WWYD -- Kids with pretend champagne at school parties

[Alessandra]

What would you do if you had dc in ps (early elementary) and the school's holiday parties had a New Year's theme, with kids drinking pretend champagne (soda) out of plastic champagne glasses? I have no special objection (religious or otherwise) to moderate drinking -- in ADULTS. But having children model adult drinking is another matter-- I don't like it. I'm not a big protester, but I am thinking of leaving school early -- parties are right before the holiday dismissal. I should give a reason for leaving early -- what would you say?

 

BTW, I think the school does these parties so as not to offend any religious group. I would love opinions from Muslims here -- or others for whom alcohol is unacceptable for religious reasons.

[fshinkevich]

We do that with our kids - not to mimic drinking but to mark occasions with fancy drink and special cups that they don't get to use daily. Just like pulling out your special silverware.

 

I might have issue if they were calling it "champagne" but the presentation doesn't bother me at all.

 

However, if it bothers you than of course you should pull him out early.

[KidsHappen]

I don't know. I tend to look at this from the opposite point of view. I think that it teaches the children that they can have special, festive drinks that are non-alcoholic. That there are fun options besides alcohol. We do the same thing at home every holiday season with sparkling grape juices in our best wine glasses. The children love it and I have never seen any bad influences or even complaints from the neighbors about me giving it to their children at childrens' parties.

[Riverfront Headmistress]

My kids drink sparkling grape juice and call it champagne. I have no problem with it.

[OnTheBrink]

I wouldn't have any problem with it. I've given my dc soda in fancy "alcohol" glasses before. They just want to be included in the fun and festivity, they don't want to drink alcohol. My 21 year old can't stand the stuff still.

[Alessandra]

Ok, four people so far (100%) are on the side of its OK. I guess I could live with it. I hardly drink, but I come from a family with several quiet (i. e. never openly drunk) alcoholics, so I am always bringing that to the table, so to speak.

[teamturner]

I'm torn as well. When my dd turned 5 yo I had a princess party for her and I served the punch in champagne glasses with curling ribbon on the stem. My goal was just fancy, "royal" type of glasses, not to pretend we were drinking champagne.

 

When we are at special gatherings with family we often toast the occasion and our dc love doing this. We all just do it with whatever glass we are drinking from. So I guess since New Years is associated with having a toast then I would be fine with it. I would rather the teacher not say we are pretending it's champagne but that we are toasting to the New Year. My dc know that champagne is an adult beverage and this could be a chance for you to reinforce that concept with your dc.

[pqr]

It is fine, I see no problem with it.

 

As a child I was always allowed a sip of champagne on Christmas and some watered down wine at dinner parties.

 

I am a very moderate drinker and did not even have a drink on my 21st birthday because it held no allure for me.

 

Being overseas I just might let my kids have the same sip of champagne :-)

[Crissy]

We do that with our kids - not to mimic drinking but to mark occasions with fancy drink and special cups that they don't get to use daily. Just like pulling out your special silverware.

 

These are my thoughts, as well.

 

I have one son who, at 14, is not the least bit interested in drinking alcohol. He always refuses when uncles and grandparents offer him a glass, or even a sip at family gatherings.

Still, he does like to honor an occasion with special glasses, plates and silver. He loves a formally set table on holidays (real holidays, or those we make up).

 

I agree that isn't about the alcohol. It is about distinguishing a special day from an ordinary one.

Edited December 15, 2008 by Crissy

[RoughCollie]

As long as the kids knew they were drinking soda, it wouldn't bother me at all. They love to drink out of fancy glasses on special occasions.

 

DH and I don't drink alcoholic beverages except that we will have one glass of wine if we have company for a holiday meal. Our friends don't drink, either. I am not worried that the kids will get a pro-alcohol message from drinking out of fancy glasses.

 

I think that it is not the drinkware that can cause problems, but the environment in which the kids are raised. If my kids had been raised in my hometown, where all my relatives drink like fish, they would have gotten an entirely different, pro-alcoholic message about drinking.

 

RC

Edited December 15, 2008 by RoughCollie

[Word Nerd]

We celebrate with sparkling apple or grape juice at Christmas and New Year's at home, but there isn't any emphasis on it being pretend alcohol.

[lionfamily1999]

Ok, four people so far (100%) are on the side of its OK. I guess I could live with it. I hardly drink, but I come from a family with several quiet (i. e. never openly drunk) alcoholics, so I am always bringing that to the table, so to speak.

We have the same issues in my family. My children, the older two anyway ;) , know that addictive personalities run in our family and I've taught them since they were old enough to understand that moderation is key. That being said, we do "indulge" in sparkling ciders and juices during special occasions. My kids do not pretend it's hooch, they know that certain drinks are only had on special occasions, those drinks go into special glasses, etc. Of course, our family is super sensitive about alcohol and my kids know that pretending to be drunk/drinking is not funny, so they don't.

 

If it makes you super uncomfortable to have your child drinking something that resembles alcohol, then by all means, take em' home early. You're the parent, not us, do what is right FOR YOU.

[WagsWife]

We do not drink alcohol at all...but we do have sparkling cider on Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years (sometimes birthdays if they ask for it.) We drink it in *"fancy wine glasses" as well. For my kids it has nothing to do with pretend alcohol...it is more about being fancy and celebrating in a way they do not do on a regular basis.

 

*There is nothing fancy at all about the glasses...more tacky than anything else. They are from the 90's (when dh and I were married) when I wanted my "colors" for the kitchen to be black. My mom found wine and water glasses for me...some all black...some with black stems. I cringe every time we get them out...but the kids think they are great!

[Riverfront Headmistress]

I forgot to mention that my kids use shot glasses to pour soy sauce into. I don't think they even know the "other" use for a shot glass.

[Lovedtodeath]

My kids drink sparkling grape juice and call it champagne. I have no problem with it.

 

:iagree:If my religion objected to alcohol altogether, then I might pull them out from a party that mimics drinking it.

[Haiku]

I don't drink at all, for both religious and personal reasons. I don't really have any objection to kids drinking sparkling beverages out of wine glasses. We do it here sometimes. My main complaint, and something for which I would pull my kids out early, is the school giving them soda. I have a 14 year old who attends public school, and honestly, it appalls me the cr*p that they give the kids. Not only are the lunches completely gross (my daughter takes a lunch for this reason), but the kids are rewarded with candy and every party they have involves Doritos and Oreos!! I think that my daughter is too old for me to fuss about it (although I do express my displeasure with what the school does to my daughter), but if my little kids were in school (K and 1st), you can bet that I would complain about it and not let them participate. My kids drink soda occasionally, but the school should (imo) not be giving kids junk food. That's the parents' decision.

 

In the end, what we here at TWTM think about it doesn't matter. If you are uncomfortable with it, by all means, I think you should say something to the school about it and, if it's not resolved to your satisfaction, bring your kids home early. Although I do let my kids drink sparkling beverages from wine glasses, I do get a vaguely uncomfortable feeling about this being done with a group of kids are school, for precisely the reasons you mentioned.

 

Tara

[hornblower]

This wouldn't bother me at all.

 

We have 'fake champagne' at all the kids' birthdays, served in flutes. I buy Duché de Longueville sparkling non alcoholic ciders for that purpose. We give it to our designated drivers as well.

 

But we also allow our kids to have very small amounts of beer or watered down wine.

[dirty ethel rackham]

I think that it teaches the children that they can have special, festive drinks that are non-alcoholic. That there are fun options besides alcohol. We do the same thing at home every holiday season with sparkling grape juices in our best wine glasses. The children love it and I have never seen any bad influences or even complaints from the neighbors about me giving it to their children at childrens' parties.

 

I guess that if the focus was not on "pretending to drink champaign" but on marking the special occasion, I would feel a little better about it. However, I would still be bugged that it was part of a school celebration. I would have the sparkling grape juice in my home as part of a family celebration, but not in a school setting. I just think it sends the wrong message.

[newbie]

Its a mixed bag, I come from the point , I do not like to expose my kids to drinking, so they might think they are just fancy cups, because we dont drink in the house.

 

But other children who are young and see mommy and daddy drink quite frequently might be confused. It can send a very mixed msg. Perhaps have a conversation w/teacher and tell her your concern. Sometimes they understand and can maximize the fact that we are having soda in fancy cups.

 

Depending on age maybe she can incorporate a no drinking lesson.

 

I have been brought up w/alcohol all my life and it did not work out well for any of my siblings and I personally choose not to expose my children. But I do explain the dangers and pitfalls to them.

 

I am on the no side, if teacher was not understanding I would leave early.

[Peek a Boo]

are YOU calling it pretend champagne or is this how the school is describing it?

 

i would have a problem if that's how the school is describing it, but otherwise it wouldn't bother me for many reasons stated already.

 

our family: I don't drink alcohol too often, but dh does. We've given our kiddos sips here and there.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I'm just joining those who see no problem with this. My kids love to drink sparkling cider out of special glasses on special occasions. They especially love being included in the toasts (saying "Cheers!" and clinking their glasses together. Of course, in our family, EVERYONE is drinking sparkling cider, including the adults. My kids aren't exposed to much drinking. My whole family used to drink. My dad died of alcoholic liver disease. But, no one drinks anymore. We're a bunch of tee totalers! :o)

 

As long as they're not pretending it's champagne, or pretending to be drunk at school, I wouldn't have a problem with it.

[FloridaLisa]

I wouldn't like it and I think it sends kids a mixed message (Just Say No but It's Okay to Pretend). Moreover, I wouldn't have one problem whatsoever leaving early if it bothered me (and dh) even if 1000 other people thought it was okay. I'd take my dc and plan a fun event with our family so that they would still have a celebration to look forward to.

 

By the way, this is no way reflects on anyone who would decide to let their dc attend. It's just that if *I* had problem with it, I'd follow my instinct.

 

Lisa[/color]

[Kris]

I wouldn't have a problem with it, either. My family is crawling with alcoholics, but I don't think it had anything to do with the juice we drank in fancy glasses, or the wine we had with Thanksgiving dinner.

[lionfamily1999]

It's just that if *I* had problem with it, I'd follow my instinct.

 

Lisa[/color]

:iagree:

[LaxMom]

We do that with our kids - not to mimic drinking but to mark occasions with fancy drink and special cups that they don't get to use daily. Just like pulling out your special silverware.

 

I might have issue if they were calling it "champagne" but the presentation doesn't bother me at all.

 

However, if it bothers you than of course you should pull him out early.

 

:iagree: I have no issue with the symbolic celebratory toast. In fact, I have no issue with my children participating in an actual champagne toast (but at school, that would certainly raise an eyebrow). But, if it bothers you, then you need to acknowledge that and act accordingly.

[Tracey in TX]

I have mixed feelings if the term "champagne" was being used by the school or classroom party host. Otherwise using a special glass to celebrate is a typical; similar to celebrating with the colorful holiday cups.

 

I don't drink often, but when I do the children are encouraged to have a taste of wine. When it's available there's less of a mysterious air and, hopefully, reduces the likelihood of binge drinking during teen and college years. We've already begun talking about the evils of drunkenness (mostly driving under influence).

 

No matter what you decide, you should voice your concerns with the teacher and/or party coordinator. Other parents may have similar concerns, but don't feel bold enough to bring the topic to discussion. Quietly standing to the side implies tacit agreement.

 

Good luck in your decision!

Cheers, prost, salute, salute', skol, while we raise our virtual class of clean tap water to you! :)

[Pretty in Pink]

I'm chiming in to agree with the others who have suggested you trust your instincts. I come from a family of alcoholics and I see both sides of the issue. I do not think it would be ludicrous for you to pick your children up early if you are uncomfortable with the situation. They will not be scarred for life if they miss this party.

[Alessandra]

After reading what everyone said, I think I am probably over-reacting a bit. No one is calling it fake champagne -- that was my take on the champagne flutes. But I saw a similar party last year -- little second graders all dressed up in party clothes holding the plastic flutes. And some of the little girls were in rather slinky dresses. It probably the growing them up so fast that gets to me.

 

I would give dc a sip of wine at home if I had any and if they asked, which they haven't. And we do dress nicely for church. But I still want my kids to be 8 going on 9, not 8 going on 18. So, I'm still thinking about it and will be looking at all the posts again.

[beansprouts]

Add us to the list. We serve grape juice in pretty wine glasses for special dinners. The kids like it. We tell them when they are 21 they can have the real thing.

[Peek a Boo]

And some of the little girls were in rather slinky dresses. It probably the growing them up so fast that gets to me.

 

...... But I still want my kids to be 8 going on 9, not 8 going on 18.

 

 

I agree. Unfortunately, that's largely the parents' fault and not the schools, altho the schools aren't helping much because they are groupthink by default.

 

good luck :)

[Danestress]

Serve punch from fancy glasses. That suits me fine. But don't call it champagne and don't imply that part of being an adult is drinking alcohol. I think this was seriously bad judgement.

 

And I'm a drinker. I drink almost every day. No one in my family has drinking problems (thank God) but I don't need that personal experience to know that abuse of alchohol has devestating affects on people and that we don't need to start having kids pretend to drink.

 

Next year they should pass out candy cigarettes and practice smoking, lol.

[Peek a Boo]

Serve punch from fancy glasses. That suits me fine. But don't call it champagne and don't imply that part of being an adult is drinking alcohol. I think this was seriously bad judgement.

 

And I'm a drinker. I drink almost every day. No one in my family has drinking problems (thank God) but I don't need that personal experience to know that abuse of alchohol has devestating affects on people and that we don't need to start having kids pretend to drink.

 

Next year they should pass out candy cigarettes and practice smoking, lol.

 

well, the good news is they WEREN't doing that :)

 

but hey --there's only one little gas station in Waxahachie that sells the old candy cigarettes. I loooove those things! sugar sticks w/ red dye on the end. And still packaged in the politically incorrect boxes that resemble cigarette packages. and yeah, we play w/ those a LOT.

And I've never smoked anything except those ;)

[Danestress]

I assumed if you could buy them anywhere, it would be in the Tobacco State of North Carolina!

 

 

 

well, the good news is they WEREN't doing that :)

 

but hey --there's only one little gas station in Waxahachie that sells the old candy cigarettes. I loooove those things! sugar sticks w/ red dye on the end. And still packaged in the politically incorrect boxes that resemble cigarette packages. and yeah, we play w/ those a LOT.

And I've never smoked anything except those ;)

[Dawn in OH]

My main complaint, and something for which I would pull my kids out early, is the school giving them soda.

 

I agree with you there. I very rarely allow my children to have soda, or Kool-Aid, or juices with sugar added, etc. If and when I do allow it, is up to my discretion. I would not like a school or anyplace else serving that to my child without my consent. I know it may seem crazy to other people.

 

I don't see any problem with the champagne glasses though. We use them with our children on New Year's Eve and at weddings. They usually have sparkling grape juice in them. They get a big kick out of the fancy glasses.