My birth story

[KSera]

4 hours ago, Dianthus said:

I remember a woman screaming down the hall when I went to the hospital for my first labor and it freaked me out.

I was having some monitoring done in triage with my first—not in labor, just some minor complications and it was the weekend so the Dr sent me to triage—and someone came in in labor and was really having a hard time. She was there a little while and I felt bad for her because of how much pain she was clearly in. Then I heard the nurse tell her she wasn’t in labor yet and sent her home 😳. Dh and I silently looked at eachother kind of wide eyed. 
 

@Elizabeth86 I love that picture of him! 🥰

[Condessa]

I have never heard that term before, but maybe experienced it with my third.  I was making such slow progress and the doctor was just checking me and saying “barely nine” when a contraction came and his heart rate dropped—and suddenly everything went into high gear, I was pushing and he was coming right that second.  The cord had tightened around his neck with that contraction, but his head was born in minutes and the doctor got the cord over his head before he came the rest of the way.  She said my body knew he was in danger so it got him out.  I am so glad to hear you are feeling well, though!  My bruising and tearing were terrible with that sudden birth.

[Carrie12345]

Congratulations!🎉 

I don’t remember all the specific details with #4, but the last check I remember had me at 7. Ds was suddenly not doing well, so my mw forced me out of the tub, told ppl to get the OR ready, and told me to try to get him out NOW, or we’d need to go get him out right away.  
(Kindly. She was with me for my previous birth, and we had a trusting relationship.)

So, I got him out! No idea how.  DID require stitches, but my body made it work. I certainly didn’t know what I was doing!

Dh walked in moments later. I had sent him home to walk the dogs when I was at 4 or so and (seeming) progressing slow all day.

I don’t love dramatic births, but I do love happy endings!

[ktgrok]

11 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

 I honestly still feel shaken up by it all.

My labor that went from "I'll need to be induced, this baby is never coming" to "Heck, are those contractions" to "why is there a baby in my arms????" was VERY intense and left me very shaken up. The people I've spoken to who have precipitous labors like that say the same. And een though yours took longer, it sounds like you were not in full blown labor, or at least didn't believe you were in full blown labor, until shortly before babe was born, so really - same thing psychologically. Transition was basically a minute, instead of a gradual longer process, and that messes with your brain! 

I said it was like being hit by a truck, it just happened so fast. It should have been easier since it was shorte,r but it was MORE intense. Like all that intensity got squished and compressed from a regular labor into just a few minutes. 

When it is that fast, you can't process in real time, so you end up processing later. You didn't get that "oh, baby is almost here" experience so it's flat out weird to actually have the baby on the outside!

11 hours ago, Elizabeth86 said:

Yes, it was wild. I just keeping replaying over with my dh because I’m in awe of what the body can do. I never would guess anything like this would ever happen.

Good! There is a lot of evidence that PTSD type stuff happens when we DON'T get to verbally process stuff. That the reason people tell war stories is to help the brain process what happened, to integrate it into ourselves. A key prevention for PTSD at this point is having people tell their story, over and over. So you are doing exactly what you need to do! Your body continues to be smart!

Also, if I had to guess, baby boy was a bit off kilter, or had a hand by his face, or something that was preventing his head from making nice, even contact with your cervix. So your body was fully prepped and ready to go, just waiting on that even pressure. As soon as he shifted or moved his hand or your change in position shifted, and he could get good pressure, your body knew what to do and was all "warmed up" and ready to fire on all cylinders! That "I'm rupturing" thing was transition, for sure. I HATE that somehow we have come to think that labor happens 1 cm at a time, instead of, as it did for you and many women, happening in "chunks". 

Also, I'm SO glad you listened to your body! My first birth was a c-section and was VERY similar to what you describe. Labor contractions that were only strong in certain positions (we knew baby had his head a bit wonky). When the nurse checked me, I was 5-6 cm, heart rate was going down with each contraction, then coming back up. They decided he was "stuck" and called for a surgeon to do a c-section. Wheile waiting for him I suddenly went into what I know NOW was transition. I started chanting over and over "I'm going to die, the baby is going to die, we are all going to die" over and over, flipped onto my hands and knees, and realized my body was pushing! I even said, "I think I'm pushing!" But because they had just checked me and I was only 5 or so cm, the midwife ignored me, and without ever checking me again they took me up for a c-section. Only later did I learn 1. his heart rate came back up and 2. it is NORMAL for it to go down as the baby goes through the tightest part of the pelvis, right before birth. For 10 years I thought I was mistaken, I wasn't pushing, baby was obviously stuck. Until I went into labor again with my DD and hit transition again, and the pushing stage, and realized it was the SAME thing I felt with my son...and this time baby was in my arms 20 minutes later. I'm convinced that had they let me keep pushing a bit longer, my son would have been born vaginally, and was about to come out. I know during surgery he was deep in the pelvis and they had to drag him back up some. SO glad that didn't happen to you!

[stephanier.1765]

Oh my gosh, I didn't even know there was a term for that. I just thought I was weird when that happened at my youngest's birth.

Thank goodness your dh knew what was happening. Going from 6 to 10 like that, you should start driving for the Daytona 500. LOL I'm so glad you guys are all well and thank you for sharing the picture. That sweet little face! He looks all ready for a snuggle. ❤️

[Kassia]

2 hours ago, ktgrok said:

 

Good! There is a lot of evidence that PTSD type stuff happens when we DON'T get to verbally process stuff. That the reason people tell war stories is to help the brain process what happened, to integrate it into ourselves. A key prevention for PTSD at this point is having people tell their story, over and over. So you are doing exactly what you need to do! Your body continues to be smart!

 

There is also research that it can be harmful as well, though.  I remember after ds2 was involved in a school shooting he was really pressured to talk about it and he didn't want to.  Years later, I read that it can be harmful to talk about trauma experienced.  Here's a link but this isn't where I read it.  https://www.unk.com/blog/no-need-to-relive-the-trauma/#:~:text=Everything.,brain%2C and embedding it deeper.

So maybe it really depends on the person.  Some people need to talk and others are better off not.  

[ktgrok]

3 hours ago, Kassia said:

There is also research that it can be harmful as well, though.  I remember after ds2 was involved in a school shooting he was really pressured to talk about it and he didn't want to.  Years later, I read that it can be harmful to talk about trauma experienced.  Here's a link but this isn't where I read it.  https://www.unk.com/blog/no-need-to-relive-the-trauma/#:~:text=Everything.,brain%2C and embedding it deeper.

So maybe it really depends on the person.  Some people need to talk and others are better off not.  

well, gee...that's not helpful - if for some they will be traumatized by NOT verbally processing it, and others traumatized BY verbally processing it! Humans sure are complex!

I guess, go with what seems to help? I do know that the verbal processing Im referring to was usually to establish yourself as the "hero" of the story in some way. So maybe it depends on how you talk about it? 

[Brittany1116]

1 hour ago, ktgrok said:

well, gee...that's not helpful - if for some they will be traumatized by NOT verbally processing it, and others traumatized BY verbally processing it! Humans sure are complex!

I guess, go with what seems to help? I do know that the verbal processing Im referring to was usually to establish yourself as the "hero" of the story in some way. So maybe it depends on how you talk about it? 

The same sister I referenced in another reply had a traumatic loss a year prior to that birth. She spoke of it once to me, the only person aside from her husband, finished explaining her feelings, then said she felt better but expected to never speak of it again.