Interstate driver types and my conundrum

[Indigo Blue]

Which driver type are you?
 

1) I avoid the interstate

2) I tend to drive in the right hand lane and drive with the flow of traffic on the interstate. I keep a good long distance between me and the car in front of me. I pass only when necessary and return to the right lane. 
 

3) I drive a bit faster than the flow of traffic, weaving in and out changing lanes as needed in order to keep my speed, which is generally faster than the flow of traffic, constant. This means passing large trucks every few minutes, returning to the right lane, and lather  rinse repeat for the entirety of the drive. I may drive a bit close to other cars when necessary or just for no discernible reason. 
 

4) I drive like a maniac. Aggressive, tailgating, maniac. Weaving in and out, cutting off all the cars and trying to be the first one. Even when things are a bit gridlocked and there is nowhere to go, I eat the bumper of the car in front of me as if, by so doing, it will make that car sprout wings and lift into the heavens and out of my way, and so on and so forth with each car who dares to drive on the road and in front of me. 
 

I am a two. Dh is a three. He knows that it really makes me feel panicked to ride close to other cars. On our long distance trip (13 hours), I noticed I was very tensed up afterward. Passing the tractor trailer trucks over and over and over just did me in. He finally stopped doing that and changed into a number 2 driver for a bit. My body began to relax, finally. 
 

 

My dilemma:

So, it’s rude to be a backseat driver. So, what is the solution? Just never go on long trips together? (Flying is an option, but, for arguments sake, let’s say that is not a choice right now). 
 

People say not to let your anxiety affect others. Not to be a backseat driver, blah, blah, blah. What about the person who is uncontrollably cringing up at every truck passing/tailgating occurrence? 
 

What to do? I’ve had a gentle conversation, but he doesn’t want to change the way he drives on the interstate. 🛣️ He tries to accommodate, but he eases back into a number 3 from a number 2. When he drives as a number 2, I am 💯 totally fine. When he drives as a number 3, I try to remind him that if he drives back further from the car in front of him and doesn’t ride beside the big trucks, I feel so much better. 
 

I have explained that I realize that backseat driving is annoying, but also that I have a choice to not ride with him, so IF he wants me to go, he should consider what makes me feel nervous on the interstate. Is this reasonable?
 

The big trucks just are so wobbly and moving from side to side, with their wheels coming over the line. And getting too close to the car in front of you….if they stop suddenly or blow a tire……well…it’s not good. 
 

I don’t know if I can be on a trip that long with a number 3 driving style again. It was a lot. Sigh. 

[Kassia]

DH and I are similar to you and your DH.  I just keep telling myself that he has a LOT of driving experience and has never been in an accident.  He's a much better driver than I am, but it still makes me nervous.  The worst is in the snow when I think he should be driving slower and more cautiously.  But I drive like a snail in the snow - there is probably a happy medium somewhere.  

[Katy]

I go no more than 10-11% over the speed limit, which is usually the speed of traffic here. DH & I don’t comment on each others driving and we correct the kids if they comment. He has much faster reflexes than I do but his depth perception is terrible, and he didn’t have much city driving experience as a kid. When we were younger I preferred for me to drive in cities. He’s much better on country roads, ice, and that weird loose-rock gravel that’s common in the Midwest than I am though. And he’s gotten better in cities too. 

[City Mouse]

Offer to drive if you don’t like his driving style. For several years I refused to drive with my mother and let her do the driving when we were together because she was an extremely anxious passenger and slightly less anxious as a driver. 

My DH is a more aggressive driver than I am, but in general we manage pretty well together in the car and enjoy road trips together.

[Arcadia]

The interstate that is a truck route, my husband is rather cautious. “Civilization” is so far away that it is not worth getting hit by another vehicle and the truck drivers can be erratic. The interstates that aren’t predominantly a truck route, my husband is less cautious. I don’t drive and I am his human GPS because the GPS isn’t very accurate and he gets confused. 

[SKL]

I'm a 2, but I used to be a 3.

I changed because my dad pointed out how much more it costs to be a 3.

Maybe this would influence your DH as well.

The costs of being a 3:

• WAY more in gas usage.
• More likely to:
  • Piss other drivers off.
  • Stress your passengers out.
  • Stress yourself out.
  • Make a mistake.
  • Get a ticket
    • See your insurance increase.

There's nothing morally wrong with being a 3 IMO, assuming you're still within 10 miles of the speed limit, keeping sufficient distances etc.  But it's just so much more relaxing to be a 2.

[Indigo Blue]

Also…you can tell a person not to comment on someone’s driving, but ….also….on the other side of that…if there is a car stopping in front of you and you aren’t slowing down, I am not going to remain silent as you plow into the car in front of you. Etiquette be darned, lol. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 minute ago, SKL said:

I'm a 2, but I used to be a 3.

I changed because my dad pointed out how much more it costs to be a 3.

Maybe this would influence your DH as well.

The costs of being a 3:

• WAY more in gas usage.
• More likely to:
  • Piss other drivers off.
  • Stress your passengers out.
  • Stress yourself out.
  • Make a mistake.
  • Get a ticket
    • See your insurance increase.

There's nothing morally wrong with being a 3 IMO, assuming you're still within 10 miles of the speed limit, keeping sufficient distances etc.  But it's just so much more relaxing to be a 2.

Oh, goodness. Thank you. Thank you for saying this. Thank you. 
 

Thanks for saying this!!!!!

Thank you. 🙏🙏

[Pawz4me]

If you're not bothered by motion sickness --

Maybe spend a lot of time reading (book, ebook, mindless phone scrolling), or listening to audiobooks, music or podcasts with headphones/earbuds while keeping your eyes closed? In other words, concentrate on something else and tune out his driving.

I kind of feel like it's impossible to change another person's driving style. It's kind of like changing someone's diet--they have to want to do it, it can't come from someone else.

Edited April 11 by Pawz4me

[Indigo Blue]

3 minutes ago, SKL said:

I'm a 2, but I used to be a 3.

I changed because my dad pointed out how much more it costs to be a 3.

Maybe this would influence your DH as well.

The costs of being a 3:

• WAY more in gas usage.
• More likely to:
  • Piss other drivers off.
  • Stress your passengers out.
  • Stress yourself out.
  • Make a mistake.
  • Get a ticket
    • See your insurance increase.

There's nothing morally wrong with being a 3 IMO, assuming you're still within 10 miles of the speed limit, keeping sufficient distances etc.  But it's just so much more relaxing to be a 2.

And, oddly, our gps eta did not change in all of an hour of driving like a 2. Well, maybe two minutes longer. 

[gardenmom5]

dh is probably a 3 . . . .flirting with 4 . . . .

My highlander actually gets better mileage than his camry, so we take it on road trips.
My highlander has "smart" "automatic" (whatever) cruise control.   We all thought he'd hate it because it would slow down the car if he got too close to the one in front of him.  He actually likes it. It has reduced a lot of that on the open road.

Edited April 11 by gardenmom5

[Indigo Blue]

It also doesn’t help that we have almost had a large truck merge into us once while changing lanes and once had one ACTUALLY merge into us while changing lanes. 
 

And I saw people texting and driving. On the interstate. 
 

[TheReader]

Hmm. 

I am a 2.5 -- that is, I drive with the flow of traffic/slightly faster maybe, but I get to the "2nd to left" lane and stay there where I can minimize my weaving, changing lanes, passing, etc. In the course of my driving, I am very much a 2, just minus the "stay in the right lane" part.  That might be due to where I live (houston-ish) and the fact our interstates are a million miles wide, and each lane has it's *own* "flow of traffic" speed that's expected (and the right lane is pretty much all the people that drive exactly the speed limit, or maybe 5 over). (which is too slow). 

My DH is a 3 in style of driving, but also w/o the "return to the right lane" (b/c again, too slow over there).  Some things that we have done to help us both accommodate each other: 

-I cannot control my automatic reactions, so I don't try, BUT he feels very torn down if I speak up, so I no longer do. 

-I did realize, after a few months of this arrangement (the me not speaking up), that part of my fears/reactions are 1 - his car is much lower to the ground than mine (he has a car, I drive a mini-van), so it *feels* more claustrophobic, more risky, and faster than it actually is & in comparison to my car; when he drives my car, I don't get quite as panicky on the passing. 2 - his car reacts faster than mine/isn't as heavy, so "late" braking in his car (what would be late in my van) is actually fine, and needn't cause a reaction in me. 

-I ask him to let me pick the music on long drives, and so I pick things that calm me and distract me. If I can pay more attention to the music, less to the driving, and also we engage in interesting conversation, then I am able to relax and not stay hyper focused on his driving. 

-I remind myself of a few things: in the rain, in a bad storm, in terrible weather, or in very crowded freeway/interstate conditions -- I would absolutely prefer him driving. No, he does not drive the way that I do. Yes, I am a competent driver. But also yes, I absolutely feel safer in "scary" settings with him behind the wheel.  I remind myself of that, and remind myself that it's perhaps his style of driving which makes him the safer driver in those scary situations; I look at his accident record (none that have ever been remotely his fault, and 2 total only in the entirety of his driving), his ticket record (none in the US), etc. and remind myself - the bad things I fear will happen, most likely won't. 

-If we are on a long trip, and he is doing one thing over and over (like with the semis), I will speak up then and ask him "I know you are a great driver, but I get very nervous when.....because.....so even though I know it's not as dangerous as it feels to me, would you mind not doing .....? It just stresses me out, and I don't want to take it out on you...."  He generally agrees, particularly when I make sure to word it in a way that lets him know it's a "me" thing and not a "him" thing. 

Hugs to you! I hope you find a solution!

[EKS]

I'm a two.  My husband used to be a three but since he's gotten older he has become more and more two like.  Thank goodness.

[marbel]

59 minutes ago, Kassia said:

DH and I are similar to you and your DH.  I just keep telling myself that he has a LOT of driving experience and has never been in an accident.  He's a much better driver than I am, but it still makes me nervous.  The worst is in the snow when I think he should be driving slower and more cautiously.  But I drive like a snail in the snow - there is probably a happy medium somewhere.  

This is pretty much exactly me/my husband - but he's probably between 2 and 3. He isn't too much of a weaver. Still, I hate the way he drives, but he has never had an accident and maybe never a ticket either. I've also never had an accident, but had quite a few tickets back in my deep dark past. 

If I'm really bothered, I just tell him I'd like to drive. He's probably equally fussed by my driving as I am by his. 

I get a little bit carsick but I can scroll instagram and/or look at google maps on my phone without trouble. I try to have a task - such as, find a good coffee place or whatever - to keep me occupied. 

I remember that as many things as he does that annoy me, I do at least as many to annoy him. (Not just driving, but anything.) Yes of course driving is a safety issue, but I am not sure I can be objective to be certain that I am safer than he is. 

ETA: Do you have a defensive driving course near you? You could sign up for lessons - the both of you. Present it as a good thing to do as "we" get older. 

Edited April 11 by marbel

[wendyroo]

9 minutes ago, TheReader said:

Hmm. 

I am a 2.5 -- that is, I drive with the flow of traffic/slightly faster maybe, but I get to the "2nd to left" lane and stay there where I can minimize my weaving, changing lanes, passing, etc. In the course of my driving, I am very much a 2, just minus the "stay in the right lane" part.  

This is where I am.

Around here, most highways have 3 lanes, and the right lane is primarily for large trucks and for cars entering and exiting who are traveling a bit below the speed limit. I spend most of my time in the middle lane, driving 5-10 over the limit, but I don't hesitate to safely switch to the left lane (leaving plenty of following space) to pass around slower drivers or if that lane is a better match for my speed. I feel it is safest when everyone tries to match their speed to the traffic flow in their lane, so if I decide to move to the left lane to pass a slow driver in the middle lane, then I will increase my speed a bit when I move left so that drivers behind me don't have to abruptly slow down.

I will say that not driving too close to other cars can be a bit of a luxury. Here in suburbia where I do most of my traveling mid-day, I can always wait for large openings in traffic. When I used to commute around Boston during rush hours - forget about it - sometimes you had to start changing lanes when it didn't appear there was any space, much less enough.

[Beth S]

Yep.  My dh was a 4 until he rolled his car on the way to work (35 years ago), successfully avoiding a car that pulled out of a side road.  The guy he would have T-boned had recently lost his daughter in a car accident.

He instantly became a 2.5.

Totally agreeing that he is a great driver, & I've just learned to (silently) hold onto the car door handle to brace myself as needed.

Edited April 11 by Beth S

[athena1277]

I’m a 3, but without the getting too close part.  Most of the interstates where I travel are 70mph.  If I stayed in the left lane, I would be goin 65 or less.  I set my cruise about 75 and try not to have to take it off, so passing people is necessary, especially when there’s only 2 lanes.  Seriously though, there are places I have driven where driving under the speed limit is a good way to get rear ended.  Driving 10 or more miles under the speed limit can be just as dangerous in some places as speeding.

[wathe]

2.   Steady speed in the right lane, on the slow side, but with the flow of traffic, passing when necessary.   I try to find the balance between not speeding and not being the cause of turbulent traffic flow.

Husband has evolved from 3 to 2.   He knows that I regularly deal with injured people from MVC's (ranging from minor to dead) at work, and respects that.

[Terabith]

I’m probably a 2.5. In the city, I am a “pretty close to the speed limit” driver but on the interstate, I go 5-7 miles (and occasionally up to ten if passing) over the speed limit. I try hard to both maintain lots of space between me and other vehicles and also to minimize changing lanes. 
 

My husband doesn’t like driving on interstates or highways at all, but on long trips he’s recently started being able to drive some, if he takes medication.  But I honestly prefer to do most of the driving because he keeps driving SO SLOWLY.  I pointed out at one point on our trip (when not in bumper to bumper traffic dictating low speeds) that he was 15-20 miles below the speed limit and that that might not really be safe.  But I try hard not to critique his driving. 

[QueenCat]

I'm a 2. If there are 3 lanes, I'm in the middle for most of the drive. Dh is a 2.5. If it's longer than 30 minutes, I'm probably reading & ignoring the drive.

[Kassia]

17 minutes ago, QueenCat said:

 If it's longer than 30 minutes, I'm probably reading & ignoring the drive.

I'm asleep at that point.  I can't sleep at home, but as soon as I'm in the car I'm ready for a nap.  And a snack.  I joke with DH that I'm like a toddler because all I do on long drives is eat and sleep.  

[SanDiegoMom]

I'm a 2.5   I drive 5-7 miles over, sometimes more if it's pretty open, but I hate getting close to other cars so I always give multiple car lengths.  My husband is a 3, and I do sometimes get nervous.  But he can handle a lot more input than I, has great reflexes, doesn't text and drive, never gets mad or aggressive, and has been in a LOT of life or death situations before... so I try to give him a pass.  If I'm really anxious I will ask him to drive more slowly, but usually I put my airpods in and listen to a podcast while playing 2048 on my phone. 

[Corraleno]

I'm a 1 at heart because I really hate freeway driving in the city — there's always tons of construction and merging and forced lane changes at high speed, plus a lot of bottlenecks where everyone's going 65 mph and then suddenly traffic drops to a crawl. Any time I have the option to take surface streets without a huge delay, I will.

If surface streets are not an option, then I'm a solid 2 for freeway driving in the city. I will stay in the right lane unless it's exit-only or I need to be in another lane because the road splits or merges. The right lane generally runs below the speed limit, which is fine by me, and I always always leave plenty of space in front of me.

On an actual interstate outside of the city, with light traffic, I'm a 2.5 in the sense that I will often go faster than the posted limit (like 65 instead of 55), and will sometimes ride the center or left lane if traffic is light enough, so I don't have to keep passing slow trucks.

My ex was a 3.5, with the added fear factor of unmedicated ADHD, so I almost always insisted on driving if we needed to take the freeway. He had too many near misses! DS is the polar opposite — he's about a 0.5, lol. His experiences with his dad's driving made him really paranoid about the impact of his own ADHD on driving, and he finds the amount of intense focus and concentration needed for freeway driving, where everyone is driving fast and weaving in and out, stressful and exhausting. DD is a 3.5 like her dad, minus the ADHD —  the way she weaves in and out of traffic and tailgates makes me NUTS, and any time I'm stuck riding with her I end up constantly grabbing the door handle and stepping on an invisible brake!

 

[Corraleno]

4 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I have explained that I realize that backseat driving is annoying, but also that I have a choice to not ride with him, so IF he wants me to go, he should consider what makes me feel nervous on the interstate. Is this reasonable?

The big trucks just are so wobbly and moving from side to side, with their wheels coming over the line. And getting too close to the car in front of you….if they stop suddenly or blow a tire……well…it’s not good. 

I don’t know if I can be on a trip that long with a number 3 driving style again. It was a lot. Sigh. 

It's absolutely reasonable to request that a driver with a passenger not drive in a way that makes the passenger extremely uncomfortable. He can drive however he likes when he's alone, but knowingly driving in a way that makes you feel so uncomfortable you don't even want to ride with him anymore is rude and inconsiderate.

It really doesn't matter how good of a driver someone is (or thinks they are), because other people are nuts! And the basic laws of physics apply to everyone. Any time I get behind the wheel I assume that there are going to be crazy people doing stupid things, and I try to drive in a way that will minimize the consequences if one of those stupid things ends up impacting me.

[kbutton]

3 hours ago, wendyroo said:

This is where I am.

Around here, most highways have 3 lanes, and the right lane is primarily for large trucks and for cars entering and exiting who are traveling a bit below the speed limit. I spend most of my time in the middle lane, driving 5-10 over the limit, but I don't hesitate to safely switch to the left lane (leaving plenty of following space) to pass around slower drivers or if that lane is a better match for my speed. I feel it is safest when everyone tries to match their speed to the traffic flow in their lane, so if I decide to move to the left lane to pass a slow driver in the middle lane, then I will increase my speed a bit when I move left so that drivers behind me don't have to abruptly slow down.

I will say that not driving too close to other cars can be a bit of a luxury. Here in suburbia where I do most of my traveling mid-day, I can always wait for large openings in traffic. When I used to commute around Boston during rush hours - forget about it - sometimes you had to start changing lanes when it didn't appear there was any space, much less enough.

This is closest to how I drive. Our closest interstate has many lanes even though we are in suburbia. It’s a major artery for this section of the country and takes massive amounts of local traffic.

My ability to be this consistent tends to be impeded by nonsensical local traffic and/or really unsafe people. If I shift left, and I am going faster than the lane I left, I’m good. People doing 85 and 90 (and more) need to figure out that this is not the autobahn.

My biggest strategy is to not have to move over multiple lanes close to an exit and to not get boxed in by trucks where I can’t see. And thirdly to avoid people who refuse to use cruise control and/or whose cruise control clearly has a massively different range of tolerance than my own.

I try not to drive in cities much.

I’m a pretty bland driver most of the time, but if I can’t use cruise, I get irritable and try to get around the pocket of nonsense traffic that snarls around inconsistent drivers. 

[wathe]

14 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

It really doesn't matter how good of a driver someone is (or thinks they are), because other people are nuts! And the basic laws of physics apply to everyone. Any time I get behind the wheel I assume that there are going to be crazy people doing stupid things, and I try to drive in a way that will minimize the consequences if one of those stupid things ends up impacting me.

Indeed.

[Rosie_0801]

4 hours ago, marbel said:

ETA: Do you have a defensive driving course near you? You could sign up for lessons - the both of you. Present it as a good thing to do as "we" get older. 

This^ 
Stopping distance is much further away than one would think and a course like this will demonstrate.

[Kuovonne]

Sleeping

Audiobooks with eyes closed

Suggesting the driver use cruise control

Long-standing driving habits are hard to change, even if the person is interested in changing. 

[TechWife]

I don’t fit on either of your descriptions. Speed wise I’m usually with the flow of traffic, sometimes a tad slower. I prefer the second lane from the right so I don’t have to worry about merging traffic all of the time. I will change lanes when needed & return to my preferred lane. I despise construction zones and stick to the lane that doesn’t have the cement barriers along side if possible. 

I’m a terrible passenger. Have you tried reading or playing a game on your phone? The latter is what I usually do on the way to church. 

[Indigo Blue]

1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

I'm a 1 at heart because I really hate freeway driving in the city — there's always tons of construction and merging and forced lane changes at high speed, plus a lot of bottlenecks where everyone's going 65 mph and then suddenly traffic drops to a crawl. Any time I have the option to take surface streets without a huge delay, I will.

If surface streets are not an option, then I'm a solid 2 for freeway driving in the city. I will stay in the right lane unless it's exit-only or I need to be in another lane because the road splits or merges. The right lane generally runs below the speed limit, which is fine by me, and I always always leave plenty of space in front of me.

On an actual interstate outside of the city, with light traffic, I'm a 2.5 in the sense that I will often go faster than the posted limit (like 65 instead of 55), and will sometimes ride the center or left lane if traffic is light enough, so I don't have to keep passing slow trucks.

My ex was a 3.5, with the added fear factor of unmedicated ADHD, so I almost always insisted on driving if we needed to take the freeway. He had too many near misses! DS is the polar opposite — he's about a 0.5, lol. His experiences with his dad's driving made him really paranoid about the impact of his own ADHD on driving, and he finds the amount of intense focus and concentration needed for freeway driving, where everyone is driving fast and weaving in and out, stressful and exhausting. DD is a 3.5 like her dad, minus the ADHD —  the way she weaves in and out of traffic and tailgates makes me NUTS, and any time I'm stuck riding with her I end up constantly grabbing the door handle and stepping on an invisible brake!

 

I drive like you. I avoid the interstate. If I have to drive on it, I’m 2 who is careful not to hold up traffic. 
 

And 3.5. Oh, my. I feel you. 

[-----]

nm

Edited May 29 by kathyl

[katilac]

7 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

Also…you can tell a person not to comment on someone’s driving, but ….also….on the other side of that…if there is a car stopping in front of you and you aren’t slowing down, I am not going to remain silent as you plow into the car in front of you. Etiquette be darned, lol. 

Does it aggravate your dh if you give warnings every now and again? If he's okay-ish with it, I'd just do it, marital partners get to create their own etiquette, lol. I think my dh just knows that life is easier if he lets me warn him about the blue car that's drifting out of its lane. 

Does the car have any driver assistance features like lane keeping assist, brake alert, road departure warning? If it doesn't, it's something you should seriously consider when buying the next car. It might make you feel better if the car tells him to brake, lol. Or go all out and get a Tesla with autopilot! Our last Uber driver had one and used it on the Florida interstate, it was amazing and I was extremely jealous. Lane changes, braking, everything was very smooth. 

 

6 hours ago, wendyroo said:

 I will say that not driving too close to other cars can be a bit of a luxury. 

Yep. On many interstates, an attempt to leave a lot of distance will just result in cars quickly passing you and filling that distance, if you're even able to create a lot of distance to begin with. 

2 hours ago, Corraleno said:

It's absolutely reasonable to request that a driver with a passenger not drive in a way that makes the passenger extremely uncomfortable. He can drive however he likes when he's alone, but knowingly driving in a way that makes you feel so uncomfortable you don't even want to ride with him anymore is rude and inconsiderate.

I think it's really hard to change your driving style, though. For speeding, you can set cruise control, but the best time to change lanes is very subjective. 

[Elizabeth86]

I avoid the interstate always. Give me curvy mountain roads any day.

Oh and I do 2, but mostly make some one else drive.

Edited April 12 by Elizabeth86

[annandatje]

I do not avoid the expressways since they typically are fastest routes for longer distances.
 

I am a 3 out of necessity in my city which has large amount of aggressive drivers.  National statistics back up my statement. 
 

When I am in different areas such as PNW where drivers are generally reasonable , I try to remember to revert back to type 2 driving.  If I don’t, the PNW drivers will remind me 😃.

Edited April 12 by annandatje

[YaelAldrich]

I'm short of being a 3 because I am an aggressive-ish driver, drive on the interstate usually between 70-80mph. BUT I am pretty obsessive about keeping a good amount of distance between me and the next driver. In fact more aggressive drivers take advantage of that trait and get in the hole. I do live in Boston, where aggressive driving is the norm. I can revert (more or less) to my Southern driving roots. I've never had an accident that I have caused. I don't like cruise control much. I prefer to control and drive according to the traffic. 

I took a defensive driving course with my daughter and the instructors asked me if I wanted to take a job with them! So aggressive yet safe. Lol

[KungFuPanda]

I’m stuck on the traveling in the far right lane. That’s not the place for it. I say switch to traveling in the second-to-right lane and do more of the driving since it’ll be less stressful for you. My DH learned to drive in NYC where it’s apparently illegal to leave decent following distance. I appreciate the assertiveness when we’re in DC or Baltimore but it’s entirely unnecessary on either beltway or the interstate. 
 

My personal pet peeve is people who travel obliviously in the right lane without realizing they should be actively participating in traffic merging.  This is second only to people who drift up to the stoplight once it turns red. 

Edited April 12 by KungFuPanda

[Alice]

On 4/11/2024 at 1:03 PM, Pawz4me said:

If you're not bothered by motion sickness --

Maybe spend a lot of time reading (book, ebook, mindless phone scrolling), or listening to audiobooks, music or podcasts with headphones/earbuds while keeping your eyes closed? In other words, concentrate on something else and tune out his driving.

I kind of feel like it's impossible to change another person's driving style. It's kind of like changing someone's diet--they have to want to do it, it can't come from someone else.

I was going to ask this also. Having two teenage drivers who I've driven with on lots of highways (and on the Beltway/highways around our home in NoVA) this is what I do. (Just to clarify...I don't do this when they are learning to drive but my oldest is now almost 21 and my second is almost 18. I would comment if I thought they were being dangerous or aggressive but I've realized it isn't their driving as much as my anxiety so I'm found it better to address the actual problem which is me rather than them.) 

[Melissa in Australia]

I guess I am 1. I have never driven on a freeway , or in a big city, only country highways

I always keep to the left, but that is what you do in Australia 

[maize]

On 4/11/2024 at 2:40 PM, Terabith said:

I’m probably a 2.5. In the city, I am a “pretty close to the speed limit” driver but on the interstate, I go 5-7 miles (and occasionally up to ten if passing) over the speed limit. I try hard to both maintain lots of space between me and other vehicles and also to minimize changing lanes. 

This is me, though I don't go more than 5mph over the speed limit unless the flow of traffic is over that.  I keep a very respectable following distance. If I'm going faster than right lane traffic I'll often stay in the left lane long enough to pass several cars on the right even if they aren't super close together. If there are more than two lanes in my direction I rarely drive in the rightmost lane. I'm also habituated to driving in the carpool lane when I'm near home, so driving in the leftmost lane is what feels most natural.

[Terabith]

6 minutes ago, maize said:

This is me, though I don't go more than 5mph over the speed limit unless the flow of traffic is over that.  I keep a very respectable following distance. If I'm going faster than right lane traffic I'll often stay in the left lane long enough to pass several cars on the right even if they aren't super close together. If there are more than two lanes in my direction I rarely drive in the rightmost lane. I'm also habituated to driving in the carpool lane when I'm near home, so driving in the leftmost lane is what feels most natural.

It's really hard to maintain adequate following distances on the interstates, though, because when I'm leaving 7 car lengths in front of me, people are constantly nipping into my following distance because they see it as "plenty of room for me."  It drives me crazy.