Going grey -- has anyone recently stopped coloring dark hair?

[Shelydon]

Although I color my hair at home, I'm getting tired of the upkeep and considering letting my hair go grey. My biggest concern is that the gray is coming in very patchy, rather than all over. Has anyone gone great recently, any tips?

[Scarlett]

29 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

Although I color my hair at home, I'm getting tired of the upkeep and considering letting my hair go grey. My biggest concern is that the gray is coming in very patchy, rather than all over. Has anyone gone great recently, any tips?

I have the skunk line if I let it go.  
 

Sorry hit enter too soon.  Most at home coloring is pretty harsh.  My hair stylist uses a semi perm on me that  works as well as can be expected.  I go in every 6-8 weeks but it is not an expensive color job.  About $60 plus tip for cut color style.  In between on days I feel like I look too skunky I use the spray stuff for my skunk line.  It is really amazing.  

If, or when I decide to stop coloring I will have my stylist do some sort of blend in if I feel like it is not too damaging on my hair.  If it is too damaging…all I have is hats through the worst of it.  I have long hair too.  To my bra line.

Edited March 13, 2023 by Scarlett

[history-fan]

50 minutes ago, Shelydon said:

Although I color my hair at home, I'm getting tired of the upkeep and considering letting my hair go grey. My biggest concern is that the gray is coming in very patchy, rather than all over. Has anyone gone great recently, any tips?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXZbxUNt7XM&t=409s

This woman has a lot of videos about going gray, what her experience was.

[Melanie32]

I am a former poster who has lurked her for years. When I saw your question I had to create an account so I could answer. I naturally have very dark brown hair and I went gray nearly 4 years ago. My hair now is streaked gray/silver and brown. The transition period was a little tough but I’m so glad I did it! 
 

I get more compliments on my hair now than I ever have in my life. Complete strangers stop me all the time to compliment my hair. They think I dye it to look like this. Several of my friends have quit dying as well and they all look great! 
 

I’ve always had long hair and I still do. It’s about down to my bra strap. I didn’t do anything to transition from dyed to gray hair. I just let it happen naturally. I did use semi permanent dye before going grey so that made my skunk line less severe than it would have been had I used permanent dye. You could always use semi for a while and then have your stylist blur the line so it’s not so drastic. 
 

If I could go back, I would never have dyed my hair in the first place. I think silver/gray hair is beautiful when taken care of and am so glad that society is starting to recognize that fact as well. 

 

[Shelydon]

17 minutes ago, Melanie32 said:

I am a former poster who has lurked her for years. When I saw your question I had to create an account so I could answer. I naturally have very dark brown hair and I went gray nearly 4 years ago. My hair now is streaked gray/silver and brown. The transition period was a little tough but I’m so glad I did it! 
 

I get more compliments on my hair now than I ever have in my life. Complete strangers stop me all the time to compliment my hair. They think I dye it to look like this. Several of my friends have quit dying as well and they all look great! 
 

I’ve always had long hair and I still do. It’s about down to my bra strap. I didn’t do anything to transition from dyed to gray hair. I just let it happen naturally. I did use semi permanent dye before going grey so that made my skunk line less severe than it would have been had I used permanent dye. You could always use semi for a while and then have your stylist blur the line so it’s not so drastic. 
 

If I could go back, I would never have dyed my hair in the first place. I think silver/gray hair is beautiful when taken care of and am so glad that society is starting to recognize that fact as well. 

 

Thank you. I currently use a permanent dye every 6 weeks. I also wish I had not ever colored my hair.  Maybe I can switch to semipermanent for awhile to see what is actually under the brunette color. 

 

I have wondered if a color stripping shampoo would be beneficial. 

[MEmama]

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

 

 

 

[Shelydon]

1 hour ago, Scarlett said:

I have the skunk line if I let it go.  
 

Sorry hit enter too soon.  Most at home coloring is pretty harsh.  My hair stylist uses a semi perm on me that  works as well as can be expected.  I go in every 6-8 weeks but it is not an expensive color job.  About $60 plus tip for cut color style.  In between on days I feel like I look too skunky I use the spray stuff for my skunk line.  It is really amazing.  

If, or when I decide to stop coloring I will have my stylist do some sort of blend in if I feel like it is not too damaging on my hair.  If it is too damaging…all I have is hats through the worst of it.  I have long hair too.  To my bra line.

I have been using Madison Reed and have really liked it. My stylist has been impressed with the coverage and color. Here a single process color is $100. My hair cut is $65. 

I'll check out the spray on color. The crown of my hair is going to be shocking I think. 

[Shelydon]

3 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

 

 

 

I have heard of this but didn't know if anyone that has used it for brown hair. Thanks!

[JennyD]

I'm going to try that color conditioner as well.  Thanks for the suggestion!

Several times a year I get lowlights, which make for a more gradual transition and less of a line as they grow out, but they are expensive and take for.ever.  I've tried letting it grow in gray but it looks awful.  I have very wavy, frizzy hair and gray just tips the whole look over the line from "(hopefully) cute" to "witch."

I don't want to color it forever but I also don't have a good plan for letting it grow in gray.   I think I'd need a different hairstyle, but my hair doesn't cooperate with all that many different options.  

 

 

 

[Scarlett]

22 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

 

 

 

I am with you girl. I just don’t think I am ready for it.  And my husband would prefer I not go grey.  He is tall and always notices my grey line first.  My sister looks stunning with her beautiful silver long bob.  But I just don’t think it would look that way on me.  

[Scarlett]

28 minutes ago, MEmama said:

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

 

 

 

Thank you for the link.  I wonder what the difference between espresso and chocolate brown is?  My hair is naturally very dark. Used to be closer to black but now is more medium dark brown because of all the grey coverage now. 

[elegantlion]

I let mine go grey a few years ago. Before, I had been using at-home permanent color. My natural color has faded - it was dark brunette with reddish highlights-  and I have a few grey streaks that are more noticeable when I wear my hair up. My mom has beautiful white hair but my grandmother only had a few grey streaks for her entire life and lived until age 94. 
 

[stephanier.1765]

I don't do it at home but my stylist is doing a blend of my gray with my highlights. My hair is naturally, or was naturally, a very dark brown. She uses a blonde-ish highlight to help disguise the gray so as the highlights starts to grow out it doesn't have a harsh line since my new color is still a blend of gray and brown. If I didn't still have so much brown left, I'd probably let it go gray but for now it just looks mousy on its own. Good luck, this is a hard juggle of options to find what looks best on you.

[Jann in TX]

I had my youngest at almost 40-- first patch of grey a few years later.  I have one particular spot on my left side that was white-- everything else was a dark brown/red highlights... it looked out of place!  I tried all over color but hated the 'line' on that one side that appeared after the 2nd week.  I switched to highlights and low lights every 8-10 weeks and was VERY pleased with that for many years.

Covid hit my daughters senior year-- perfect time for the transition to no more color!

I'm now nearing 60 and I'm embracing my grey-- I'm about 50% grey now-- still have that one bright streak but it looks cool now and not out of place!  I've had several people ask me where I get my streaks done at because they look so natural!

 

[Melanie32]

I wanted to add that during the transition, it was hard. My hair texture was off from dye damage and I really didn’t like it for a year or so. I did learn some tricks that really helped and the more it grew out, the more I loved it! 
 

I use good conditioning shampoo and conditioner because it is more coarse and needs extra conditioning. I also use a purple shampoo once a week. I use a curl air brush to shape it and make it shiny and I use a good leave in conditioner as well. Once I figured out how to treat my gray hair properly, it was a game changer. 
 

I really think it just takes a good bit of time and trial and error to see what works best for you. 😊

[Carol in Cal.]

I have reddish strawberry blond hair, on the dark side, and I started having it colored years ago because it has always been a big part of my identity.  (That’s pretty common with redheads, I understand).

During Covid I let that go for a long time.  Since my hair is longish, if I wore it down the colored part of it would dominate, at least on Zoom.  I was interested to see that some areas like at the top of my head that had formerly come in naturally in a very ugly dark gray color are now coming in almost white.  I like white hair a lot better than that gray, so I was happy to see this.  I am not ready to go natural yet, but when I do it’s comforting to know that it will be white rather than depressing dark gray.

[MEmama]

36 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

Thank you for the link.  I wonder what the difference between espresso and chocolate brown is?  My hair is naturally very dark. Used to be closer to black but now is more medium dark brown because of all the grey coverage now. 

Idk, I went with what I *think* is the darker shade and since it looks right for me I haven't tried the chocolate.

For reference, this is dumb photo of me contorting myself weirdly to get a selfie of my hair color

[Pawz4me]

12 minutes ago, Melanie32 said:

I use a curl air brush to shape it and make it shiny and I use a good leave in conditioner as well

 

Do you mind sharing? I’ve been looking for a good leave in but haven’t found a truly great one yet. 

[Scarlett]

20 minutes ago, MEmama said:

Idk, I went with what I *think* is the darker shade and since it looks right for me I haven't tried the chocolate.

For reference, this is dumb photo of me contorting myself weirdly to get a selfie of my hair color

Thank you.  That looks similar to my hair color.  Cute pic. 

[Garga]

5 hours ago, MEmama said:

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

Right now I have an awesome little streak of white in the front of my hairline and I love it. I’ve gotten so many compliments on it over the years. However, lately, I’ve noticed grey starting to show up all over my head now (if you zoom to the right side of the picture, you can see more gray in my hair.)

I’ve wondered what to do, but really don’t want to have to start using dye. I’ve also wondered if I could cover everything except for the streak in the front. Thank you so much for posting that link! That’s exactly the sort of thing I would want to use, rather than dyes, when the time comes to cover my newly emerging gray. 

 

Edited March 13, 2023 by Garga

[Sneezyone]

I am salt/pepper all over the top of my head with a big streak upfront. I love it! My SIL called it brave. I call it normal. If I want a change, I don a wig. I’ve been au naturelle and non-dyed for 2 years but only eve used semi-perm dyes to begin with. I didn’t have a big transition, I just let the dye wash out.

[matrips]

4 hours ago, Scarlett said:

 In between on days I feel like I look too skunky I use the spray stuff for my skunk line.  It is really amazing

Can you take a pic of the brand of spray you use?  I tried a spray-on color once and it left my hair so stiff and unnatural. 
I use Madison Reed and it seems to work well but my grey hair grows in so fast.  Need to cover around my forehead/ears/part line. Thanks 

[marbel]

FWIW... I had colored my hair for 35+ years, after I got tired of the grey streak in front which started when I was in my 20s. I only stopped when pregnant (which happened when I was 41 and 42) so rarely saw my natural hair. I did it at home with permanent dye, mostly, because the expense of salon color annoyed me (and at some points was just more money than I could spend).

Anyway, I stopped coloring during covid. My hair is short but it still seemed to take forever to grow out. If I'd been a little bolder, I would have gotten it cut really short to hasten the process, but I didn't. 

Now I am like 95% white with some very dark brown/black streaks which is weird because my natural color was medium brown. 

I am so happy I stopped coloring. I have had some moments of regret that I never saw the full transition from brown to grey to white.  I just feel like I missed out on a process that would have been good *for me* to experience.  YMMV on that, as always. 

One thing though: the color gave my hair body and kept the frizz down. I need to keep up better with haircuts because the added body from color made it less noticeable when I needed a cut. I tried a clear glaze but it didn't do anything except make my eyes itch. I'm sure a salon procedure would help but again, not willing to spend the $$$. 

Overall though. I'm glad I stopped. But I'm not telling anyone to stop because we all have different feelings about looks and hair. Just relating my experience with stopping. 

 

Edited March 13, 2023 by marbel

[Corraleno]

My natural color is dark blonde and I've always had highlights, so as I've gone gray I've just changed the tone of the highlights from more of a warm honey blonde to a lighter, slightly ashier blonde, to help the gray blend in. But my grays are pretty light, with a lot of white near my face.

My biggest issue with gray hair is texture — my hair used to be really thick (in both senses — thick hairshaft, plus lots of it), but now it's super fine and seems to break really easily. But I still have tons of hair and it's wavy, so the combo of super-fine flyaway hair + the frizziness of gray + waviness + lots of it = really hard to manage! I feel like I need to either cut it short so I can just scrunch it up and let it dry curly, or grow it longer so there'll be more weight to pull it down (it's currently just past shoulder length). But I don't really want to mess with long long hair, and I found the upkeep on short curly hair ("curly girl" maintenance routine + frequent cuts) kind of a pain.

I would LOVE some suggestions for products to (1) strengthen & protect fine, fragile hair so it doesn't break so easily and (2) help weigh down frizzy, flyaway hair without making it look greasy. I've tried salon "glossing" treatments, which look great for about a week and then the effect seems to wear off.

[SKL]

4 hours ago, Melanie32 said:

I am a former poster who has lurked her for years. When I saw your question I had to create an account so I could answer. I naturally have very dark brown hair and I went gray nearly 4 years ago. My hair now is streaked gray/silver and brown. The transition period was a little tough but I’m so glad I did it! 
 

I get more compliments on my hair now than I ever have in my life. Complete strangers stop me all the time to compliment my hair. They think I dye it to look like this. Several of my friends have quit dying as well and they all look great! 
 

I’ve always had long hair and I still do. It’s about down to my bra strap. I didn’t do anything to transition from dyed to gray hair. I just let it happen naturally. I did use semi permanent dye before going grey so that made my skunk line less severe than it would have been had I used permanent dye. You could always use semi for a while and then have your stylist blur the line so it’s not so drastic. 
 

If I could go back, I would never have dyed my hair in the first place. I think silver/gray hair is beautiful when taken care of and am so glad that society is starting to recognize that fact as well.

My sister-in-law stopped coloring her hair, and it was really beautiful gray!  She was pleasantly surprised at all the genuine compliments.

I have never colored my hair, nor do I intend to.  I like to say I earned every white hair and I'm proud of each one.  😛 

[QueenCat]

The front of my head is grey, the back is brown. I will continue to have it colored for the foreseeable future. I can't imagine that changing for another decade. I have root touch-ups done every 5 weeks. I have it cut at the same time. Those things, along with a smoothing treatment, cost me around $180 with the tip, every 5 weeks. Dh knows that it's a non-negotiable part of the budget until I decide differently. And I don't argue about keeping cable tv. 

[MercyA]

54 minutes ago, matrips said:

Can you take a pic of the brand of spray you use?  I tried a spray-on color once and it left my hair so stiff and unnatural. 
I use Madison Reed and it seems to work well but my grey hair grows in so fast.  Need to cover around my forehead/ears/part line. Thanks 

Not Scarlett, obv, but I sometimes use this powder in between coloring and it works great:

Clairol Root Touch Up Concealing Powder

For me, it's easier than spray to get it exactly where I want it and it's never stiff.

My hair grows in so fast that lately I've been coloring it every week and a half with this:

L'Oreal Magic Root Rescue 10 Minute Coloring Kit

It is *so* much easier and quicker to use than my usual at home color, and I find that there is enough in the bottle to cover the roots all over my head. Once every 4-6 months I do my whole head with a regular box, but I really like this product for keeping up with the grays. My stylist SIL says that whatever I'm using, I should keep using. 🙂 

Sorry for the rabbit trail. 

Edited March 13, 2023 by MercyA

[AngelaGT]

Yes, no lowlights since last Thanksgiving.

Absolutely loving the authentic me and the freedom!

[Scarlett]

54 minutes ago, matrips said:

Can you take a pic of the brand of spray you use?  I tried a spray-on color once and it left my hair so stiff and unnatural. 
I use Madison Reed and it seems to work well but my grey hair grows in so fast.  Need to cover around my forehead/ears/part line. Thanks 

 

[Scarlett]

3 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Not Scarlett, obv, but I sometimes use this powder in between coloring and it works great:

Clairol Root Touch Up Concealing Powder

For me, it's easier than spray to get it exactly where I want it and it's never stiff.

My hair grows in so fast that lately I've been coloring it every week and a half with this:

L'Oreal Magic Root Rescue 10 Minute Coloring Kit

It is *so* much easier and quicker to use than my usual at home color, and I find that there is enough in the bottle to cover the roots all over my head. Once every 4-6 months I do my whole head with a regular box, but I really like this product for keeping up with the grays. 

 

I think those will mess with the color that the hairstylist puts on you. The one that I posted a picture of is simply spray. That washes out.

[Scarlett]

57 minutes ago, matrips said:

Can you take a pic of the brand of spray you use?  I tried a spray-on color once and it left my hair so stiff and unnatural. 
I use Madison Reed and it seems to work well but my grey hair grows in so fast.  Need to cover around my forehead/ears/part line. Thanks 

I only spray it on the top of my head after about four weeks. And then I only use it when I’m going somewhere that I care. I run my hands through my hair a lot when it’s not in braids, and I hate the way the spray feels. But it does the trick as far as lengthening the time between a visits to the hairdresser.

[MercyA]

5 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I think those will mess with the color that the hairstylist puts on you. The one that I posted a picture of is simply spray. That washes out.

I linked two products. The powder is completely temporary and washes right out. The root touch-up kit is permanent. I do all my coloring at home. After coloring it myself during the pandemic I can't go back to paying $$$ for color! 

Edited March 13, 2023 by MercyA

[Scarlett]

Just now, MercyA said:

I linked two products. The powder is completely temporary and washes right out. The root touch-up kit is permanent. I do all my coloring at home. After the pandemic I can't go back to paying $$$ for color! 

OK thanks for clarifying. I’m sorry I seem so short and my post to you about it.

[MercyA]

@Scarlett it's all good. 🙂 

[vonfirmath]

I've never gotten in the habit of coloring my hair. I wonder if that will affect how it looks as it goes gray. I guess we'll see.

 

[matrips]

32 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I only spray it on the top of my head after about four weeks. And then I only use it when I’m going somewhere that I care. I run my hands through my hair a lot when it’s not in braids, and I hate the way the spray feels. But it does the trick as far as lengthening the time between a visits to the hairdresser.

 Thanks, but drat!  That's the one I have. lol. I was hoping for a nice soft feeling one. 🙂

[matrips]

40 minutes ago, MercyA said:

Not Scarlett, obv, but I sometimes use this powder in between coloring and it works great:

Clairol Root Touch Up Concealing Powder

For me, it's easier than spray to get it exactly where I want it and it's never stiff.

My hair grows in so fast that lately I've been coloring it every week and a half with this:

L'Oreal Magic Root Rescue 10 Minute Coloring Kit

It is *so* much easier and quicker to use than my usual at home color, and I find that there is enough in the bottle to cover the roots all over my head. Once every 4-6 months I do my whole head with a regular box, but I really like this product for keeping up with the grays. My stylist SIL says that whatever I'm using, I should keep using. 🙂 

Sorry for the rabbit trail. 

Thanks.  I do have a concealing powder but I think I have the wrong color and need a darker one because it gives me a two toned look. Yes, the Root Rescue is awesome! It does a good job. I just wish my gray didn't start appearing a week after coloring my hair. 

[Lori D.]

Alas, I am NOT like most of the posters above, where the gray looks great and the transition looks great.

I am going gray at a very slow rate, and it looks like a layer of ash has settled on my head, which makes me look old and ill. So NOT who I am on the inside, and I am NOT interested in having people keep asking "have you been ill?" 😉

My stylist has been doing Redken "Shades" for me for the past 15 years, which adheres best to the gray, so I have a lovely shiny highlighting look, rather than a dull/dark dyed look. It costs me $150/visit for cut and color, and I go in about every 11-12 weeks. "Shades fades out slowly all over, so I never get a "skunk" line.

Also, the "Shades" helps coat the hair shafts, so the gray isn't all weird and frizzy. I have very fine, thin, flat hair, and those weird gray hairs are completely unmanageable and make me look like a crazy bag lady... 😫

I know that doesn't really answer Oper's question, but it is sometimes nice to have alternative perspectives and experiences. 😉

Edited March 14, 2023 by Lori D.

[Terabith]

I'm only just starting to get a few stray gray hairs around my temple, but my kids have used Overtone for dyeing their hair for years, and they absolutely love it!

[lmrich]

My grey looks like highlights so I am leaving it alone for now. I have several big events next year, so I  may start coloring it then. 

I don't mind the  color, but  I  hate the texture. I  used  to have straight, full hair that was shiny.  Now it is  curly and frizzy  and a little coarse. I used to towel dry it and leave it  alone, brush it, and it was fine. For the first  time in my life, I have hair  products besides shampoo and conditioner. 

[Shelydon]

4 hours ago, Lori D. said:

Alas, I am NOT like most of the posters above, where the gray looks great and the transition looks great.

I am going gray at a very slow rate, and it looks like a layer of ash has settled on my head, which makes me look old and ill. So NOT who I am on the inside, and I am NOT interested in having people keep asking "have you been ill?" 😉

My stylist has been doing Redken "Shades" for me for the past 15 years, which adheres best to the gray, so I have a lovely shiny highlighting look, rather than a dull/dark dyed look. It costs me $150/visit for cut and color, and I go in about every 11-12 weeks. "Shades fades out slowly all over, so I never get a "skunk" line.

Also, the "Shades" helps coat the hair shafts, so the gray isn't all weird and frizzy. I have very fine, thin, flat hair, and those weird gray hairs are completely unmanageable and make me look like a crazy bag lady... 😫

I know that doesn't really answer Oper's question, but it is sometimes nice to have alternative perspectives and experiences. 😉

That is a good option. Thank you!

[Melanie32]

12 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

Do you mind sharing? I’ve been looking for a good leave in but haven’t found a truly great one yet. 

I use this one or the Walmart knock off of it: 

 

[KungFuPanda]

My grandmother had the most beautiful silver-gray hair. I did not get her hair. My mother did. My daughter did. I was robbed. I have enjoyed being a curly redhead, but I will go white and I have no idea how to manage that. My first white hairs popped up over the pandemic. I’m pretending they’re not there. 

[Guest]

19 hours ago, MEmama said:

I stopped dying my dark brown hair last spring and **hated** it. I gave it the better part of a year--I truly tried to "embrace the grey" but honestly it looked awful and added to my depression. It was so, so very ugly, and it made me look old in a way that doesn't match who I am. I know it's not popular to admit it, but there it is. My experience, my feelings. 

I didn't necessarily want to go back to dying it, though, for various reasons. Then I discovered Overtone color depositing conditioner and I haven't looked back. They make a line specifically for brown hair and it's amazing. I use the Espresso (my natural hair color) when I want it to look natural, and the purple when I want to be more fun. 🙂 It's a conditioner so it doesn't damage hair, it's vegan and all that good stuff, washes out and makes my hair super soft. IME it covers the greys really well, though as expected my white patch is a bit lighter. I don't care if every strand is colored, I just have no interest in looking 10 years older than I am.

https://overtone.co/collections/shop-by-color-brown

 

 

 

My experience was similar. I thought I wanted to embrace the grey but then I was trying to re-enter the work force and ageism was already an apparent issue. I did not want to look *older* than 50, even if I do not care to fool anyone into thinking I’m 30. The hair makes a big difference. I looked at public persons (Nancy Pelosi; Dr. Jill Biden…) who are older but who don’t straight away convey that. I realized I wanted to be more like that, at least for five more years or so. 
 

It requires a lot of attention though, so I don’t really blame anyone who can’t be effed with that, lol. I have a salon procedure but I touch up roots every four-five weeks at home. I use Madison Reed color because it works beautifully and applies well. 
 

I also have a little cosmetic called WOW. It looks like an eyeshadow compact but it’s a quick fix to cover root growth in a pinch. Tedious but effective. 

[Laura Corin]

8 minutes ago, Quill said:

My experience was similar. I thought I wanted to embrace the grey but then I was trying to re-enter the work force and ageism was already an apparent issue. I did not want to look *older* than 50, even if I do not care to fool anyone into thinking I’m 30. The hair makes a big difference. I looked at public persons (Nancy Pelosi; Dr. Jill Biden…) who are older but who don’t straight away convey that. I realized I wanted to be more like that, at least for five more years or so. 
 

I think that it also depends on industry and role.  I had greying hair when I started back into the workforce at 47 and was greyer again when I changed job at 49, 52 and 54 - each being a career progression.  I made sure that I had a great hair cut, classic clothes and proof on my CV that my skills were up to date.  My first job was retail, second administration in the building trade, and third and fourth in academic administration.  I am job searching again and have been growing my hair out; I will be having a good hair cut again.

[Harriet Vane]

Coming late to the party and haven't read the thread, but I will share my experience.

I started going gray when I was in fifth grade. When I went to college, I had a prominent streak in my forelock, and everyone thought I dyed it that way on purpose. The streak looked incredible in a French braid. My first pregnancy pushed me into a heavily salt-and-pepper phase, and my second pregnancy completed the transformation. My hair has been completely white since my late twenties. I have been complimented many, many times for my hair color. Once it turned all white, I embraced white hair as a nice feature to have. Now that I am fifty, I'm less enamored with it but still like it well enough and still receive compliments. When I was in the salt-and-pepper phase I struggled with it. Now I'm glad I've never dealt with all the bother of coloring it.

My one worry--my dh has developed distinguished white wings on the sides above his ears. I love his white hair and think he looks great, but I've started to worry if age-ism could affect his next job. (As in, make it harder to get the next job.)

[Spy Car]

13 hours ago, Quill said:

My experience was similar. I thought I wanted to embrace the grey but then I was trying to re-enter the work force and ageism was already an apparent issue. I did not want to look *older* than 50, even if I do not care to fool anyone into thinking I’m 30. The hair makes a big difference. I looked at public persons (Nancy Pelosi; Dr. Jill Biden…) who are older but who don’t straight away convey that. I realized I wanted to be more like that, at least for five more years or so. 

While only former Speaker Pelosi's hairdresser knew for sure (okay, who are we kidding? ) the current House Minority Whip, Katherine Clark, is rocking the silver IMO.

 

 

Bill

Edited March 14, 2023 by Spy Car

[Guest]

8 minutes ago, Spy Car said:

While only former Speaker Pelosi's hairdresser knew for sure (okay, who are we kidding? ) the current House Minority Whip, Katherine Clark, is rocking the silver IMO.

 

 

Bill

Yes; she looks fabulous.