If you have gotten burned out on homeschooling but kept at it

[teachermom2834]

did it pass? I have been homeschooling for 6 years (dc never in school). I am 100% convinced of the merits of homeschooling. I believe it is the best thing for my dc for just about every reason. I can't think of anything positive they would gain from school that they don't get at home/ co-op/ sports, etc.

I do not want to send them to school (5th gr, 3rd gr, and K).

 

But I am tired. I look at the school bus longingly just because I am tired. I want a clean house. I'm just tired of it. I would like a break.

 

I'm hoping someone can tell me that this will pass if I stick with it (kind of like that statistic that a certain percentage of people who are unhappy in their marriage say 5 yrs later that they are happy if they stick it out).

 

Or maybe someone can tell me that I will be worn out by keeping up with 3 dc in school and I won't find the peace I seek when I'm keeping up with homework for 3 dc every night.

 

I don't have any legitimate reason to give up. It would be selfish because I still really believe they are doing great at home and there is no reason to change. They love being homeschooled. They actually thank me regularly. I'm just tired. They are thriving. I'm just worn out.

 

I piece together my own curriculum. I've thought about a year of K12. Then I thought that might be worse.

 

Encouragement, anyone?

 

Marie

[Christine]

did it pass? I have been homeschooling for 6 years (dc never in school). I am 100% convinced of the merits of homeschooling. I believe it is the best thing for my dc for just about every reason. I can't think of anything positive they would gain from school that they don't get at home/ co-op/ sports, etc.

I do not want to send them to school (5th gr, 3rd gr, and K).

 

But I am tired. I look at the school bus longingly just because I am tired. I want a clean house. I'm just tired of it. I would like a break.

 

I'm hoping someone can tell me that this will pass if I stick with it (kind of like that statistic that a certain percentage of people who are unhappy in their marriage say 5 yrs later that they are happy if they stick it out).

 

Or maybe someone can tell me that I will be worn out by keeping up with 3 dc in school and I won't find the peace I seek when I'm keeping up with homework for 3 dc every night.

 

I don't have any legitimate reason to give up. It would be selfish because I still really believe they are doing great at home and there is no reason to change. They love being homeschooled. They actually thank me regularly. I'm just tired. They are thriving. I'm just worn out.

 

I piece together my own curriculum. I've thought about a year of K12. Then I thought that might be worse.

 

Encouragement, anyone?

 

Marie

 

Piecing together one's own curriculum is very time consuming / draining. So, is being a parent. And homeschooling vs. schooling. . . (I've done both). . . well, each of them are draining each in their own way.

 

Just out of curiousity, have you taken a break in the last 6 years? And your kids being "out of school" doesn't count, if you are using that time to piece curricula together, as that just reduces your work load. But, truly, have YOU taken time off?

 

I ask this because, out of the last 6 years, we schooled "year-round" for 5, and when we weren't schooling, I was planning. (We also moved 4 times in that period, amongst 3 different countries. As well as having babies. . .)

 

This past summer, I took a break. It was much needed! I felt rejuvenated.

 

I will say, getting back into the swing of things was hard, and a I feel "behind" (in my planning) alot. I think I should have managed my break better. But, school and learning are more "fun" for me now.

 

Just my thoughts. . .

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[G5052]

I homeschool, work part-time, and my dear husband is disabled, so the work never ends and there's always so much undone. Then I broke a bone in my foot 10 days ago, and DH is having a bad spell with his medical problems, so don't even ask me about Christmas preparations. I often think that if I could do one thing well, I'd be so thrilled!

 

Anyway, I maintain some sense of sanity by using largely scripted programs that allow me to combine my two children (almost 9 and 11). They each have assignment books that I update Sunday nights with all of their assignments explicitly noted (i.e. Math - Lesson 12, Spelling - p. 56, etc.), and I use Sonlight for history/lit and science. Having them more independent helps a lot, and eliminating a lot of my planning time has reduced stress.

 

And we've simplified everything from meals to activities. I still feel very, very tired of it all (especially this time of year), but we're taking two weeks off starting Monday, and that will help.

[runningirl71]

Here, I'll give you some hugs! :grouphug:

 

What you've said is true, you may be worn out if you do something different too! When my kids were younger, I did a combo of school and afterschooling. We were living overseas at the time and I put my kids in school to have a group of friends and learn the language. They schooled in English with me either before or after school. It was intense, but I did have the time they were in school to pursue other things that mattered to me.

 

For 4 years we did homeschooling only. This year I have two at home and one in school. I'm not busier doing both but our schedule is a little different. Our days are more laid back and evenings busier this year.

 

I am totally convinced that school is the best place for my oldest. I am totally convinced that home schooling is the best (for now) for my two girls. Yes, I would love a more clean home. Yes, I would love to have time for myself to pursue interests instead of being worn out by kid's schedules. Yes, I may even enjoy having a job outside the home! BUT at this season of my life, I need to do what is best for my kids. And, I know this is just a season! It will pass so quickly and then they'll be gone!

 

I say if you are convinced you are doing what is best for your kids, stick with it! You'll have plenty of time to clean the house when they are out of the house. :):grouphug:

[Tiffani]

I've been hsing for 9 years. YES, this is so normal especially this time of year. I've found that when I reach that point, I take a break. Who cares what the time of year it is....just stop now. Spend the next 3 weeks playing games, tickling and wrestling on the floor, anything fun you enjoy w/ your kids. I always feel so refreshed after the holidays. And if yours are tiring (w/ family in etc) then slowly get back into the groove.

 

Most years I also find that adding or taking away something can give life back to our hs. Sometimes we've pushed so hard in the fall that come Jan/Feb we need a break from a subject (for us it's writing). But then we'll pick it back up and it doesn't seem as rough.

 

The one thing I do fall back on is I know that I know I've been called to do this. If you KNOW that this is what you are supposed to do, stick with it. Your burnout will pass.

 

When I stop and think that I have 14 more years of this:eek: I could get totally stressed! But we take it one day at a time (and one year at a time too).

 

Take a break! And don't you dare feel guilty about it!:D

[sweetbaby]

:grouphug: Creating your own curriculum and homeschooling more than one child can be draining after a while. I hs five dc myself and I experienced this over a year ago. I didn't want to get out of bed because I was so drained. I struggled over whether to keep going and even got very behind but kept on. It will definitely pass just hang in there. The best advice that I had received was to stand back or take a break. I didn't worry about if I was behind or not at that point because my mind really needed it and it was very important to do it. Take a breather and put school down for a while, maybe an extended Christmas break but definitely get some rest. It can really help your perspective on things.

Praying for you.

[Ellie]

:grouphug:

 

Yes, it passes.

 

Usually when I felt that way I reevaluated what I was doing. Often it was because I was doing too many things outside the house during the day, or I had made rilly, rilly wrong choices in teaching materials/methods. And I usually put everything away for a short time and just goofed off with the dc :)

[Tami]

Getting burned out is part of doing something you are passionate about, and doing it day in and day out.

 

When I get burned out, I remove myself from the teaching role for a period of time, and get the house cleaned, or simply take some time off. If dd is not burned out, I have her take over her studies by doing one of two things:

http://www.christianadhd.com/learningathome.php OR

Time4Learning.com OR

a combination of these.

 

Take the time off you need. Your children can keep learning without you, or if they are also burned out, they can take a break as well.

 

Most of us are not focused on school work during the holidays. I take a full 3 weeks off to clean house and celebrate! So, it may be the busy-ness of this time of year.

 

Take care of yourself, and know that you are perfectly normal!

[ChemMommy]

Year six and seven were tough for me. It's improved significantly from that point. I'm in year ten now and definitely stronger than ever.

 

Honestly, I would buy a pre-planned curriculum that is acceptable to your family and forget about designing the "perfect" homeschool curriculum. Let that pressure go!

 

Second, I would begin to move the kids into being more independent of you in school. Identify subjects that they can do each day with minimal or no input from you. Check up only once a week on these subjects. Or let your oldest begin to plan and schedule a portion of his/her learning. This independence will really pay off when you hit high school and just cannot keep up with a full-time student in high school, two other kids, and a home!

 

Finally, don't hesitate to take a significant break from school entirely or a break from those parts of school that stress you. Get dh to stay home and let you get out of the house for a day a week. Declare a movie- day and hang out with your kids in your pjs. Play in the snow or roast marshmellows. Go to the library for "fun" reading material for yourself and your kids. Be good to yourself.

 

I friend of mine cornered me during the worst of my burn-out and gave me a huge piece of advice. She said that in her house, HER needs come first.

 

She gets the best vitamins (okay, she's a health freak), she gets a major weekly break from the house and the kids, she buys herself small reward-gifts or new books. Then, she went on to explain that this was not selfishness on her part but an acknowledgment of the importance of the mother to the home.

 

Her dh had noticed that whenever mom got sick or was run-down or stressed, the entire house began to suffer. And, he noticed that when mom was content, the kids thrived and the home was a happier place. He calculated (he's a money freak) that what they spent on mom was far less than what they lost when she was not feeling her best.

 

She ended the conversation by asking me where my needs were placed in the family hierarchy....and then she walked away. My needs were at the bottom (or maybe the sub-basement). That conversation was convicting and eye-opening. Now, when I feel stressed, I "try" to reassess where I've stuck myself in the ranking of needs. If I've been stuck on the bottom of the pile for too long, then it's time for me to tell my dh that I need a break and that it's time to shake up the family system a bit. It's help a lot.

 

So, where are your needs in the ranking of family needs? Hugs, dear sister!! Take care of yourself!

[inashoe]

Piecing together your curriculum might be very draining. I use as many ready to go curriculum as I can.

I also get the kids working independently as early as possible. If they can read, then they can

follow directions. The less help from me the more likely it will get done, then I can just focus on it

getting done well.

 

 

We have a Mom's Night Out in our area. Do you have such a support group - it is a sanity-saver for me.

Once a month just the moms meet, no kids, usually at a restaurant, sometimes at someone's

home. People order anything from a full meal, to just a drink, or dessert, or salad - the focus is on

each other. We just talk talk talk. About everything in general and nothing in particular. We have

an online group at yahoo, so we can communicate with each, put out prayer requests, or little

tit-bits of news. We get to know each other much better than we would have otherwise.

[Homemama2]

Yes, I feel like that and it's only my 2nd year hsing!

If my house is driving me crazy, I will sometimes take the day and just clean house...(or go shopping or whatever you are needing a break to do.) For my state we count how many days they do school (180). That doesn't mean it has to be the same days as ps. If you need a break definitly take it.

[Mary in GA]

Thanks for starting this thread, Marie. I am in a slump now where I feel like I am not doing a very well at any of my different areas of responsibilities. I always have these feelings to some degree this time of year, but this one is worse than others. I have so much mental inertia to overcome. If it wasn't for making up the time on the end of the school year, I would take the entire month of December off! I have been hsing for 11 years, and this feeling always clear up and I get remotivated. I have no real words of encouragement to offer; I just chug along. Thanks to everyone who who has posted. It's helpful sometimes to know others struggle too. Hugs and prayers for all!

 

Mary

[Sunshine State Sue]

We have just completed our 8th year of hs'ing. I have an only child, but have always worked part-time as well. I have noticed in the last 6 months that I am just exhausted. I think part of that is hormonal, but part of it is that I have so many demands on my time.

 

Some things that I can think of:

1. Minimizing out-of-the-house activities during school hours.

2. Finding curriculum that is not teacher intensive.

3. Outsourcing

4. Finding curriculum that can be done independently.

5. Request Dad take care of some things.

 

As ds is getting older, he is getting more independent. I find that this is a double edged sword. I enjoyed doing SOTW together. We learned so much. Now, that we are using History Odyssey, ds can do much of it on his own. I just have to check. But, it's not really fun for either of us.

 

Because I work, we schooled year round for the first 6-7 years. We always take December off. We have 2 birthdays in addition to the holidays and all that entails. But 2 years ago, we started taking a month off in the summer as well. We both needed it. Last summer, we took a month off, then did about 1/2 schedule until ps went back. It worked well.

 

This year, I had to start working 30hrs/wk in order to maintain health benefits. It's been tough. It made me realize that we will not be hs'ing high school like we have hs'ed K-now, with mom doing the majority of the teaching. I don't have the time or energy to prepare. If we continue to hs, most things will be done online or at the cc or self-study (but ds has not shown the motivation for that so far). Ds is not happy about that (doesn't like change), but having a "done" date helps me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Finally, one thing that has given me a perspective is that ds is now on the local middle school basketball team. Being in and around the school led me to realize that ds would attend there over my dead body.

[inashoe]

I just love ChenMommy's post - and so now I have to ask - what is everyone doing for themselves ? It is so easy to put our hubby, kids, home, etc ahead of ourselves that we end up in the basement.

 

I go out once a month with a mom's only group, it is a sanity-saver for me, but I could do with something small, on a more regular basis to rejuvenate.

[Jill- OK]

And each time, I evaluated whether or not 'catching up' (to that nebulous standard someone has set, lol) would be worse than detoxing or reconvincing children about the merits of homeschooling after a stint in traditional school.

 

I always came down on the side of just catching up, and took a break.

 

It's one of the things that led me to a four day week, short workday, and frequent (sometimes lengthy) breaks, while carrying on a year 'round schedule. We have a fairly encouraging environment for individual learning, I think (I try to minimize the influence of TV and other creativity-suckers, have good books, interesting crafts, instruments, etc., lying around) and we always come back to plugging away at the things that require a certain skill level (math, etc.). I've been doing this for...ten years?...and no one's (too far, lol) behind the power curve.

 

If it's important to you that children maintain a certain level of achievement each year, and stay exactly with their public school counterparts (or exceed them), then something like this won't help you.

 

But if you're open to homeschooling being entirely different from public schooling, and you're committed to it for more than academic reasons, then I'd encourage you to find your own way to 'make it work'. You have to strike a balance between sacrifice and respecting your own needs, I think. In other words, sometimes you suck it up and power through when the house is messy, even if it's bugging you, and do the 'schoolish' things that need to be done, and sometimes you call formal lessons off for a while, clean the house, and relax a little.

 

JMO.

 

ETA: I'll also do what you asked and mention that having kids in school wouldn't really be that much of a 'break', with drop offs, pick ups, homework, and following the school's schedule. A few hours a day might give you some peace...but is the decision worth that? I'm not someone who touts public school as evil...but if you're homeschooling, you obviously believe it has benefits. Are those benefits worth exchanging for a few hours a day, alone? Is there a way you could find a babysitter for a few hours a week and get some time, that way? If your kids are 5th, 3rd and K age...they should be able to have a quiet time each day, or a supervised-by-the-5th-grader game time, something to give you a little breather. I've been known to pop in a movie if it's a question of my sanity. ;-) Anyway, just wanted to add a little more in favor of finding another way.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Jill, OK

[dhudson]

I have a 6th grader and twin 3rd graders who have been hs all the way and yes, burn out is something that I think everyone deals with. It's hard to be on call 24/7 and be responsible for your children's educational, spiritual and social needs. I agree with the previous posters that we as Mom's have to take care of our ourselves. I pieced and wrote my own curriculum for a couple of years and man was that a lot of work! Getting a pre-packaged curriculum that I tweak has been much better. ( We use MFW)

 

The best thing that has helped me is to get away with my dh for a vacation. When we can afford it, we go on a full blown vacation without children. Once to England/Scotland, to Disneyworld (without kids - it's so mean - but so fun!) San Diego and New York City. When haven't had the money, I have just gone on a business trip with my dh and stayed in the hotel and slept and went swimming and read for a week. Last year I sent my kids to Grandmas and Grandpa for ten days and stayed home and read, slept, went shopping, painted some rooms, cleaned and just rejuvenated. I think it's been one of the best things for our marriage (my dh likes to have all my attention once in awhile) and for me as a Mom.

 

We also trade kids every other Friday with some friends ( I have her kids twice a month and she has mine twice a month) from about 2:00 in the afternoon til about 10 in the evening and it is great.

 

From what I hear from friends who have kids in traditional school their lives are just as crazy, so I think you're going to hit a wall either way. Take some time for yourself - whatever that may look like and make it a priority. The old adage that if Mom isn't happy, then nobody is happy is true in many ways.

[PollyOR]

About seven years ago I was a burnt out mom. My husband took a week off from work and kept the kids while I spent a week with my sister and her family. It did wonders for my attitude. I appreciated my family so much more when I returned.

 

I live in an area that is overcast and rainy for much of the winter. I usually "crash" during February. Last winter there was a 24 hour period where I was like a zombie. It was awful! So, I'm wondering if your body is reacting to the lack of sunshine (vitamin D, etc.). Not only are we dealing with winter but also the stress associated with so many holidays close together. Could you be affected by the stress?

 

We hosted Thanksgiving this year, and I took off that week for preparations. I had every intention of restarting school the following Monday. But, I just couldn't do it. I finally accepted the fact that I needed a break, so we are taking off all of December.

 

Listen to your body and go with the flow. We have all our lives to continue learning. Don't worry about being behind. :001_smile:

 

p.s. My oldest went to public school. I wouldn't recommend it. You give up a lot of flexibility when you are tied to their schedule.

[Lori in MS]

I understand. The year I was homeschooling 4 with a new baby, a move, and my dad's death after a year long battle with cancer was the hardest year of my life. But even when I don't have major life issues I still get burnt out once or twice a year at least. Some things that have helped me are

 

I take a week off. If we are really behind and I can't take off totally, we will do a fews days of fun school. Read aloud all day, a cooking project, go to the library and gets lots of books to read etc.

 

I have also chosen a preplanned curriculum that is open and go, can combine children, and is fun. I picked My Father's World and although it is not perfect, they are learning a lot, school is getting done, and I don't have to plan except to get library books for extra reading.

 

I don't know if you are a believer but it helps me to get alone with God, cast my cares on Him, and ask Him what is truly important in my life right now. Sometimes we put too much on ourselves, and make our burden heavy when He means for it to be light.

[teachermom2834]

I appreciate everyone's responses. I failed to mention the 8 mo baby in the mix here. Easy, easy, baby but I can't dismiss the fact that she does have needs that need tending to. Good sleeper but she's up early in the morning and can't be expected to entertain herself while I take my time rolling out of bed.

 

I'm about to give 2 spelling tests and then declare Christmas vacation until January 5. I think I'll consider taking one more week then if I need it. We have some fun outings planned the next couple of weeks.

 

I really have no other option. I'm not ready to consider school at this point. I'm going to continue. School has been getting done and will continue to get done. I just want to feel good about it and be happier and more relaxed. I need some hope that these blues will pass. Dh is taking almost 2 weeks off for the holiday and he has never done that before so hopefully I can come back refreshed in January. I cannot find time in my day right now to exercise (really not possible- not just making excuses). If we take that time off school maybe I can work that in and see if that helps.

 

Thanks for all the encouragement. We have always schooled pretty hard year round and maybe it's just been too much. Then again, I'm not yet willing to compromise what I've been doing. I really need to give it all some thought and figure out how to make it work. Because I AM going to make it work.

 

Thanks again,

Marie

[FO4UR]

I'm just a newbie so I all I can give is:grouphug: You deserve a good break!

 

I will say, when dh is home, do this: Wait until the baby has a full tummy and is ready for a nap, and then LOCK yourself in your bedroom;) Sleep, read, do nothing and let dh referee the kids for a couple hours. Dh does this for me when he can - sometimes prying kids off of the doorhandle (LOL:lol:). It's wonderful!

[angela in ohio]

This will pass if you stick with it.

 

You are at the turning point. In the next year or two, things will get much better as dc get older.

 

I also second Ellie's advice...

[Peela]

Get a health check- iron and thyroid at least. Just make sure your body is not the cause of your tiredness.

[skylark]

I have been homeschooling for 4 years but have experienced the burnout you have described.

I can relate to what you're feeling. I agree with the others that piecing together your own curriculum takes a lot of work. I could not imagine that. I would take some time off if I were you and just enjoy your children.

What you're doing is wonderful and so unselfish, but if you are feeling this way, it doesn't do anyone any good.

 

I would just encourage you to spend some time refreshing yourself, looking for curriculum options and just re-establishing your goals.

 

Hugs...

[TracyR]

This is definitley the time of the year when we find ourselves needing a break for a little bit.

Could K12 possibly help? Sure. As long as its not with a cyberschool and your using it yourself. I'm going to have to be one to put a positive plug on K12. I am using it this year with my kindergardner and we love it. It really has brought out the creative side in me without making me feel I have to.

I'm surprised because for many years I had a lot of people tell me that K12 would burn us out and I've found it has done the opposite for us. Of course each family is different and each child is different but from many years of putting curriculum together it gave me a break.

I can say though that Calvert has burnt out us. My girls have been jumping for joy knowing that next year we are going back to regular homeschooling. I will keep my 3rd daughter in the K12 school as long as it works for us.

 

My point is if you can find a way to combine children, this helps alot. I would love to combine some things with my older two. Such as science and History.

I can definitley say making your own curriculum would burn anyone out. I would take these next two weeks and do nothing but enjoying yourself. Get some of that house cleaning done that you need to get done. Let them play, read to them. Just take the time to relax.

As for me time. I know I won't have that for a very long time. My 4th daughter was born with health problems so two years ago was one of the toughest years of our homeschooling experience. But I manage to stick it out and every year we reasses. But I know in my heart I will always homeschool my girls. If we weathered that storm we can do anything. My girls learned a lot that year when we were traveling back and forth to hospitals. They learned about what its like in a hospital , who worked in a hospital , they learned about different illnesses , they learned about the human body , , different medicines, they learned about the fact that all children aren't born healthy, and last but not least they learned compassion.

 

I read a very good article in the Old School House Magazine this month about " Me Time". I definitley recommend you get the magazine if you can and read the article.

All I can say is yes, this will pass. If you feel in your heart this is what is best for your family by all means keep up with it. Take a much needed break, simplify when you can, and really when the kids are gone your house will always be clean and you won't know what to do with yourself. Your children are only young once.

[MommyInTraining]

I'll second Peela's suggestion of a check-up. With the new baby there may be some other issues going on with your body. Have you suffered from depression in the past?

[wenn]

You've gotten a lot of great advice I just wanted to add a :grouphug:

[langfam]

I have a friend who sent her kids back to (private) school this year and said she feels like she traded her day job for a night job. It's just as much work she says.

[Kim in Appalachia]

This is been my first year that I became upset because there is not a good private (nor a decent public) school in our area. I started this year almost dreading it.

 

I made a lot of changes this year to help me cope. We dropped Latin. My oldest son does quite well with it, but it just took too much of my time. We dropped spelling, and we are doing less with grammar. I used to use Veritas Press, now we're using Ambleside. The kids read, on their own and then write out narrations (sometimes just tell, instead of write).

 

Anyway, I tried to streamline what we do. It is ok to do less, and it is ok to use a pre-packaged curriculum.

 

I also take more time for myself. I exercise, I take days off, I make me a priority. It is important to put you first, because if you get burned out, or get really depressed, or even ill, the rest of your family will suffer. You not only school your children, you run a home.

[Jill- OK]

I also take more time for myself. I exercise, I take days off, I make me a priority. It is important to put you first, because if you get burned out, or get really depressed, or even ill, the rest of your family will suffer. You not only school your children, you run a home.

 

...this, and address something I've seen in recent threads.

 

At least twice, I've seen someone make the statement(s); "I don't have time to exercise"..."I don't have time for therapy", or something similar.

 

I think that's an idea that can be very damaging.

 

Yes, I understand the lack of time in the day when you're homeschooling, and have many children. I understand going it alone, when you have no family nearby, or a spouse that's frequently gone.

 

But it reminds me of the t-shirt that says, "I've got so much to do today, I need to spend a whole lot of time in prayer!" The conventional thinking would be, I need to skip praying (or quiet time, whatever--just making a point) because there's so much else to do, but the whole point of something like prayer is that it's foundational to a right attitude...and you'll need that if you've got a big to-do list.

 

I feel similarly about exercise, good nutrition, mental health maintenance, etc. (Add in all other metaphors here about dry wells, airplane oxygen masks, etc.) If you allow yourself to break down, you're not only hurting yourself, but all the other folks who depend on you. Staying healthy should be a priority.

 

Okay, I'm done...;-)

[jabuford]

you do to take a break for yourself? I don't take much time to myself. My mom is always telling me to get away when my husband gets home, but I don't because I don't have anywhere to go.

[TracyR]

Well typical "me time" comes at 8 oclock. My daughters have a set bed time and then its just time for me or my husband and I. Right now I am taking online college courses so its me time, at least for now.

There are lots of places you can go. The one thing I enjoy doing is shopping. I don't always have the money but I do like to walk around and see what the stores have.

You can get a membership to a YMCA or other gym. When your hubby gets home , go out the door and go walk the treadmill for a little while or ride the stationary bike.

Go visit with a family member. I do like to visit my sister even though she lives about 45 minutes away from me. I don't get to visit her as often as I wish but I do go visit. If I can't visit her I call her like every day! LOL.

If you have any friends , go see a movie. Get your nails done.

If money is an issue and your weather is pretty decent , go for a walk outside. Breathe in some fresh air. I know where I live I breathe in the stagnet air from about October to about April because we live in the snow belt.

If all else fails go to a McDonalds and sit and have a cup of coffee and bask in the silence for a little while before going home. Go to the library if its still open and go read a good book.

Those are some of the many things you can do ,and places you can go.

Unless you live in Alaska and are about a thousand miles from civilization there is always somewhere you can go.

Edited December 19, 2008 by TracyR

[Starr]

I found it tiring when my daughter was in school as well. Raising children is hard work! We are with you!

[sagira]

...this, and address something I've seen in recent threads.

 

At least twice, I've seen someone make the statement(s); "I don't have time to exercise"..."I don't have time for therapy", or something similar.

 

I think that's an idea that can be very damaging.

 

Yes, I understand the lack of time in the day when you're homeschooling, and have many children. I understand going it alone, when you have no family nearby, or a spouse that's frequently gone.

 

But it reminds me of the t-shirt that says, "I've got so much to do today, I need to spend a whole lot of time in prayer!" The conventional thinking would be, I need to skip praying (or quiet time, whatever--just making a point) because there's so much else to do, but the whole point of something like prayer is that it's foundational to a right attitude...and you'll need that if you've got a big to-do list.

 

I feel similarly about exercise, good nutrition, mental health maintenance, etc. (Add in all other metaphors here about dry wells, airplane oxygen masks, etc.) If you allow yourself to break down, you're not only hurting yourself, but all the other folks who depend on you. Staying healthy should be a priority.

 

Okay, I'm done...;-)

 

Nice post. I needed to read that :grouphug:

[PollyOR]

you do to take a break for yourself? I don't take much time to myself. My mom is always telling me to get away when my husband gets home, but I don't because I don't have anywhere to go.

 

I try to take off one evening a week. Mainly I go to Borders book store. Sometimes I go to the library.

 

During the summer months when the evenings are still light, I go eat a small Georgia Mud Fudge blizzard while sitting in my van in the Dairy Queen parking lot. How's that for exciting? :D

[gardenschooler]

I feel similarly about exercise, good nutrition, mental health maintenance, etc. (Add in all other metaphors here about dry wells, airplane oxygen masks, etc.) If you allow yourself to break down, you're not only hurting yourself, but all the other folks who depend on you. Staying healthy should be a priority.

 

Okay, I'm done...;-)

 

I think this is the main thing that contributes to burnout, but I've found that as kids get older, all of that just vanishes. I have oodles of free time now, and can take a lunch out or go read a book anytime I please. When they were all young, I really had to guard my time to be sure I could take care of myself. When I didn't, it wasn't helpful to them or our homeschooling in any way.

 

And as far as the curriculum goes - I got very burned out after trying to reinvent the wheel and doing most of our schooling from scratch for the first 6-7 years. Even if you use a straight WTM method, there are plenty of helpful things you can buy that will take some stress off, and conserve a bit of your mental energy. That was also a biggie for me, so that could possibly have something to do with your current feelings, too. It's a lot of work to spend all day schooling/herding kids, and then all night putting things together.

[gardenschooler]

you do to take a break for yourself? I don't take much time to myself. My mom is always telling me to get away when my husband gets home, but I don't because I don't have anywhere to go.

 

Bookstore (with coffee!), library, or out with a girlfriend are my usual things I do at least a couple of times a month, usually. I try to go for walks alone, too. It doesn't have to be fancy, it just has to be rejuvenating for you.

[phathui5]

I can't say I've ever gotten burned out homeschooling. This is our fourth year and I'm still totally into it. But I do get worn down sometime. Between having four kids, homeschooling, working from home and going to college, I balance a lot.

 

I've declared the next two weeks no-school, mom's cleaning/planning/break time.

 

Another thing I do is have a mother's helper who I can call when I need someone to play with the kids, help me clean, etc.

[Annabel Lee]

Those are some of the many things you can do ,and places you can go.

Unless you live in Alaska and are about a thousand miles from civilization there is always somewhere you can go.

 

Um... Hi, I am in AK, and not even in the big city of Anchorage. We have (too many IMO) nail salons, massage therapists, bookstores (locally owned and Barnes & Noble), movie theatres, craft stores, and many other places/activities that could count as "me time".

 

This has been a good thread to read. It made me evaluate my habits and the thinking behind them. Years ago I got into the habit of staying up almost all night due to a nursing baby who had (physical, medical) eating problems. Then I never snapped out of it. At some point it became a choice that I made because I always felt like that time at night, after EVERYONE (even dh) is in bed, was the only time where the noise level was down, I got to relax and do what's interesting to me, etc. It's about my needs being saved for last and then there being no time in the day for them. Thank you all so much for your input here. Priorities at this house are going to go "under construction" for a little while.

 

To the OP: :grouphug: to you!! My older son was in ps for a year and I just couldn't keep myself out of it due to one thing or another. The curriculum they had was so far behind where he was that I ended up forming an advanced readers group for a third of his class (so I was there alot, planning reading lessons at home, etc.). Otherwise they would have had to just wait for the lessons to catch up with them and the "teacher" in me just couldn't let it slide. Just because I missed him I went in and ate lunch with him about 2 days per week. The bus was an awful, unsupervised place where inappropriate things were shared and bullying was left largely uncorrected. He only rode it a handful of times, so I still drove him to and from school. That was just our ps experience, not a general judgement on it by any means.

 

As for curriculum, I will be using something prepared for science next year. If I want to tweak it, fine, but the bulk of it will be done. No more spending so much time on planning and gathering resources. I haven't chosen what I'll be using. RS4K sounds good to me, but so does Apologia! :tongue_smilie: I'm saving the chore of comparing all of the wonderful choices for 2009, because my plate is full w/ Christmas around the corner. ;)

 

Hope that helps, and have a relaxing Christmas!

[Pamela H in Texas]

I'm hoping someone can tell me that this will pass if I stick with it (kind of like that statistic that a certain percentage of people who are unhappy in their marriage say 5 yrs later that they are happy if they stick it out).

 

This has been my experience in both my marriage and our homeschooling (though I don't know I could have handled if the rocky point of both were at the same time!).

 

I did use a program (Abeka DvD's with dd and K12 virtual academy with ds) for 7th grade. There were definite benefits of taking that year with each of them to BREATHE. When you catch your breath, whether it's after a couple months or a year or two, you can jump back into homeschooling more traditionally. It really did help in our case. Some people just take that year off but I never could have done that. It really worked better for us to just use a program.

 

Hope this helps a little :)

[momsquared]

I answer this as both a HSing mom and a teacher. One thing I have learned in both is to always have a back up plan or "bag of tricks". No matter the setting there are always going to be days when mom/teacher or child/student do not want to cooperate. The key is to feel comfortable with setting aside "the plan" and pulling something you know everyone will like. In school this includes art or music for my high schoolers. Sometimes they just need some time to talk out current things happening in their lives or in the school. At home, DD like to watch a Leap Frog video or just run around outside. We try to school a bit every day so I know it will all get accomplished eventually.

[momsquared]

Not even Target or just wander a mall? I went to Target by myself for an hour last night for some last minute shopping and it was outstanding.

 

you do to take a break for yourself? I don't take much time to myself. My mom is always telling me to get away when my husband gets home, but I don't because I don't have anywhere to go.

[Jen in PA]

When I was a classroom teacher, I remember how frustrated the parents would get over having to fit their lives to the school calendar. They had no control over the breaks, the half days, closings and delays, etc. They were supposed to squeeze in all of their dc's appointments after school hours or during vacations. They had to decide whether a child was really too sick for school, and make emergency runs to the nurse's office when they guessed wrong. Their kids had little free time or family time. And many of them spent more time each day helping their kids with homework than some of us spend schooling!

 

I know lots of people think that homeschooling is more difficult than sending them out the door each day, but I see it from the opposite perspective. I have all of the responsibility, but also complete control over our schedule, which makes my life easier in the long run.

[laughing lioness]

Avoiding burnout- streamline your educational philosophy. If more than one looks good to you, tweak it, but stick to it. This will streamline curriculum you look at, mags you read, etc.

Set yearly goals for your kids based on your child, overall vision and scope and sequence.

Secondly, work out if you can 3-5 times a week. Schedule computer time. Plan to read a book. Schedule time for yourself that enriches you as a person. Self care for the provider is #1 rule of any good care-taker. One of the hard lessons I've learned over the years is that is the leader crumps from overwork, everyone blames the leader. Be a good leader in your home and take care of YOU, not selfishly-you kwim?

Learn and grow as an educator. Education is my vocation. I read about it constantly. My dh (a psychologist) and I are constantly sharing articles, books etc, blogging about education. When we grow as educators we become more excited about our "jobs" as homeschooling parents.

Stick to basics.

Change it up. We do a lot of memory work. It's hard. Sometimes I dread a new week. When that happens we focus more on content areas. I spend more time reading outloud. We play SOTW tapes more often. We walk to the river. When I feel dread about something I need to step back.

Make sure your kids are doing thier share. Our parenting philosophy is that the kids should be working harder than the parents. Take a look at families where the parents work harder (emotionally) than the kids and you will see a set-up for failure. Of course, keep it age appropriate. But if you are getting drained disciplining or cajoling your kids to do their work, you are probably working too hard at it, and they need to "work" harder than they are.

We generally school year round but we take chunks of time off as needed. One summer we took the whole summer off- gardened, wrote, read a lot. It was so fun!

Lastly, we are committed to homeschooling for the long haul. We know enough about government schools to know our kids won't be reared by them, so this is a long-term committment on our part. If we need to take time to regroup or recharge we take it, maybe that's for a day and we go to town and hang-out at B & N, eat at the park or watch a movie. Sometimes it's for several days. In the end, we get a little bored with too much "leisure" and go back to schooling with deliberation.

Lastly, "it's a marathon, not a sprint."

All the best.

[love2read]

I didn't read the other replies, so if this is all redundant just ignore me :)

 

Yes, it passes. I'm getting close to 20 years of homeschooling and have cycled through "burned out" a few times. It's never lasted for more than a few months at the longest. Take enough vacation time that you and the kids get bored and want to get back to formal learning.

 

Change your method of teaching some subjects (e.g,. if you use textbooks for history, switch to living books; move to creative writing for a few months if you have been doing non-fiction IEW type writing.) It's not too late to switch to pre-planned lesson plans for the rest of this year. There are free plans online as you probably know. You might also be interested in time4learning.com for a break. I wouldn't invest a lot of money in a totally new curriculum at this point in the year, but switching things around is probably a good move. If you don't like to design your curriculum, start looking into a packaged curriculum for next year.

[Woodland_Mom]

I think most of us get tired at some point. It will pass. Remember that sometimes you have to take care of YOU before you can take care of others. Lots of hugs to you!!

[ElizabethB]

you do to take a break for yourself? I don't take much time to myself. My mom is always telling me to get away when my husband gets home, but I don't because I don't have anywhere to go.

 

Even grocery shopping alone is a break for me! I didn't realize shopping alone was a luxury until I had children.

 

Sometimes after my husband comes home I will "hide" in my husband's office and read a book in peace and quiet if I need a break.