A Vent: No Wind

[SHP]

Soo someone bought something that goes outside. Its so ugly I tried to get a picture but my camera broke. I grimaced and placed it outside in an area that is windy and blows everything I want to keep off our property, through the neighborhood, out to the highway and a few states away. Yesterday, for example, I spent more time than I care to admit chasing a wanted item down that wasn't directly in that area and still got caught up.

I am beyond frustrated that this thing hasn't moved even an inch and I miss the days before cameras everywhere, I would play the part of the wind and help it along, with a baseball bat, or an ax I reclaimed from a teen bedroom.   

[klmama]

Wow, you really don't like it!  Maybe tomorrow it will be windier.  Or if the item turns out to be impervious to wind, maybe you can find a spot where you won't notice it as much.  Regardless, I hope you can find some peace about it.

[Katy]

May the wind blowing through my yard today stop and blow through yours instead.

[Miss Tick]

Oh, the fickle, fickle winds. Hopefully Aeolus looks your way tomorrow.

[Indigo Blue]

I am really curious what the ugly thing looks like….

👀

[SHP]

3 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I am really curious what the ugly thing looks like….

👀

I will attempt a sketch later

[GoVanGogh]

I feel your pain. My DH bought me a statue for my beloved garden many years ago. It is concrete. And built to last. It is so not my style. At all. And no amount of wind could ever blow it away. 

[SHP]

8 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I am really curious what the ugly thing looks like….

👀

Ok so I spent time this evening working on a sketch of the item (the brown thing) and where I have put it in an attempt to catch maximum wind. Yes, I added wheels. 

I was not accepted to art school. 

[chocolate-chip chooky]

@SHP

This thread is fabulous.  I'm so glad you're finding humour in your situation.

Any hints on what the ugly wheeled brown thing is?

[SHP]

Plot twist: I showed my husband my drawing and mentioned that I couldn't figure out how it is still there. Turns out he has been putting bricks/small rocks in front of the wheels. In my disgust at the item I didn't pay attention. I had been working under the assumption that he heard my plotting and understood that it wasn't a harmless rant, but an actual plot to rid the world of the thing.

The marriage survived. I will be paying closer attention to it and the weather in the future to ensure that it is not obstructed when it is windy. 

I will be texting the offspring and making sure they know no one is to mess with the thing, including cleaning and helping keep it safe. This will probably be interpreted as "protect the thing at all costs" because that is how things seem to work here. 

[Katy]

I think you should consider taking up sleepwalking temporarily. Then sleepwalking it into an opaque black trash bag, into a trash bin, and then give up sleepwalking cold turkey, ever to forget that it didn’t blow away. 

Or perhaps ask your DH to take up sleepwalking for you.