I think I made a mistake

[TexasProud]

Just now, KSera said:

Make sure they run ferritin in addition to the other things. For some reason I can’t understand, many doctors leave that off. 

Yeah, that has never been run in any of my bloodwork ( I can see it all online.)

[marbel]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

But yeah moving just for the sake of exercise rather than it having a real purpose, not a fan.

What if you reframed that? Movement for exercise has a "real purpose." 

Look, I'm not pushing for you to take up weights, but I hate doing dumbbell exercise. But it has a definite purpose in it: Keeping my osteopenia from becoming full-on osteoporosis. Helping with my balance and mobility so those don't decline as I age (further). Keeping my knees strong for the hiking I love. 

You feel clumsy? Exercise will help with that. 

I make it as pleasant as possible. I bought specific workout clothes even though I'm home, so I would feel dressed for the activity. I bought colorful weights because they make me happy. I follow some women on Instagram and Youtube so I have a variety of workouts to do. In 6 months I have not seen major results in my clothing or appearance, but my balance and stamina have increased. I've bought new, heavier weights recently because my heaviest pair was getting to be too easy for some things. Do I look forward to it when I wake up? NO! I want to stay in bed and pick up a book to read. I want to drink coffee all morning. Do I feel better when I am done? YES!  (Especially once I've had my coffee! 😉 )

So, yeah, it has a "real purpose."  That is what @regentrude was getting at (I believe, don't mean to speak for  her) when she was talking about gardening. We are just giving you ideas here, something to maybe spark your interest to give it a try. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by marbel

[Clarita]

I've really enjoyed doing adult ballet, when I had the time. I liked that it actually taught me how to be not clumsy and graceful. Unlike other dance I've done they told me exactly where to place my body parts at all times, we also worked on strengthening the muscles necessary to be not clumsy. For a bit of external push I would sing up for the performances, I was really barely a step up from the 4 year-olds but I'm not that self-conscious.

If money is no object. I've really enjoyed my Nordic Track treadmill. It's a treadmill, it can do inclines and declines, the best part of it are the videos. They have guides and trainers that take you to all sorts of exotic places with a goal. With the trainers, I love their exercise philosophy, it's not about pushing yourself to some limit or sweating it out or being dog tired at the end of every exercise session, but it's about doing something and being able to do something everyday. If you follow a series they build in stretching and muscle building on different days along with the walking or running. I hate exercising but the machine can set such a good pace for me that some days I actually look forward to it.

I kind of read @regentrude's comments as just being outside and since you said you'd like a purpose she suggested gardening. I don't like being outside personally, even though I live in a mild climate, but I do admit spending some time outside even doing nothing makes the rest of my day feel better. 

[regentrude]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

But yeah moving just for the sake of exercise rather than it having a real purpose, not a fan.

I am with you there! I find it ridiculous that we have removed all physical activity from daily life and now have to pay money to run on treadmills going nowhere, row on machines to nowhere, and lift useless objects just to build muscle and elevate our heart rate. I refuse to do any of that.
Can you think of any physical motion that has a purpose and would give you pleasure? Hike, bicycle, dance, swim, row, paddle, climb....
 

ETA: Aside from the lack of physical activity, I believe the Western indoor lifestyle is highly detrimental to mental health because we are lacking the intimate connection to the natural world.

Edited July 8, 2023 by regentrude

[Starr]

A friend told me once that I was worried about too many things. She was right. You sound depressed and overwhelmed . That doesn’t mean you aren’t doing great things. Can you pick one thing you would like to do or change and do that. One small thing. And if you are going to crash and burn as you seem to suggest when your husband is away do you have a plan for that? Or just go with him to the place you are content.

[elegantlion]

57 minutes ago, marbel said:

What if you reframed that? Movement for exercise has a "real purpose." 

 

You feel clumsy? Exercise will help with that. 

I

 (picture the I agree smiley) I recently started a belly dancing class - like two weeks ago. I'm 56 and have had 3 major abdominal surgeries and carry all my extra weight in my belly. Not only do I tie a jingly scarf around my belly, we generally wear leggings and a fitted t-shirt, then we stare in a mirror. It plays into all my perceived self-esteem issues around my body. I thought I'd hate that part. It's a bit cringey initially, but then it feels empowering.

The first night I went I slept better than I had in weeks. I can feel very different muscles engaging in my core. 

My purpose is not only better core health but feeling comfortable in a new group and really just doing something totally different. 

I feel like you need an adventure, although you'd probably disagree. I'd find a women's conference, maybe a writing or christian writing conference in some random part of the country, in a place where no one knows you, and attend and absorb. It would be productive for your writing, perhaps refreshing for you as well. In other words, pick some place where there are no expectations placed upon you (by you or anyone else) and just go. 

[Spryte]

Re: movement with a purpose 

7 years ago I felt the same way. And drifted into a big, ugly, blah depression. In my head, I could hear the echo of my college bestie’s dad, a sought after specialist doc, telling me to exercise, get in the sun, and “eat my protein.” I decided to give it three weeks doing All the Things and if that didn’t work, I would call the doc about antidepressants. I took all my supplements, ate right (changed my diet actually), and ran on the treadmill 45 mins a day. I watched shows that DH wouldn’t want to watch while running. I had a group of online friends who held me accountable. 

What I found was that getting sweaty, exercising and getting my heart rate up made me feel happy. Not the first few weeks, then it was just hard, but after that everyone could see a difference in my mood if I skipped my workout. Best antidepressant ever. 

So my movement has the purpose of keeping my mood where I want it. I’m more fun for my family, happier and easier going, and a better wife and parent when I work out. I do it for my family.

[KungFuPanda]

3 hours ago, regentrude said:

I am with you there! I find it ridiculous that we have removed all physical activity from daily life and now have to pay money to run on treadmills going nowhere, row on machines to nowhere, and lift useless objects just to build muscle and elevate our heart rate. I refuse to do any of that.
Can you think of any physical motion that has a purpose and would give you pleasure? Hike, bicycle, dance, swim, row, paddle, climb....
 

ETA: Aside from the lack of physical activity, I believe the Western indoor lifestyle is highly detrimental to mental health because we are lacking the intimate connection to the natural world.

I agree with you, and prefer to get all of my exercise as a byproduct of doing something fun or useful. However, the outside world can be really mean sometimes. I’m the person who is always cold and goes outside to warm up, but it’s kinda swampy and gross out there today. 

2 hours ago, elegantlion said:

 (picture the I agree smiley) I recently started a belly dancing class - like two weeks ago. I'm 56 and have had 3 major abdominal surgeries and carry all my extra weight in my belly. Not only do I tie a jingly scarf around my belly, we generally wear leggings and a fitted t-shirt, then we stare in a mirror. It plays into all my perceived self-esteem issues around my body. I thought I'd hate that part. It's a bit cringey initially, but then it feels empowering.

The first night I went I slept better than I had in weeks. I can feel very different muscles engaging in my core. 

My purpose is not only better core health but feeling comfortable in a new group and really just doing something totally different. 

I feel like you need an adventure, although you'd probably disagree. I'd find a women's conference, maybe a writing or christian writing conference in some random part of the country, in a place where no one knows you, and attend and absorb. It would be productive for your writing, perhaps refreshing for you as well. In other words, pick some place where there are no expectations placed upon you (by you or anyone else) and just go. 

This makes my heart happy 🥰 So many bellydancers have online classes now that people can participate even if they don’t want to be in a physical class or don’t live near an instructor. So many people think of it as a sexualized dance for the male gaze, but in reality it’s more of a by-women-for-women dance form that works a lot of the same muscles as Pilates, but is a lot more fun. It’s also kind to your body. 

[lovinmyboys]

I have read most of this thread, but I may have missed something, so just disregard if this isn’t helpful.

Can you just do nothing for a few weeks and then see what you miss or what you feel like doing? I let my kids do that this summer and I think it worked well. We moved to Poland a year ago and it has really stretched them and they have been fairly tired. The first week after school they told lots of friends goodbye. Then the next two weeks they mostly slept, ate, binge watched shows, used social media, and played video games. After those two weeks of sloth, they all found non screen hobbies, physical activity, creative outlets, etc. I’m wondering if you just let yourself “do nothing” for a bit without guilt, if you would come out of it with some more clarity and internal motivation. 

[TexasProud]

Ok several of you have good suggestions as far as exercise.  But here is the thing. I get so tired of starting over. In January and February I was eating really well, exercising, doing all the things.  And I know how you build good habits and how to encourage yourself. I've read all the books.  I know all the strategies.  So yes, I determined to do well, and got into good habits.  I lost 14 pounds. But Since March we have been traveling and all the good habits went out the window.  

So yes, I know what to do.  I can possibly motivate myself to start after VBS next week ( I will be dancing for 4 hours a day next week LOL).  By the end of August I will have some pretty good habits established.  Then we will be in the RV for 6 weeks, which won't be too horrible in that we normally hike a ton.  But my habits I have established will be gone.  Home for 2 weeks. Then to Honduras on the mission trip where they serve all carbs. Home for a week or two, then fly out to Indiana to see my daughter in a production over a long weekend.  Thanksgiving (need I say anything about food).  A mission leader conference where they serve wonderful junk. Then it will be the middle of December.

So then I will again be right where I am today, trying to establish good habits. It almost feels like why bother?  Does that make sense?

[lovinmyboys]

As far as food, it would make sense to me to have good habits when I could, so the times I couldn’t wouldn’t be so bad. I think it is better to eat well some of the time rather than none of the time. When we are home, I eat pretty well because I meal plan and shop and cook. We travel quite a bit, and I do not eat as well those times. But I like that I am still eating well more often than not.

[Carol in Cal.]

What if instead of you thinking of it as restarting over and over, you thought of it as developing a food protocol for home, and one for RV life, and one for distant vacations?  And an exercise protocol for 'home in the summer' and one for 'RVing in good weather' and one for 'home in the winter'?  Etc.?

Then you're not 'starting over'.  You're 'switching to the appropriate protocol'?

[TexasProud]

19 minutes ago, Carol in Cal. said:

What if instead of you thinking of it as restarting over and over, you thought of it as developing a food protocol for home, and one for RV life, and one for distant vacations?  And an exercise protocol for 'home in the summer' and one for 'RVing in good weather' and one for 'home in the winter'?  Etc.?

Then you're not 'starting over'.  You're 'switching to the appropriate protocol'?

That is a decent idea.  RV life, i feel pretty good about.  We hike nearly every day except travel days and since now we don't drive more than 350 miles in a day, many times much less, there is time to at least hike around the campground if we don't take a formal hike.  So I feel ok with that.  Drinking water is an issue though.  At home, I can get to 64 ounces but I really have to be strategic.  i cannot drink anything for at least an hour or maybe an hour and half before we hike if I want to make it. (Yes, I drink water as I hike.)  But at home I am going to the bathroom every hour at least. On the mission field and on RV I cannot do that.  Drinking water helps me fill up. 

Honduras, I don't know what to do about food.  This time most meals didn't have any vegetables.  Food prices have skyrocketed.  I ate very, very poorly because I was climbing tons of stairs in the hospital ( 49 a day according to my Apple Watch) and was starving. 

Then flying to my daughter's performances, Thanksgiving, and the leader's conferences are just hard.  They have the fattening food I absolutely love.  My husband is capable of portion control...in fact, I worry he has a problem limiting food.  I will go back and sneak more desserts. My MIL has bowls of candy that is my favorite and I am constantly sneaking it and eating it somewhere and hiding the evidence. . Exercising is another issue I would have to figure out.  It makes my head spin. The mission conference has three huge meals and a morning snack and an evening snack...  Just ridiculous and when it all the food I love but shouldn't have, it just makes it hard. 

[lauraw4321]

@TexasProud Why don’t you read fiction?

[TexasProud]

11 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said:

@TexasProud Why don’t you read fiction?

I do, but I have a hard time finding something I like.

No cussing or sex scenes.
I despise Romance novels
I despise most Christian fiction: tie it up in a neat bow

So it needs to be clean AND well written, which is a hard combination to find.

I like classics: To Kill a Mockingbird, A Tale of Two Cities, Jane Eyre, etc. 

I like good YA  or children's fiction. I discovered Kate DiCamillo last summer and read nearly everything she has written.  She has such a way of writing of longing and loss hopefully. Harry Potter. Harry Potter was good. 

I'll take any suggestions. 

[TexasProud]

Today has been a decent day.  I didn't sleep well at all last night because I took a nap yesterday.  I spent A LOT of time polishing the newsletter, recording the audio and then sending it out this morning. Probably at least 3 hours. I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher, did a few loads of laundry, swept and mopped the utility and hall, straightened and roombad ( is that a word LOL) the living room and playroom.  Went and  helped get the reception ready for a good friend's son's wedding and then served at the reception.  Came home and practiced the VBS moves for awhile.  I am afraid I am going to make a big fat fool of myself.  I should practice it again, but I am pretty tired.  I read a little and visited with my daughter some.  It is 5:45 and I am tired. I may go take that bath and maybe read something....body keeps score maybe.  Not sure what after that. 

[Melissa Louise]

Book rec:

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2021/aug/16/four-thousand-weeks-time-and-how-to-use-it-by-oliver-burkeman-review

[Rosie_0801]

Low morale is a normal side effect of loneliness. I am nowhere near as sociable as you are, and that is my life because there is nobody here most of the time.

Perhaps you should read romance because you hate it. Begin with Lucy Worsley's documentary and read some of the old stuff, like a unit study. 

Maybe it'll act like a decoy and ease the emotions about other areas of life.

[fairfarmhand]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

That is a decent idea.  RV life, i feel pretty good about.  We hike nearly every day except travel days and since now we don't drive more than 350 miles in a day, many times much less, there is time to at least hike around the campground if we don't take a formal hike.  So I feel ok with that.  Drinking water is an issue though.  At home, I can get to 64 ounces but I really have to be strategic.  i cannot drink anything for at least an hour or maybe an hour and half before we hike if I want to make it. (Yes, I drink water as I hike.)  But at home I am going to the bathroom every hour at least. On the mission field and on RV I cannot do that.  Drinking water helps me fill up. 

Honduras, I don't know what to do about food.  This time most meals didn't have any vegetables.  Food prices have skyrocketed.  I ate very, very poorly because I was climbing tons of stairs in the hospital ( 49 a day according to my Apple Watch) and was starving. 

Then flying to my daughter's performances, Thanksgiving, and the leader's conferences are just hard.  They have the fattening food I absolutely love.  My husband is capable of portion control...in fact, I worry he has a problem limiting food.  I will go back and sneak more desserts. My MIL has bowls of candy that is my favorite and I am constantly sneaking it and eating it somewhere and hiding the evidence. . Exercising is another issue I would have to figure out.  It makes my head spin. The mission conference has three huge meals and a morning snack and an evening snack...  Just ridiculous and when it all the food I love but shouldn't have, it just makes it hard. 

I don’t know why Christian conferences are like th at with food. Can you skip one of the meals and walk instead?

[regentrude]

3 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Ok several of you have good suggestions as far as exercise.  But here is the thing. I get so tired of starting over. In January and February I was eating really well, exercising, doing all the things.  And I know how you build good habits and how to encourage yourself. I've read all the books.  I know all the strategies.  So yes, I determined to do well, and got into good habits.  I lost 14 pounds. But Since March we have been traveling and all the good habits went out the window.  

So yes, I know what to do.  I can possibly motivate myself to start after VBS next week ( I will be dancing for 4 hours a day next week LOL).  By the end of August I will have some pretty good habits established.  Then we will be in the RV for 6 weeks, which won't be too horrible in that we normally hike a ton.  But my habits I have established will be gone.  Home for 2 weeks. Then to Honduras on the mission trip where they serve all carbs. Home for a week or two, then fly out to Indiana to see my daughter in a production over a long weekend.  Thanksgiving (need I say anything about food).  A mission leader conference where they serve wonderful junk. Then it will be the middle of December.

So then I will again be right where I am today, trying to establish good habits. It almost feels like why bother?  Does that make sense?

You are borrowing trouble from the future.
Maybe you should focus on the day in front of you. 
Live TODAY the way you would like your life to be.

You are a Christian. Why not put the future in God's hand and control the only thing you can: your choices right now.

Matthew 6:34.

Edited July 9, 2023 by regentrude

[Carol in Cal.]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

I do, but I have a hard time finding something I like.

No cussing or sex scenes.
I despise Romance novels
I despise most Christian fiction: tie it up in a neat bow

So it needs to be clean AND well written, which is a hard combination to find.

I like classics: To Kill a Mockingbird, A Tale of Two Cities, Jane Eyre, etc. 

I like good YA  or children's fiction. I discovered Kate DiCamillo last summer and read nearly everything she has written.  She has such a way of writing of longing and loss hopefully. Harry Potter. Harry Potter was good. 

I'll take any suggestions. 

Faith Alone by Bo Giertz

The Hammer of God by Bo Giertz

Lord of the Rings by Tolkein

Christy by Catherine Marshall

Have you read the recently published original version of TKAM?  It's different enough to be interesting.

 

 

[fairfarmhand]

The Mitford books are quite soothing. 

[Spryte]

Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters?

I don’t read romance or Christian books, nor do I read mysteries, and never seem to lack reading material. Have you looked on Good Reads or browsed the kindle store? Or if there’s a curriculum that you like, check out their high school lit assignments.

[TexasProud]

8 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

Faith Alone by Bo Giertz

The Hammer of God by Bo Giertz

Lord of the Rings by Tolkein

Christy by Catherine Marshall

Have you read the recently published original version of TKAM?  It's different enough to be interesting.

 

 

Have Christy and Lord of the Rings on my shelf. Will have to check out Bo Giertz. Put it in my Amazon cart ( Just use that to keep my lists when I go to the library or used bookstore)

7 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

The Mitford books are quite soothing. 

Hardbacks are all on my shelf.  Though honestly, first one is good, others meh.  The thing is I read so fast.  My MIL gave me one as a Christmas gift a long time ago and she couldn't believe I sat and read it on the couch in a couple of hours. 

3 hours ago, Spryte said:

Jane Austen, the Brontë sisters?

I don’t read romance or Christian books, nor do I read mysteries, and never seem to lack reading material. Have you looked on Good Reads or browsed the kindle store? Or if there’s a curriculum that you like, check out their high school lit assignments.

Yes, read all of them. I have never figured out Good Reads.  Since I taught many high school lit classes in public, private and homeschool co-ops, I have a ton of them on my shelf. 

[marbel]

If you are looking for fiction, and like YA and like Austen, you may find these take-offs of her novels fun. I did, anyway. 

Pride and Premeditation and Sense and Second Degree Murder by Tirzah Price 

The Murder of Mr Wickham and The Late Mrs Willoughby by Claudia Gray - These actually aren't considered YA but they have no sex, language, etc.

 

 

 

[KungFuPanda]

15 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Ok several of you have good suggestions as far as exercise.  But here is the thing. I get so tired of starting over. In January and February I was eating really well, exercising, doing all the things.  And I know how you build good habits and how to encourage yourself. I've read all the books.  I know all the strategies.  So yes, I determined to do well, and got into good habits.  I lost 14 pounds. But Since March we have been traveling and all the good habits went out the window.  

So yes, I know what to do.  I can possibly motivate myself to start after VBS next week ( I will be dancing for 4 hours a day next week LOL).  By the end of August I will have some pretty good habits established.  Then we will be in the RV for 6 weeks, which won't be too horrible in that we normally hike a ton.  But my habits I have established will be gone.  Home for 2 weeks. Then to Honduras on the mission trip where they serve all carbs. Home for a week or two, then fly out to Indiana to see my daughter in a production over a long weekend.  Thanksgiving (need I say anything about food).  A mission leader conference where they serve wonderful junk. Then it will be the middle of December.

So then I will again be right where I am today, trying to establish good habits. It almost feels like why bother?  Does that make sense?

It sounds like you don’t have to pick a date or make an effort to jump in. It looks like VBS is gonna kickstart an exercise schedule for you. If you get a decent meal plan going then that week can double as a health spa. 😬

[TexasProud]

5 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

It sounds like you don’t have to pick a date or make an effort to jump in. It looks like VBS is gonna kickstart an exercise schedule for you. If you get a decent meal plan going then that week can double as a health spa. 😬

LOL..  Yep.  No trouble with exercising this week for sure.  And I have been walking and practicing the songs this past week.  Like I said, it will be after the 17th when he leaves that I worry.  My friend will be gone at youth camp as well. 

[maize]

You might enjoy Remembering Isaac.

[lauraw4321]

Pretty sure Maisie Dobbs series fits the bill. 

[Wheres Toto]

Your schedule is constantly changing.  Your location is constantly changing.  That life would make me absolutely miserable.   But if that's what you enjoy doing, then I think you need to set up routines that work with that.   As Carol said, set up routines that work with your different circumstances.   You must have other routines that change depending on where you are, around cooking, chores, etc.   Do the same for exercise, outdoor time, etc.  

[TexasProud]

3 hours ago, Wheres Toto said:

Your schedule is constantly changing.  Your location is constantly changing.  That life would make me absolutely miserable.   But if that's what you enjoy doing, then I think you need to set up routines that work with that.   As Carol said, set up routines that work with your different circumstances.   You must have other routines that change depending on where you are, around cooking, chores, etc.   Do the same for exercise, outdoor time, etc.  

Yeah, in the mission field others cook for me and do housework, so no chores or cooking. (And no choice about food served either.)  Don't know that I have routines for holidays or when we fly to visit our daughter.  The RV, yes.  LOL, we have checklists: packing, menus, and then a tear down list that we use every time we move campsites. 

[math teacher]

I find what works best for me is to just have a list of what I need to accomplish. Sometimes that list is for a day (such as the Tackling threads) or sometimes it's for the summer. I will be setting up weekly lists for what I need to accomplish each week in the classroom. I can't imagine fixing a time to each item, just knowing I need to get them done works best for me. Have you tried that?

[TexasProud]

2 minutes ago, math teacher said:

I find what works best for me is to just have a list of what I need to accomplish. Sometimes that list is for a day (such as the Tackling threads) or sometimes it's for the summer. I will be setting up weekly lists for what I need to accomplish each week in the classroom. I can't imagine fixing a time to each item, just knowing I need to get them done works best for me. Have you tried that?

Yes, that is what I do at home. I do not assign times.  That was just an example of a day. I do not do well when it is regimented.  Now I do not do that on mission trips, RV trips, or trips out of town.  Maybe I should...not sure. 

[marbel]

3 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, that is what I do at home. I do not assign times.  That was just an example of a day. I do not do well when it is regimented.  Now I do not do that on mission trips, RV trips, or trips out of town.  Maybe I should...not sure. 

Are your RV trips for vacation/pleasure? Do you have to be productive on those? I mean I know there are chores associated with RV living but other than that, would you need a to-do list?  

[TexasProud]

9 hours ago, marbel said:

Are your RV trips for vacation/pleasure? Do you have to be productive on those? I mean I know there are chores associated with RV living but other than that, would you need a to-do list?  

Not necessarily.  A poster said I had routines here so I should make similar lists there.  My whole life is for pleasure if the truth be known, in that there isn't anything I HAVE to do.  That said, I believe God would want me to be a good steward of my time and use it to love him and love others. 

[Pawz4me]

Psalms 46:10 might be an interesting verse for you to ponder on.

There's certainly a lot of value in being still.

(I'm pretty sure your first instinct is going to be to push back on that, and you might spend some time thinking about why that is.)

[TexasProud]

39 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

Psalms 46:10 might be an interesting verse for you to ponder on.

There's certainly a lot of value in being still.

(I'm pretty sure your first instinct is going to be to push back on that, and you might spend some time thinking about why that is.)

No, no push back at all.  I definitely spend time just sitting still, especially on the RV trips.  I love sitting outside and watching sunrises or sunsets.  I really like the time in the RV to be honest. I also schedule times here at home to just sit by our middle pond doing nothing. 

[freesia]

I’m going to go back to something I said pages back. I think you are bored and know you need a challenge. Writing is a challenge, but it can be a tough one if the words aren’t flowing. I can see that a job won’t work with your lifestyle. Could you join one of those exercise boot camps or something? When I start to overeat or want to hide what I eat, it is a flag for me to pay attention to. It usually means that I am deeply dissatisfied with something but am not being honest about it. I’m just throwing that out in case it’s helpful. 

[marbel]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

Not necessarily.  A poster said I had routines here so I should make similar lists there.  My whole life is for pleasure if the truth be known, in that there isn't anything I HAVE to do.  That said, I believe God would want me to be a good steward of my time and use it to love him and love others. 

Right, I remember posts where people gave suggestions to maybe set up routines for when you are away from home, to keep up your exercise and (I think nutrition?) that seems to fall apart when you travel. Not a daily list of things you need to accomplish, which is what the post I quoted was referring to/responding to. 

Re the bolded: yes, of course. How would a vacation to-do list help you with that? For most people, vacation is a break from the to-do lists and has nothing at all to do with their ability to love and serve God.  To me (I'm not telling you it has to be like this for you), being a good steward of my time on vacation is enjoying God's creation and the gift of free time to the fullest, so I come back to my regular life refreshed and ready to get back to my work. (By work I don't mean paid work necessarily.) 

 

Edited July 10, 2023 by marbel
Clarity, maybe

[TexasProud]

8 minutes ago, marbel said:

Right, I remember posts where people gave suggestions to maybe set up routines for when you are away from home, to keep up your exercise and (I think nutrition?) routines that work for you at home. Not a daily list of things you need to accomplish, which is what the post I quoted was referring to/responding to. 

Re the bolded: yes, of course. How would a vacation to-do list help you with that? For most people, vacation is a break from the to-do lists and has nothing at all to do with their ability to love and serve God.  To me (I'm not telling you it has to be like this for you), being a good steward of my time on vacation is enjoying God's creation and the gift of free time to the fullest, so I come back to my regular life refreshed and ready to get back to my work. (By work I don't mean paid work necessarily.) 

 

But my whole life is a vacation.

That said, I only mentioned a to-do list because other people mentioned it. I haven't ever had one before....  Well, not exactly true.  I was going to seminary while we traveled for several years, so I had online classes and assignments I was doing as we traveled.  One of the things I am doing during my month without my husband is sketching out podcasts, blogs, and newsletter stuff.  I will take a break part of that time in the RV, and schedule things ahead of time so I don't HAVE to do something during that time for this. However, traveling in the RV inspires much of my writing and I enjoy it.  (As long as I don't have a deadline hanging over my head.) So I would like to have things scheduled to publish but have the freedom to replace it with something new if I feel like it. 

RV, I am not worried about exercise and nutrition. We hike nearly every day.  We eat well.  It is more on mission trips(food that is pretty much all carbohydrates is cooked for me) and trips where we fly and are eating out all the time.  Holidays at my MIL  are another issue as well. 

[Kanin]

45 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

But my whole life is a vacation.

Do you want it to be that way? I can't tell if you like it or if you want some kind of outside structure. I know you travel a lot but I bet there are ways to have a job/mentoring role/volunteer position that is flexible. 

[marbel]

55 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

One of the things I am doing during my month without my husband is sketching out podcasts, blogs, and newsletter stuff.  I will take a break part of that time in the RV, and schedule things ahead of time so I don't HAVE to do something during that time for this. However, traveling in the RV inspires much of my writing and I enjoy it.  (As long as I don't have a deadline hanging over my head.) So I would like to have things scheduled to publish but have the freedom to replace it with something new if I feel like it. 

That sounds great, in particular, that your travels inspire your writing. Actually a lovely way to be productive while still doing something you love. Scheduling newsletter and podcast releases ahead of time releases you from the need for a to-do list so you can enjoy the trip and continue to write as  you wish. 

It sounds as if when you are home without your husband as an external force, you are dissatisfied/bored in general. That's where some structured work (not necessarily paid work) would help you.

Then, when you are on mission trips or visiting family, etc., you feel like your exercise and nutrition efforts are undermined - I think I've got that right?  That's where building some routines might help you, if you have some control over your time. Though I understand that doesn't help with food if you have no control over that. 

Edited July 10, 2023 by marbel

[TexasProud]

5 hours ago, marbel said:

 

It sounds as if when you are home without your husband as an external force, you are dissatisfied/bored in general. That's where some structured work (not necessarily paid work) would help you.

Then, when you are on mission trips or visiting family, etc., you feel like your exercise and nutrition efforts are undermined - I think I've got that right?  That's where building some routines might help you, if you have some control over your time. Though I understand that doesn't help with food if you have no control over that. 

Yes, exactly, which brings us back to the original point/question of my thread. ( Boy have we chased a bunch of rabbit trails.)  I can make a list of all the things I would love to get done:

1. Get my advent devotional edited enough to show it to an editor/talk to someone about what to do with it;
2. Get either a Patreon page done ( they are about to let you sell digital products)  or figure out how to get mailer lite or Stripe to work, something to be able to sell my stuff. 
3. Sit down and write my next devotional that would be like the one I have currently done.  The Advent is longer and more involved. I know the topic.  I've written one or two.  Even a focused weekend or two could get that done.   This will be my next series of podcasts and devotional blog posts. So it does double duty. My other one is 31 days.  This one might be 2 weeks.  Not sure.  But my original one with two podcasts a week, I am halfway through now. So it will last for another 7 weeks or so. Break for a month. Then this one. 
4. I could make some YouTube videos on some of the campgrounds and places we have already visited. I have the videos and pics in folders.  I have some of my husbands DIY in folders that I could make videos.  I also really enjoy making scripture meditation videos.  This is later in the priority.

Without my husband here, I SHOULD make good progress on all of that, as well as just enjoy myself.  Take a bath. Get a massage. Take walks in the park. Fun shopping. I would like to get a desk for my study. I need to go visit my stepdad and get some furniture and artwork out of the house as they are selling it. I could have lunch with some of my seminary friends when I do that.

I can make nice plans. But without anyone here, I am likely to sit on the couch and watch The Good Wife or Hill Street Blues or something. 

[Melissa Louise]

Maybe your internal motivation is to give yourself a break from all the productive achievement! 

You know, it's just really not a big deal, in the scheme of things, to waste some time. It's just not. God isn't going to wag a finger at you for binge watching The Good Wife. 

'Wasting' time...what a crazy concept. It can't be wasted, only experienced. Maybe experience three weeks of having a break from all the 'I should/I must' inner talk. 

 

[marbel]

32 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

God isn't going to wag a finger at you for binge watching The Good Wife. 

There are people with the mindset - and I am not saying that OP is one of them! - who do believe that God will wag that finger. That every moment has to be spent "serving God" in some visible way. But as many people have pointed out, resting is a good thing, and sometimes shutting down can be a great way to jumpstart creativity. 

OP, I hope you find what you are looking for. 💗

Edited July 10, 2023 by marbel

[Melissa Louise]

8 minutes ago, marbel said:

There are people with the mindset - and I am not saying that OP is one of them! - who do believe that God will wag that finger. That every moment has to be spent "serving God" in some visible way. But as many people have pointed out, resting is a good thing, and sometimes shutting down can be a great way to jumpstart creativity. 

OP, I hope you find what you are looking for. 💗

Well, that's just crazy. 

Even God rested after making the world, right?

 

[marbel]

1 minute ago, Melissa Louise said:

Well, that's just crazy. 

Even God rested after making the world, right?

 

Yep.

And to be clear, I don't think that way either. But I know people/churches that do. 

[fairfarmhand]

19 minutes ago, Melissa Louise said:

Well, that's just crazy. 

Even God rested after making the world, right?

 

Reading through the old testament, you see that God is a God of naps and parties. He was always telling his people to stop working and have a festival. 

[Rosie_0801]

So Tex, when do you feel - is entitled the right word? - to veg out? 

 

[Clarita]

12 hours ago, TexasProud said:

But my whole life is a vacation.

I don't think you should feel so bad about your "lack of self discipline". Seriously when my life gets to the point of essentially it's always vacation, I'd probably get a job (one in which I worked for someone). I've actually known some retired people who got jobs where they can get routine and walk around and talk to people with external motivation. One of them also vacationed all the time. He just told his job that he wanted this job to be flexible to his vacations. If a job was ever inflexible about this he quit and found another job when he was back.