Thank you notes or just plain saying thank you

[Indigo Blue]

Is this, too, getting to be a thing of the past? 
 

I have young relatives who have never acknowledged any gift I have given, whether gift was given in person or by mail. The latest is a wedding gift. One gift that was given was generous and very pricey. 
 

It is leaving me wondering if this is the new trend or if they are just rude and lazy. Or unappreciative. It kinda does hurt a bit and makes me not to want to send anymore gifts. 
 

Should I just accept this is yet another new normal? 

[marbel]

I assume laziness and poor manners. I consider any acknowledgement of a gift to be fine, so a written note, text, email, call or in-person thanks are all great to me. 

Years ago I stopped giving a particular group of family members gifts because they'd never acknowledge receipt (the gifts were always sent as we lived far apart). I didn't care so much about being thanked, just wanted to know if the thing arrived. 

I tried again as these young people married and only one of the 4 bothered to respond to the wedding gift. So that is the only one who gets gifts anymore. Call me petty but dang it, if someone sends a gift, it is literally the least the recipient  can do to acknowledge it's arrival. 

[gardenmom5]

This is a long standing problem.  The older generation lamenting the lack of thank you notes from younger generations . . . 

No, it's not a thing of the past - especially if you go to stationary stores and see the many many boxes of thank you cards.

I prefer blank note card as they can also be used as thinking of you cards and gift card . . but I digress.

I would assume youth and lack of manners.  If you sent the gift - you are permitted to call and ask if it actually arrived (especially in this age of porch pirates). . . . wink wink  nudge nudge.

[prairiewindmomma]

I’ve seen a trend towards texts over written thank yous, and in person thank yous but not a followup written note.

[catz]

If someone opens a gift in front of us, I don't expect one.  They thank in that moment and that is fine.  Exception might be a shower gift, thank yous are nice after those but whatever.  It's doubly nice to thank someone for taking the time to support you at a personal event.  

What bugs me is if I send something and we never hear if it was recieved.  I would happily take a one line text, email, voice mail, quick note.  I always have blank note cards.  And I continue to encourage my young adults to at least acknowledge receipt of something with a quick thank you.  My siblings kids rarely acknowledge receipt of anything. 

We actually took joy in doing thank you notes for our showers and weddings.  We picked up post cards from our honeymoon in Asia to do thank you post cards.  

I don't hold a grudge or call out lack of thank yous.  I have contacted relatives to verify receipt of some things after the fact.  It just doesn't seem like too much to shoot off an acknowledgement if someone took the time to send you something.  

[Kassia]

4 minutes ago, catz said:

If someone opens a gift in front of us, I don't expect one.  They thank in that moment and that is fine.  

What bugs me is if I send something and we never hear if it was recieved.  I would happily take a one line text, email, voice mail, quick note.  I always have blank note cards.  And I continue to encourage my young adults to at least acknowledge receipt of something with a quick thank you. 

I don't hold a grudge or call out lack of thank yous.  I have contacted relatives to verify receipt of some things after the fact.  It just doesn't seem like too much to shoot off an acknowledgement if someone took the time to send you something.  

ITA with all of this.  

 

[Faith-manor]

We never did written notes. The reality is that like everything in the greeting card industry they end up being a huge amount of trash. The kids thanked people in person, profusely, if they opened gifts with the giver or called. Now they email if they can't call due to work hours, and are very prompt with that.  A personal phone call is actually, in my book, much more of a relationship builder than a thank you card unless of course it is hand made.

I think gifts need to be acknowledged. I think email, text, and phone call should be the preferred method over making more trash. I think that it is wrong to just leave people hanging when a fist has been shipped/mailed. People need to know if they need to go chew out UPS, USPS or whomever.

[gardenmom5]

37 minutes ago, catz said:

 

What bugs me is if I send something and we never hear if it was recieved.  I would happily take a one line text, email, voice mail, quick note.  I always have blank note cards.  And I continue to encourage my young adults to at least acknowledge receipt of something with a quick thank you.  My siblings kids rarely acknowledge receipt of anything. 

 

Maybe we should give blank note cards as gifts?
graduations, showers, birthdays, etc. . . hint hint. . 

My mother never did thank you notes we were encouraged to call and say thank you.  I consider that a disservice, as when you reach adulthood - that is NOT practical outside of close family members/friends.

[Clarita]

I'm quite forgiving of this sin. I did not send thank you cards for my wedding presents. I had every intention to I got packs of thank you cards, a bunch I did write out, but my dad had suddenly passed a month before my wedding day, so I was in a bad spot during the time I should have been writing these cards.

Some of the trouble came because the merchandisers would ship gifts in separate packages and so gifts would come without a clear indication of who bought them, some packages of gifts would come with more than one name attached to them, etc. I wasn't really in a good space to tease out all the logistics and write the notes.

I don't know if this is all better now because my friend shipped my kids Christmas gifts and the gifts came in too packages with no indication as to who it came from. We only figured this out months later when she texted me asking how my children liked the gifts, at which point I said "That's where those things came from!" Yes, we all know there's a section where you write a note to your gifts recipient and yes my friend said she did that (usually her gifts do come with the note), but this time it was missing from the two packages that arrived separately.

[Arcadia]

My young relatives with cellphones would text a thank you message acknowledging the receipt of my gift. My brother would acknowledged on his young daughter’s behalf since she doesn’t have WhatsApp and we are in different countries. The only thank you notes I have received are from my generation (gen X) or older.

[Clarita]

Not all is lost though my daughter (6) loves writing notes. Thank you notes, notes to say Hi, notes to tell you about what she ate last night, all the notes. Yes she gets lots of presents from the grandmas. 😉

[Indigo Blue]

Ok, so I see I should update my outdated ways of thinking. 🙂

[katilac]

How long has it been for the wedding gift, and when was it given? Gifts that are given ahead of the wedding are easier to get the thanks out for, gifts given AT the wedding means they have a pile to work through. 

I don't expect a separate thank you if the person opens the gift while I'm there and thanks me. 

When I send a gift, I don't care if the thank you is mailed; I'm good with a call, or a text, or thanks so much for the XYZ the next time I see them. 

I try to not get overly tangled up whether I was thanked, bc lord knows I myself am familiar with the road that's paved with good intentions. 

[SKL]

I'm curious about this myself, in the big picture. 

I mean, I think one must 100% send a thank you card for wedding and shower gifts, and any relatively significant gift of money (like if my kids get any for graduation) ... regardless of whether they are given in person or not ... with the exception of gifts from very close people (like parents or housemates).

For other gifts, if the recipient is too young to write a thank-you letter independently, or if the gift is given and appreciated in person, I don't think a thank-you card is necessary.  Am I wrong?  So if my kids or I receive something from my brother at the family Christmas gathering, and open it and say thank you, that's good enough.  But if we receive the same gift from the same person but didn't get a chance to properly acknowledge and appreciate the gift, then we should send a thank-you card.
 

That's kinda where I'm at.

I've never received a thank-you card at all from one of my nieces or my nephew (that I recall).  My younger nieces do send thank-you cards for gifts that I mail to them; my sister is a stickler on that front.

I do have to nag my kids a lot in order to get them to write the dang cards (or have in the past).  There have been times when I just gave up because too much time had passed.  But the recipients' kids weren't any better about my gifts, so I don't worry too much about that.

[katilac]

1 hour ago, Faith-manor said:

I think email, text, and phone call should be the preferred method over making more trash. 

When my kids were small, the cousins sent the grandparents pre-written thank you notes with the occasional blank to fill in, and it drove me bananas. 

We're talking about presents given in person. All the kids were good at saying thanks then and there. Afterwards, my kids would often draw them a picture (ME ON My nEW skatES And ThAT's mY CAT type of thing), and I would always send pics of them wearing the dress or drawing with the new pencils, but the cousins sending "Dear (blank), thank you for my new (blank) . . . " was apparently the superior method 🙄 

Yeah, I'm still salty about it, lol. 

In their teens, the gifts that were sent to them were mostly money or gift cards, and I told them it was fine to text or call with thanks and ackowledgement, and then try to text a pic of what they bought (thanks @Faith-manor for providing a good reason!). Once, they sent a series of pics in real time: a selfie as they set out to shop, some pics as they shopped (hmm, should I get this??), pics of lunch, then some end of day, end result photos. 

I thought it was a very cute idea, I'm not entirely sure the grandparents did 😄

Edited June 2 by katilac

[katilac]

5 minutes ago, SKL said:

  younger nieces do send thank-you cards for gifts that I mail to them; my sister is a stickler on that front.

Would you consider a phone call comparable, or a text that thanks you and shows you the gift in action? Or is the snail mail thank you superior? 

For anyone who has thoughts on it, do you consider snail mail superior to phone calls, emails, texts? Does it become equal when it's a phone call that is also a conversation (not just, thanks, bye!) or a friendly text with photos of the gift in use versus a perfunctory note in a mailed card, or does any mailed thank you always win? 

Should we devise a points system?

[Miss Tick]

11 minutes ago, katilac said:

For anyone who has thoughts on it, do you consider snail mail superior to phone calls, emails, texts?

I definitely do! However I am happy with pretty much any form of acknowledgement. One-line text is fine, I'm not a stickler. I mean similarly, there are certain book genres I particularly like, but I'm pretty happy if people just read whatever suits them.

[Ottakee]

I am struggling with thank you notes for funeral flowers.  I have the card set out, but after 2 deaths (my brother that I was sorta in charge of, and my mother ) in 7 weeks time, I just haven’t had the mental energy to do so.

[Rosie_0801]

I tend to assume executive function issues. If I send anything to my cousin with ADHD who is a single mother to a small, autistic boy, I do not expect a thank you until I text to see if it ever showed up, then I'll get the thank you with exclamation marks on top.

Expecting thank you notes from grieving people seems rude to me. They have problems enough. 

This is the upside to anonymous gifts, which I know a lot of people hate. There is then no obligation to write a thank you note!

[Faith-manor]

28 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I am struggling with thank you notes for funeral flowers.  I have the card set out, but after 2 deaths (my brother that I was sorta in charge of, and my mother ) in 7 weeks time, I just haven’t had the mental energy to do so.

Be kind to yourself and don't worry about it. Of all the times people should be able to understand not having communication bandwidth, this is the one!

[Kassia]

13 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

Be kind to yourself and don't worry about it. Of all the times people should be able to understand not having communication bandwidth, this is the one!

I agree.  Sending hugs, @Ottakee

 

[Arcadia]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

For anyone who has thoughts on it, do you consider snail mail superior to phone calls, emails, texts?

I would say if someone is going to mail a thank you note, I would also do a text whether as sender or recipient. As a sender of the thank you note, I would want the person to know I received the gift before USPS delivered my thank you note. As a thank you note recipient, I appreciate knowing that my gift reaches you safely even if USPS manages to lose your thank you note. My neighbors have sent us thank you notes for help rendered and it was hand delivered so no worries about lost mail. 

[Clarita]

51 minutes ago, Ottakee said:

I am struggling with thank you notes for funeral flowers.  I have the card set out, but after 2 deaths (my brother that I was sorta in charge of, and my mother ) in 7 weeks time, I just haven’t had the mental energy to do so.

This has to absolutely be no need. I remember when my dad passed away and we got things (money, cards...) from people my mom and I did not know. They were current or past coworkers and friends that were not mutual. It's just too much paperwork. They were appreciated but also the more painful the loss (the more reason to give something sweet) the less the recipient is able to perform. 

[SKL]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

Would you consider a phone call comparable, or a text that thanks you and shows you the gift in action? Or is the snail mail thank you superior? 

For anyone who has thoughts on it, do you consider snail mail superior to phone calls, emails, texts? Does it become equal when it's a phone call that is also a conversation (not just, thanks, bye!) or a friendly text with photos of the gift in use versus a perfunctory note in a mailed card, or does any mailed thank you always win? 

Should we devise a points system?

I am not sure I've given this any thought in the past, but good points have been made in this thread about not wasting paper.

As a mom, I like for my kids to have a reason to know how to write and mail a letter.  I think it's no longer something we can take for granted.  😛  However, as an auntie, I would be fine with receiving an electronic acknowledgement / thank you.

TBH I don't really want a phone call, but that is more because I dislike phone calls in general.

I think it is still necessary for me to force my kids to write a card for graduation gifts and anything similar.

 

[Bambam]

I am not going to update my outdated beliefs here. 

If I spent my time, money, energy, thought power to select, purchase, wrap, and mail or deliver a gift, the least someone can do it issue a thank you. To me, a thank you note is best (assuming it wasn't opened in front of the giver and thanks offered at that time), but depending upon the situation/relationship a text or FB message is also good. 

But there needs to be some acknowledge and gratitude expressed for the gift.  Gifts are freely given and are not mandatory.  Gratitude should be given - an acknowledgement that someone spent their limited resources on something for you. 

And quite frankly, if I send you a gift, and there is no forthcoming thank you note (or at least a message), then you will be receiving no more gifts. To me, you are not showing any gratitude, and I'm not interested in continuing in the gift-giving tradition to this sort of attitude.  Now, if the person is in a bad situation (wedding, closely followed by a death of a close family member/major illness), totally understandable that acknowledgement might slip through the cracks, and that person/situation gets a pass. 

I expect no gifts from anyone (well, okay I do expect my DH to remember my bday and Christmas!), so if anyone takes their precious time and resources (energy, thought, money) and gets me a gift, I am so thankful! That takes extra effort to do, and I'm really thrilled they thought enough about me to do such a thing. A thank you note seems like so small a thing to do in return. 

 

[busymama7]

We are still getting thank you notes for wedding gifts. I never expect them and don't keep track but one will show up and then I'm like oh yeah 😜 

My mom sent mine after I got married.  I think she knew I wouldn't be able to handle the task or at least would procrastinate for a long time and so she took the list and wrote them out herself. I'm the youngest of 5 girls and I think but don't know for sure that she got slack for my sisters not sending them so she took matters into her own hands.  It's kinda embarrassing now but 🤷‍♀️

I am very uncomfortable with thank you cards from grieving families.  My nephew died a couple years ago and I was shocked to get a hand written note from them after.  I mean if it helps them great but I really hope it wasn't a pressured expectation placed on them at an already very difficult time.   I didn't send anything after losing a baby at birth.  I couldn't even function on a day to day basis and my kids were basically feral for months.  Not proud of it but it was unbelievably difficult.  I'm glad I didn't know that people may have expected thank yous. I was so very thankful for everything that was done for us but I absolutely couldn't have handled having to write and mail thank yous. 

[Kassia]

4 hours ago, Bambam said:

I expect no gifts from anyone (well, okay I do expect my DH to remember my bday and Christmas!), so if anyone takes their precious time and resources (energy, thought, money) and gets me a gift, I am so thankful! That takes extra effort to do, and I'm really thrilled they thought enough about me to do such a thing. 

 

This is how I feel and why I'm so baffled that people don't automatically send some form of acknowledgement because they feel grateful and not because it's expected or a chore or whatever (I absolutely do not feel that way about anyone grieving).  For me, I feel such a strong sense of appreciation if someone does something for me that it's natural for me to want to thank them and let them know how much it means to me that they thought of me and made the time/effort to actually send something.  I don't understand not feeling that way.  But I never expect a formal thank you for a gift that was sent - I just want to make sure it got to the person and appreciate a quick text, email, note, whatever letting me know they got it.  I especially don't expect a big thank you from someone who is busy - like a new mom - and I don't want a thank you from someone who is grieving or in any kind of pain (illness, loss, etc.).  

1 hour ago, busymama7 said:

 

I am very uncomfortable with thank you cards from grieving families.  My nephew died a couple years ago and I was shocked to get a hand written note from them after.  I mean if it helps them great but I really hope it wasn't a pressured expectation placed on them at an already very difficult time.   I didn't send anything after losing a baby at birth.  I couldn't even function on a day to day basis and my kids were basically feral for months.  Not proud of it but it was unbelievably difficult.  I'm glad I didn't know that people may have expected thank yous. I was so very thankful for everything that was done for us but I absolutely couldn't have handled having to write and mail thank yous. 

I agree with the first part and just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss.  

[alisoncooks]

It’s not just a new generation thing. My FIL has never, not once, acknowledged or thanked us for his annual Christmas present that we send via mail. Call me petty but this year I cut him out and he didn’t get one. Still no word from him, lol, so whatever. 

[wintermom]

I used to be a thank you card, Christmas card and even birthday card writer. At one point I snapped and simply stopped feeling the "need" or guilt to do it. I don't even like receiving cards now. It's another thing I need to clean up around my disaster of a house. 

I must be a bad person. 🤢 I cannot explain exactly what 'snapped' but it was abrupt and totalitarian.

Edited June 3 by wintermom

[Faith-manor]

So I did some more research on this issue.

3.7 billion trees per year are felled to create paper.

The paper industry is the #1polluter of waterways due to the wanton release of chlorine dioxide (dioxin) which is the byproduct of bleaching paper so it is white.

26% of all landfill space is paper.

In July 2024, a first class stamp will be 73cents.

So if you consider something like big events such as weddings and graduations where gifts may number 50-100 and cards and gift wrap too, we are talking an ecological nightmare. On top of which, even if it is all gift cards and money, those need to be acknowledge too. 100 gifts will equal $73.00 in postage plus the cards, plus the jet fuel, truck, and car emissions to deliver, plus the downed trees which remove carbon sequestration from the environment, not mention the pollution to create the cards and envelope.

I think we have crossed the Rubicon. 1 billion cards just in carbon alone is the same as the carbon production to power 22,000 homes for an entire year.

My sources were scientific America, EPA, sciencedirect, and several other scientific websites. I did not go back and double/triple check the studies methodologies. I think when there is so much agreement within the scientific community, then probably they are on to something.

I think we need to make email and text the norm. Maybe when giving a gift, including your email address would be nice. I think it would be great if wedding announcements included, please let us know your email so we can express our gratitude for your thoughtfulness. Something like that. Texts for those whose phone numbers the couple, the graduate, the birthday person has.

I think we should also normalize gift bags that can be reused, and not sheets and rolls of wrapping paper. Everyone should save the gift. As they received and then just keep passing them on. It sure would save a lot of pollution. But I am sure the wrapping paper industry would fume about it!

It is startling though to think how much 1st class mail has gone up. $73 for postage after a wedding, maybe more depending on the size of the quest list, is just astounding. My parents insisted on a huge wedding. 350 in attendance, 450 invited. We had 50 some cards with cash/checks in them, and about 100 gifts. It would be over $100 in postage today plus the cards to do thanks you! Wow. We did postcards which in 1988 cost 15 cents to send. We were able to get the postcards super duper cheap.

[Miss Tick]

13 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I think we have crossed the Rubicon. 1 billion cards just in carbon alone is the same as the carbon production to power 22,000 homes for an entire year.

Just judging by my own mailbox, though, a lot of the paper I receive in the mail is not personal notes of any kind, but rather corporate solicitations in some form or another. I can see where if someone hosts a wedding for 350 people that could be a lot in thank-you postage, but it is less than they spent on postage for the invites. My point is just that this is another case of an industrial sized problem that individuals contribute to at a minuscule level. If everyone that sent me a thank you last year did it electronically this year, there would be no effect on paper company bottom lines, and no pressure to clean up their processes. Perhaps if we all switched to bidets...

I like your point of making email addresses easier for people to find, and I think I will make a point of doing that when I can.

[Faith-manor]

3 minutes ago, Miss Tick said:

Just judging by my own mailbox, though, a lot of the paper I receive in the mail is not personal notes of any kind, but rather corporate solicitations in some form or another. I can see where if someone hosts a wedding for 350 people that could be a lot in thank-you postage, but it is less than they spent on postage for the invites. My point is just that this is another case of an industrial sized problem that individuals contribute to at a minuscule level. If everyone that sent me a thank you last year did it electronically this year, there would be no effect on paper company bottom lines, and no pressure to clean up their processes. Perhaps if we all switched to bidets...

I like your point of making email addresses easier for people to find, and I think I will make a point of doing that when I can.

I 💯 agree. Absolutely. Both things need to end. There should have been laws a LONG time ago making junk mail and mass mailings illegal! It is such a massive source of pollution, not to mention it frustrates the living fire out of the citizenry. We have email on top of all the darn ads on social media. Mailing ads and offers should be extinct. There is necessary mail, but that is probably only 10% what actually gets sent. I bet if the post office stopped the discount on metered mail, it would curtail that. At 73 cents an envelope, my guess is it would suddenly become quite cost ineffective to mail every human crap they didn't ask for.

[SKL]

Well if someone can't spend $.73 on a thank you card after I've given a much more expensive gift, then surely they also can't afford to send wedding invitations, which use far more paper than thank-you cards.

Anyhoo, yay for the environment, weddings seem to be getting rarer and rarer.

And yes, I'd love to stop getting paper solicitations.

I've turned off paper billing etc. for every vendor possible.  So I get very little real mail, and even my share of the junk mail tends to be pretty small.  I still think people should send thank you cards for significant gifts.  (Not including gifts relating to bereavement, illness, and similar.)

Edited June 3 by SKL

[Bambam]

1 hour ago, Miss Tick said:

Just judging by my own mailbox, though, a lot of the paper I receive in the mail is not personal notes of any kind, but rather corporate solicitations in some form or another. I can see where if someone hosts a wedding for 350 people that could be a lot in thank-you postage, but it is less than they spent on postage for the invites. My point is just that this is another case of an industrial sized problem that individuals contribute to at a minuscule level. If everyone that sent me a thank you last year did it electronically this year, there would be no effect on paper company bottom lines, and no pressure to clean up their processes. Perhaps if we all switched to bidets...

I like your point of making email addresses easier for people to find, and I think I will make a point of doing that when I can.

I rarely receive personal notes. I do, however, send personal notes, and will continue to do so. People can read personal notes over and over again - offering continuing encouragement, while a phone call offers one time contact + possibly memory. I guess you could go back and read through old texts, but I don't - so I assume others don't. 

Gift giving in general is expensive. First selecting the gift - maybe $25-$100, then a card - $1.25 (Dollar Tree, maybe 2 for $1.25) - $10 (Papyrus), then wrapping paper/gift bag ($2-$5). And someone wants to save $3 not to send a thank you note? BTW, most of my note cards come from estate sales/garage sales. It is a good source of plain cards (I will not use the ones that say Thank you on the front). I find it hard to find blank cards (non Thank You cards) in sets any more. I think that must be all that people actually do with cards given the massive number I see at Dollar Tree and Hallmark. 

I would appreciate less junk mail (both snail and email btw!), and it is something I try to work on, but it takes time/energy/effort to get those people to stop - and you aren't always successful. 

[Faith-manor]

1 hour ago, SKL said:

Well if someone can't spend $.73 on a thank you card after I've given a much more expensive gift, then surely they also can't afford to send wedding invitations, which use far more paper than thank-you cards.

Anyhoo, yay for the environment, weddings seem to be getting rarer and rarer.

And yes, I'd love to stop getting paper solicitations.

I've turned off paper billing etc. for every vendor possible.  So I get very little real mail, and even my share of the junk mail tends to be pretty small.  I still think people should send thank you cards for significant gifts.  (Not including gifts relating to bereavement, illness, and similar.)

I agree. The whole thing is expensive. It is just crazy, and all these things for the most part get just tossed in the trash and not savored. I would be happy to not get paper/card invites to things.

I have been trying so hard to pay attention to how much gets thrown away. It is pretty awful. And ya, I think postage needs to just be a consideration. If 50 wedding invites go out, many of those weighing more than the 73cent weight because of card stock, and RSVP cards get returned at however much that costs, and then return thank you notes, and several trash bags of wrapping paper, it is kind of crazy when one stops to think about it. 

I am trying so hard to extricate myself from snail mail since so much of it is garbage. I think the only way this is going to happen is if we move, and then try like crazy not to get on mailing lists. Is that even possible in this day and age?

If anyone knows the magic way to get OFF mailing lists and not get your address sold, I would love to know. It reminds me of that crazy Seinfeld episode where Kramer goes to the post office to say he never wants to receive mail again, and ends up kidnapped by the USPS and grilled by the postmaster general until he agrees to opt in again! 😂

[SKL]

2 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

I am trying so hard to extricate myself from snail mail since so much of it is garbage. I think the only way this is going to happen is if we move, and then try like crazy not to get on mailing lists. Is that even possible in this day and age?

I haven't figured out how to completely eliminate unnecessary mail, but mine tends to be a lot less than that of my housemates.

1) Opt out of paper billing as much as possible.  To do this, you have to go onto each vendor's website and find the button to push.  I recommend setting up autopay if available so you don't forget bills that used to come by mail.

2) Be very picky about giving to charity.  I have pet projects, but they send very little mail (some of them have opt-outs, some just don't generate a lot of mail and don't sell their mailing list.)  People who get guilted into those small donations (the cops, the injured vets, etc.) get tons of solicitations from additional charities.  (I refer to this as "getting on a sucker list.")

3) Don't do online shopping at a bunch of sites.  My housemates get so many catalogs because they have bought one item 3 years ago.  😛  They all go straight into the garbage.  I don't buy much, and when I do, it's usually from Amazon.com.

4) Don't have a bunch of store credit cards or discount cards, as they also result in tons of junk mail.

There are probably other ideas that don't come to mind.

 

[Miss Tick]

3 hours ago, Faith-manor said:

I am trying so hard to extricate myself from snail mail since so much of it is garbage

I think some countries in Europe have stickers you can put on the mailbox that opt you out of junk mail. Maybe you could - I was going to say write a letter - *communicate* with the post master general about offering something similar here.

Because of the questionable way the postal service is funded, I wonder if it would go out of business without junk mail?

[Frances]

7 hours ago, SKL said:

Well if someone can't spend $.73 on a thank you card after I've given a much more expensive gift, then surely they also can't afford to send wedding invitations, which use far more paper than thank-you cards.

Anyhoo, yay for the environment, weddings seem to be getting rarer and rarer.

Fancy e-invites for weddings are getting more common. My son used them. It makes sense to me because most who send paper invites want RSVPs electronically and with e-invites you can just click a button. It’s also very convenient for sending updates.

Weddings are still very common here and judging by all the wedding related posts on these boards, many are also still occurring throughout the country. But maybe rare weddings are a regional thing.

I won’t be stopping sending hand written thank you cards and letters on paper in my lifetime, regardless of the environmental impact. I love occasionally reading through old cards and letters. After my husband’s grandma died at 97 and her daughters cleaned out her belongings, they mailed us a box with every card, letter, thank you note, wedding invite, grad announcement, etc. we had ever sent her. I’m not an emotional person, but I was sobbing while going through the box and it was especially fun to see all of the handmade cards, letters, and thank you notes my son sent her over the years. What an absolute treasure and how special that she saved all of them.

Edited June 3 by Frances