inashoe Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Just spent the evening with a few PS families. Each family had two unruly kids, screeching in the house, anger, wild behaviour, bad eating habits, back-talking, bad language which the parents didn't think was so bad. I love the times I spend with my homeschool friends, not that there aren't issues, but they are usually minor, and even better many times the kids resolve these themselves, without all the dreadful whining. Some of our friends have very large families, yet the many kids get along tremendously well with all the various age groups interacting and including each other. I had four families totaling 30 kids at my house just the other day, and I have really happy memories of them playing together. I am so thankful for homeschooling, for the positive character I see in all of our kids, and especially the support we get from each other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Me too. But part of it is that I've chosen to surround myself with families who choose to work with their children and not to leave it to the "experts". I have been with homeschool kids (in larger co-op situations where I don't really know the families) who acted just like the ps kids you described. But then the homeschooling parents acted just like the parents of the ps kids you described. I think that for families who work with their kids (and there are public school parents who do this too) it is a bit easier if you homeschool because in that situation you can keep the character training more seamless because you're not changing teachers/authority figures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 There are obnoxious PS kids, and obnoxious homeschooled kids. I don't know all the reasons why, but I also find less of them at the homeschool functions we attend. The one thing I have noticed more than anything else is how well the homeschooled kids I know play with kids of different ages. Could it be because they are not kept segregated by age all day? I know I was so impressed by Laura in VA (who is now in Japan)'s daughter, who is a good 3 years older than my dd, but played so beautifully with her, and is such a nice, nice girl. I honestly can't wait to be able to participate in the homeschool community again. Hopefully next year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dorothy Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 and they were fantastic. After a while I found out they were hsed and had to ask what that was. I really had no idea hsing existed. Then, a second time, I ran into some great kids and they were hsed too. It really got my attention because they were totally normal (fun, a little mischievous) kids but wholesome - they played with each other, liked their families, helped out, did not seem jaded or cynical, and were good conversationalists. I became so interested that a friend gave me a copy of the WTM and my life was literally changed overnight! I began hsing and although I have made lots of mistakes and wondered at times if I was right to choose this I am consistently approached by people who comment that my kids are so wholesome, bright, inquisitive, and kind. That does not mean that they do not bicker, get cranky, behave unkindly, just that their overall behavior is sort of wholesome and old-fashioned. (Don't know if I am using the right descriptors). Well, I thought that this was the way all hs kids behaved, then I joined a coop class. WHOA! The class was filled with rude (talk over the teacher), destructive (break class materials on purpose), obnoxious (innapropriate and unkind comments towards others) hsed kids. Their parents were present and did NOTHING. The teacher kept asking for parents to get their kids to behave during class and one of the parents was actually upset that the teacher was so insistent on discipline. We dropped out of the class. My dc wanted to learn and we couldn't focus because of the constant dealing with the other kids' behavior. It was really embarrasing and I then realized why some people have a negative view of hsers. If I did not meet any hsers except those kids, I would by yapping away about socialization too. (Of course, PS kids have the same issues but the myth exists about hs kids and these kids would have "proved" it!) So, I've learned you can end up with all kind of kids in a hs setting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 The one thing I have noticed more than anything else is how well the homeschooled kids I know play with kids of different ages. Could it be because they are not kept segregated by age all day? I know I was so impressed by Laura in VA (who is now in Japan)'s daughter, who is a good 3 years older than my dd, but played so beautifully with her, and is such a nice, nice girl. This has been what I've been most impressed with too when we've done things with homeschooled kids. And Chris in Va's daughter was one of those very sweet older kids who made my son feel special when we had the luck of going on a few nature walks together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I have to wonder...many of the negative homeschooling kid experiences I hear about seem to take place in a co-op setting. Surprise, the atmosphere that some homeschooling parents use as a kind of, well, school. LOL Not all co-ops are this way, I know, and there are *many* involved and dedicated parents in them. I just notice that homeschoolers who avail themselves of a more traditional type school-ish setting tend to deal with with this kind of behavior more, it seems, whether in the classroom or on field trips. Could just be my observations are faulty, though. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I have to wonder...many of the negative homeschooling kid experiences I hear about seem to take place in a co-op setting. I was thinking about this too but not from exactly the same angle. It sounds like you're saying that parents who are less pro-active in teaching their children good behavior might be more inclined to put their children into a coop, so we'd find more of the bad kids there. I was thinking about my three never-outschooled kids who are well-behaved kids at home but disruptive monsters in a classroom setting. It's actually our kid who did go to public school who knows how to behave himself in a classroom. With the other kids, I have to be there, and pull them out, and threaten their lives and Legos. Even if I carry through with my threats, even if we role play and practice at home, and reiterate the threats of loss of limb and Lego right before class, when they get into it, they promptly lose control of themselves. Maybe, because classrooms are not the right place for kids to be, kids in classrooms act out unless they've had years of training in following classroom protocol. Don't kindergarten teachers always say they can tell which kids have been in preschool because they are the ones who behave? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I have to wonder...many of the negative homeschooling kid experiences I hear about seem to take place in a co-op setting. I think there's a lot of homeschoolers that try to imitate the schools and thus get many of the same results, such as herd/pack behavior. Unfortunately, it appears that many coops are set up to imitate schools. Some even promote this as a good thing. I've never understood why homeschoolers do it.:confused: ETA: I have a couple kids that do horribly in a large classroom type settings too. They just can't take the crowd and constant stimulation? It seems to fry their brains a bit, like too much TV/Wii. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I have also experienced some of what you're talking about with bad behavior in a co-op setting. I've had a couple of thoughts on this subject. One observation is that some parents are extremely strict, so the kids don't ever learn any self-control. Because of this, unless the parents are there, the kids are constantly testing boundaries with the co-op teacher. Another observation I've made, which has already been touched on, is that some parents still have a school mentality. In one large co-op we ran, parents would expect to just be able to drop their kids off. I guess they thought that the few dollars we charged for craft supplies entitled them to do this.:confused: The last time I was in a co-op, I hand selected the families, and we had a wonderful year. That's the only way I'll do co-ops in the future. Sorry to the OP! Your thread got hijacked. I usually really enjoy homeschoolers, too. I think that part of the reason I homeschool is so that my dc will have homeschooled friends. They are usually so much more pleasant to be around. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momsquared Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 Being in PK caused my daughter to act like you described. We of course did something, but it was insane. It made me dislike other peoples' children. Almost all of our friends send their kids to PS or Catholic school and I see a lot of these behaviors. HOWEVER, I am part of an attachment parenting group and all of the kids are schooled differently and all of them are great. It is almost like a little co-op and the kids and parents all know eachother. Everyone tends to parent in a similar manner and I think that makes all the difference. What I have learned being a parent? A lot of parents do not parent like I do. For better or for worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 One observation is that some parents are extremely strict, so the kids don't ever learn any self-control. Because of this, unless the parents are there, the kids are constantly testing boundaries with the co-op teacher. *sigh* as someone who is constantly told she is one of those extremely strict parents (obviously I don't think I am:)).... I beg to differ. Sometimes parents are like that BECAUSE a child is constantly testing boundaries, that's just who that child is. My oldest tests me 24/7. He's a great kid, he's sweet and smart. He's also very independant and if I give an inch he runs for miles. Sometimes I let him run until he hits a wall or falls on his face and sometimes I don't. Testing boundaries is not neccesarily about self-control. Sometimes it's just nothing more than testing boundaries. I'm sure there are cases as you describe. Just saying... Ouch. You don't know my kid or why I parent him the way I do.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 (edited) You don't know my kid or why I parent him the way I do.:) Yes, and when interacting with other people's kids at homeschool park day or at co-ops, we should remember that this is always true of every other parent except those with whom we have close relationships. Edited December 21, 2008 by dragons in the flower bed Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 *sigh*as someone who is constantly told she is one of those extremely strict parents (obviously I don't think I am:)).... I beg to differ. Sometimes parents are like that BECAUSE a child is constantly testing boundaries, that's just who that child is. My oldest tests me 24/7. He's a great kid, he's sweet and smart. He's also very independant and if I give an inch he runs for miles. Sometimes I let him run until he hits a wall or falls on his face and sometimes I don't. Testing boundaries is not neccesarily about self-control. Sometimes it's just nothing more than testing boundaries. I'm sure there are cases as you describe. Just saying... Ouch. You don't know my kid or why I parent him the way I do.:) I'm so sorry, Martha. I feel like an insensitive clod right now.:banghead: You are right. I don't know your child, and I was totally out of line to make that sort of judgment. Please accept my sincere apology, and know that I have learned something from your gentle rebuke. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nova mama Posted December 21, 2008 Share Posted December 21, 2008 I think that many families who homeschool also happen to be very committed to training their children in character, behavior, etc., as well as academics. While I don't dispute the differences everyone has observed between the behavior of home- and public-schooled children, I'd say it has as much to do with the parents' commitment to parenting as it has to do with where the children are educated. As others have pointed out, there are plenty of unruly hs kids and many delightful and sweet ps kids (e.g., my son :001_smile:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 I'm so sorry, Martha. I feel like an insensitive clod right now.:banghead:You are right. I don't know your child, and I was totally out of line to make that sort of judgment. Please accept my sincere apology, and know that I have learned something from your gentle rebuke. Lori nothing to be sorry for at all I'm sure that there's occassion when the example you give is true just wanted to note, that sometimes there's more to things than there appears :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.