Renaming this Philmont Report (formerly Commiserate or something)

[lauraw4321]

I am extremely stressed about a Scouting adventure I'm going on in about 6 weeks. It's a 12 day backpacking trek, covering 88 miles in New Mexico (at 6,000 feet above sea level altitude) with over 3,000 feet of altitude gains. Several days have 10-12 mile hikes a day. My pack will weigh somewhere between 35-50 pounds. I'm doing this so that my oldest daughter and 2 other female scouts can go on this trip. There's a requirement that there be at least one woman on the trip.

To qualify, I had to lose 20 pounds. I've paid $$$ for GLP-1s and lost almost 30 pounds. I've paid thousands of dollars. I've trained. I've purchased expensive gear. I'll be unreachable for 13 days. That is the longest I've disconnected since becoming an attorney. 

My oldest has barely trained. We went on a hike this weekend because I insisted. It wasn't tough for me at all. She whined a ton and said she thought she was getting a migraine. We did 3 miles. That's the length of our shortest day.

I've trained a lot, but I'm scared it's not enough. We still don't have all of our gear. Even though I'm fairly certain my doctor will clear me, I'm terrified that I'll end up not being allowed to go by my doctor. Or I'll somehow manage to regain too much weight on the drive out there (yes, we are driving and camping out there - the entire trip is 21 days) and not be allowed on the trail. That's happened - you get there and they weigh you. If you're over the limit, you can't go. And I'm the only adult woman going. So that means that the other 3 female scouts probably can't go either unless they can beg a staff member to go with them. 

I'm worried that my oldest is going to be the weakest link. I'm worried that I'll be the weakest link. I'm worried that I'll break something or get sick. Or be so exhausted that I can't do it. Or get struck by lightening. Or having to help my oldest so much that I end up having to take on extra weight, to try to help her. I'm scared she's going to have to leave the trail because of migraines. 

This will be my only vacation this year because I have to take so much time off of work. It's a source of constant background stress. 

I just needed to type all of that out.

Edited June 19 by lauraw4321

[pinball]

I see so much love and courage in everything you wrote!

I really admire you!

It seems like you’ve done what you could and most of the worries are out of your control. 

I want to be an encouragement and not clutter this up with advice you might not want or need.

 

[scholastica]

Philmont! My dh and ds did it back in 2014. You will be fine. Your daughter will likely also be fine. It was challenging at times and there are always misadventures.  The staff is highly trained and will keep your group safe. Their group was late getting to their next checkpoint once and when they arrived, staff were already searching for them. It boosted my ds’s confidence and they made some great memories. Best of luck. 

[Catwoman]

Honestly, @lauraw4321, I think you're pretty amazing, and you have clearly gone above and beyond to try to make this work. 

I know you're stressed and I don't blame you a bit, but don't forget to give your self credit and be proud of everything you have done!

[Rosie_0801]

Eh, kids complain to their mums and show off to their mates.

If you're gonna get struck by lightening, make sure you're over half way so the girls have to finish the hike to get you down. 😄

Mostly what scouts need is someone making sure they eat enough, drink enough, reapply their sunscreen and yes, you will wear your hat because we don't want to carry you down if you give yourself sunstroke. Normal stuff.

[Indigo Blue]

Thats’s so bada$$, Laura. I sincerely am pulling for you! Terrific mom. 

[lauraw4321]

39 minutes ago, pinball said:

I see so much love and courage in everything you wrote!

I really admire you!

It seems like you’ve done what you could and most of the worries are out of your control. 

I want to be an encouragement and not clutter this up with advice you might not want or need.

 

This made me tear up. Thank you.

[lauraw4321]

38 minutes ago, scholastica said:

Philmont! My dh and ds did it back in 2014. You will be fine. Your daughter will likely also be fine. It was challenging at times and there are always misadventures.  The staff is highly trained and will keep your group safe. Their group was late getting to their next checkpoint once and when they arrived, staff were already searching for them. It boosted my ds’s confidence and they made some great memories. Best of luck. 

This also boosts my confidence. Thank you!

[lauraw4321]

37 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

Honestly, @lauraw4321, I think you're pretty amazing, and you have clearly gone above and beyond to try to make this work. 

I know you're stressed and I don't blame you a bit, but don't forget to give your self credit and be proud of everything you have done!

Thank you!

[lauraw4321]

36 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Eh, kids complain to their mums and show off to their mates.

If you're gonna get struck by lightening, make sure you're over half way so the girls have to finish the hike to get you down. 😄

Mostly what scouts need is someone making sure they eat enough, drink enough, reapply their sunscreen and yes, you will wear your hat because we don't want to carry you down if you give yourself sunstroke. Normal stuff.

Thank you, Rosie. I hope you are right about all of this. Thank you.

[KSera]

I am massively impressed at the effort you put forth so that these girls can go on this trip! That’s truly inspiring. I like what Rosie said about making sure they’re at least halfway 😂. 

[City Mouse]

It will be okay. 
 

unofficially, there is usually a bit of stretch allowed with the height/weight limit as long as you are not near the maximum limit. I do know that the max is a hard and fast rule due to the limitations of air evacuations. The kids will be fine, and even if there are minor injuries, Philmont knows how to handle most everything.  Lots of kids, and adults come with very little preparation, so you are already ahead of the game. There is a system in place to handle participants who have injuries that require just a couple of days off the trail then can rejoin their group at the next stop. 

[lauraw4321]

4 minutes ago, City Mouse said:

It will be okay. 
 

unofficially, there is usually a bit of stretch allowed with the height/weight limit as long as you are not near the maximum limit. I do know that the max is a hard and fast rule due to the limitations of air evacuations. The kids will be fine, and even if there are minor injuries, Philmont knows how to handle most everything.  Lots of kids, and adults come with very little preparation, so you are already ahead of the game. There is a system in place to handle participants who have injuries that require just a couple of days off the trail then can rejoin their group at the next stop. 

I'm not near max weight. I'm right at 179 and my weight/height (depending on whether they give me credit for the 3/4 inches) is 187 or 193. It makes me nervous.

[Toocrazy!!]

Wow! You are inspiring. I get ALL the nerves and can relate to everything you said, but my gosh, what an amazing commitment of courage and love to get those girls on this trip! 
I have a feeling it will be worth everything you’ve done and more once you finish, and I hope you’ll come back here and post about it. 

[EKS]

I am really impressed!  I completely understand being stressed about it.  I would be too!  But I suspect that you will end up being happy you did it.

[ScoutTN]

You are doing great! I love that you have put in so very much so the girls can go! You are a rock star. It will be fine. Enjoy the adventure!!

[Scarlett]

Add me to everyone saying how amazing you are to be doing this for your daughter.  You can do it and you will be so proud of yourself and your daughter when it is done!

[Arcadia]

3 hours ago, lauraw4321 said:

(at 6,000 feet above sea level altitude) with over 3,000 feet of altitude gains

As a former girl scout, I would say train for the elevation. With that altitude gain, I would have stuffy nose and ears and would need to force a sneeze to clear my airways.

https://www.philmontscoutranch.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Issue-7.pdf   Page 2

"While it’s not proven, the different routes to Baldy Mountain may have an effect on altitude sickness. The south route has a more direct ascension over a shorter distance, while the northern route has a longer, less direct ascension. When gaining elevation quickly the body doesn’t have as much time to adapt, potentially causing altitude sickness.
So, how do we prevent altitude sickness?
A Scout is always prepared, and this goes a long way with AMS. Whether coming from sea level or the mountains, it’s best to drink a liter of water for every hour of hiking and eat the provided trail meals. Know your body. If you start feeling lightheaded, dizzy, or even a minor headache, take note of it and track it. Stop and take breaks as needed. In order to maximize your experience in Philmont and the Backcountry, make sure that you take care of yourself and prepare for the adventure awaiting."

Edited May 15 by Arcadia
formatting

[mommyoffive]

Ok you win mom of the year award!!!   You have done a ton to make this an option for your dd.  Amazing.  Seriously.  Your dd still has 6 weeks to train and that is a long time.  I would say keep getting her out there and have her work in that time.  

I would try to stop worrying about all the what ifs.  They are true for any trip.  Any little thing (or big) can bring the whole trip to a halt.  I am sending all the positive thoughts your way and hope you have an amazing adventure with your dd.  And that some day she sees how much you put into it and thanks you for everything.  I hope you make amazing memories out there!!  Have fun.

[Harriet Vane]

Your training and preparation is spot on, and I am sooooo very, very impressed with you. This is a labor of love for your daughter. Your stress is understandable. Keep reassuring yourself that it's all going to be okay. You will be able to formulate solutions in the moment for any hiccups. And the most likely is that you will have a good trip and lifelong memories.

[Kassia]

I am just stunned at how much you have put yourself through for this.  I'd be really stressed too, but just keep in mind how much you have accomplished to get to this point - it takes so much mental and physical toughness and bravery!  You can do this!  I hope it's a wonderful trip for everyone.  

[QueenCat]

Philmont!!! You will do great!!! Dh always wanted to do Philmont. He did do Seabase with our boys & troops, which was also amazing.

 

YOu've got this!!!

[Ali in OR]

Our family vacations when I was a kid were week-long backpacking trips in the Sierras. Don't worry too much about your dd's training--she's a kid. We never trained but we did 10 mile mostly uphill days going in and at higher elevations in the Sierras. And yeah we complained, but that's also part of the fun of it. She may complain a lot but she will appreciate having done it the rest of her life. And what an amazing experience in this era to unplug for 12 days. I hope you find the whole experience restorative in ways you can't even imagine yet. (And yes, getting back to civilization is also fabulous and a major motivator that makes the hike out a lot easier!)

[JennyD]

11 hours ago, mommyoffive said:

Ok you win mom of the year award!!! 

Boy, do you ever!   Joining the chorus of everyone here so impressed by what you're doing.  

 

[lauraw4321]

18 minutes ago, JennyD said:

Boy, do you ever!   Joining the chorus of everyone here so impressed by what you're doing.  

 

I think some part of the stress is that no one IRL really recognizes/understands the amount of stress/time/work/worry/$$$ I've poured into this (especially not DD). Which, of course they don't. But it does help to have some validation from my Hive friends on the internet. Really, it does help.

[Arcadia]

@lauraw4321 I’m sure your daughter can understand the effort to losing weight to meet the weight cutoff at her age. Also some people are just not verbal with their appreciation, they let you know in other ways. 

[JennyD]

33 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

especially not DD

Yeah, you might have to wait a decade or two until it finally dawns on her just how much you put into making this experience possible for her.  But believe me, all of us here in Middle-Aged Mom Land get it.

Have a great time! 

 

 

[ScoutTN]

We want to hear about your adventures when you get back! 

[mommyoffive]

3 hours ago, lauraw4321 said:

I think some part of the stress is that no one IRL really recognizes/understands the amount of stress/time/work/worry/$$$ I've poured into this (especially not DD). Which, of course they don't. But it does help to have some validation from my Hive friends on the internet. Really, it does help.

Yeah I don't think my kids get the weight of what I do for them all the way yet either. I think when they reach their 30s or so all that will hit them.  They say thanks but hey they are kids.  And maybe other people don't get it because they haven't done it.  They don't know what it is like to lose weight or go on a 12 day backing trip, so they really can't get it.   

[Kalypso]

As everyone has said before me, you are an awesome mom for doing this. Your dd and you are going to have so many wonderful memories from this trip. Best of luck with everything! 

[DawnM]

Wow!   Good for you!  I made my husband go!   

Some of the moms went, but not me.   And all had a good time with lots of stories to tell when they returned.

[katilac]

🏅🏅🏅

You get ALL the shiny medals! 

If I were doing all that, I would absolutely be requiring my kid to commit to a training schedule. Multiple hikes might not be possible every week, but multiple walks are. If she's going to tend to a migraine nearly every time, the sooner she knows that, the better. 

[Garga]

1 hour ago, katilac said:

🏅🏅🏅

You get ALL the shiny medals! 

If I were doing all that, I would absolutely be requiring my kid to commit to a training schedule. Multiple hikes might not be possible every week, but multiple walks are. If she's going to tend to a migraine nearly every time, the sooner she knows that, the better. 

That’s what I’d want to know—if she’s going to get a migraine whenever she walks, she can’t go. 

[lauraw4321]

In case anyone is interested, this is our trek. Oldest DD has been doing great with training since this rant and no signs of migraines. I am going to be asking our doc about better RX for her since her sumatriptan seems to not be working. 
 

She also told me that she’s been scared about having an unknown heart problem because our dog recently died due to an undiscovered heart problem. Which made me feel bad for being upset with her. She’s a good kid and she’s going to do well. I was recently reminded how much scouts has done for her. She went from having near panic attacks having to send an email to now being SPL of her troop and sending weekly well-drafted informative emails weekly without any reminders or help from me. She’s my pretty bad ADHD kid. Some days I can see the successful adult she will be. Some days she is reminds me of a toddler. But the adult days are more frequent than the toddler. 

[lauraw4321]

Updates. We leave in 11 days, on my oldest’s 16th birthday. I thought I’d finally bought everything when I remembered the “popping poncho”. It’s a poncho to wear over the open air toilets for some privacy. Then I remembered that the rubber tips came off my oldest’s poles. 
 

I feel like I’ll never have everything. But e have a crew so if we forget something, chances are someone will have something to borrow. And at the end of the day you can live without most things. 
 

As I mentioned in the other thread, I stopped taking the GLP-1 because I was struggling with stomach issues. I’m so paranoid about gaining weight. I’ve gained 2 pounds. I’m 15 pounds under the max weight for my height. I think it’s approaching an impossibility to gain too much but that doesn’t stop the anxiety!!!

I’m doing a mini virtual Philmont right now. I’m sleeping on my floor with my sleep system. Using the watch I’m taking with me as an alarm (instead of my phone since its not going). Getting up, packing up, taking my 30 pound pack for a 3 mile walk, all before 8 am. I’m drinking an energy drink that I’ve decided to take instead of coffee to make sure I don’t get caffeine withdrawal and that it doesn’t make me nauseous. so far so good!

Edited June 19 by lauraw4321
Typo

[Jaybee]

I'm so impressed! You go, girl!! I hope you have a wonderful time.

[Spryte]

You are my hero!! Go have a wonderful time!

That area is such a beautiful, magical area. Soak it in!

[Toocrazy!!]

You are amazing! Your preparation will surely pay off. It’s going to be an amazing experience. 

[Wishes]

Wow! You are crushing it!

[mommyoffive]

Oh wow, you are so dedicated.  You are going to do great when you get there!

[Shelydon]

2 hours ago, lauraw4321 said:

Updates. We leave in 11 days, on my oldest’s 16th birthday. I thought I’d finally bought everything when I remembered the “popping poncho”. It’s a poncho to wear over the open air toilets for some privacy. Then I remembered that the rubber tips came off my oldest’s poles. 
 

I feel like I’ll never have everything. But e have a crew so if we forget something, chances are someone will have something to borrow. And at the end of the day you can live without most things. 
 

As I mentioned in the other thread, I stopped taking the GLP-1 because I was struggling with stomach issues. I’m so paranoid about gaining weight. I’ve gained 2 pounds. I’m 15 pounds under the max weight for my height. I think it’s approaching an impossibility to gain too much but that doesn’t stop the anxiety!!!

I’m doing a mini virtual Philmont right now. I’m sleeping on my floor with my sleep system. Using the watch I’m taking with me as an alarm (instead of my phone since its not going). Getting up, packing up, taking my 30 pound pack for a 3 mile walk, all before 8 am. I’m drinking an energy drink that I’ve decided to take instead of coffee to make sure I don’t get caffeine withdrawal and that it doesn’t make me nauseous. so far so good!

This is SO impressive! You're going to do great!

[Harriet Vane]

You go girl!!!

[ScoutTN]

Way to go! You rock!

[dirty ethel rackham]

I am so impressed with your progress and dedication!  You go, girl!

[Chris in VA]

My daughter is staffing Goshen in VA this summer, so I feel a tiny connection to your story, and am so happy to hear your update! You are going to have a marvelous time and make a life-long memory!

[Jaybee]

Can't wait to hear how it goes. I hope you have a fantastic experience, with some lovely bonding with your daughter included. She may or may not appreciate what you have done now, but I bet it will be an experience she looks back on in the future with gratitude for what you have put into this.

[lauraw4321]

Will post more soon, but this is on Schaefer's Peak this morning. 88 miles of trails, over 150 miles total, 11 days in backcountry. Conquered Baldy. Hurting everywhere but so glad I did it. 
 

Photo deleted for privacy. 

 

Edited July 14 by lauraw4321

[Jaybee]

Congratulations!! Wow, what an accomplishment and a trip to remember!

[Catwoman]

Yay for you and your dd! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

[Toocrazy!!]

Yay!! 🎉🎉 way to go!!