I think I made a mistake

[Melissa Louise]

Your schedule would kill me. If you love it and thrive on it, ignore the rest of this post. 

Here's how my non-paid work or low work days look for contrast just to show you don't have to have every moment accounted for!

Wake up  and read/drink tea/browse social media

Do a little laundry or cleaning

Write for a couple of hours

Hang out with friend or sibling

Long walk 

Maybe an hour of mentoring my YA writer, maybe emails, maybe pottering around, music, tidying, cleaning, look after my pot plants

Dinner prep and making 

Podcasts, reading, online, phone calls -fam and friends. Yoga if I'm in the mood. 

~

Evenings are good for connecting - with ideas, and/or people, and/or self.

~

I think the broader point I want to make is that there isn't a timekeeper out there. God isn't looking down making sure you are perpetually on task. So when a schedule seems compulsive in some ways, it's ok to let it go and have time be more, idk, expansive and welcoming and free. 

 

[Rosie_0801]

That schedule would absolutely ruin my serotonin levels, and since left over serotonin converts to melatonin only if there is any left over, I wouldn't sleep either.

[marbel]

18 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

If you have suggestions let me know.  I do not set an alarm.  Sometimes I wake up at 3.  Sometimes at 1.  I won't get out of bed until 4.  But yeah, I don't sleep well.  Haven't in decades.

If you are so tired at 7pm, why not go to bed then? If hanging out here and other online places disrupts your sleep, why do it? Why not come up with a better evening routine - maybe for you it's a warm bath, some gentle stretching, and getting into bed with a book (physical book, not on a device) with a cup of some soothing warm drink, and call it a night? Or maybe an audio book, or calm music. I mean, I'm not telling you what will soothe you, just throwing out ideas that many people find helpful. 

[Harriet Vane]

28 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

If you have suggestions let me know.  I do not set an alarm.  Sometimes I wake up at 3.  Sometimes at 1.  I won't get out of bed until 4.  But yeah, I don't sleep well.  Haven't in decades.

I'd start with a sleep study. Lack of sleep or possible sleep apnea could be driving a lot of your feelings. Ask me how I know. Sleep apnea in particular really needs to be addressed urgently if that is an issue you have.

In your shoes, I'd also get some bloodwork, specifically looking at thyroid and also a full iron panel. When I was anemic I experienced a bizarre combination of fatigue and terribly disordered sleep. Taking iron supplements took care of that.

I also find I get noticeably deeper, longer sleep with magnesium supplements.

I'll mention one further thing that prevents me from sleeping--nasal steroid sprays. I don't know if you're taking any or not. I can take plain saline sprays, but steroid sprays (like for allergies or rhinitis) do something weird to me. I will be able to fall asleep, but then I cannot stay asleep. I can take a nasal steroid spray like Nasacort only 2 or 3 days tops, and then I find myself waking each night after 3-5 hours of sleep, unable to drift back to sleep.

Your schedule is extremely full, but you've posted many times about not deriving satisfaction. You may find some tweaks in your health maintenance and especially your sleep will help.

 

[freesia]

There is no way on earth I could keep that schedule every day. It’s too regimented for me. I’d stop starting your day at 4. Just read or something really relaxing. It’s completely normal to be exhausted within 9 hours of waking up again. Have you tried winding down and going to bed by 8?

[Bambam]

A friend uses Magnesium spray to help her stay asleep. She struggles with not sleeping well, and through trying all sorts of things, she found this. She can go to sleep, but not stay asleep. Might be worth investigating to see if it might help you. 

I've tried it. I usually don't have a problem with waking and not being able to go back to sleep, but on the rare occasion I do. The magnesium spray does seem to help that, but it is hard to judge since it is a random thing. Sorry I can't offer more feedback than that. 

ETA: I'm an early riser too (but more like 5:30-6:30 am). I always have been. And usually by 7:30/8 pm, I'm done for the day for anything requiring anything much concentration. So, escape book, or playing on phone (blue light filter), listening to something non-brain-needing, taking a bath, whatever to wind down the evening before I go to bed. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by Bambam

[fairfarmhand]

3 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, that is how I schedule my days as well.  Here is a somewhat typical schedule when I am home:
4-5 am quiet time, coffee ( Morning pages, Bible reading, devotional reading, etc.)
5-6:30ish Work on a writing project
6:30-8  Walk with my husband or my friend
8- 9:30 or so  Work on a missions project ( designing posters, newsletter, emails to new mission participants, etc.) Read a book.
9:30-10  Housework of some kind
10-11  Work on podcasts or social media about podcasts
11-12  Phone calls, housework, etc. (Sometimes I have ZOOM meetings at this time)
12-12:30 lunch with hubby

At this point in the day I am tired and losing momentum. 
12:30-2  Listen to an abide meditation, read a book, sometimes take a catnap.
2-3   Household chore.  Laundry. Finances (entering stuff in Mint, paying bills) 
3-4:30  Creating a video or podcast (recording was earlier)
About this time I am really starting to lose momentum.  Maybe housework. Contine reading a book ( Generally have 3-4 going at the same time)
6-7 Hubby and I will eat dinner while watching a show
7- Hubby goes back outside to work on something..  I really, really struggle at this point. I am tired of reading.  My brain is done.  Writing isn't an option either. What I would spend 2 hours on would take 15 minutes in the morning when I am fresh. I really don't know what to do here. I tend to be on here.  Even social media isn't appealing though sometimes I scroll because I have nothing to do.  Social media isn't truly my problem, it is being on here or researching way too much on things that really don't matter. But if I am on the computer during this time, I have trouble going to sleep, so I try not to be on it after 7.  So again, what to do...
9pm  Bedtime

That is a good day. However, if I have a meeting in the morning or doctor's appointment where I am not productive in the morning, when I get home in the afternoon, I have little motivation and may hide in my study watching my iPad.  Or the other day when I started the thread and for most of this week I struggled because the exchange girls were here.  I was running them back and forth and half the time I was just waiting for a phone call to tell me what time to come get them or bring them someplace.  I had pockets of time to do things. I have lists I could have chosen things, but it is like that uncertainty just makes my brain unable to work if I am just going to be interrupted.  The last couple of days since they left have been very good ones. 

Wow. You get so much done. 

You seem to struggle with the idea that you are not productive 100 percent of the time.

Really it's ok if you're not. I have a hard time with momentum if my morning has something else going on and that's ok. I try to have 3-4 days a week when I follow my ideal plan and it's ok to have other things on the other days. 

My dh works as a manager. He says he'd like his people to be fairly productive about 60-70 percent of the time.  Those who try to be 90 percent productive or more tend to burn out and really struggle with the long haul. He'd rather have lower productivity but keep all his workers working consistently and not sick because they're working too hard. 

For days that you know you're going to get interrupted, just pick jobs that are quickly wrapped up. Like laundry. I can do a load here or there. Cleaning the fridge. Sweeping. Organizing a shelf of the pantry. It's ok to shift that stuff. Or not. There's nothing wrong with just puttering around on those days too. 

As for your 7 pm slump. That's okay! Why do you think you need to be productive after that time? Who told you that? If you're tired, go to bed. If you want to take a warm bath and listen to soothing music and wind down the day that's fine too. My ds has tae kwon do from 7:30 to 8:30. I try to have everything wrapped up by the time I get home from his class so I can slump around and be non productive for a time, relaxing before I go to bed around 10:30. (I do not start my day as early as you, My day doesn't start till 6:30 or 7.)

Who told you that your worth relies on what you get done each day? 

Why is taking resting hard for you?

I get it that your dh is a busy guy. That has nothing to do with you and he is not *better* than you because of it.

I'm married to an engineer. He's a go getter. We have a farm, so his evenings and weekends are pretty full too. He's a very driven person and wants everything done just right. That doesn't make him a better person than me In fact, it often cripples him. He often wishes he could just stop. He will go and go until he collapses. I wish he could follow his 60 percent rule he has for his employees. 

You sound like you are doing well on the average day. Why are you so insistent that it is not enough or you are lazy or something? You know it's okay that you can't follow that rigid schedule every single day of your life.

 

[Carol in Cal.]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

If you have suggestions let me know.  I do not set an alarm.  Sometimes I wake up at 3.  Sometimes at 1.  I won't get out of bed until 4.  But yeah, I don't sleep well.  Haven't in decades.

I always set an alarm.  I gauge it to the first thing I HAVE TO do the next day.  I sleep better knowing that I won't fail to wake up before that.  Otherwise I wake up over and over, wondering whether it's time to get up.  My alarm almost never wakes me up, but it does help me to sleep better.

Beyond that, I'm usually a pretty good sleeper so I can't help with that.  My husband takes melatonin to help him sleep and finds it extremely helpful.

[wintermom]

3 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, that is how I schedule my days as well.  Here is a somewhat typical schedule when I am home:
4-5 am quiet time, coffee ( Morning pages, Bible reading, devotional reading, etc.)
5-6:30ish Work on a writing project
6:30-8  Walk with my husband or my friend
8- 9:30 or so  Work on a missions project ( designing posters, newsletter, emails to new mission participants, etc.) Read a book.
9:30-10  Housework of some kind
10-11  Work on podcasts or social media about podcasts
11-12  Phone calls, housework, etc. (Sometimes I have ZOOM meetings at this time)
12-12:30 lunch with hubby

At this point in the day I am tired and losing momentum. 
12:30-2  Listen to an abide meditation, read a book, sometimes take a catnap.
2-3   Household chore.  Laundry. Finances (entering stuff in Mint, paying bills) 
3-4:30  Creating a video or podcast (recording was earlier)
About this time I am really starting to lose momentum.  Maybe housework. Contine reading a book ( Generally have 3-4 going at the same time)
6-7 Hubby and I will eat dinner while watching a show
7- Hubby goes back outside to work on something..  I really, really struggle at this point. I am tired of reading.  My brain is done.  Writing isn't an option either. What I would spend 2 hours on would take 15 minutes in the morning when I am fresh. I really don't know what to do here. I tend to be on here.  Even social media isn't appealing though sometimes I scroll because I have nothing to do.  Social media isn't truly my problem, it is being on here or researching way too much on things that really don't matter. But if I am on the computer during this time, I have trouble going to sleep, so I try not to be on it after 7.  So again, what to do...
9pm  Bedtime

That is a good day. However, if I have a meeting in the morning or doctor's appointment where I am not productive in the morning, when I get home in the afternoon, I have little motivation and may hide in my study watching my iPad.  Or the other day when I started the thread and for most of this week I struggled because the exchange girls were here.  I was running them back and forth and half the time I was just waiting for a phone call to tell me what time to come get them or bring them someplace.  I had pockets of time to do things. I have lists I could have chosen things, but it is like that uncertainty just makes my brain unable to work if I am just going to be interrupted.  The last couple of days since they left have been very good ones. 

I'm not sure of your age, but this schedule looks really similar to my dh and myself, except dh is the morning person and I'm more of an evening person. We both work full-time mostly from home. Dh is awake at 4 or 5 am, while I'll usually sleep in to 6:30, then we'll take the dogs for a walk together. We're 57 and 56. We'll also go to bed around 9pm. Neither of us do any mental work after 5 or 6 pm. We're toast by then. 

I do notice that you don't have much outdoor time or physical activity in the schedule you've provided. You mention one walk a day, but this may not be enough for you to burn off the energy you clearly have. You may want to explore adding some more intense physical activity or weight training, and this may really help you sleep.  

 

[Laura Corin]

7 hours ago, TexasProud said:

If you have suggestions let me know.  I do not set an alarm.  Sometimes I wake up at 3.  Sometimes at 1.  I won't get out of bed until 4.  But yeah, I don't sleep well.  Haven't in decades.

I have had problems sleeping for the past few years. For the past six months or so, my latest solution has been working brilliantly. I have an eye mask with built-in headphones that connects to my phone by Bluetooth.  When I want to go to sleep, I set a one-hour podcast with which I  am already familiar going,  and drift off to sleep. Any time I wake up, I push the replay button and drift off again listening to the same voices. I favour history podcasts  - nothing too bloody. If you are interested,  these are the headphones

https://www.snoozeband.co.uk/products/snoozeband™-deluxe-sleep-mask-with-headphones

 

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, Laura Corin said:

I have had problems sleeping for the past few years. For the past six months or so, my latest solution has been working brilliantly. I have an eye mask with built-in headphones that connects to my phone by Bluetooth.  When I want to go to sleep, I set a one-hour podcast with which I  am already familiar going,  and drift off to sleep. Any time I wake up, I push the replay button and drift off again listening to the same voices. I favour history podcasts  - nothing too bloody. If you are interested,  these are the headphones

https://www.snoozeband.co.uk/products/snoozeband™-deluxe-sleep-mask-with-headphones

 

Interesting. Those are only in UK.  I found something similar on Amazon, so I put one in my cart.  Would love to hear any other boardies experience/brand they use.  Also, my husband wouldn't be able to hear it?

[TexasProud]

6 hours ago, wintermom said:

 

I do notice that you don't have much outdoor time or physical activity in the schedule you've provided. You mention one walk a day, but this may not be enough for you to burn off the energy you clearly have. You may want to explore adding some more intense physical activity or weight training, and this may really help you sleep.  

 

We typically walk 3-4 miles in that walk.  I hate exercise.  I am doing really well to do this and fear I will not do it when he is in Africa.  As a girl I danced, and I have tons of tapes. I cannot make myself do it.  Sometimes I do an additional walk on our property, but not this time of year when the temps are mid-nineties to one hundred. 

[TexasProud]

6 hours ago, fairfarmhand said:

 

As for your 7 pm slump. That's okay! Why do you think you need to be productive after that time? Who told you that? If you're tired, go to bed. If you want to take a warm bath and listen to soothing music and wind down the day that's fine too. My ds has tae kwon do from 7:30 to 8:30. I try to have everything wrapped up by the time I get home from his class so I can slump around and be non productive for a time, relaxing before I go to bed around 10:30. (I do not start my day as early as you, My day doesn't start till 6:30 or 7.)

 

 

 

 

8 hours ago, marbel said:

If you are so tired at 7pm, why not go to bed then? If hanging out here and other online places disrupts your sleep, why do it? Why not come up with a better evening routine - maybe for you it's a warm bath, some gentle stretching, and getting into bed with a book (physical book, not on a device) with a cup of some soothing warm drink, and call it a night? Or maybe an audio book, or calm music. I mean, I'm not telling you what will soothe you, just throwing out ideas that many people find helpful. 

 

Several things. If I read, I will go to sleep or not be able to concentrate on what I am reading since all of my books are nonfiction and my brain is dead. A bath I could do, but again, I will go to sleep. It isn't that I feel like I need to be productive. It is that I am bored and exhausted and restless during that time. I wander around trying to figure out what to do. In fact most of the time I don't want to be productive and maybe the kitchen needs cleaning, but I won't do it but I don't know what I want to do at that point. 

If I go to bed at 7, one of two things happens:
1. I wake up at 1 or 2 and won't go back to sleep.
2. I fall deeply asleep, but hubby wakes me up when he comes to bed at 9 or 10.  Then, it is like I have had a really good nap and so I sit wide awake until 1 or 2, go back to sleep and wake up at 5 terribly hung over. 

Going to bed between 9 and 10 gives me the best chance of not waking up until 4. 

[TexasProud]

8 hours ago, freesia said:

There is no way on earth I could keep that schedule every day. It’s too regimented for me. I’d stop starting your day at 4. Just read or something really relaxing. It’s completely normal to be exhausted within 9 hours of waking up again. Have you tried winding down and going to bed by 8?

Ok, that was a sample schedule.  I am NOT regimented.  I have a to-do list like I told another boarder.  I would love not to start my day at 4, but I am awake. Might as well. Plus, as I said, I struggle with routines because not every day is the same.  Next week I will be leading music in VBS from 8-12 every day.  Yesterday, I did my writing and quiet time stuff. Hubby and I left at 7:45 to go pick up our couple friends.  We went to a town and played disc golf, went to the Texas Country Music Hall of Fame for a few hours and went out to eat. We got home about 2.  I was super sleepy and made the mistake of taking an hour nap...  Bad idea. Then from 3-6:30 or so I worked hard on the newsletter I am putting out today, which involved not only the editing and polishing but texting a couple of students I hadn't heard from to make sure I had permission to use their photos. My daughter also came in somewhere in there and we had a nice talk for awhile.

I cannot keep a schedule.  What has always worked best for me is to have my to do list and if I can, make myself do the most important things first.  Also, like the other boardie mentioned I try to alternate something sedentary with something physical like mopping or doing laundry. I try to schedule the making videos or recordings or reading for times when I don't have much energy. 

And again, that schedule was a pretty productive day.  Many times I may end up here in the middle of the day and never leave. 

Oh, and again, very early in the morning is my best time. Even in college, I was asleep no later than 10.  I never pulled all-nighters. My brain just stops after 9. I would get up at 4 or 5 and do my extra studying. (Normally woke up at 7 or so as a college student.) I have always been a morning person.  Made my classes go from 8-12 if I could. 

[TexasProud]

6 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:

I always set an alarm.  I gauge it to the first thing I HAVE TO do the next day.  I sleep better knowing that I won't fail to wake up before that.  Otherwise I wake up over and over, wondering whether it's time to get up.  My alarm almost never wakes me up, but it does help me to sleep better.

Beyond that, I'm usually a pretty good sleeper so I can't help with that.  My husband takes melatonin to help him sleep and finds it extremely helpful.

My husband's alarm goes off at 5:15 every day.  I am never in bed when it goes off. 

[TexasProud]

8 hours ago, Bambam said:

A friend uses Magnesium spray to help her stay asleep. She struggles with not sleeping well, and through trying all sorts of things, she found this. She can go to sleep, but not stay asleep. Might be worth investigating to see if it might help you. 

I've tried it. I usually don't have a problem with waking and not being able to go back to sleep, but on the rare occasion I do. The magnesium spray does seem to help that, but it is hard to judge since it is a random thing. Sorry I can't offer more feedback than that. 
 

What brand do you use?  Looked in Amazon and there were several. 

[regentrude]

That schedule looks very ambitious, and I don't quite see the point since almost none of the things are things you have to do.

What I noticed is that you spend very little time outside and physically active. Changing that could really help with your sleep problems.
What happens when you wake at 1am? Biphasic sleep is a normal thing; just google that, it seemed to be historically accepted to sleep in two portions and be up and doing stuff in between the two phases. Recognizing that helped me make my peace with the waking and simply getting up for a while.

 

[regentrude]

Wanted to add: for me, increasing outdoor physical activity was the key to overcoming the spiritual crisis/depression/existential boredom from which I suffered a few years ago. 
Please note that I do not say "exercise". Just incorporating natural activities that lead to physical exertion in the sunshine, like farm work and gardening, kayaking and hiking.

[TexasProud]

8 hours ago, Harriet Vane said:

I'd start with a sleep study. Lack of sleep or possible sleep apnea could be driving a lot of your feelings. Ask me how I know. Sleep apnea in particular really needs to be addressed urgently if that is an issue you have.

In your shoes, I'd also get some bloodwork, specifically looking at thyroid and also a full iron panel. When I was anemic I experienced a bizarre combination of fatigue and terribly disordered sleep. Taking iron supplements took care of that.

I also find I get noticeably deeper, longer sleep with magnesium supplements.

I'll mention one further thing that prevents me from sleeping--nasal steroid sprays. I don't know if you're taking any or not. I can take plain saline sprays, but steroid sprays (like for allergies or rhinitis) do something weird to me. I will be able to fall asleep, but then I cannot stay asleep. I can take a nasal steroid spray like Nasacort only 2 or 3 days tops, and then I find myself waking each night after 3-5 hours of sleep, unable to drift back to sleep.

Your schedule is extremely full, but you've posted many times about not deriving satisfaction. You may find some tweaks in your health maintenance and especially your sleep will help.

 

Yeah, I have no allergies.  Hubby is the one with nasal sprays.

I will go in October for my yearly bloodwork.  It looks like he hasn't specifically tested for iron though has done a blood workup.  My RDW is borderline high at 14.7 percent. My TSH is between 1.2 and 1.5. My liver function tests were not great last time, though he didn't mention it. ALT was 49. 

Will ask about a sleep study.

[TexasProud]

10 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Wanted to add: for me, increasing outdoor physical activity was the key to overcoming the spiritual crisis/depression/existential boredom from which I suffered a few years ago. 
Please note that I do not say "exercise". Just incorporating natural activities that lead to physical exertion in the sunshine, like farm work and gardening, kayaking and hiking.

Man, I was so happy when I finally felt like I didn't have to weed anymore or water our garden or keep it all up. It was one of those have to things not want to..Sigh... Hubby is home and does that all now.  And right now it is just so hot.  When I helped him steamclean the boat, I was a horrible sweaty mess. I hate sweating. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[regentrude]

4 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Man, I was so happy when I finally felt like I didn't have to weed anymore or water our garden or keep it all up... Sigh... Hubby is home and does that all now.  And right now it is just so hot.  When I helped him steamclean the boat, I was a horrible sweaty mess. I hate sweating. 

I never gardened much until a few years ago when I started helping my friend at her farm. And yes, the summer days are incredibly hot and humid, and I sweat like crazy and have to rinse off under the spigot - BUT I feel so much better mentally when I do that regularly. And I sleep wonderfully after a day's work in the gardens, or a full day on the river.

Edited July 8, 2023 by regentrude

[Laura Corin]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

Interesting. Those are only in UK.  I found something similar on Amazon, so I put one in my cart.  Would love to hear any other boardies experience/brand they use.  Also, my husband wouldn't be able to hear it?

No, he wouldn't hear it because the speakers are right by your ears, if they are similar to the ones that I have. 

[marbel]

Yeah, I too have a hard time being active outdoors when it is hot and humid. It just exhausts me and not in a good way. 

Sleep is interesting because what works for people is so individual. I struggled to find something to help me stop having crazy dreams and waking up numerous times in the night. So many things gave me even more crazy intense dreams. My son takes melatonin but it was horrible for me.  Most of the herbal teas made me feel a little sick. I take a lot of magnesium - mostly citrate but have tried other forms - but that has never helped with sleep. A former co-worker used to swear by valerian for sleep - we'd work nights together and he'd take one 15 minutes before our shift ended (working from home, no driving) and he said he'd be fast asleep 15 minutes after logging off for the night. I tried it and it was the worst sleep ever! 

My strategy now is reading while listening to quiet classical music, stopping eating 3 hours before bed, and not having intense or difficult conversations after dinner. I've also started working out with dumbbells most days and that helps tire me more even though I'm doing it in the morning. 

It can take time to find out what helps most. 

[maize]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

Man, I was so happy when I finally felt like I didn't have to weed anymore or water our garden or keep it all up. It was one of those have to things not want to..Sigh... Hubby is home and does that all now.  And right now it is just so hot.  When I helped him steamclean the boat, I was a horrible sweaty mess. I hate sweating. 

Texas heat in the summer can be brutal.

[maize]

I think regentrude is onto something about time outdoors. Since you are up early, can you go for a walk outdoors first thing when the day is as cool as it us going to get?

What about getting an electric bicycle? My friends who own them really enjoy riding. It's outdoors, physically active, but no more strenuous than you want it to be.

Edited July 8, 2023 by maize

[TexasProud]

6 minutes ago, maize said:

I think regentrude is onto something about time outdoors. Since you are up early, can you go for a walk outdoors first thing when the day is as cool as it us going to get?

I guess you didn't see that on M/W/F  my husband and I walk at 6:30.  My friend and I walk on T/TH at 7.  Hubby and I walk 3.5-4 miles.  My friend and I walk closer to 3.  I normally take 11,000- 15,000 steps a day.  I think regenetude wants me to do more physical stuff like pulling weeds or weights or something. 

But again, I do this because THEY do it.  With my husband gone for a month and my friend gone for 2 weeks out of that 4, the question is will I be self-disciplined enough to do it on my own.  Probably not. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[Bambam]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

What brand do you use?  Looked in Amazon and there were several. 

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CKEBFSE

[KungFuPanda]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Interesting. Those are only in UK.  I found something similar on Amazon, so I put one in my cart.  Would love to hear any other boardies experience/brand they use.  Also, my husband wouldn't be able to hear it?

The one I use says ‘fultext’ on the front. It was just a cheap one on Amazon and I love it for bedtime listening. I put on a book and a sleep timer so I’m not looking at any screens for that last 30-60 minutes before sleep.
 

It’s easy to fall asleep with this style headphones and nobody else can hear them. I do sometimes forget to set the sleep timer and have to rewind a bit to figure out where I was when I fell asleep. 

[TexasProud]

56 minutes ago, Bambam said:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01CKEBFSE

 

54 minutes ago, KungFuPanda said:

The one I use says ‘fultext’ on the front. It was just a cheap one on Amazon and I love it for bedtime listening. I put on a book and a sleep timer so I’m not looking at any screens for that last 30-60 minutes before sleep.
 

It’s easy to fall asleep with this style headphones and nobody else can hear them. I do sometimes forget to set the sleep timer and have to rewind a bit to figure out where I was when I fell asleep. 

Thanks. I put them in my cart.

[elegantlion]

One thing I noticed is that you're doing a lot of creative processes during the day. That's great, but I've noticed a trend for people doing that kind of work - about 5 hours a day is peak efficiency. So if you're losing momentum by early afternoon and by 7pm, combined with not enough sleep, that is totally normal. 

I agree about having a sleep study. 

You mentioned dance, why not find a group to join? 

I would also consider what are your peak effeciency hours. Mine are about 9 to 2. I schedule in the deep thinking tasks here. Then for the other work hours I schedule less mentally strenuous activities, like emails, updating, reading, etc. When my stress or anxiety levels are up, I find that taking a 30 minute nap can recharge me. 

For reference, I'm working part-time as a research assistant while writing my dissertation. I'm currently doing translation work for my paid job and after about 4 hours of that, my brain is just through working. So, I've scheduled out doing that work 3 days a week, so I can use my peak hours for my dissertation on the other two. 

 

 

[marbel]

In your typical day, is there any time for something that's just fun/enjoyable for you? I saw you had some time in there for reading, but I am wondering if that is reading for pleasure or for edification, or related to your writing/podcast work. Do you do anything you just do for the joy of it? I find my life is better when I have some time in my day for a pleasurable pursuit of my own. For me, watching TV with my husband is fine, but it doesn't "count" for me if that makes sense. I like time for my own pursuits, even if it is only half an hour in the day/evening. 

[maize]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

I guess you didn't see that on M/W/F  my husband and I walk at 6:30.  My friend and I walk on T/TH at 7.  Hubby and I walk 3.5-4 miles.  My friend and I walk closer to 3.  I normally take 11,000- 15,000 steps a day.  I think regenetude wants me to do more physical stuff like pulling weeds or weights or something. 

But again, I do this because THEY do it.  With my husband gone for a month and my friend gone for 2 weeks out of that 4, the question is will I be self-disciplined enough to do it on my own.  Probably not. 

One key to happiness is doing things that you enjoy in the doing. It's not about disciplining oneself to do stuff bevause it is "good for you" or some other reason. 

I walk because I enjoy walking. 

What do you enjoy doing? 

[TexasProud]

7 minutes ago, maize said:

One key to happiness is doing things that you enjoy in the doing. It's not about disciplining oneself to do stuff bevause it is "good for you" or some other reason. 

I walk because I enjoy walking. 

What do you enjoy doing? 

That is the magic question, isn't it?  I do enjoy walking. Sometimes I like being by myself, sometimes listening to a podcast, or talking with my husband.  But lying on the couch, it feels like too much effort if I am alone. 

Since I am so completely outwardly motivated, it is hard to know what I like or what I think is fun if there is no one's reaction to gauge.

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[Danae]

Why are all your books non-fiction?  Have you tried reading fiction when you need a break from productive activities?

[TexasProud]

5 minutes ago, Danae said:

Why are all your books non-fiction?  Have you tried reading fiction when you need a break from productive activities?

I am pretty picky when it comes to fiction and have trouble finding fiction I like:

I don't want any cuss words or sex scenes.
I also hate nearly all Christian fiction with its cheesy, wrap everything up in a bow plots, etc.
I despise the romance genre. 
 

I like classic literature.  I also like good TA fiction like Anne of Green Gables, Secret Garden, Harry Potter, etc.  I spent last summer reading most of Kate DiCamillo's books. So good. 

[Danae]

21 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I am pretty picky when it comes to fiction and have trouble finding fiction I like:

I don't want any cuss words or sex scenes.
I also hate nearly all Christian fiction with its cheesy, wrap everything up in a bow plots, etc.
I despise the romance genre. 
 

I like classic literature.  I also like good TA fiction like Anne of Green Gables, Secret Garden, Harry Potter, etc.  I spent last summer reading most of Kate DiCamillo's books. So good. 

That makes sense.  The defining feature of the romance genre is the happy ending, and I can see why that might be very unsettling to you.  
 

[fairfarmhand]

Is there a ymca néar you? I love their dance classes and their pool aerobics classes are challenging but since they’re in a pool you don’t really get sweaty. Also the fact that we’re paying for it means that I make a point to go. And you could meet some people there.

[TexasProud]

3 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

Is there a ymca néar you? I love their dance classes and their pool aerobics classes are challenging but since they’re in a pool you don’t really get sweaty. Also the fact that we’re paying for it means that I make a point to go. And you could meet some people there.

No.  In fact, nearly all of the universities near us have closed their pools.  The local homeschool swim team is having a hard time figuring out where to practice.  I am guessing they have to go an hour or more away. 

[wintermom]

4 hours ago, TexasProud said:

We typically walk 3-4 miles in that walk.  I hate exercise.  I am doing really well to do this and fear I will not do it when he is in Africa.  As a girl I danced, and I have tons of tapes. I cannot make myself do it.  Sometimes I do an additional walk on our property, but not this time of year when the temps are mid-nineties to one hundred. 

Fair enough. I'm a big fan of doing things that we enjoy. If physical activity isn't something you think you enjoy, then perhaps something like gardening might be of interest. It's a great way to be outside and moving the old body. Bodies really do hate to be stationary.

One sleep aid that I've just started using (as my ds has been using this tool for years) is listening to relaxing music. I put an ear bud in one side so I can still sleep on my side. It's phenomenal in drowning out all the other "noise" my brain creates which makes it hard for me to sleep. 

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

4 hours ago, TexasProud said:

Interesting. Those are only in UK.  I found something similar on Amazon, so I put one in my cart.  Would love to hear any other boardies experience/brand they use.  Also, my husband wouldn't be able to hear it?

I have some and use them when DH is snoring too much or just doesn’t want to hear my ASMR true crime lol.  They work great. These are the ones I use: 

https://www.amazon.com/MUSICOZY-Headphones-Breathable-Bluetooth-Headband/dp/B09GY888KC/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?crid=JCDUWQ8W3Q9D&keywords=bluetooth+sleep+mask&qid=1688825585&sprefix=bluetooth+sleep+mask%2Caps%2C128&sr=8-3

He can’t hear anything, it blocks out a lot of his snoring and also works great to block out sunlight when I’ve worked a busy night shift and need to sleep. 

[TexasProud]

7 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Fair enough. I'm a big fan of doing things that we enjoy. If physical activity isn't something you think you enjoy, then perhaps something like gardening might be of interest. It's a great way to be outside and moving the old body. Bodies really do hate to be stationary.

No, we have a big place with tons of flower beds. I spent so many years weeding them because I had to or dragging the water hose to the trees in the orchard or weeding the corn and such.  I also have to be careful because I am allergic to poison ivy and I tend to break out if I work outside. 

I know... I am making excuses.  I just literally do not like anything where I have to move anymore.  I will do it because I should and because it is good for me.  I need to do some weight bearing stuff as my bone density is going down.  I really should.  

But to do something for the pure joy of it.  No.  Won't happen. 

[wintermom]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

No, we have a big place with tons of flower beds. I spent so many years weeding them because I had to or dragging the water hose to the trees in the orchard or weeding the corn and such.  I also have to be careful because I am allergic to poison ivy and I tend to break out if I work outside. 

I know... I am making excuses.  I just literally do not like anything where I have to move anymore.  I will do it because I should and because it is good for me.  I need to do some weight bearing stuff as my bone density is going down.  I really should.  

But to do something for the pure joy of it.  No.  Won't happen. 

Why do you "hate to move?" Is it due to pain? When I get to that stage it's exactly because I'm moving too little. Frequent bouts of gentle stretching, walking, and even simply swaying to music really loosens up all those stiff joints and tight muscles. 

Maybe a small raised container garden would be fun? Something that's managable so there won't be the overwhelming factor with your orchard. I'm super jealous of you having an orchard. That is so cool!!

[TexasProud]

16 minutes ago, wintermom said:

Why do you "hate to move?" Is it due to pain? When I get to that stage it's exactly because I'm moving too little. Frequent bouts of gentle stretching, walking, and even simply swaying to music really loosens up all those stiff joints and tight muscles. 

Maybe a small raised container garden would be fun? Something that's managable so there won't be the overwhelming factor with your orchard. I'm super jealous of you having an orchard. That is so cool!!

Nope.  I know I am super lucky. I am 56 and have almost no health issues. And maybe hate to move is the wrong way to put it.  I loved being in Africa or in college where I walked everywhere. I like that. I did enjoy dancing, but I am so much bigger and clumsier.  I am currently learning the choreography to VBS to teach the kids next week...  It has been 5 or more years since I did this.  I used to always be doing it when I taught elementary music in the Christian school and before that led my children's choir for 20 years.  I can tell how much older and slower I am now. I know they are going to take videos and I am dreading it.  I hate, hate, hate the way I look. 

But yeah moving just for the sake of exercise rather than it having a real purpose, not a fan.

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[Melissa in Australia]

What about sewing? With a treadle sewing machine? It is excersise and productive all at the same time. You could make stuff for charity if you don't need anything for yourself

[wintermom]

8 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Nope.  I know I am super lucky. I am 56 and have almost no health issues. And maybe hate to move is the wrong way to put it.  I loved being in Africa or in college where I walked everywhere. I like that. I did enjoy dancing, but I am so much bigger and clumsier.  I am currently learning the choreography to VBS to teach the kids next week...  It has been 5 or more years since I did this.  I used to always be doing it when I taught elementary music in the Christian school and before that led my children's choir for 20 years.  I can tell how much older and slower I am now. I know they are going to take videos and I am dreading it.  I hate, hate, hate the way I look. 

But yeah moving just for the sake of exercise rather than it having a real purpose, not a fan.

You seem to be very clever at creating purpose for the rest of your day. Maybe creating ways to walk as many places as you can that have purpose, like parking far away from the entrance to stores, walking stairs instead of taking elevators, walking from big box store to big box store instead of driving the car, etc. 

If you feel old, slow and heavy, then increasing the steps you take everyday will help. I'm not a fan, but lots of people love counting their daily steps. They "walk" through Europe, join walking challenges, etc. 

[TexasProud]

4 minutes ago, Melissa in Australia said:

What about sewing? With a treadle sewing machine? It is excersise and productive all at the same time. You could make stuff for charity if you don't need anything for yourself

Yeah.. I have a sewing machine.  My mom made all of my prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, dance costumes, etc.  I have tried several times but failed even when my mom was trying to teach me. ( My sister, got the genes.  My great grandmother earned money from sewing wedding dresses, bridesmaid dresses or anything you wanted.  I got new handmade Easter dresses every year. I missed that gene as my husband teases me and recounts the disasters when I tried... 

[TexasProud]

2 minutes ago, wintermom said:

You seem to be very clever at creating purpose for the rest of your day. Maybe creating ways to walk as many places as you can that have purpose, like parking far away from the entrance to stores, walking stairs instead of taking elevators, walking from big box store to big box store instead of driving the car, etc. 

If you feel old, slow and heavy, then increasing the steps you take everyday will help. I'm not a fan, but lots of people love counting their daily steps. They "walk" through Europe, join walking challenges, etc. 

Yes, I do all of that.  AS I said, I get between 11,0000 and 15,000 steps a day.  Some days close to 20,000.  Of course that is when hubby and friend are here as 7,000 of those steps are my walking.  So if I don't do that, I would get much, much less. 

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[KSera]

4 hours ago, TexasProud said:

I will go in October for my yearly bloodwork.  It looks like he hasn't specifically tested for iron though has done a blood workup.  My RDW is borderline high at 14.7 percent. My TSH is between 1.2 and 1.5. My liver function tests were not great last time, though he didn't mention it. ALT was 49. 

Is there a reason you have to wait all the way until October? With a high-ish RDW and no iron panel, it’s worth getting that done in case low iron accounts for some of your issues. 

[TexasProud]

18 minutes ago, KSera said:

Is there a reason you have to wait all the way until October? With a high-ish RDW and no iron panel, it’s worth getting that done in case low iron accounts for some of your issues. 

No, I will probably schedule it earlier, though I will be shocked if it is low to be honest.  

Edited to add scheduled for July 26.

Edited July 8, 2023 by TexasProud

[KSera]

9 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

No, I will probably schedule it earlier, though I will be shocked if it is low to be honest.  

Edited to add scheduled for July 26.

Make sure they run ferritin in addition to the other things. For some reason I can’t understand, many doctors leave that off.