code emphasizes the need to keep clothes in perfect order.
  • there is a potential for subtle bullying that is beyond the scope of a teacher, and they are okay with that.  You must wear THESE khakis or THOSE shoes to fit in, instead of expressing their individuality.

 

I agree with the first one.  When I was a kid, we had "school clothes" and "play clothes."  We had to change when we got home from school.  At school, there was no freedom to really play as kids should play ... especially for girls, who had to wear skirts (this rule changed to "pant suits OK" in 2nd grade).  Woe to the child who came home from school with a hole or stain on their school clothes.  But, this wasn't totally in our control; certain boys would push girls down etc.  I spent most of my K-8 recesses standing off to the side.  Art class was a bit scary also.

To your second bullet, I believe that is going to happen regardless of dress code.  I attended a rural public high school with a relatively lax dress code, but there was still plenty of one-upmanship and bullying around clothes.  And even in schools with a uniform, girls in particular will figure out a way ... socks, shoes, hair, pencils ... somehow they will prove they're at or near the top of the pecking order.

Posted
8 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

Our homeschool group dress code is no belly showing, no bra showing, no undies showing, no giant arms holes, shorts/skirts mid thigh. 

And this is exactly what I mean when I say that it disproportionately affects girls.  Dress codes are written to things people find offensive in girls' dress, not in children's dress.  It really must be examined as to why we, as a society, feel the need to concentrate so heavily on young girls.  We should be determining what is the overall need, not creating rules that imply s*xualization of children.

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Posted (edited)
15 hours ago, wintermom said:

I have to say that I'm a big fan of school uniforms. 

 

My kids went to a school with strict school uniform until age 16, after which age they had to wear business attire. It made things simpler.

Eta there is a second-hand uniform shop run by the parents. 

Edited by Laura Corin
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Posted
1 hour ago, SKL said:

Most likely the guy was decent, but just the idea that a guy in power is methodically looking up and down every girl's outfit is yuck.

I think that even a woman looking up and down every girl's outfit is pretty yuck. The kids say they feel body-shamed.

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Posted (edited)

My kids' public school dress code is very basic:

  • No exposed underwear
  • No spikes or chains
  • No offensive or inappropriate content (pertains to graphics or logos)

I am bothered by gendered dress codes.  IME these are an equity issue; inevitably cause the the girls' bodies to be policed.

ETA: Some of the girls wear some pretty eye-popping outfits - short shorts, tiny tops etc.  But, that's their perogative.  We're pretty liberal.  My kids are free dress however they want; but they are aware that others will pass judgement and that those judgements may influence their reality (opportunities, getting the benefit of the doubt, credibility, reputation), and that no matter how unfair that feels, it's the way life is.

Edited by wathe
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Posted
13 minutes ago, wathe said:

 

I am bothered by gendered dress codes.  IME these are an equity issue; inevitably cause the the girls' bodies to be policed.

 

I feel the same way.  I know our middle and high school doesn't allow leggings and the shorts/spaghetti straps have to be some kind of fingertip measure.  Ds2's ex was sent to the office once because she had a light cardigan on and took it off in the cafeteria and was wearing a sundress with shoulder straps that weren't wide enough.  It was hot and there's no a/c in most of the school.  A staff member immediately reported her.  I thought it was ridiculous.  She wasn't doing anything inappropriate or interfering with learning in the classroom. 

Oh, and of course, girls are allowed to wear cheer uniforms with short skirts and tight short volleyball shorts on game days.  I'm not sure why that's allowed but girls can't wear leggings or weather appropriate clothes in school.  I'm also liberal and hate the dress code and the issue of the girls' bodies being policed.  

 

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Posted
2 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

And this is exactly what I mean when I say that it disproportionately affects girls.  Dress codes are written to things people find offensive in girls' dress, not in children's dress.  It really must be examined as to why we, as a society, feel the need to concentrate so heavily on young girls.  We should be determining what is the overall need, not creating rules that imply s*xualization of children.

Well when they make gender-specific rules, people complain that it's unfair.  So they try to make rules that are not sex-specific, and now people are questioning the motives.  Whoever makes the rules can't win

I think we need at least the bare minimum (no pun intended) dress code, because yeah, seeing anyone's genitals or breasts is going to be distracting, and that's not what school is for.  (Unsanitary is another consideration when we are talking ridiculously short shorts.)

I think young people are idiots for showing off the maximum amount of skin (even when my own kids do it).  So many layers of dumb.  But most of it isn't going to hurt others, so whatever.

I also think that there needs to be a little bit of space between "against the rules" and "absolutely unacceptable / dangerous," because many kids feel the need to push the boundaries of the rules.  So give them a little margin to push without actually hurting anyone.

And I'll throw in a plug for the many kids who feel more comfortable covering up, except that it's apparently so uncool.

(Don't worry, I'm not making the rules in any school.  Your kids [and mine] are all safe from my insanity.)

Posted

I also don't agree that dress codes always favor the boys.  It's not the boys' fault that fashions dictate short shorts for girls but sensible lengths for boys.  Both sexes have to wear something on top; it's not the boys' fault that most boy styles cover up more than, say, a tube top or spaghetti strap whatever.  (FTR I don't agree that there's anything wrong with spaghetti straps ... but I disagree that boys get to be cooler because girls can't wear spaghetti straps.)

When I was a kid, the fuss about dress codes was that girls had more options than boys to dress cooler on hot days.  Because back then, boys had to wear long pants 100% of the time, even if it was 100+F with no air conditioning.  But girls could wear skirts.  So the boys started pushing to be allowed to wear shorts as long as the girls' skirts.  Somehow we got from there to here and people think everyone should be allowed to bare it all (almost).

Posted
Quote
Quote

 

 

It's easy to go down a rabbit hole of dress codes... like if you start asking about the fingertip rule and who that benefits, which maybe leads you to a discussion of what "professional" attire looks like, then you need to start asking about the origin of professional attire and why it's considered professional... 

Posted
1 minute ago, Kanin said:

It's easy to go down a rabbit hole of dress codes... like if you start asking about the fingertip rule and who that benefits, which maybe leads you to a discussion of what "professional" attire looks like, then you need to start asking about the origin of professional attire and why it's considered professional... 

And I'm glad that "what's professional" has changed a lot in  my lifetime.  🙂

Still, in all the different work environments I've been in, the only places employees feel comfy wearing short shorts are strip joints.  People generally cover up, and I'm quite OK with that.

Posted
3 hours ago, HomeAgain said:

And this is exactly what I mean when I say that it disproportionately affects girls.  Dress codes are written to things people find offensive in girls' dress, not in children's dress.  It really must be examined as to why we, as a society, feel the need to concentrate so heavily on young girls.  We should be determining what is the overall need, not creating rules that imply s*xualization of children.

Here, teen boys wear short shorts, crop tees, and holey pants that show large amounts of undies.  The girls ages 10 and up wear shorts that are very close to thongs.  I think requiring all kids to wear clothes that cover your underwear and butt are appropriate. Its okay if you don't, just don't join a group that requires it. No one is forced to attend our homeschool group, they can make one themselves that allows people to wear bikinis to class if they want . 

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